We celebrated Maxim's gotcha day quietly on December 23. It was the one year anniversary of the day we received in our hands the Ukrainian judge's decree, finalizing our adoption of Maxim Matthew Campau. I can't believe it's already been a year in some ways; on the other hand, so much has happened since bringing him home, how could it possibly have only been a year?!
We kept the acknowledgement of the day low key since all of the rest of us have actual December or January birthdays and we didn't want to confuse Maxim at this point. Birthdays were not acknowledged regularly at the orphanage he spent so much time in, so the whole concept is still something of a mystery to him. I think it's beginning to make sense though, and next July when he turns eight, I'm sure he will "get" why we're making such a big deal out of him.
A lot of interesting things have played together in the last few day in surprising ways, giving us a glimpse of how Maxim is feeling after a year in his very own family.
On Maxim's gotcha day, we watched a slide show of all the photos Daniel and I took while we were in Ukraine. Then we switched over to the videos we made, and that is what really grabbed his attention. He has wanted to sit and watch them all again several times in the last few days. We asked him if he remembered certain teachers and such, but it seems to be more a feeling than actual people and places that mean the most to him. Obviously, when Daniel and I were there to begin the adoption process and get to know Maxim, the attention we could give him was undivided; fun and loving and focused on him. I think watching these videos has reminded Maxim that it can't be that way within our home now. Love and attention, yes, but probably never again as focused and undivided just for him as we could then, until his older siblings leave the nest. Seeing this, I realize it was a blessing to have to stay in Ukraine as long as we did before bringing him home. As much as I disliked much of the confusion and corruption around us in the country, and those things make it hard to wholeheartedly recommend Ukrainian adoption to anyone, Maxim personally needed the time it took to bring him home.
Just a few days before his gotcha day, we had selected several dvds at the library, one of which was from the National Geographic series, In The Womb. This particular episode dealt with pregnancies with multiples. The computer generation and 4D imaging is incredible and we were all really intrigued watching it. Amazed again at God's perfect hand. I checked it out just thinking it would be interesting but Maxim was really amazed. He asked many times about who had been inside me and did the doctor help them come out? He asked about being in me, and I explained as I have before that he had a mama before me, far away in Ukraine, and he grew inside her.
In addition, a few days ago, we borrowed a baby doll for a completely unrelated purpose, and Maxim has wanted to pick it up and care for it regularly since then; it liked taking it in the tub and washing it. He kept it with him while he ate more than once and assured me he only let the baby have chicken,turkey and gum. I have seen him sit and rock the doll.
All of these things together let me see him processing what it's like to be a baby cared for by others; what it must have been like for him. It drills it into my head once again that we can't get that time back for him, but we have to love him like crazy now. Not spoiling in any way, but doing our best to make sure he knows he is absolutely loved. He will always have questions about what happened before he became a Campau, but may he never doubt love and security where he is now.
His physical therapy is going very well. He really likes Jenny, who works with him twice a week, and tries hard to do everything she asks of him. They are working not only on getting up on his feet with the aid of his little blue crutches, but also on building up core strength so he can increase his balance and endurance.
Looking at all of the pictures/videos from last year was bitter sweet to us for one particular reason: it was really shocking to realize how much mass Maxim really lost due to all of the castings and surgeries he has gone through. His legs at this point are about half the diameter they were when we brought him home. The process that is leading to him being able to walk soon really took him to the brink of what he could afford to lose. It makes me sad to see what he's lost in healthy roundness, but I know Who the Restorer is; the Giver of every good thing; the Redeemer. I know there are good days in the hands of the Author and Finisher. He knows what He's doing.
Along with Maxim's progress, our other children are reaching major milestones. Cyan just turned eighteen, so we are officially the parents of an adult now. God is continuing to give her vision for life ahead, even if she doesn't see the fulfillment of healing from CP yet. She is setting goals and pressing on.
Brina turned sixteen on the 25th and just got her braces off a month ago. Her ears are newly pierced, which she has waited a long time for, per Papa's wishes. Driver's ed is sounding very appealing to her, and just looking for what God has for her in the days ahead.
Joel is fourteen now, as of December 7, and has changed so much this year. No more buzz cuts, thank you very much. He is at that stage where wrestling and building treehouses and such still hold great appeal, but he's searching for greater challenge too.
I love that all the kids still love hugs and time together. May this never change, even though they must spread their wings a little more every day. One doesn't have to negate the other.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
walking masterpiece
Maxim is taking his first steps these days, with help. He is eager to keep trying and to take a little more weight on his feet and legs with each passing day. His crutches should be ready by the 11th and his first physical therapy appointment to begin training with them is set for the 15th. A great adventure ahead for him, no doubt. I thought you might enjoy seeing the beginnings of his new life up on his feet.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Made New
It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me
Daniel 4:2
BEAUTIFUL FEET
FIRST SHOES
Finally, I can post some pictures. Our camera was out of commission and it wasn't in the budget to repair it. However, Daniel had wisely purchased the two year warranty for it last year, so off it went to the manufacturer. Once I sent it to them, they were very quick to fix it and send it right back. It arrived back at our house in tip-top shape the day before Thanksgiving. What perfect timing.
The day Maxim's last little casts came off, all the other kids decided to go too so they could see his "new feet" as soon as possible. Actually, some of them didn't stay in the room with him the whole time because, once again, he was really freaked out by the cast saw. He has definitely had it with that process. I'm sure he will be a very happy camper if he never has to see another cast saw. Us too. Anyway, once the casts were off and his feet were unwrapped, he was smiling. A little concerned at first because of some tickly feelings, but he seems to have gotten used to the new sensations for the most part.
We were very excited once Maxim received his afo's (ankle-foot orthotics - plastic braces that fit down the back of his lower legs and into his shoe for support). They are such a great fit. Cyan has been through them many times in the past so I've seen a lot. These looked perfect right away. Maxim was a little scared at first, about moving his newly freed legs and also that the braces would hurt. Once they were on though, he was good with it.
We couldn't resist heading to the stores right away to buy Maxim's first shoes. Target first, but nothing wide enough. Based on past experience with Cyan, we headed to Payless Shoes. They are good about carrying wide widths and styles that allow the tongue of the shoe to be folded back further too; key factors when you're trying to fit shoes on a child with afo's.
I was feeling a little guilty about spending so much on shoes, but after we saw how each of the three pair looked on Maxim, how well they fit, how happy he was to see them on his feet, and Joel said, "Just think, Mom, this is a lot less than you've spent on all of our (older kids') shoes over the years.", I went to the cash register with all of them. Now I don't regret it at all. He really enjoys deciding which ones to wear to which place.
I will admit that the picture I have posted here is the most flattering of the shots we took of Maxim's feet at this point. They are by no means perfect. To give you an idea, they basically look like the feet of a baby who has never born weight on their feet. Straight, fat, and still a little curved on the bottom. However, the curve is in the opposite direction that his feet were turning when we first brought him home. Last January, his feet turned severely under and toward each other. Now, like I said, they are kind of chubby and curved in the proper direction. We are thrilled because now they can slip into the afo's and then into shoes.
The next day, we were off to Dr. Reinhart, the specialist's, office. Maxim wanted to show her how he could take some steps with Mama's support. That was what he had wanted to do over and over the whole evening before. He really wants to take off!
She looked at new x-rays of his right hip, his level of upper body strength, and his drive and decided to prescribe lofstrand crutches (Sp?) instead of a walker. She feels he is ready. These are the crutches that do not come all the way under the arm. They have a cuff at the top that wraps around the forearm and a handle on each one for the hand to grasp. Maxim's are now on order. He asked for silver ones and they should be ready on December 11.
The best part is that the evening after we had been to the specialists, Daniel and I were with the kids at a prayer meeting we enjoy attending on Wednesday nights. Enjoy is an understatement, actually. We have been soooooo refreshed and stretched at the same time by these gatherings of people who can testify to God's transforming power in their every day lives and pour the resulting exploding faith into prayer. Fervent effective prayer. Anyway, while we were there, listening to testimonies, Maxim just wanted to walk walk walk. I walked him as long as my back could stand but I finally had to sit down. While we sat there, listening to others, Maxim quietly slid down off his chair and, hanging on tightly to chairs and knees around him, he walked himself down the row from me to Daniel. Such an awesome thing to see. I really believe he is going to do much more, go much further, than many people think. Between God's healing love and Maxim's own persistence, his potential is incredible.
I believe Maxim will continue to be a testimony that God cannot be contained in our boxes.
Daniel 4:2
BEAUTIFUL FEET
FIRST SHOES
Finally, I can post some pictures. Our camera was out of commission and it wasn't in the budget to repair it. However, Daniel had wisely purchased the two year warranty for it last year, so off it went to the manufacturer. Once I sent it to them, they were very quick to fix it and send it right back. It arrived back at our house in tip-top shape the day before Thanksgiving. What perfect timing.
The day Maxim's last little casts came off, all the other kids decided to go too so they could see his "new feet" as soon as possible. Actually, some of them didn't stay in the room with him the whole time because, once again, he was really freaked out by the cast saw. He has definitely had it with that process. I'm sure he will be a very happy camper if he never has to see another cast saw. Us too. Anyway, once the casts were off and his feet were unwrapped, he was smiling. A little concerned at first because of some tickly feelings, but he seems to have gotten used to the new sensations for the most part.
We were very excited once Maxim received his afo's (ankle-foot orthotics - plastic braces that fit down the back of his lower legs and into his shoe for support). They are such a great fit. Cyan has been through them many times in the past so I've seen a lot. These looked perfect right away. Maxim was a little scared at first, about moving his newly freed legs and also that the braces would hurt. Once they were on though, he was good with it.
We couldn't resist heading to the stores right away to buy Maxim's first shoes. Target first, but nothing wide enough. Based on past experience with Cyan, we headed to Payless Shoes. They are good about carrying wide widths and styles that allow the tongue of the shoe to be folded back further too; key factors when you're trying to fit shoes on a child with afo's.
I was feeling a little guilty about spending so much on shoes, but after we saw how each of the three pair looked on Maxim, how well they fit, how happy he was to see them on his feet, and Joel said, "Just think, Mom, this is a lot less than you've spent on all of our (older kids') shoes over the years.", I went to the cash register with all of them. Now I don't regret it at all. He really enjoys deciding which ones to wear to which place.
I will admit that the picture I have posted here is the most flattering of the shots we took of Maxim's feet at this point. They are by no means perfect. To give you an idea, they basically look like the feet of a baby who has never born weight on their feet. Straight, fat, and still a little curved on the bottom. However, the curve is in the opposite direction that his feet were turning when we first brought him home. Last January, his feet turned severely under and toward each other. Now, like I said, they are kind of chubby and curved in the proper direction. We are thrilled because now they can slip into the afo's and then into shoes.
The next day, we were off to Dr. Reinhart, the specialist's, office. Maxim wanted to show her how he could take some steps with Mama's support. That was what he had wanted to do over and over the whole evening before. He really wants to take off!
She looked at new x-rays of his right hip, his level of upper body strength, and his drive and decided to prescribe lofstrand crutches (Sp?) instead of a walker. She feels he is ready. These are the crutches that do not come all the way under the arm. They have a cuff at the top that wraps around the forearm and a handle on each one for the hand to grasp. Maxim's are now on order. He asked for silver ones and they should be ready on December 11.
The best part is that the evening after we had been to the specialists, Daniel and I were with the kids at a prayer meeting we enjoy attending on Wednesday nights. Enjoy is an understatement, actually. We have been soooooo refreshed and stretched at the same time by these gatherings of people who can testify to God's transforming power in their every day lives and pour the resulting exploding faith into prayer. Fervent effective prayer. Anyway, while we were there, listening to testimonies, Maxim just wanted to walk walk walk. I walked him as long as my back could stand but I finally had to sit down. While we sat there, listening to others, Maxim quietly slid down off his chair and, hanging on tightly to chairs and knees around him, he walked himself down the row from me to Daniel. Such an awesome thing to see. I really believe he is going to do much more, go much further, than many people think. Between God's healing love and Maxim's own persistence, his potential is incredible.
I believe Maxim will continue to be a testimony that God cannot be contained in our boxes.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
conformed
This a day like any other in that we're getting up, eating breakfast, preparing for work and school and some scattered afternoon appointments.
This is also a day like no other because by tonight we'll all see Maxim's new feet. The fruit of almost a year of castings, and surgery. Great anticipation.
This morning I'm thinking of the scripture that says how beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God Reigns!".
I'm thinking about the scriptures that call us to be conformed; transformed from head to toe, inside and out, by the One Whose love is perfect and Who is Almighty.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is; His good and pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the LORD's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit." II Corinthians 3:18
However God chooses to manifest healing in our lives, we get to be tools in His hand to proclaim the goods news, the peace, the One Who is salvation.
I think it's going to be really neat to see how Maxim's life continues to unfold. He will have such a testimony of God's generous mercy. We all will. May he stand on those two feet, always ready to give an answer for the hope that is in him, and ready to tell Who his help came from.
I will post pictures as soon as I can. We have no operating digital camera at the moment.
This is also a day like no other because by tonight we'll all see Maxim's new feet. The fruit of almost a year of castings, and surgery. Great anticipation.
This morning I'm thinking of the scripture that says how beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God Reigns!".
I'm thinking about the scriptures that call us to be conformed; transformed from head to toe, inside and out, by the One Whose love is perfect and Who is Almighty.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is; His good and pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the LORD's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit." II Corinthians 3:18
However God chooses to manifest healing in our lives, we get to be tools in His hand to proclaim the goods news, the peace, the One Who is salvation.
I think it's going to be really neat to see how Maxim's life continues to unfold. He will have such a testimony of God's generous mercy. We all will. May he stand on those two feet, always ready to give an answer for the hope that is in him, and ready to tell Who his help came from.
I will post pictures as soon as I can. We have no operating digital camera at the moment.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Walls and the Conquerer of Them All
Today is a milestone in many ways.
It is an anniversary of many things. Two stand out in my mind. One year ago today, Daniel and I had our first several hour visit with the little boy who would become our son. Our Maxim was just a little guy we'd met face to face for the first time only two days prior and we were off on the road to getting acquainted with him. It never occurred to us that anything would keep us from bringing him home. It never occurred to us how long it would take to accomplish the task. It was simply a matter of being set on a particular road by the Almighty and just walking it out with naive confidence. Weeks later, our faith would be tested and become a little wobbly because we were learning that the road God puts us on is not always comfortable. It's not always the neat little package of predictability we assumed we would receive. But one year ago today, we were just marvelling at Heavenly goodness and this charming little boy God connected us to. Who knew the bureaucratic walls of red tape we'd need to scale.
Today is also the anniversary of the crumbling of the Berlin Wall, that monstrous monument of the Cold War which divided and depleted and degraded countless families for years under the shadow of the Soviet Union. Twenty years ago, that wall came down.
In the summer of 1986, Daniel and I had just met as we traveled throughout Europe, and we found ourselves on an organized tour of the Bundestag, West Germany's parliament. Someone in our group asked the official leading the tour if he envisioned that the Iron Curtain would ever fall. He stated that he couldn't imagine such a thing happening in his lifetime.
Three years later, the wall came down.
Ten years after that, we brought our new son home from a former Soviet country.
Isn't it amazing how God brings down walls! He is powerful powerful powerful. He is merciful merciful merciful. Nothing nothing nothing is impossible for Him. He is the absolute Almighty. I know I have sung countless hymns and praise songs proclaiming this truth over the years but, honestly, I have not really taken it all the way to my core.
What's the "wall" in your life you haven't thought He can conquer? What's the thing you still believe is too big?
Yes, there will be unanswered questions. That's part of the faith road. We don't get to see the whole vision of what God is doing; every little detail. It would be too much for us to comprehend even if we could see it. Sometimes, because we don't have the entire scenario, from beginning to end, laid out in front of us, we begin to make assumptions and we well up with fear.
At the end of September, Maxim had to be recasted because the cast he had after having his club feet straightened just didn't fit quite right. He had had countless casts taken off and replaced over the last year, as I've mentioned before, but this time he was full of fear. Overwhelmed and terrified. I realized, after he was able to calm slightly and express himself, he had been thinking that when the casts came off he would have no feet. He thought they were gone. He had been running on faith for weeks, thinking his feet were going to be gone but Daniel and I seemed pretty cool and collected so it must be okay. But when it came to the moment where he might see for himself, he couldn't take it. Isn't it amazing that he would think such a thing?! Even more amazing that he was not visibly bothered by it at all until the day of the recasting. What a burden to be carrying all by himself! He didn't know the big picture; he assumed he did and he was overcome.
In our relationship with God, even though He is not going to give us the complete, down to every speck, blue print of what He is doing, we know from scripture that He is love and that what He as planned is better than anything we could ever imagine. Challenging, yes. Uncomfortable sometimes, definitely. Worth it? More than we can possibly know.
Maxim didn't know how to fully express what was on his mind as we approached the recasting in September. He didn't know how to ask for comfort, or if he should, for some reason. With God, we have the blessing of being able to ask Him for wisdom, peace, healing, patience, and all those things that make our journey bearable. Knowing we can commune with Him and He will incline (the image in scripture is like a daddy bending down to listen to his child) His ear to us, brings tremendous comfort along the way. We never have to carry the burden of uncertainty alone
Today, the last of Maxim's full length casts were removed. He was sedated so he didn't have to watch the process. When he woke up in the recovery room, he reached down with his hands to touch his legs. He has peered down many times to look at his toes and say "hello" again. His knees, which have been cooped up in casts for the majority of this year, are tender and will take time to regain strength and flexibility.
One wall of fear has collapsed on Maxim's road to recovery. Something deemed impossible by those around him at this time last year is now just around the corner; walking.
Nothing is impossible for the Heavenly Father.
Today, as we were driving home from the hospital, Maxim suddenly said, "Hey, God help Maxim today!" I replied, "You're right; did you tell Him thank you."? Immediately Maxim said Thank you Yahweh (God). Then he paused for a moment and said "God said You're Welcome."
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Back from the Brink
What a month this has been. Once again, writing has fallen by the wayside as we just make our way day to day.
The road after Maxim's last surgery has not been easy. It has reallllly humbled me but God is so merciful and kind.
Going into September, I had noticed in myself a lot more fatigue and having a harder time keeping a good attitude. Harder time being patient with the kids and it was coming out in ways that were not helpful to Maxim as he was dealing with his own discomfort and not sleeping well. Aware, as I said in the last post, that God is supplying us but just plain tired and not handling it in the most constructive ways.
Something about Maxim's surgery on his feet, which of course changed the location of the nerves in his feet along with everything else, made him hyper sensitive to all the new sensations. At first, it seems the cast on the left was to tight at the knee (these casts go all the way to the upper thigh, just like his original weekly casts did from February to May) so they had scored (slightly cracked) it down both sides to relieve pressure while we were still in the hospital. Then he began to be absolutely beside himself distracted with how his left foot was feeling. He insisted it did not hurt, but tickled or itched. I tried three different anti-itch ointments to no avail. He literally could not eat or sleep without touching/massaging his feet or having someone else do the same almost constantly. His appetite actually went down to nothing and it was becoming a point of battle which I didn't want it to be and yet he was just disappearing on us. More stressing was the fact that he wasn't loking forward to walking someday and doing whatever it took to get there. He even told Joel he didn't think God was helping him anymore.
That is a really scary place for someone you love to be. You can't make them believe God is with them and cares. They have to latch onto it for themselves, but Maxim had truly lost his resolve.
Finally, it clicked that he was just plain tired of the whole process (wouldn't any of us be after months and months in casts and multiple surgeries with painful recoveries) and most likely experiencing some different physical sensations either due to the new position of everything in his feet, and didn't know how to process it mentally or emotionally. So I called the specialist and explained what was going on.
On the 26th, Daniel came home from work to find me emotionally shot, Maxim in his bedroom crying uncontrollably and knew we had hit a wall, so to speak. Knowing that in my own physical and emotional fatigue I had to find some quiet time to cool down, I had put Maxim in his room to "cry it out". I know not everyone agrees with that idea and I did not do it with any of my other kids, but I knew that it was the best thing for both of us. God was going to have to speak into both our hearts separately before we'd mesh well together again.
So Daniel, knowing that I had had some time to pray and felt willing and eager to receive God's leading, sent me in our room with pen and paper to write in my prayer diary, while instructing our kids not to bother me and doing what he could to restore calm in Maxim.
God really spoke quiet, gentle but pointed, direction into my heart during the time. I wrote down the impressions He gave me about how no adoptive parent can make up for the time our child has lost before joining our family. Sometimes we have to set aside all of our well-intentioned ideas about how to parent that child and be willing to take a different course than expected. I felt that He spoke right to my heart about what Maxim actually needs versus what I thought he needed. He needs love, order, peace, opportunities to explore and observe, patience, reassurance that he does not have to be perfect. God reassured me that Maxim is very smart and he is going to do just fine catching up on academic basics in time. He does not me to invent some rigid regiment to "fix him" or make up for what he never had before. God spoke into my heart and mind that Maxim (and all of our children) belongs to Him, He has a perfect plan for him, and I need to stop behaving like the responsibility is all mine. I am just a simple tool in God's hands and if I get my pride out of the way and rest in that, things will fall into place.
By the time I came out of that prayer time, Daniel was at the dining table with Maxim finishing the homework I had asked him to do earlier and everything in the house was at peace.
I felt so humbled that we can be very burned out and truly not even recognize it. But God is so good to scoop us up and refresh us.
We were able to go in to Grand Rapids on September 29 and she recasted both sides. She also put Maxim on a different medication to calm his nerves overall so the new feelings would not be so overwhelming.
Let me tell you about the recasting first. It was really intense and so intriguing; I think it will help other dealing with reconstructive issues in their children.
After all the castings Maxim has already been through, he knows exactly what to expect when a cast is coming off. Basically the drill goes like this: pants come off but undies stay on, doctor/nurse gives Maxim headphones to protect his ears from the loud noise of the vibrating saw, the machine goes on and the cast is removed. The saw looks really scary, but the nurse always shows Maxim how she can put it on herself and not be cut. We always tell him if it starts to feel hot, that's when he needs to tell us "hot" and they'll take a break to let the "blade" cool. Soon the cast is off and his feet and legs get washed and new casts are put on.
This time was quite different. Maxim completely lost it crying and screaming desperately. I had propped him up a little so he could see, because he normally wants to watch the whole process. However, he was so upset this time, I pulled one side of the headphones away from his ear and asked if he was hurting. He said "No, scary scary scary." I asked if he still wanted to watch. He said yes but he really was so terrified, especially the closer they got to actually opening the casts and taking them off. I realized he was scared of what he was going to see. Of course he knew the doctor had opened his foot and helped him. That's all he understood but now was the time to see what that meant.
When the casts came off, he had to keep his feet very still because the pins are still in until November 9 and his knees were very tender at the slightest movement because joints are always that way after being locked up for long periods.
His feet look BEAUTIFUL! Straight and the incisions were clean and healing well. As soon as the new casts were on (Red and Orange), he was back to himself. He turned to Cyan who was next in line to see Dr. Reinhart (to repair ongoing issues in her right foot due to the CP) and said "Okay Cyan, your turn"
It has taken a couple of weeks since then, but through the prayers of people who have prayed for us, not even knowing fully what was going on, we have greater peace and optimism back again. Maxim is full of such a great attitude and confidence again, excited to try new things, sleeping better, etc.
Through many prayers and through a very refreshing time away from home celebrating Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles) in Missouri with many old and new friends, God has brought such comfort back to us. Thank You Father!!!! And, of course, that appointment to be recasted right before our trip helped tremendously. Maxim's specialist was so quick to see what he needed and accomodate him. These were terrific blessings over the last couple of weeks. Maxim really enjoyed his very first Sukkot as we had hoped.
We are just three weeks now from getting these last casts off (November 9). During the sedation, Maxim will also be fitted for his very first leg braces to support him as he learns to walk. He will be starting physical therapy by December, so this is a really exciting time. Demanding, challenging, but absolutely worth it if we're keeping our eyes on the big picture.
Maxim, as you prepare to stand on your own two feet for the first time very soon, don't forget the words to the song all the little children learned at the Feast this year: Thy Word is a Lamp Unto My Feet
And a Light Unto My Path
The true Redeemer of the years the locusts have eaten is with you. Walk on.
The road after Maxim's last surgery has not been easy. It has reallllly humbled me but God is so merciful and kind.
Going into September, I had noticed in myself a lot more fatigue and having a harder time keeping a good attitude. Harder time being patient with the kids and it was coming out in ways that were not helpful to Maxim as he was dealing with his own discomfort and not sleeping well. Aware, as I said in the last post, that God is supplying us but just plain tired and not handling it in the most constructive ways.
Something about Maxim's surgery on his feet, which of course changed the location of the nerves in his feet along with everything else, made him hyper sensitive to all the new sensations. At first, it seems the cast on the left was to tight at the knee (these casts go all the way to the upper thigh, just like his original weekly casts did from February to May) so they had scored (slightly cracked) it down both sides to relieve pressure while we were still in the hospital. Then he began to be absolutely beside himself distracted with how his left foot was feeling. He insisted it did not hurt, but tickled or itched. I tried three different anti-itch ointments to no avail. He literally could not eat or sleep without touching/massaging his feet or having someone else do the same almost constantly. His appetite actually went down to nothing and it was becoming a point of battle which I didn't want it to be and yet he was just disappearing on us. More stressing was the fact that he wasn't loking forward to walking someday and doing whatever it took to get there. He even told Joel he didn't think God was helping him anymore.
That is a really scary place for someone you love to be. You can't make them believe God is with them and cares. They have to latch onto it for themselves, but Maxim had truly lost his resolve.
Finally, it clicked that he was just plain tired of the whole process (wouldn't any of us be after months and months in casts and multiple surgeries with painful recoveries) and most likely experiencing some different physical sensations either due to the new position of everything in his feet, and didn't know how to process it mentally or emotionally. So I called the specialist and explained what was going on.
On the 26th, Daniel came home from work to find me emotionally shot, Maxim in his bedroom crying uncontrollably and knew we had hit a wall, so to speak. Knowing that in my own physical and emotional fatigue I had to find some quiet time to cool down, I had put Maxim in his room to "cry it out". I know not everyone agrees with that idea and I did not do it with any of my other kids, but I knew that it was the best thing for both of us. God was going to have to speak into both our hearts separately before we'd mesh well together again.
So Daniel, knowing that I had had some time to pray and felt willing and eager to receive God's leading, sent me in our room with pen and paper to write in my prayer diary, while instructing our kids not to bother me and doing what he could to restore calm in Maxim.
God really spoke quiet, gentle but pointed, direction into my heart during the time. I wrote down the impressions He gave me about how no adoptive parent can make up for the time our child has lost before joining our family. Sometimes we have to set aside all of our well-intentioned ideas about how to parent that child and be willing to take a different course than expected. I felt that He spoke right to my heart about what Maxim actually needs versus what I thought he needed. He needs love, order, peace, opportunities to explore and observe, patience, reassurance that he does not have to be perfect. God reassured me that Maxim is very smart and he is going to do just fine catching up on academic basics in time. He does not me to invent some rigid regiment to "fix him" or make up for what he never had before. God spoke into my heart and mind that Maxim (and all of our children) belongs to Him, He has a perfect plan for him, and I need to stop behaving like the responsibility is all mine. I am just a simple tool in God's hands and if I get my pride out of the way and rest in that, things will fall into place.
By the time I came out of that prayer time, Daniel was at the dining table with Maxim finishing the homework I had asked him to do earlier and everything in the house was at peace.
I felt so humbled that we can be very burned out and truly not even recognize it. But God is so good to scoop us up and refresh us.
We were able to go in to Grand Rapids on September 29 and she recasted both sides. She also put Maxim on a different medication to calm his nerves overall so the new feelings would not be so overwhelming.
Let me tell you about the recasting first. It was really intense and so intriguing; I think it will help other dealing with reconstructive issues in their children.
After all the castings Maxim has already been through, he knows exactly what to expect when a cast is coming off. Basically the drill goes like this: pants come off but undies stay on, doctor/nurse gives Maxim headphones to protect his ears from the loud noise of the vibrating saw, the machine goes on and the cast is removed. The saw looks really scary, but the nurse always shows Maxim how she can put it on herself and not be cut. We always tell him if it starts to feel hot, that's when he needs to tell us "hot" and they'll take a break to let the "blade" cool. Soon the cast is off and his feet and legs get washed and new casts are put on.
This time was quite different. Maxim completely lost it crying and screaming desperately. I had propped him up a little so he could see, because he normally wants to watch the whole process. However, he was so upset this time, I pulled one side of the headphones away from his ear and asked if he was hurting. He said "No, scary scary scary." I asked if he still wanted to watch. He said yes but he really was so terrified, especially the closer they got to actually opening the casts and taking them off. I realized he was scared of what he was going to see. Of course he knew the doctor had opened his foot and helped him. That's all he understood but now was the time to see what that meant.
When the casts came off, he had to keep his feet very still because the pins are still in until November 9 and his knees were very tender at the slightest movement because joints are always that way after being locked up for long periods.
His feet look BEAUTIFUL! Straight and the incisions were clean and healing well. As soon as the new casts were on (Red and Orange), he was back to himself. He turned to Cyan who was next in line to see Dr. Reinhart (to repair ongoing issues in her right foot due to the CP) and said "Okay Cyan, your turn"
It has taken a couple of weeks since then, but through the prayers of people who have prayed for us, not even knowing fully what was going on, we have greater peace and optimism back again. Maxim is full of such a great attitude and confidence again, excited to try new things, sleeping better, etc.
Through many prayers and through a very refreshing time away from home celebrating Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles) in Missouri with many old and new friends, God has brought such comfort back to us. Thank You Father!!!! And, of course, that appointment to be recasted right before our trip helped tremendously. Maxim's specialist was so quick to see what he needed and accomodate him. These were terrific blessings over the last couple of weeks. Maxim really enjoyed his very first Sukkot as we had hoped.
We are just three weeks now from getting these last casts off (November 9). During the sedation, Maxim will also be fitted for his very first leg braces to support him as he learns to walk. He will be starting physical therapy by December, so this is a really exciting time. Demanding, challenging, but absolutely worth it if we're keeping our eyes on the big picture.
Maxim, as you prepare to stand on your own two feet for the first time very soon, don't forget the words to the song all the little children learned at the Feast this year: Thy Word is a Lamp Unto My Feet
And a Light Unto My Path
The true Redeemer of the years the locusts have eaten is with you. Walk on.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sorry to be so delayed in updating. What a busy, exciting, draining, invigorating, challenging time this has been. Yes, all of those words are appropriate.
On the 11th, I headed to Grand Rapids with Maxim. We arrived at Devos Childrens Hospital at 6:50, ten minutes late technically, but really with plenty of time for signing in and getting prepped for surgery.
Dr. Reinhart came to the surgical waiting area about twenty minutes before the scheduled start time of 8:30 to just go over the details one more time. She said to anticipate at least four hours, maybe even up to six, depending on what they encountered in Maxim's feet. She said that her partner, Dr. Hotchkiss, was confident that they could even be finished in three, but she was not confident in this at all.
Well, just shy of three hours after the surgery began, it was finished. Dr. Reinhart came out and said that in the operating room, Dr. Hotchkiss convinced her to bet on the time in which they could complete the work. She lost and now owes him a Chinese dinner. I am not alarmed at having our doctors doing things like betting how fast they can complete a surgery. It was not a race. It was one doctor's level of confidence, based on more years of experience, over another's. Also, an indicator that they can keep a relaxed light heart while they work, which is not a bad thing.
Maxim requested glow in the dark casts again and once again enjoys seeing those when the lights go out at night.
Recovery has not been a piece of cake by any means but better in a few ways than his hip surgery in May. Overall, his appetite was better right away, although we still desire that he will consistently eat enough to start gaining weight. His weight is still not even a pound more than when we brought him home in January.
His digestion is better too than last time. These strong pain medications are generally extremely constipating and he really struggled with that in May. This time, he was almost back to normal the day we brought him home.
We were admitted on Friday the 11th and came home on Monday the 14th.
Not being able to come home on Sunday was discouraging because we knew Daniel would have to leave for business in Virginia on Monday and be gone most of the week. No fun to come home from the hospital and not see Papa. Also, Brina and Joel were starting some new co-op classes in a new challenging setting on Monday morning and I had really wanted to be there to encourage them (Cyan spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa's house, doing homework and witnessing the production of their amazing applesauce). Grandma and Grandpa and Great Uncle Roy ended up being chauffeurs for Brina and Joel (thank you every one of you for pitching in that day).
Anyway, just having the majority of us together again was great. Daniel and left me a really silly hand made card of encouragement and the kids had made welcome home cards for Maxim and/or me, and left Little Debbie oatmeal creme pies out for each of us.
On the way home from the hospital, I told Maxim we would stop at a store and I would let him pick out two helium balloons to enjoy. Three stores later, we found a place that actually carried them and had a working machine for blowing them up. I had told Maxim he could pick ANY two, so we came home with a giant Winnie the Pooh head and a huge multi-colored umbrella that says Happy Baby Shower on it. Too funny. I guess it's fitting since we didn't know Maxim as a baby and missed the typical festivities that go with preparing for a biological son or daughter.
Here are a few things to help others going into the surgery/recovery experience:
1) pray pray pray before the day
2) get good sleep before the day; hospitals are NOISY; not restful places at all
3) take more toiletries/changes of underwear than you think you need
4) bring things you like to do to pass the time when your child is in surgery and during rest times in the days before you go home.
5) bring things you think your child might enjoy doing to pass the time during those first days after surgery. Sometimes the pain will be such that they just won't be able to really focus well on other things. Sometimes they will be too groggy from medications. However, there will be times when they are alert and ready (they'll let you know) and certain activities can be terrific distractions from discomfort and pain.
puzzles, coloring books, magnetic board games,DVD/CD's from home
Even now that we are home, I find night is the worst time for Maxim. During the day, his mind is on different activities he's is involved or helping/watching others. For example, yesterday he was busy with a Veggie Tales movie, helping make bread and wind yarn, going to Walmart for a few things we needed to prepare for Sukkot, building with Legos, etc. He didn't really have time to think about his legs/feet for the most part.
At night, however, when he is just lying there waiting for sleep to come, every little discomfort, itch, pain in keenly noticed. The timing of his pain meds is better balanced now and he is feeling more independently mobile again so this helps, in that pain is better managed and when he does feel uncomfortable, he knows to get himself into another position he likes instead of being solely at the mercy of what I think he might need.
Two other things to think about if you're on a similar journey with your child or any loved one:
1) I can't emphasize enough, do what you have to do as the caretaker to stay healthy. Sometimes as parents/caretakers, we are so busy attending to someone else's very really needs, we don't think about our own valid requirements for strength and a sound mind. So make yourself sit down, make yourself get the exercise you need, eat real meals (not just quick maybe not so healthy snacks). If you let yourself wear down, it will show up in lack of patience, mindless decision making, and general fatigue.
2) pay close attention to how prescriptions are written out, filled, and labelled. We almost couldn't get refills for Maxim the other day because the original pharmacy noted they had given us a ten day supply when it was actually only 5 1/2.
One really neat thing that makes all of this craziness, pain, stress, worth it (not that I want Maxim to have to go through this or wish it on anyone else) is our awareness that God is teaching us very specific lessons right now in faith, prayer and healing. He is obviously aware of what we're going through and is supplying our needs, as a family and as individuals.
The other night, Cyan was feeling terrible with the flu. Tired, congested, sore throat and violently upset stomach. She had asked me to pray for her so I went into the living room. Maxim was there as well, and when I held Cyan's hand and began to pray, Maxim came over and took her hand as well. When I finished praying, he asked if he could too. I didn't discourage this, but I expected his typical thank you list prayer for every item he has noticed or learned about on a particular day. However, he prayed a very sweet prayer specifically for God to help Cyan feel better and he also thanked God for helping his feet. Wow! How neat to see that milestone of growth in his prayer life and thinking about the needs of others.
Surgeries is no fun. Shy of the miracles we believe in coming to pass, there are more down the road. We so desire Maxim to not have this road but it is his right now. He has a family around him to share it with. Not with perfect skill or attitude at every moment but we are there for him. To adjust his pillows one more time. To carry him to the bathroom. To tip things and lift things at odd angles so he can see and participate, whatever it takes. To give the pain medicines every four hours. To pretend his stuffed dog Lucy needs medicine too and to be turned on her back like him. Etc. To keep praying out loud for him and anointing him with oil and speaking hope and vision into his life.
God is using what Maxim needs to remind us what we all need. Healing of body, mind and spirit from the Only One Who can supply. Maxim is learning to thank God for the little things, and pray boldly for the big things. This happens to be what God is teaching our whole household right now.
So all the words at the beginning of this post fit.
On the 11th, I headed to Grand Rapids with Maxim. We arrived at Devos Childrens Hospital at 6:50, ten minutes late technically, but really with plenty of time for signing in and getting prepped for surgery.
Dr. Reinhart came to the surgical waiting area about twenty minutes before the scheduled start time of 8:30 to just go over the details one more time. She said to anticipate at least four hours, maybe even up to six, depending on what they encountered in Maxim's feet. She said that her partner, Dr. Hotchkiss, was confident that they could even be finished in three, but she was not confident in this at all.
Well, just shy of three hours after the surgery began, it was finished. Dr. Reinhart came out and said that in the operating room, Dr. Hotchkiss convinced her to bet on the time in which they could complete the work. She lost and now owes him a Chinese dinner. I am not alarmed at having our doctors doing things like betting how fast they can complete a surgery. It was not a race. It was one doctor's level of confidence, based on more years of experience, over another's. Also, an indicator that they can keep a relaxed light heart while they work, which is not a bad thing.
Maxim requested glow in the dark casts again and once again enjoys seeing those when the lights go out at night.
Recovery has not been a piece of cake by any means but better in a few ways than his hip surgery in May. Overall, his appetite was better right away, although we still desire that he will consistently eat enough to start gaining weight. His weight is still not even a pound more than when we brought him home in January.
His digestion is better too than last time. These strong pain medications are generally extremely constipating and he really struggled with that in May. This time, he was almost back to normal the day we brought him home.
We were admitted on Friday the 11th and came home on Monday the 14th.
Not being able to come home on Sunday was discouraging because we knew Daniel would have to leave for business in Virginia on Monday and be gone most of the week. No fun to come home from the hospital and not see Papa. Also, Brina and Joel were starting some new co-op classes in a new challenging setting on Monday morning and I had really wanted to be there to encourage them (Cyan spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa's house, doing homework and witnessing the production of their amazing applesauce). Grandma and Grandpa and Great Uncle Roy ended up being chauffeurs for Brina and Joel (thank you every one of you for pitching in that day).
Anyway, just having the majority of us together again was great. Daniel and left me a really silly hand made card of encouragement and the kids had made welcome home cards for Maxim and/or me, and left Little Debbie oatmeal creme pies out for each of us.
On the way home from the hospital, I told Maxim we would stop at a store and I would let him pick out two helium balloons to enjoy. Three stores later, we found a place that actually carried them and had a working machine for blowing them up. I had told Maxim he could pick ANY two, so we came home with a giant Winnie the Pooh head and a huge multi-colored umbrella that says Happy Baby Shower on it. Too funny. I guess it's fitting since we didn't know Maxim as a baby and missed the typical festivities that go with preparing for a biological son or daughter.
Here are a few things to help others going into the surgery/recovery experience:
1) pray pray pray before the day
2) get good sleep before the day; hospitals are NOISY; not restful places at all
3) take more toiletries/changes of underwear than you think you need
4) bring things you like to do to pass the time when your child is in surgery and during rest times in the days before you go home.
5) bring things you think your child might enjoy doing to pass the time during those first days after surgery. Sometimes the pain will be such that they just won't be able to really focus well on other things. Sometimes they will be too groggy from medications. However, there will be times when they are alert and ready (they'll let you know) and certain activities can be terrific distractions from discomfort and pain.
puzzles, coloring books, magnetic board games,DVD/CD's from home
Even now that we are home, I find night is the worst time for Maxim. During the day, his mind is on different activities he's is involved or helping/watching others. For example, yesterday he was busy with a Veggie Tales movie, helping make bread and wind yarn, going to Walmart for a few things we needed to prepare for Sukkot, building with Legos, etc. He didn't really have time to think about his legs/feet for the most part.
At night, however, when he is just lying there waiting for sleep to come, every little discomfort, itch, pain in keenly noticed. The timing of his pain meds is better balanced now and he is feeling more independently mobile again so this helps, in that pain is better managed and when he does feel uncomfortable, he knows to get himself into another position he likes instead of being solely at the mercy of what I think he might need.
Two other things to think about if you're on a similar journey with your child or any loved one:
1) I can't emphasize enough, do what you have to do as the caretaker to stay healthy. Sometimes as parents/caretakers, we are so busy attending to someone else's very really needs, we don't think about our own valid requirements for strength and a sound mind. So make yourself sit down, make yourself get the exercise you need, eat real meals (not just quick maybe not so healthy snacks). If you let yourself wear down, it will show up in lack of patience, mindless decision making, and general fatigue.
2) pay close attention to how prescriptions are written out, filled, and labelled. We almost couldn't get refills for Maxim the other day because the original pharmacy noted they had given us a ten day supply when it was actually only 5 1/2.
One really neat thing that makes all of this craziness, pain, stress, worth it (not that I want Maxim to have to go through this or wish it on anyone else) is our awareness that God is teaching us very specific lessons right now in faith, prayer and healing. He is obviously aware of what we're going through and is supplying our needs, as a family and as individuals.
The other night, Cyan was feeling terrible with the flu. Tired, congested, sore throat and violently upset stomach. She had asked me to pray for her so I went into the living room. Maxim was there as well, and when I held Cyan's hand and began to pray, Maxim came over and took her hand as well. When I finished praying, he asked if he could too. I didn't discourage this, but I expected his typical thank you list prayer for every item he has noticed or learned about on a particular day. However, he prayed a very sweet prayer specifically for God to help Cyan feel better and he also thanked God for helping his feet. Wow! How neat to see that milestone of growth in his prayer life and thinking about the needs of others.
Surgeries is no fun. Shy of the miracles we believe in coming to pass, there are more down the road. We so desire Maxim to not have this road but it is his right now. He has a family around him to share it with. Not with perfect skill or attitude at every moment but we are there for him. To adjust his pillows one more time. To carry him to the bathroom. To tip things and lift things at odd angles so he can see and participate, whatever it takes. To give the pain medicines every four hours. To pretend his stuffed dog Lucy needs medicine too and to be turned on her back like him. Etc. To keep praying out loud for him and anointing him with oil and speaking hope and vision into his life.
God is using what Maxim needs to remind us what we all need. Healing of body, mind and spirit from the Only One Who can supply. Maxim is learning to thank God for the little things, and pray boldly for the big things. This happens to be what God is teaching our whole household right now.
So all the words at the beginning of this post fit.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Ready for Miracles
Dear God,
Give me the strength to be present at my child's pain.
Help me to have faith in his competence.
Help me to be honest with him.
Help me to convey the confidence I have in him.
Spare me the necessity of using force.
Keep me from denying or minimizing what he is experiencing.
Don't let me abandon him in any way because of my own fear and weakness.
Don't let me be overpowered by my frustration and feelings of helplessness.
Remind me that pain is survivable.
Remind me that he knows that I would not permit this if it were not necessary.
Help me bear my suffering with strength, dignity, and honesty and so provide an example that will calm and reassure him.
Remind me that my touch, my smell, my presence are all to him.
Help me to stay here beside him.
Amen.
This was the prayer on another mom, Christine's, blog this morning. It is the perfect encouragement going into Maxim's surgery tomorrow morning. I have so wanted to teach Maxim, as with all my kids, not to be a whiner for no good reason. At the same time, I obviously need to exercise patience and compassion because his journey does include some real pain and discomfort during and after surgeries and therapy.
I don't want to minimize, or blow off, his real need for comforting and encouragment along the way. When a child is disabled, there is an extra challenge that affects the entire household; how to attend to the real needs without making that needy child the center of everything.
Last night, Daniel and I took Cyan and Maxim to a prayer meeting with a group of people who are, like many believers, striving to more fully understand listening to God and nurturing a true two-way communing with Him. Deepening our belief that this is even possible because of the shed blood of Christ affects the confidence and boldness with which we pray. Scripture dictates that we pray without ceasing and without doubt. Hearing the testimonies of others who have experienced God's working in their lives in response to prayer helps us grow in our prayer life.
Anyway, by the time we went to the meeting, I have to admit I was feeling completely spent emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Being fatigued in any of these areas makes praying effectively a challenge.
I learned that when we are tired, we need to be in fellowship with others who are not at the moment. As others prayed for Maxim and Cyan, I realized that they were sensitive at that time to things I was not thinking to pray for because my energy has been stretched in too many directions lately. It was such a relief to hear how God was leading them to lift up certain aspects of our children's lives, even though we had never met before last week. They prayed what needed to be prayed, not because they personally knew us so well, but because they were responding to God's leading of what to lift up for His care.
We are not going to Grand Rapids tomorrow alone. We are going there with the Most High as our High Tower of Strength, Strong Refuge and Healer. It is His will to reveal Himself in places where He has been forgotten or never acknowledged at all. Wouldn't it be amazing if it were in a hospital through the feet of a little boy named Maxim!?
Give me the strength to be present at my child's pain.
Help me to have faith in his competence.
Help me to be honest with him.
Help me to convey the confidence I have in him.
Spare me the necessity of using force.
Keep me from denying or minimizing what he is experiencing.
Don't let me abandon him in any way because of my own fear and weakness.
Don't let me be overpowered by my frustration and feelings of helplessness.
Remind me that pain is survivable.
Remind me that he knows that I would not permit this if it were not necessary.
Help me bear my suffering with strength, dignity, and honesty and so provide an example that will calm and reassure him.
Remind me that my touch, my smell, my presence are all to him.
Help me to stay here beside him.
Amen.
This was the prayer on another mom, Christine's, blog this morning. It is the perfect encouragement going into Maxim's surgery tomorrow morning. I have so wanted to teach Maxim, as with all my kids, not to be a whiner for no good reason. At the same time, I obviously need to exercise patience and compassion because his journey does include some real pain and discomfort during and after surgeries and therapy.
I don't want to minimize, or blow off, his real need for comforting and encouragment along the way. When a child is disabled, there is an extra challenge that affects the entire household; how to attend to the real needs without making that needy child the center of everything.
Last night, Daniel and I took Cyan and Maxim to a prayer meeting with a group of people who are, like many believers, striving to more fully understand listening to God and nurturing a true two-way communing with Him. Deepening our belief that this is even possible because of the shed blood of Christ affects the confidence and boldness with which we pray. Scripture dictates that we pray without ceasing and without doubt. Hearing the testimonies of others who have experienced God's working in their lives in response to prayer helps us grow in our prayer life.
Anyway, by the time we went to the meeting, I have to admit I was feeling completely spent emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Being fatigued in any of these areas makes praying effectively a challenge.
I learned that when we are tired, we need to be in fellowship with others who are not at the moment. As others prayed for Maxim and Cyan, I realized that they were sensitive at that time to things I was not thinking to pray for because my energy has been stretched in too many directions lately. It was such a relief to hear how God was leading them to lift up certain aspects of our children's lives, even though we had never met before last week. They prayed what needed to be prayed, not because they personally knew us so well, but because they were responding to God's leading of what to lift up for His care.
We are not going to Grand Rapids tomorrow alone. We are going there with the Most High as our High Tower of Strength, Strong Refuge and Healer. It is His will to reveal Himself in places where He has been forgotten or never acknowledged at all. Wouldn't it be amazing if it were in a hospital through the feet of a little boy named Maxim!?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Anticipation
August is fast coming to a close. In less than a week, the kids and I will be headed home to Michigan. We are enjoying the time here in Washington State with my parents and siblings, but know that there's a lot to look forward to when we're home.
The day after we return, Maxim has his first appointment with his specialist since July 14. He has had such terrific freedom outside any casts since then, but according to the plan, he will again be casted from just over the knee to his toes starting September 1. Then they will do the surgery to correct his feet on the September 11. I will definitely take more pictures of his feet just before that so we can make good comparisons later. After the surgery, the doctor has said we should anticipate between 8 and 10 weeks in casts of some sort, so it will be awhile before we can see the results.
Please pray about Maxim's range of motion specifically. During these pasts many weeks outside casts, he has been able to regain strength in his abs which was lost during his recovery from hip surgery in May, and range of motion in his knees and hips has really improved with the physical therapy and just ability to move more anyway. Once he goes into the casts again in September, his knees will suffer from being locked up for a while. His future walking is not just dependent on correcting his feet; the strength/flexibility of his hips and knees are also crucial.
We are also anticipating a really challenging but exciting school year. Cyan has asked for more challenge in her academics which I'm so glad she is feeling driven toward. It will be a test for all of us, because certain things are really tough for her without extra effort anyway; physically and academically. So this year we'll be starting earlier each day and likely going later into the afternoon so that she can take in more subjects and really be stretched as she desires. One of her greatest obstacles to academics is that she reads extremely slowly for her age (17).
I'm interested in any input in resources that will allow her to listen to text rather than having to read the typical textbook for every subject. She loves to read but it takes so long that it is not a practical approach for all of her schooling. Can any of you suggest resources that are appropriate for middle school/high school level learning but based on audio?
Brina is looking forward to orchestra once again. She will not hear until after August 26th whether or not she made it into symphony orchestra or not, since some students will not have auditioned until then. Hard to wait. We're excited to see what she'll do. She is also taking the fiddle class again. One exciting sideline is that she and I have been able to work on some my own compositions together lately. I arranged a part for her so we can play together (me on piano) and present a particular piece at Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles - see Leviticus 23 and Galatians 3:26-29).
Joel is also preparing for band this year. In addition to concert band, which he thoroughly enjoyed last year, he will also be participating in brass choir again and is hoping to be included in the Big Band ensemble as well. In the latter, he will attend the first couple of weeks of class and that will be considered his audition. After that the director will consider each players skill and decide who will continue. This will be a great challenge and privilege for Joel to even be considered. Even if Joel is chosen based on his musical skill, we will still have to find out when the outside commitments are scheduled (such as festivals and competiitons) since we will not want to compromise on our commitment to Sabbath. We always trust that if God has given us any talent at all, in any area of our life, He will also provide a way/place to use it for His glory without compromising any other area that He has commanded us in. We have been convicted on the issue of the seventh day being the Sabbath, set aside and holy and not to be blurred with other things in life. A day of delight, no doubt, but not one to purposely pursue things for our own gain. Soooooo, may Joel and all of our kids have many wonderful and rich opportunities to grow in their God-given abilities, and may God give us wisdom to see which opportunities will truly allow us to honor Him more fully.
I am still a little up in the air as far as how to approach Maxim's schooling this year. His comprehensive skills in English are amazing after being home for almost eight month now, and expressive has come a long way as well. Being in a very structured group setting even a couple of times a week would be really good for him socially and academically but I haven't found the right place yet. There is an excellent program that our other kids participated in a few years back; a co-op school, just on Thursdays. Homeschool moms, who also happen to be certified teachers, lead classes for kids K-8, all day, and then assign homework for the week. It's really a neat program and I think Maxim would do very well except for the fact that this program uses space at a church which is quite old and the classrooms are not handicap accessible. I would have to stay there all day on Thursday to remain available for getting Maxim from one class/activity to another since he does not yet have a wheelchair to take himself and it's not accessible anyway. Sooooo, I want him to have that group opportunity but can't commit an entire day of the week of my own time comfortably. Maybe there is a way to accomplish it that I'm just not recognizing at this point. Anyway, the challenge in homeschooling is to make sure each student is adequately stretched in their learning (actually developing a love of learning hopefully) while maintaining the strength and integrity and peace of the family. Again, I have to trust God to lead.
Brina and Joel will have the added challenge this year of a program called College Plus. It is available to anyone, but a wonderful tool in the home school community for sure. Basically, it allows students, starting at as young as 13, to thoroughly prepare for and then test out as many college level courses as possible. There are certain colleges and universities that will accept any of these positive test scores as credit for those particular courses. By reading all of the required texts and then testing out our courses, rather than actually enrolling in college on a campus and sitting through classes, students can save a great deal of time and money while pursuing college degrees. By the time they are finishing high school, they will also be finishing an Associates Degree. At that point, they can continue to complete their Bachelors through College Plus, enroll directly to certain colleges/universities as distance learning students, or apply to finish their schooling on campus somewhere, with their completed course credits transferred there.
It will add some great incentive this year to be especially structured and wise in how we use our time and help each other stay balanced.
Once we are home from Michigan, it will be just a month until Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles). It is such a special time of year for us. We enjoy traveling to different places and renewing acquaintances from past years as we celebrate. It is eight days of studying the scriptures, singing, dancing in worship, teaching the children, and just enjoying the company of others who desire to celebrate these times set aside by the Heavenly Father. We see each of the holy days (Sabbaths) set aside in the scriptures, as gifts from Him so that we are continually reminded, all through the year of Who we belong to and that He has an amazing plan for His children. The Sabbaths are simply weekly and annual markers for His people as we wait for Christ's return. Sukkot is the joyful culmination of the year's holy times, set at a harvest time so we see all around us the evidence of crops sowed and now reaped, and pictures the time when Christ completes the ultimate harvest which we want to be included in, along with those we cherish. It is a time to look forward to finally being in complete reconciled fellowship with the Heavenly Father and Christ our King. No more tears. No more dying. No more mourning. A time when full healing has taken place for all and we are rejoicing with Him. Isn't it amazing to confidently look forward to that, even with all the craziness of our present world. We are His, so there is hope.
Anyway, this is our upcoming year in a very large nutshell. May you blessed as you plan ahead for your households too. May His peace, wisdom, strength, and clear leading be evident to you and your families as we all press on.
The day after we return, Maxim has his first appointment with his specialist since July 14. He has had such terrific freedom outside any casts since then, but according to the plan, he will again be casted from just over the knee to his toes starting September 1. Then they will do the surgery to correct his feet on the September 11. I will definitely take more pictures of his feet just before that so we can make good comparisons later. After the surgery, the doctor has said we should anticipate between 8 and 10 weeks in casts of some sort, so it will be awhile before we can see the results.
Please pray about Maxim's range of motion specifically. During these pasts many weeks outside casts, he has been able to regain strength in his abs which was lost during his recovery from hip surgery in May, and range of motion in his knees and hips has really improved with the physical therapy and just ability to move more anyway. Once he goes into the casts again in September, his knees will suffer from being locked up for a while. His future walking is not just dependent on correcting his feet; the strength/flexibility of his hips and knees are also crucial.
We are also anticipating a really challenging but exciting school year. Cyan has asked for more challenge in her academics which I'm so glad she is feeling driven toward. It will be a test for all of us, because certain things are really tough for her without extra effort anyway; physically and academically. So this year we'll be starting earlier each day and likely going later into the afternoon so that she can take in more subjects and really be stretched as she desires. One of her greatest obstacles to academics is that she reads extremely slowly for her age (17).
I'm interested in any input in resources that will allow her to listen to text rather than having to read the typical textbook for every subject. She loves to read but it takes so long that it is not a practical approach for all of her schooling. Can any of you suggest resources that are appropriate for middle school/high school level learning but based on audio?
Brina is looking forward to orchestra once again. She will not hear until after August 26th whether or not she made it into symphony orchestra or not, since some students will not have auditioned until then. Hard to wait. We're excited to see what she'll do. She is also taking the fiddle class again. One exciting sideline is that she and I have been able to work on some my own compositions together lately. I arranged a part for her so we can play together (me on piano) and present a particular piece at Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles - see Leviticus 23 and Galatians 3:26-29).
Joel is also preparing for band this year. In addition to concert band, which he thoroughly enjoyed last year, he will also be participating in brass choir again and is hoping to be included in the Big Band ensemble as well. In the latter, he will attend the first couple of weeks of class and that will be considered his audition. After that the director will consider each players skill and decide who will continue. This will be a great challenge and privilege for Joel to even be considered. Even if Joel is chosen based on his musical skill, we will still have to find out when the outside commitments are scheduled (such as festivals and competiitons) since we will not want to compromise on our commitment to Sabbath. We always trust that if God has given us any talent at all, in any area of our life, He will also provide a way/place to use it for His glory without compromising any other area that He has commanded us in. We have been convicted on the issue of the seventh day being the Sabbath, set aside and holy and not to be blurred with other things in life. A day of delight, no doubt, but not one to purposely pursue things for our own gain. Soooooo, may Joel and all of our kids have many wonderful and rich opportunities to grow in their God-given abilities, and may God give us wisdom to see which opportunities will truly allow us to honor Him more fully.
I am still a little up in the air as far as how to approach Maxim's schooling this year. His comprehensive skills in English are amazing after being home for almost eight month now, and expressive has come a long way as well. Being in a very structured group setting even a couple of times a week would be really good for him socially and academically but I haven't found the right place yet. There is an excellent program that our other kids participated in a few years back; a co-op school, just on Thursdays. Homeschool moms, who also happen to be certified teachers, lead classes for kids K-8, all day, and then assign homework for the week. It's really a neat program and I think Maxim would do very well except for the fact that this program uses space at a church which is quite old and the classrooms are not handicap accessible. I would have to stay there all day on Thursday to remain available for getting Maxim from one class/activity to another since he does not yet have a wheelchair to take himself and it's not accessible anyway. Sooooo, I want him to have that group opportunity but can't commit an entire day of the week of my own time comfortably. Maybe there is a way to accomplish it that I'm just not recognizing at this point. Anyway, the challenge in homeschooling is to make sure each student is adequately stretched in their learning (actually developing a love of learning hopefully) while maintaining the strength and integrity and peace of the family. Again, I have to trust God to lead.
Brina and Joel will have the added challenge this year of a program called College Plus. It is available to anyone, but a wonderful tool in the home school community for sure. Basically, it allows students, starting at as young as 13, to thoroughly prepare for and then test out as many college level courses as possible. There are certain colleges and universities that will accept any of these positive test scores as credit for those particular courses. By reading all of the required texts and then testing out our courses, rather than actually enrolling in college on a campus and sitting through classes, students can save a great deal of time and money while pursuing college degrees. By the time they are finishing high school, they will also be finishing an Associates Degree. At that point, they can continue to complete their Bachelors through College Plus, enroll directly to certain colleges/universities as distance learning students, or apply to finish their schooling on campus somewhere, with their completed course credits transferred there.
It will add some great incentive this year to be especially structured and wise in how we use our time and help each other stay balanced.
Once we are home from Michigan, it will be just a month until Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles). It is such a special time of year for us. We enjoy traveling to different places and renewing acquaintances from past years as we celebrate. It is eight days of studying the scriptures, singing, dancing in worship, teaching the children, and just enjoying the company of others who desire to celebrate these times set aside by the Heavenly Father. We see each of the holy days (Sabbaths) set aside in the scriptures, as gifts from Him so that we are continually reminded, all through the year of Who we belong to and that He has an amazing plan for His children. The Sabbaths are simply weekly and annual markers for His people as we wait for Christ's return. Sukkot is the joyful culmination of the year's holy times, set at a harvest time so we see all around us the evidence of crops sowed and now reaped, and pictures the time when Christ completes the ultimate harvest which we want to be included in, along with those we cherish. It is a time to look forward to finally being in complete reconciled fellowship with the Heavenly Father and Christ our King. No more tears. No more dying. No more mourning. A time when full healing has taken place for all and we are rejoicing with Him. Isn't it amazing to confidently look forward to that, even with all the craziness of our present world. We are His, so there is hope.
Anyway, this is our upcoming year in a very large nutshell. May you blessed as you plan ahead for your households too. May His peace, wisdom, strength, and clear leading be evident to you and your families as we all press on.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
More Travel Pics
Browsing At the Poulsbo Arts Festival - Lots of Local Craftsmen Exhibited Their Wares - Maxim Does Not Like Shopping
Cousins Galore at Dungeness Spit - Olympic Peninsula
Maxim's First Ride In A Kayak
A Meal With G'mo and Bubeleh
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Family Reunion Photos
Family Portrait at Dungeness Spit - Olympic Peninsula
Daniel - Ever the Creative Engineer, Even on Vacation
Wheelies in the Waves with Cousin KirkWe are really enjoying our time here on Bainbridge Island, in Washington State. We packed for hot weather, remembering the reports we had heard of record high tempuratures and were surprised during our first week with some unexpectedly cool days. Lets just say the heat is back. It feels good to keep the doors open for the breeze off Puget Sound and to get out on the water.
Yesterday, we went kayaking with G'mo (my dad). First, Joel, Brina, Maxim and I headed up the bay with G'mo, passing several spots where I remember such things as the site of my first successful waterski attempt, a dock where I remember jumping into the water with cousins at night and seeing the phosphorescence from the plankton, and just generally beautiful scenery. Dad and I were in the double with Maxim in an extra middle seat. I occasionally passed my paddle back to him so he good try paddling as well (fortunately the paddles float so if he dropped it we could easily retrieve it). After we came back to the beach in front of the house, Brina and Joel took their kayaks back to the house, along with Maxim, and Cyan got in the boat with Dad and I. Heading north this time, we enjoyed seeing three otters playing in the water a little ways further out.
The only thing that would make it better would be if Daniel were still here. He had to fly back home on Sunday morning to be ready for a business trip into Canada this week. What was supposed to be a 5:55 a.m. flight to Denver, followed by others to Chicago and Grand Rapids, turned into four hours sitting on the tarmac in Seattle because of mechanical issues with the plane, and not getting home until 12:40 a.m. Tuesday. Yuck.
The girls are over at my sister Heidi's place tonight for suspense movies and a sleepover. Joel spent part of this afternoon with his cousin Geordie and G'mo picking up firewood for G'mo and Bubeleh about a half hour south of the island. Geordie will spend the night here at my parents'. Maxim and I enjoyed stretching out on the living room playing his favorite games (Match Game, Bingo, and Go Fish). This morning, some of us helped Bubeleh pick fresh plums and blackberries.
Time flies too fast out here, but it is a treasure to have time with family.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Latest Journey
What a joy to see O again, recently adopted from same orphanage Maxim came from. Her brother Z was adopted two years ago, also from Tsyurupinsk. So neat to meet their Mom who encouraged and mentored us even before we went to Ukraine.
We are in Washington State now, on a long overdue visit to my home area. Maxim has been able to meet many more relatives from my side of the family. We are staying at G'mo and Bubeleh's house (grandparents) and Maxim has really enjoyed being with so many others. He is such a people person anyway, and eats up the attention. We have played Jenga and Apples to Apples at Uncle Bruce and Aunt Kadi's house, looked at crabs on the beach, picked a few blackberries and enjoyed a hike out on the Dungeness Spit, up toward the north coast of the Olympic Peninsula. Such a beautiful area. Yesterday, Daniel and I drove down to Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma to meet up with the Walker family. When they went to Ukraine two years ago to adopt their son Ty, they took pictures of other children at the orphanage and shared them with the adoption agency later. It was one of those photos that I later saw, launching us on the journey to adopt Maxim. That little face just grabbed us. So of course, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet the Walkers face to face. It was a really nice day to be outside. Along with Ty, we also met the Walkers other son and their adopted daughter, who also came from the same orphanage. We had met their daughter O during our time in Ukraine, knowing that they were trying to get back there to adopt her yet not having the prerogative to tell her. It is so neat now to see her with her new family, really thriving.
The Walkers live in an area where there are quite a few Russian speaking immigrants, so Debbie was able to stop at a couple of Russian grocers on her way to the zoo to pick up some candy, chocolate and eggplant paste (very yummy) from Ukraine that she knew Maxim would enjoy. Thank you Debbie for your thoughtfulness.
With all of the things to see at the zoo, the three children from Ukraine didn't really connect right away. By the time we went for ice cream later, however, Ty was wanting to make sure Maxim sat by him.
Another thing I thought was really special was seeing how our daughter Cyan connected with their new daughter O. O was in her wheelchair for the day and when she noticed how tired Cyan was toward the end of our visit, she let Cyan sit on her lap so they could share the benefit of the wheelchair. O said Cyan reminds her of her friend Sveta back in Ukraine, who has similar disabilities.
Tonight, after returning from our beach hike, the day was topped off by witnessing the baptism of a new friend, Christy, in Puget Sound. She has been a friend of my Aunt Vivian's for about twenty years and has been intently seeking God's leading in her life. She also happens to be boldly fighting cancer right now, so it was an extra privilege to get to meet her and share in such a special occasion. Maxim watched the whole process of Christy walking out into the water as my dad supported her. He saw Dad dip Christy under the water and then help her up again and wondered what this was all about. As he sat there on Aunt Heidi's lap, Uncle Dean explained in very simple words how this is part of new life in Christ. I'm sure it will be a while before Maxim understands the depth of what he saw today, but I'm glad he could be there anyway. It's another seed planted in his mind of coming to Christ for the washing away of sin and being a new creation.
By the way, our flight out to Washington involved two layovers; one in Chicago for two hours and one in Phoenix for an hour. I wondered how Maxim would do with flying in the first place since the journey home from Ukraine wasn't without great drama, and I knew it would be confusing to him getting off one plane after another and having to be told the trip wasn't complete yet. I needn't have worried. He did beautifully. He ate every bit of the lunch we bought (gone are the days of complimentary meals and entertainment) and was content to stay in his seat and draw or just observe things around him. The older kids and I explained to him that we would go on three different planes and after plane #3, we would see G'mo and Bubeleh. He was content with that and the journey really went smoothly.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Jumping the Gun and Backtracking
The English language is full of such interesting expressions. I've often thought these must be such a challenge for those who come to the States and must learn the language relatively late in life. Where did these expressions come from?
Anyway, I have been jumping the gun and we have been backtracking as a result. Out of fear I have wanted to bring the scheduled surgery (September 11) to a screeching halt. Usually when I am stressed out about something, I stuff it and process it privately and then make some kind of choice. Daniel and I are very similar this way and it gets us in trouble because we don't always communicate our concerns as clearly as we should.
I made phone calls to consult with different professionals regarding Rolfing (a type of very specific intense massage) and acupuncture, and then proceeded to make appointments for Maxim. It has not been unusual as we've dealt with Cyan's special needs over the years for me to get information about different approaches and then press forward. Daniel has trusted me to make good decisions and we both realize that because of his responsibilities as the soul breadwinner in our household, I need to be willing to carry the job of making appointments and getting each child to whatever appointment is necessary for him/her. However, this scenario combined with Daniel's fairly frequent travel and such, can lead to him being clueless as to what exactly has been scheduled for the kids.
Some interesting things have happened lately to turn the tide in all of this. God has been teaching me some things through the writings of two women in particular who have the courage to teach others about proper man/woman roles in a family. So I have been more alert to my own need to look for God's leading of me through Daniel. At the same time, Daniel has been reading a very loving but "in-your-face" book called Sons of Abraham, which helps today's men get an accurate Biblical picture of their responsibilities to their families. As a result of all this, I had not truly been at peace with making the appointments without Daniel's input so I told him all about it and asked for his take on the idea; I also told him about all my fears about the upcoming surgery and how much I hate the idea that the best option for Maxim at this point really does mean removing certain bones entirely. Over the same weekend, Daniel brought us all together for a family meeting and openly confessed that he has been weak as a leader in our household and that sometimes when I make decisions he hasn't been pleased with, it's because he didn't address it himself in the first place, so I kind of had to make the choice on my own. Daniel apologized and asked our forgiveness and encouraged all of us to be more open when we need help with anything or have something bothering us. This was such a powerful thing for him to do. After that, we were able to talk about everything together, look at the results of various longterm studies of patients who've already experienced the particular surgery Maxim will have, etc. Together, we decided to go ahead with the surgery as planned, and cancel the alternative treatments for the time being. After exploring those more fully, we agree that the Rolfing and acupuncture will probably have greater benefit for Maxim during his rehabilitation after surgery. I can't tell you what a relief it is to work as a team. Just imagine a really long sigh of peace.
On a different note, Belinda came to see us yesterday. She is our adoption caseworker and it was time for her second follow-up visit since Maxim has been home. It has now been almost seven months. Hard to believe. Belinda asked us questions, observed Maxim, played with him, and asked him lots of questions. She also asked the kids and I what have been the greatest things as well as the most difficult in our adjustment since the adoption. Frankly, it has been easier to answer the second part of that question lately since Maxim's strong will has been openly expressed more frequently. We are very much dealing with the effects of Maxim spending his early years in an orphanage where there were few caretakers in ratio to children and although they were cared for and there was some definite discipline/order maintained, no doubt, certain issues that an parent would surely have corrected were let go because there wasn't the time or energy to address them. For example, if a child didn't feel like staying in class during school time, they were allowed to leave and do their own thing. As I juggle the needs of each child, I'm trying to recognize that Maxim will not always understand the decisions/disciplines/boundaries we make for him right now and we must be patient with him while also teaching him he is not the center of our household and rules/obedience do matter. I am simultaneously trying to balance my occasional anxiety about how much catching up he has to do with the fact that the most important thing is to nurture in him a confidence in God, in our love for him, and a love of learning. No matter what he's already missed, there is no way we can backtrack and do those days over. We have to pray for the wisdom to start with today, and make the most of the days ahead. Was it Paul or Peter who wrote "forgetting what is passed, I press forward"? Yes, I know we cannot forget what Maxim's early life was like; it will always be a part of him and we don't pretend something different. However, in God's graceful hands, we won't dwell on the past or let it excuse pursuing less than the best from today on.
A LITTLE HUMOR - Last night I had a funny dream that was strangely encouraging. We had just moved into a house at the top of a hill with a curving road descending into the neighborhood. As I was putting things away, I glanced outside, I saw Maxim exploring the neighborhood on his belly ( his occasional mode in real life, although he is primarily up on all fours these days). I was at ease with this as he appeared safe and I was glad he wasn't afraid to explore a new place. A little while later, I glanced out again just in time to see an amazing spectacle. Remember the old style double wide garage doors that were just one big panel you had to raise up? Well, I saw Maxim just as he crawled smoothly onto the end of one of those down the street and rode on it as it raised up. He then crawled smoothly off onto the roof and place a big load of laundry on the steep roof, which already had a lot of clothing on it. Then, to my horror, Maxim lost his balance and fell off the roof. I needn't have worried, though, because he landed in a nice soft pile of laundry that had not yet been delivered to the roof. Too funny. Don't even ask me about the significance of a dream involving a lot of laundry. I was just smiling when I woke up because the whole scenario summarized the best and the most difficult things in loving Maxim. He is very inquisitive, stubborn, brave, persistent, confident, naive, smart, funny. As with any child, the things you love most can also irritate the most depending on the context at the moment. May God continue to give me and all moms (dads too) the patience and perspective to bring out the best in our kids and direct their strengths and weaknesses to good end.
Here is an excerpt from Maxim's bedtime prayer this evening: "...thank you Sydney lady dog, thank you Sydney good dog dog, thank you dog food....." One of the very best things about being a parent is getting to hear kids pray. It's a happy treasure to tuck away at the end of the day.
Anyway, I have been jumping the gun and we have been backtracking as a result. Out of fear I have wanted to bring the scheduled surgery (September 11) to a screeching halt. Usually when I am stressed out about something, I stuff it and process it privately and then make some kind of choice. Daniel and I are very similar this way and it gets us in trouble because we don't always communicate our concerns as clearly as we should.
I made phone calls to consult with different professionals regarding Rolfing (a type of very specific intense massage) and acupuncture, and then proceeded to make appointments for Maxim. It has not been unusual as we've dealt with Cyan's special needs over the years for me to get information about different approaches and then press forward. Daniel has trusted me to make good decisions and we both realize that because of his responsibilities as the soul breadwinner in our household, I need to be willing to carry the job of making appointments and getting each child to whatever appointment is necessary for him/her. However, this scenario combined with Daniel's fairly frequent travel and such, can lead to him being clueless as to what exactly has been scheduled for the kids.
Some interesting things have happened lately to turn the tide in all of this. God has been teaching me some things through the writings of two women in particular who have the courage to teach others about proper man/woman roles in a family. So I have been more alert to my own need to look for God's leading of me through Daniel. At the same time, Daniel has been reading a very loving but "in-your-face" book called Sons of Abraham, which helps today's men get an accurate Biblical picture of their responsibilities to their families. As a result of all this, I had not truly been at peace with making the appointments without Daniel's input so I told him all about it and asked for his take on the idea; I also told him about all my fears about the upcoming surgery and how much I hate the idea that the best option for Maxim at this point really does mean removing certain bones entirely. Over the same weekend, Daniel brought us all together for a family meeting and openly confessed that he has been weak as a leader in our household and that sometimes when I make decisions he hasn't been pleased with, it's because he didn't address it himself in the first place, so I kind of had to make the choice on my own. Daniel apologized and asked our forgiveness and encouraged all of us to be more open when we need help with anything or have something bothering us. This was such a powerful thing for him to do. After that, we were able to talk about everything together, look at the results of various longterm studies of patients who've already experienced the particular surgery Maxim will have, etc. Together, we decided to go ahead with the surgery as planned, and cancel the alternative treatments for the time being. After exploring those more fully, we agree that the Rolfing and acupuncture will probably have greater benefit for Maxim during his rehabilitation after surgery. I can't tell you what a relief it is to work as a team. Just imagine a really long sigh of peace.
On a different note, Belinda came to see us yesterday. She is our adoption caseworker and it was time for her second follow-up visit since Maxim has been home. It has now been almost seven months. Hard to believe. Belinda asked us questions, observed Maxim, played with him, and asked him lots of questions. She also asked the kids and I what have been the greatest things as well as the most difficult in our adjustment since the adoption. Frankly, it has been easier to answer the second part of that question lately since Maxim's strong will has been openly expressed more frequently. We are very much dealing with the effects of Maxim spending his early years in an orphanage where there were few caretakers in ratio to children and although they were cared for and there was some definite discipline/order maintained, no doubt, certain issues that an parent would surely have corrected were let go because there wasn't the time or energy to address them. For example, if a child didn't feel like staying in class during school time, they were allowed to leave and do their own thing. As I juggle the needs of each child, I'm trying to recognize that Maxim will not always understand the decisions/disciplines/boundaries we make for him right now and we must be patient with him while also teaching him he is not the center of our household and rules/obedience do matter. I am simultaneously trying to balance my occasional anxiety about how much catching up he has to do with the fact that the most important thing is to nurture in him a confidence in God, in our love for him, and a love of learning. No matter what he's already missed, there is no way we can backtrack and do those days over. We have to pray for the wisdom to start with today, and make the most of the days ahead. Was it Paul or Peter who wrote "forgetting what is passed, I press forward"? Yes, I know we cannot forget what Maxim's early life was like; it will always be a part of him and we don't pretend something different. However, in God's graceful hands, we won't dwell on the past or let it excuse pursuing less than the best from today on.
A LITTLE HUMOR - Last night I had a funny dream that was strangely encouraging. We had just moved into a house at the top of a hill with a curving road descending into the neighborhood. As I was putting things away, I glanced outside, I saw Maxim exploring the neighborhood on his belly ( his occasional mode in real life, although he is primarily up on all fours these days). I was at ease with this as he appeared safe and I was glad he wasn't afraid to explore a new place. A little while later, I glanced out again just in time to see an amazing spectacle. Remember the old style double wide garage doors that were just one big panel you had to raise up? Well, I saw Maxim just as he crawled smoothly onto the end of one of those down the street and rode on it as it raised up. He then crawled smoothly off onto the roof and place a big load of laundry on the steep roof, which already had a lot of clothing on it. Then, to my horror, Maxim lost his balance and fell off the roof. I needn't have worried, though, because he landed in a nice soft pile of laundry that had not yet been delivered to the roof. Too funny. Don't even ask me about the significance of a dream involving a lot of laundry. I was just smiling when I woke up because the whole scenario summarized the best and the most difficult things in loving Maxim. He is very inquisitive, stubborn, brave, persistent, confident, naive, smart, funny. As with any child, the things you love most can also irritate the most depending on the context at the moment. May God continue to give me and all moms (dads too) the patience and perspective to bring out the best in our kids and direct their strengths and weaknesses to good end.
Here is an excerpt from Maxim's bedtime prayer this evening: "...thank you Sydney lady dog, thank you Sydney good dog dog, thank you dog food....." One of the very best things about being a parent is getting to hear kids pray. It's a happy treasure to tuck away at the end of the day.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
photo update
Latest Look At Maxim's Feet - Do They Appear to Be Regressing to You?
Compare to the May 3 and February 27 Posts
Building a Fort in the Living Room With Joel
Hardhat In Place for the Big Job
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Countdown and Concern
We are enjoying the summer thoroughly. I continue to be amazed at how productive our little raised garden beds have been so far. Certainly, some plants have not yielded what I would have hoped (spinach and peas), but we have tasted the incomparible first fresh homegrown tomato (cut in six wedges so everyone could enjoy), lots of yummy leaf lettuce and some beautiful red potatos have been poking up so I had to bring in more soil to keep them covered for the rest of their season.
The corn has tassles on it already but is not as tall as we would like to see, so I'm not sure how truly productive each stalk will be; time will tell.
Tomorrow is the big day for Joel and Brina, auditioning for various music programs in the area.
Brina continues to pursue fiddling and homeschool orchestra and is now hoping to join the local youth symphony. She and I are also working on some violin/piano pieces we can share at church or Sukkot soon.
Joel is hoping to become part of a jazz/big band ensemble which graduated three trumpeters last year and he's is also considering the local youth symphony.
Cyan is preparing a dance to present at Sukkot in a couple of months. Sorry if I have posted this before, but I'm so excited for her. Her grace in movement has really changed over the last year and she can concentrate more on the worship words she hears in a particular song and how to move to it, instead of working so hard to just keep her balance.
Meanwhile Maxim is into a regular routine now with weekly physical therapy and continuing to stretch in his command of English. The physical therapy is not easy for him, but we do the stretches every day at home too and I do notice a difference in his flexibility. He has definitely regained a good bit of his previous trunk strength and can sit up much straighter without support. We are encouraged that he will consistently get all the way up on all fours and crawl rather than moving on his belly everywhere as in the past.
The whole family is counting down the days until we are on our way to Washington State. Just thirteen more days. We of course love love love our family and friends in Michigan but if you are a household with loved ones far away, you understand the feeling. Time with the distant ones, when you can achieve it, is precious.
Our time between now and the trip is absolutely packed. The auditions as I mentioned before. I have some dental work to get completed. Brina is hopefully getting her braces off either this Thursday or next. I have a couple more Sabbath school preschool classes to teach (if you've never tried this, go for it; these little kids are both sweet and challenging) as well.
As you know, the specialist who did Maxim's hip reconstruction is now scheduled to do surgery on his feet on September 11. The plan is to remove the talus from each foot, as I've described before, possibly transfer some tendons, and fuse what is left into the best position possible. The closer we get, the more uneasy I feel about this plan. Not a matter of whether I trust the doctor and her team. It's a matter of how once those bones are removed, there is no going back. The testimonials of others who have experienced similar treatments are not always encouraging. So, I am doing everything I can to get educated on alternative approaches that are not invasive but can encourage Maxim's feet into continuallly better position. I have spoken to several Rolfers (sorry I'm not sure how to do a link, but look this up on the Web; very interesting) and also to a local acupuncturist. We have the opportunity to consult with both types of practitioners next week before we leave for the West Coast. Both of these approaches are based on philosophies of healing that have been around for thousands of years and I do see some encouraging testimonials regarding both as they relate to clubfoot.
Since the specialist we have been seeing feels from her own understanding that the next step is surgery and she is not planning any more casting to improve Maxim's foot position, it makes sense to me to pursue anything else we can that will continue his progress without surgery. Why rush into the surgery simply because it's the specialist's "last card to play" as far as Maxim's feet go? My gut says look for all other options first and then if bone removal is truly necessary, we'll at least know we left no stone unturned.
When you are parenting children with special needs, it is often a challenge to explore everything you can do for them while maintaining family balance and not tearing yourself apart if you later realize you could have done something different.
I guess all parenting involves some second guessing of self and some "hindsight is 20/20" revelations along the way. When your special needs child is also adopted and needing to catch up because of early life neglect, the parental sense of urgency is heightened. So I am finding that I have to be careful to balance wanting very much to help Maxim catch up to his peers however possible as soon as possible, with the very real need to take our time with medical decisions so we make the right choices. When he is already seven years old, after all, a couple of extra months to explore options is not a terrible thing.
Does any of this make sense to you readers? I covet your prayers as Daniel and I press on in Maxim's care. I would love to hear from those of you who read this blog because of your own journey related to clubfeet. What have you attempted and found success with?
The corn has tassles on it already but is not as tall as we would like to see, so I'm not sure how truly productive each stalk will be; time will tell.
Tomorrow is the big day for Joel and Brina, auditioning for various music programs in the area.
Brina continues to pursue fiddling and homeschool orchestra and is now hoping to join the local youth symphony. She and I are also working on some violin/piano pieces we can share at church or Sukkot soon.
Joel is hoping to become part of a jazz/big band ensemble which graduated three trumpeters last year and he's is also considering the local youth symphony.
Cyan is preparing a dance to present at Sukkot in a couple of months. Sorry if I have posted this before, but I'm so excited for her. Her grace in movement has really changed over the last year and she can concentrate more on the worship words she hears in a particular song and how to move to it, instead of working so hard to just keep her balance.
Meanwhile Maxim is into a regular routine now with weekly physical therapy and continuing to stretch in his command of English. The physical therapy is not easy for him, but we do the stretches every day at home too and I do notice a difference in his flexibility. He has definitely regained a good bit of his previous trunk strength and can sit up much straighter without support. We are encouraged that he will consistently get all the way up on all fours and crawl rather than moving on his belly everywhere as in the past.
The whole family is counting down the days until we are on our way to Washington State. Just thirteen more days. We of course love love love our family and friends in Michigan but if you are a household with loved ones far away, you understand the feeling. Time with the distant ones, when you can achieve it, is precious.
Our time between now and the trip is absolutely packed. The auditions as I mentioned before. I have some dental work to get completed. Brina is hopefully getting her braces off either this Thursday or next. I have a couple more Sabbath school preschool classes to teach (if you've never tried this, go for it; these little kids are both sweet and challenging) as well.
As you know, the specialist who did Maxim's hip reconstruction is now scheduled to do surgery on his feet on September 11. The plan is to remove the talus from each foot, as I've described before, possibly transfer some tendons, and fuse what is left into the best position possible. The closer we get, the more uneasy I feel about this plan. Not a matter of whether I trust the doctor and her team. It's a matter of how once those bones are removed, there is no going back. The testimonials of others who have experienced similar treatments are not always encouraging. So, I am doing everything I can to get educated on alternative approaches that are not invasive but can encourage Maxim's feet into continuallly better position. I have spoken to several Rolfers (sorry I'm not sure how to do a link, but look this up on the Web; very interesting) and also to a local acupuncturist. We have the opportunity to consult with both types of practitioners next week before we leave for the West Coast. Both of these approaches are based on philosophies of healing that have been around for thousands of years and I do see some encouraging testimonials regarding both as they relate to clubfoot.
Since the specialist we have been seeing feels from her own understanding that the next step is surgery and she is not planning any more casting to improve Maxim's foot position, it makes sense to me to pursue anything else we can that will continue his progress without surgery. Why rush into the surgery simply because it's the specialist's "last card to play" as far as Maxim's feet go? My gut says look for all other options first and then if bone removal is truly necessary, we'll at least know we left no stone unturned.
When you are parenting children with special needs, it is often a challenge to explore everything you can do for them while maintaining family balance and not tearing yourself apart if you later realize you could have done something different.
I guess all parenting involves some second guessing of self and some "hindsight is 20/20" revelations along the way. When your special needs child is also adopted and needing to catch up because of early life neglect, the parental sense of urgency is heightened. So I am finding that I have to be careful to balance wanting very much to help Maxim catch up to his peers however possible as soon as possible, with the very real need to take our time with medical decisions so we make the right choices. When he is already seven years old, after all, a couple of extra months to explore options is not a terrible thing.
Does any of this make sense to you readers? I covet your prayers as Daniel and I press on in Maxim's care. I would love to hear from those of you who read this blog because of your own journey related to clubfeet. What have you attempted and found success with?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Milestones
Sunday, July 19 was Maxim's seventh birthday, his first as a United States citizen. It was so much fun anticipating it with him, although I'm sure everything will make much more sense next year. He often told people he was meeting for the first time "Maxim seven soon". For weeks, he was looking forward to the "rainbow cake" Brina said she would make for him. He knew there would be gifts and the happy birthday song he had heard sung to other children from time to time.
The big day arrived. Brina got up extra early, a really big deal for her, especially on a weekend, and started making the cake. She used a basic white cake recipe but divided the batter and tinted each portion a different color. Then she put them back together, barely blending them at all, and baked two layers. Next came the frosting, just cream cheese frosting tinted yellow. I had completely forgotten about candles but Brina spied some in the kitchen cupboard.
While the finishing touches of multi-colored sprinkles were put on the cake and plates and forks set out, Maxim stayed with Daniel at the computer watching games.
Finally everything was set and we brought Maxim to the table to see his cake, with the candles lit. He blew every one out after about five tries and we all enjoyed Brina's handiwork together. She really does make delicious desserts.
Afterward, Maxim enjoyed opening his gifts. All of the teens had picked out different things for him. Brina found a starfish made out of something that expands when set in water, so Maxim will enjoy watching that grow. Cyan found him a set of beach toys that are all Thomas the Tank Engine themed. Joel purchased a Mr. Potato Head set that is Bumble Spud, inspired by the Transformers. G'mo and Bubeleh (my parents) sent a Harry the Dirty Dog book, several classic stories on DVD, and a generous monetary gift. Grandpa and Grandma bought Maxim a little yellow toy Porsche ( he loves any yellow car), a yellow truck, a really nice toy boat, and also gave a generous gift for his bank account. Thanks to each of you for your thoughtfulness. It really was a nice day for Maxim. He especially enjoyed playing with his boat in the tub and watching the stories on DVD while sitting in his Elmo armchair which shakes and giggles.
An interesting twist to the day was that it also included a memorial service for a man named Roy Avery. There were such wonderful testimonies from various family and friends of what a truly unique loving and loved man he was. Hard-working, steadfast in faith, compassionate, unswerving, helpful, faithful. Qualities I hope to see in both Joel and Maxim as they become men.
God spoke to me during that service. During the instrumental music presentations, He spoke to me over and over, "she is healed" and I knew He was referring to my daughter Cyan, who has cerebral palsy. Then during the next set of music, I was prompted not to doubt, not to wonder what someone would say if I told them out loud Cyan is healed. Just say thank you to the Father and I will see the fruits of His promise. Say thank you for what He has already told me is true and then I will see the evidence. And have the courage to not only believe what He told me but proclaim it to others and ask them to thank God for healing Cyan.
During the remainder of the service I heard some speak of how Roy Avery was not the kind of person to back down on what he knew to be true. The thought that others might think him crazy for what he believed and proclaimed did not stop him from walking out what he believed and wearing his faith big and bold on his shirt-sleeve. It all came together as a witness to me to not shy away from saying out loud what God just shared with me. So after we got home, I asked Daniel if we could have a family meeting and I told them what happened.
I believe Cyan is healed and I will thank the Father for it. I hope others will too. Sometimes, we have to just take Him at His word, believe it and the evidence comes later. I'm hanging on to that. This is not a cop-out but I just want to say that I accept what I heard from God yesterday, without doubt. Promises have been proclaimed to His people many times that they had to wait to witness fully. Christ was proclaimed King and fit everything that had been prophesied about Him, yet He didn't fit the "mold" that others had in mind for the Messiah. Many things had to materialize for people to believe and many still don't.
Like one of those inexpensive little children's drawing sets where you tell the child to color everything in but the marker does not appear to be accomplishing anything. As a parent you insist that the child trust and keep coloring every space. Then you set it out in the sun, and only later after that exposure to the sun do all the colors appear. The picture really is complete. God walks with us as we keep coloring and from time to time He says okay now stand back and watch this. That's where I feel we're at with Cyan. We have been coloring and coloring and now, exposed to the Son, we're going to see the picture. The catch is we have to thank Him constantly before we even see the picture, not just when it's actually unveiled. I know this is very wordy and maybe sounds like complete gobbledy gook to some. That's okay. Just thank God for what He has already done. Thank Him for what He is doing right now. Thank Him for what He will do. Know that healing is available through Christ (Yeshua). He is able. For Cyan. For Maxim. For all who are in need of healing. For you.
Happy Birthday to You, Maxim. You are blessed and a blessing.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Diagnosis, Hope and Transformation
Well, the genetics appointment was pretty calm cool and collected yesterday. I thought we might be late since the freeway has some areas under construction and there were also emergency vehicles making their way ahead of us. However, although we were indeed seven minutes late, it all worked out fine.
Dr. Toritelli, the genetics specialist, felt it was only necessary to observe xrays she already had of Maxim and see him in person for a short time in order to conclude the diagnosis of arthrogryposis. I have a lot to learn about this disorder, but it's basically an umbrella term for bundles of weakness, malformation and/or dislocation of the muscles and joints which may or may not be genetic. In some cases, the disorder stems from lack of sufficient room to move in the womb and in some cases it does indeed have a genetic basis. She felt it was unnecessary (and I agree) to go through actual blood work and testing at this time to determine the cause of Maxim's arthrogryposis. She says if Maxim wants to know for sure someday, for the sake of any future children, whether or not his particular case is due to a genetic disorder, he may choose to do the testing then and frankly the genetics testing will be so much more sophisticated by then, we'll probably get more answers in the long run. It is just satisfying to get the definite label and know that this is not a progressive disease of any kind. Like Cyan's cerebral palsy, this results in certain weaknesses and challenges but it is not going to get worse and a lot of progress can be made through surgeries and therapies.
Right after our appointment with Dr. Toritelli, we zipped down Michigan Avenue in Grand Rapids to Dr. Reinhart's office so she could get a good look at Maxim in his new brace. She tweaked it a little so his right leg is pulled out to the right a little further, wanting to make sure the top of his femur sits in the hip socket more securely. He will remain in just this brace (24/7 except for toilet, bathing, and swimming) until September 1, when they will again cast his feet and lower legs in preparation for the September 11 surgery.
Keep praying for God's divine moving and softening of Maxim's feet. I believe a lot can happen between now and the planned surgery.
I was reading an article recently by Ken Burns, the very talented historian and film maker. He was talking about the National Park system in the United States; how breathtakingly beautiful each park is and what a special gift it is that several people who came before us thought to preserve these areas so all people could continue to enjoy them. One comment that struck me is that Mr. Burns felt that when one takes the time to visit these areas and takes several days (even weeks) to explore and observe, it is a life-changing spiritual experience. He felt that by spending concentrated time in such beautiful places, away from all the frenzy and distraction of typical American life, one's very molecules are even reordered, it is that intense. It's like becoming someone new because of where we've spent that time.
I will write more about this on my other blog (www.onedaughteroftheking.blogspot.com) but in conjunction with the appointments this week, it just left me pondering how mighty our God us to give us reminders all around us in His creation of who He is and that He is able. He is our Fortress, our Refuge, our Comfort, our Healer. Through time spent with Him, wherever that may be, we really are transformed, physically and spiritually. He sees Maxim's need and in His hands, anything really is possible. For Maxim. For Cyan. For you. Rest in that. Press on in that.
Dr. Toritelli, the genetics specialist, felt it was only necessary to observe xrays she already had of Maxim and see him in person for a short time in order to conclude the diagnosis of arthrogryposis. I have a lot to learn about this disorder, but it's basically an umbrella term for bundles of weakness, malformation and/or dislocation of the muscles and joints which may or may not be genetic. In some cases, the disorder stems from lack of sufficient room to move in the womb and in some cases it does indeed have a genetic basis. She felt it was unnecessary (and I agree) to go through actual blood work and testing at this time to determine the cause of Maxim's arthrogryposis. She says if Maxim wants to know for sure someday, for the sake of any future children, whether or not his particular case is due to a genetic disorder, he may choose to do the testing then and frankly the genetics testing will be so much more sophisticated by then, we'll probably get more answers in the long run. It is just satisfying to get the definite label and know that this is not a progressive disease of any kind. Like Cyan's cerebral palsy, this results in certain weaknesses and challenges but it is not going to get worse and a lot of progress can be made through surgeries and therapies.
Right after our appointment with Dr. Toritelli, we zipped down Michigan Avenue in Grand Rapids to Dr. Reinhart's office so she could get a good look at Maxim in his new brace. She tweaked it a little so his right leg is pulled out to the right a little further, wanting to make sure the top of his femur sits in the hip socket more securely. He will remain in just this brace (24/7 except for toilet, bathing, and swimming) until September 1, when they will again cast his feet and lower legs in preparation for the September 11 surgery.
Keep praying for God's divine moving and softening of Maxim's feet. I believe a lot can happen between now and the planned surgery.
I was reading an article recently by Ken Burns, the very talented historian and film maker. He was talking about the National Park system in the United States; how breathtakingly beautiful each park is and what a special gift it is that several people who came before us thought to preserve these areas so all people could continue to enjoy them. One comment that struck me is that Mr. Burns felt that when one takes the time to visit these areas and takes several days (even weeks) to explore and observe, it is a life-changing spiritual experience. He felt that by spending concentrated time in such beautiful places, away from all the frenzy and distraction of typical American life, one's very molecules are even reordered, it is that intense. It's like becoming someone new because of where we've spent that time.
I will write more about this on my other blog (www.onedaughteroftheking.blogspot.com) but in conjunction with the appointments this week, it just left me pondering how mighty our God us to give us reminders all around us in His creation of who He is and that He is able. He is our Fortress, our Refuge, our Comfort, our Healer. Through time spent with Him, wherever that may be, we really are transformed, physically and spiritually. He sees Maxim's need and in His hands, anything really is possible. For Maxim. For Cyan. For you. Rest in that. Press on in that.
Monday, July 13, 2009
More Appointments Tomorrow
It's hard to believe the appointment with the genetics specialists is tomorrow already. This appointment was set up by Dr. Reinhart months ago and seemed soooo far away.
We will arrive at the clinic in Grand Rapids at 8:30 a.m. and expect to be there at least an hour. They will probably send us somewhere for additional blood work as well. The whole point is to find out if the club feet and other joint issues evident in Maxim are the result of any genetic disorder. It is apparently not unusual for club feet and other things to come in clusters and they like to track causes so hopefully future generations can benefit. If we find that Maxim's problems have a genetic root, it won't change how we deal with it but he will have information valuable to him in the future.
From that appointment, we will go straight to Dr. Reinhart's office right down the street so she can see Maxim in his new brace and better evaluate the proper focus for his therapy.
He did have his first physical therapy appointment this past Thursday. We were surprised to see that the doctor's prescription specified the brace could not be removed during therapy even. However, Shelly the therapist gave some really valuable advice and instruction on how to support one area of Maxim's body while stretching another. Maxim handled it really well which was a relief since he has been a little more argumentative lately. Really testing his boundaries and struggling with the fact that children have to obey parents and not vice versa. Debbie, another blogger, shared some wonderful insights about this very issue at www.jerdebwalker.blogspot.com. I really appreciated another parents perspective in this same scenario.
We have yet to get Maxim out to Lake Michigan. The time that he is allowed to be out of the brace is limited so we have limited him, so far, to just playing in the tub when he craves water play.
From those of you who have dealt with extremely underweight adoptees, I would really like to hear your input on what you did nutritionally to help build them up.
We are especially excited to be going out to Washington State next month. We always really enjoy spending time with family there and this year will be even sweeter because Maxim will be meeting everyone out there for the first time. My dad will have just finished his rounds of radiation ( he has handled it remarkably well and is staying super active and upbeat)too, so that adds to the blessing of getting to go there this year. One icing on the cake, as well, is that we will finally be able to meet the Walker family. They live about an hour and a half from my parents and adopted two children from the same orphanage Maxim was at. When they adopted their son in 2007, they took a lot of pictures although this was greatly frowned upon and shared them with the adoption agency later. It was one of their photos that allowed us our first glimpse of Maxim. So, you see, we really must meet them face to face, don't you think?
We will arrive at the clinic in Grand Rapids at 8:30 a.m. and expect to be there at least an hour. They will probably send us somewhere for additional blood work as well. The whole point is to find out if the club feet and other joint issues evident in Maxim are the result of any genetic disorder. It is apparently not unusual for club feet and other things to come in clusters and they like to track causes so hopefully future generations can benefit. If we find that Maxim's problems have a genetic root, it won't change how we deal with it but he will have information valuable to him in the future.
From that appointment, we will go straight to Dr. Reinhart's office right down the street so she can see Maxim in his new brace and better evaluate the proper focus for his therapy.
He did have his first physical therapy appointment this past Thursday. We were surprised to see that the doctor's prescription specified the brace could not be removed during therapy even. However, Shelly the therapist gave some really valuable advice and instruction on how to support one area of Maxim's body while stretching another. Maxim handled it really well which was a relief since he has been a little more argumentative lately. Really testing his boundaries and struggling with the fact that children have to obey parents and not vice versa. Debbie, another blogger, shared some wonderful insights about this very issue at www.jerdebwalker.blogspot.com. I really appreciated another parents perspective in this same scenario.
We have yet to get Maxim out to Lake Michigan. The time that he is allowed to be out of the brace is limited so we have limited him, so far, to just playing in the tub when he craves water play.
From those of you who have dealt with extremely underweight adoptees, I would really like to hear your input on what you did nutritionally to help build them up.
We are especially excited to be going out to Washington State next month. We always really enjoy spending time with family there and this year will be even sweeter because Maxim will be meeting everyone out there for the first time. My dad will have just finished his rounds of radiation ( he has handled it remarkably well and is staying super active and upbeat)too, so that adds to the blessing of getting to go there this year. One icing on the cake, as well, is that we will finally be able to meet the Walker family. They live about an hour and a half from my parents and adopted two children from the same orphanage Maxim was at. When they adopted their son in 2007, they took a lot of pictures although this was greatly frowned upon and shared them with the adoption agency later. It was one of their photos that allowed us our first glimpse of Maxim. So, you see, we really must meet them face to face, don't you think?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Maxim in America - the Blessed of the Blessed
Today, everyone in the extended family had the day off since tomorrow is Independence Day, also known as the 4th of July. America's so-called birthday. We enjoyed hamburgers and hot dogs with all the fixings at Daniel's parents' place and Maxim finally enjoyed the tractor ride with Grandpa he's been hoping for, now that the body cast is a thing of the past. Cousins shot nerf-type rockets up in the air, tossed baseballs back and forth, rode Uncle Brian's go-cart around the farm and down the dirt road and just enjoyed each other's company. Aunt Carolanne, who was recently hospitalized again due to colitis was up on her feet and able to enjoy the festivities too. There is nothing like family together. We don't do it nearly enough.
Really interesting to contemplate as we celebrate the holiday with Maxim for the first time.
Things I may not have noticed before strike me intensely this year because of our experience overseas during Maxim's adoption, as well as different things that have transpired since the election of our new president last Fall.
In Ukraine, where Maxim was born, they have only been independent of outside rule since the early '90s. After release from the former Soviet Union, certain freedoms were achieved but at a great price. The Soviet Union was extremely orderly. Parks were precisely designed and well maintained. Now they are run down, with the pools emptied of any water and the fountains turned off. Public and government buildings are slowly falling apart because there are no funds dedicated for their up-keep. A large number of stray dogs run wild, sometimes in dangerous packs, because there are no longer any dog catchers. In general, families have only one or two children and both parents work full time (very long hours, often far from home), while the babushkas (grandmothers) raise the children.
Stadiums, once the pride of the Soviet Olympic training system, stand silent. Many people we spoke to admitted there is such corruption in their government, they don't really expect any of this to change, so it's everyone for himself. Overall, people do not trust their leaders or each other. Freedom from the Soviet Union was achieved but no one knows what to do with it. First hand accounts from former slaves in our country indicate not all knew what to do with the freedom handed to them after the Civil War. Scripture tells us the Israelites didn't handle their freedom from Egypt so well in many ways. Maxim is no longer tied to the Ukrainian orphanage system, which is wonderful, but he still needs boundaries. Daniel and I are entrusted with the task of teaching him certain boundaries so the freedom he has been blessed with will actually be enjoyable and beneficial.
Here in the United States of America, we are uniquely blessed. Not because we are such great people, but because God is God. Long ago, He made promises of blessings and cursings to those who would obey or choose to disobey His ways. The blessings were promised to multiple generations. In short, we have what we have in great part because of choices made by those who came before us. Yes, our choices make a difference in our own personal lives, but I think we have forgotten to be thankful for the fact that many of those who came before us were obedient to God's ways to the best of their ability and we are reaping the benefits. We have forgotten that the choices we are making now are not supposed to be focused only on what we can attain and achieve but on what effect we may have on future generations.
This country is not perfect. We all know that. However, maybe we have individually and nationally been so focused on ourselves at times that we don't realize how abundantly blessed we are. Take a look at this quick comparison with Ukraine.
In America, you can call 9-1-1 and someone will come to help you, quickly and efficiently, eith few exceptions. There is no such system in Ukraine. In fact, if you are not willing/able to immediately pay the ambulance driver whatever they feel like charging at a given moment, forget calling for help at all.
In America, if you're lost, you can flag down a policeman and he'll actually assist you and want to help you on your way. In Ukraine, people do what they can to avoid the police if at all possible due to fears from the past and knowing that there is still great corruption. The thought that a policeman might be someone to seek out in time of need is mind-boggling to them.
In Ukraine, people don't seem to smile very much. We were told that people who "smile too much" are viewed as completely stupid or suspicious.
Our nation has an amazing system of roadways, libraries, public universities, medical facilities, national parks, etc., which afford every single citizen opportunities for constant new learning, exploration, pleasure, safety and education.
Yes, we sometimes treat each other poorly and need to re-learn some basic etiquette in getting along, but we are sooooooo incredibly blessed.
If you are an American yet believe that as such, you have somehow been completely cheated in life, I hope Maxim, who became a citizen of this great nation just a few months ago, doesn't meet you anytime soon. You see, through his eyes, this place is still amazing. To him, trash trucks are beautiful. When he sits in his booster seat in the van and surveys all the things we pass as we drive through town, it's all positive to him. He doesn't care that many "more mature" people wouldn't want to be a trash man and look down on those those who are. He just sees this terrific vehicle that comes down the street, lifts and empties each dumpster and whisks the trash away. He doesn't care that the bright yellow house is in a rundown, questionable part of town. He just sees a house that is his favorite color and hopes he can live there some day. He thinks all things really are possible.
Ukraine has beauty and weakness. America has beauty and weakness. Both are full of faults. But by God's grace, this really is the "land of opportunity". We experience it today because someone before us recognized that fact and tended the freedoms wisely. Someone treasured the resources we have and carefully nurtured and multiplied them. Someone taught their children to be polite, faithful and hard-working and those children taught their children. Someone prayed, took good care of their possessions and were quick to lend a hand to those around them. Someone thought of those generations coming up behind them and tried to leave their little corner of the world better than they found it.
Happy birthday America! Appreciate what you have and tend it well. Pray to discern what is broken and what is not. Fix what is truly broken and vehemently protect what is not. Acknowledge sin and turn from it. Acknowledge God in all you do and He will direct your paths. What better Director could there possibly be.
Maxim, it will be your birthday soon. May you continue to see the blessings all around you and be a good steward of each. Give God all the credit and honor for the opportunities that come your way. It is truly His hand that has brought you to this land and to this family. Welcome to America!
Really interesting to contemplate as we celebrate the holiday with Maxim for the first time.
Things I may not have noticed before strike me intensely this year because of our experience overseas during Maxim's adoption, as well as different things that have transpired since the election of our new president last Fall.
In Ukraine, where Maxim was born, they have only been independent of outside rule since the early '90s. After release from the former Soviet Union, certain freedoms were achieved but at a great price. The Soviet Union was extremely orderly. Parks were precisely designed and well maintained. Now they are run down, with the pools emptied of any water and the fountains turned off. Public and government buildings are slowly falling apart because there are no funds dedicated for their up-keep. A large number of stray dogs run wild, sometimes in dangerous packs, because there are no longer any dog catchers. In general, families have only one or two children and both parents work full time (very long hours, often far from home), while the babushkas (grandmothers) raise the children.
Stadiums, once the pride of the Soviet Olympic training system, stand silent. Many people we spoke to admitted there is such corruption in their government, they don't really expect any of this to change, so it's everyone for himself. Overall, people do not trust their leaders or each other. Freedom from the Soviet Union was achieved but no one knows what to do with it. First hand accounts from former slaves in our country indicate not all knew what to do with the freedom handed to them after the Civil War. Scripture tells us the Israelites didn't handle their freedom from Egypt so well in many ways. Maxim is no longer tied to the Ukrainian orphanage system, which is wonderful, but he still needs boundaries. Daniel and I are entrusted with the task of teaching him certain boundaries so the freedom he has been blessed with will actually be enjoyable and beneficial.
Here in the United States of America, we are uniquely blessed. Not because we are such great people, but because God is God. Long ago, He made promises of blessings and cursings to those who would obey or choose to disobey His ways. The blessings were promised to multiple generations. In short, we have what we have in great part because of choices made by those who came before us. Yes, our choices make a difference in our own personal lives, but I think we have forgotten to be thankful for the fact that many of those who came before us were obedient to God's ways to the best of their ability and we are reaping the benefits. We have forgotten that the choices we are making now are not supposed to be focused only on what we can attain and achieve but on what effect we may have on future generations.
This country is not perfect. We all know that. However, maybe we have individually and nationally been so focused on ourselves at times that we don't realize how abundantly blessed we are. Take a look at this quick comparison with Ukraine.
In America, you can call 9-1-1 and someone will come to help you, quickly and efficiently, eith few exceptions. There is no such system in Ukraine. In fact, if you are not willing/able to immediately pay the ambulance driver whatever they feel like charging at a given moment, forget calling for help at all.
In America, if you're lost, you can flag down a policeman and he'll actually assist you and want to help you on your way. In Ukraine, people do what they can to avoid the police if at all possible due to fears from the past and knowing that there is still great corruption. The thought that a policeman might be someone to seek out in time of need is mind-boggling to them.
In Ukraine, people don't seem to smile very much. We were told that people who "smile too much" are viewed as completely stupid or suspicious.
Our nation has an amazing system of roadways, libraries, public universities, medical facilities, national parks, etc., which afford every single citizen opportunities for constant new learning, exploration, pleasure, safety and education.
Yes, we sometimes treat each other poorly and need to re-learn some basic etiquette in getting along, but we are sooooooo incredibly blessed.
If you are an American yet believe that as such, you have somehow been completely cheated in life, I hope Maxim, who became a citizen of this great nation just a few months ago, doesn't meet you anytime soon. You see, through his eyes, this place is still amazing. To him, trash trucks are beautiful. When he sits in his booster seat in the van and surveys all the things we pass as we drive through town, it's all positive to him. He doesn't care that many "more mature" people wouldn't want to be a trash man and look down on those those who are. He just sees this terrific vehicle that comes down the street, lifts and empties each dumpster and whisks the trash away. He doesn't care that the bright yellow house is in a rundown, questionable part of town. He just sees a house that is his favorite color and hopes he can live there some day. He thinks all things really are possible.
Ukraine has beauty and weakness. America has beauty and weakness. Both are full of faults. But by God's grace, this really is the "land of opportunity". We experience it today because someone before us recognized that fact and tended the freedoms wisely. Someone treasured the resources we have and carefully nurtured and multiplied them. Someone taught their children to be polite, faithful and hard-working and those children taught their children. Someone prayed, took good care of their possessions and were quick to lend a hand to those around them. Someone thought of those generations coming up behind them and tried to leave their little corner of the world better than they found it.
Happy birthday America! Appreciate what you have and tend it well. Pray to discern what is broken and what is not. Fix what is truly broken and vehemently protect what is not. Acknowledge sin and turn from it. Acknowledge God in all you do and He will direct your paths. What better Director could there possibly be.
Maxim, it will be your birthday soon. May you continue to see the blessings all around you and be a good steward of each. Give God all the credit and honor for the opportunities that come your way. It is truly His hand that has brought you to this land and to this family. Welcome to America!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
God's Encouraging Hand
We have really seen God at work already since Maxim's cast came off on the 30th, just two days ago. Although we are still amazed at how truly shrunken his legs are right now due to such prolonged time in casts, he has a long way to go in catching up to some semblance of normal body weight (he is even swallowed up in 2T pants right now), and he has lost some of his great upper body strength because the cast did all the work for him the past 6 1/2 weeks, we have so much to be encouraged by.
He has not required more than the typical tylenol or motrin for the expected joint pain. He has not needed any at all since 3am today and it is now 1:30pm. Although he is fragile when lifted and we have to be really careful not to bump his hip or legs, he actually rolls over and will get up on all fours and move a little on his own.
When the cast came off, I think I mentioned they put a foam piece between his legs to keep them somewhat apart until his new brace is ready, expecting it would take until at least the 20th. Well, I called Mary Free Bed Orthotics, where we have been many times in working with Cyan's CP over the years and they were able to fit Maxim in for measuring yesterday afternoon. At first the woman at the front desk said it could still take quite some time to receive the actual brace due to frequent delays with our particular insurance companies. She said that neither company is good about giving approval over the phone. However, by the end of the day yesterday, we not only had the phone approval from both insurances, but a confirmation that if we didn't mind driving to Grand Rapids again, we could have the brace TODAY! It is ready now. So that's where Maxim and I are headed right after Brina's orthodontist appointment this afternoon. What a whirlwind, but soooo encouraging.
Dr. Reinhart did not intend to prescribe any physical therapy until the brace was ready, so we are now two weeks ahead of the game. I called her office to let her know the brace is ready and she immediately faxed a prescription for Maxim's therapy to begin ASAP at our local hospital's rehab department. Very exciting. These are people that have worked with Cyan a lot over the years too, so we already have a good trusting relationship with them.
He has not required more than the typical tylenol or motrin for the expected joint pain. He has not needed any at all since 3am today and it is now 1:30pm. Although he is fragile when lifted and we have to be really careful not to bump his hip or legs, he actually rolls over and will get up on all fours and move a little on his own.
When the cast came off, I think I mentioned they put a foam piece between his legs to keep them somewhat apart until his new brace is ready, expecting it would take until at least the 20th. Well, I called Mary Free Bed Orthotics, where we have been many times in working with Cyan's CP over the years and they were able to fit Maxim in for measuring yesterday afternoon. At first the woman at the front desk said it could still take quite some time to receive the actual brace due to frequent delays with our particular insurance companies. She said that neither company is good about giving approval over the phone. However, by the end of the day yesterday, we not only had the phone approval from both insurances, but a confirmation that if we didn't mind driving to Grand Rapids again, we could have the brace TODAY! It is ready now. So that's where Maxim and I are headed right after Brina's orthodontist appointment this afternoon. What a whirlwind, but soooo encouraging.
Dr. Reinhart did not intend to prescribe any physical therapy until the brace was ready, so we are now two weeks ahead of the game. I called her office to let her know the brace is ready and she immediately faxed a prescription for Maxim's therapy to begin ASAP at our local hospital's rehab department. Very exciting. These are people that have worked with Cyan a lot over the years too, so we already have a good trusting relationship with them.
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