the campau journey - to adoption and beyond

Two Remarkable Boys and a Must Read

2010-06-14T06:35:00.004-04:00

I am writing while everyone else is still sleeping or already on the road for the day (Daniel is headed to Atlanta for the week).

Sometimes, as life goes on, I can forget the markers of how blessed we have been. I can forget how much we have. Not necessarily tangible, but just by being here at all, we have enough, or access to enough. Sometimes we just don't help each other recognize it very well. Sometimes we ourselves don't appreciate it, so someone else never sees, through us, how blessed they are as well.

Two reminders stand out to me lately. First, I read a book over the last couple of weeks that is hard to get off my mind. It is called The Boy from Baby House 10. It is an amazing, extremely well written account of one boy who survived the Russian orphanage system. It is an important read for adoptive parents whose children came from the post-Soviet countries, and it is an incredible testimony of how God really does know where each person is on the planet and He will truly move mountains to rescue us. Miracle of God is the only way to explain how this boy was lifted out of that setting and set on his feet in a loving home in Pennsylvania. Read it to understand the effect of institutionalization, read it to understand some of the idiosyncracies and mind-sets of the post-Soviet countries which affect how their orphans are cared for (or not), and read it to see the beautiful work of God's hand which transcends the failings of people. If you have already completed an adoption from a post-Soviet country and your child has been home for awhile, this book may very well rekindle your passion for children in these areas, and certainly re-ignite gratitude to the Father that He rescued your child as well. Some orphanages are better than others. Some of the people who work in these orphanages do care about the children and are trying to nurture them. Some children in these places are getting three meals a day. But don't be fooled. It is not a system that breeds hope or vision in these kids. They are in survival mode, scrambling for attention and love and some sense of why they even wake up in the morning. So read the book, that you not be among those who no longer see and appreciate and focus on what we do have instead of what we don't have. So you won't be among those who never look out to see what someone else is missing and needing.

My other reminder of how good we really have it is just watching Maxim in his spica cast. He is so resilient and good natured, for the most part, even in this stiff, plastic-lined case which surrounds him at the moment. I can learn from that.

Aside from the context of his broken leg, I just see Maxim growing in his understanding of the language, in his ability to connect with others and build friendships without thinking he has to be the boss anymore, not being afraid of thunder storms anymore. He is very persistent to observe what's going on around him, sometimes bordering on nosy, and soaking in information. And I love his singing. He definitely loves music. He truly has not let his current circumstances get him down. And even if we were to find ourselves going through this again, with multiple surgeries still projected, I have to keep proper perspective. We are going through all of this because God Himself saw a little boy in Ukraine and saw fit to pick him up and set him in our family, supplying us with everything we have needed to embrace him and take care of him. God is good. God is good. God is good.

Speaking of Maxim, we had an interesting turn of events. The Wednesday before last, I took him in for his official post-op check with the specialist. X-rays were taken and then we waited for her to come in. She put up the pictures and said there was no remarkable change in the bone. Barely any improvement since the surgery to set it. She remarked about the length of time he would be in the cast, in passing. Twenty-one weeks! I couldn't believe it. No one had said a word about this to us. I had been assuming that it would be about eight weeks like his time in the spica cast after the hip reconstruction last year. But no, she really said twenty-one weeks. I just looked at her and said I knew it would not have changed the length of time but it would have been very nice to be clued in from the beginning.

Anyway, she knew we had some travels planned and we talked about all of that as well.
We are flying out to Washington State for a wedding in August, and Sukkot is coming up at the end of September this year. We'll be driving down to Missouri for that. The cast does not prevent Maxim from traveling easily as it is at an angle which allows Maxim to be propped in an almost normal sitting position. As we discussed these scenarios, the specialist was commenting about Maxim's cast coming off right before our September trip, and then doing his next surgery (more work on the right hip) on October 1. Then she just stopped for a minute and said, "You know, maybe Maxim will surprise us; bring him back in six weeks and if I see no evidence of the break, from any angle, at that point, I will take the cast off then." It was an immediate glimmer of hope from the Father, I believe. I had already felt very strongly that the next surgery should not be done without some kind of buffer out of casts in between, so he can use his legs and nurture some good range of motion again.

I believe the Father is giving us some reassurance here. So four weeks from now, may we walk into the specialists office and may the x-rays be beyond encouraging! I know the recommendation is that even if the cast comes off earlier than usual, Maxim will still not be encouraged to get on his feet for a couple of months because of the critical nature of recovering from a break in the femur. However, I know my God is bigger than all the facts and statistics. He is able to raise Maxim above all of that. What a great blessing it would be to escape from this cast during this season of beautiful weather and sunshine. Those are great for his bones too, so we pray and wait. Guess what he's doing right now? Laying out in the the living room singing "He has made me glad, He has made me glad; I will rejoice for He has made me glad" at the top of his lungs.

Meanwhile, Brina is in Driver's Ed. and doing great. She made a terrific Key Lime Pie the other night. Not usually my favorite at all but this was sooooooo good! Thanks Brina for the treat.

Things were going so good....

2010-05-21T23:10:00.002-04:00

Well, not only am I going the way of mothers of many and starting to take less pictures of my youngest child, now it's going to be awhile before I have a chance again to take pics of Maxim with his walker. This week, while playing with my other son Joel, his right femur got broken. Poor boys.

Joel is kind of like Maxim's living Disneyland sometimes, giving him rides of all sorts. Joel had just been riding Maxim on his shoulders, as he had done so many times, and was going to gently flip him back down to the floor, hanging on to him the whole time. However, this time, when Joel quickly lifted Maxim up off of his shoulders, he heard a terrible crack and Maxim was immediately wailing.

I took him in to emergency and as he was saying his knee hurt, that's what the physician concentrated on and ordered x-rays for. However, once we got in there and slid his shorts up a little, we saw the swelling in his thigh. He has a spiral fracture. Then, because of his complicated orthopedic history, they decided to transfer him to Grand Rapids for treatment. So let's just say Maxim had a memorable field trip in an ambulance, surgery to set the bone, and will not be using his walker again until July, easily.

But I can still say God is good, God is good, God is good. When Joel heard that awful sound, he had the presence of mind to not let go of Maxim, so he didn't fall and get hurt worse. Joel immediately crumpled to the floor crying, apologizing and praying for his little brother. It gave me a window into his heart; that even though they sometimes irritate each other as will happen with siblings on occasion, he really loves Maxim and would never want to hurt him. I felt bad because when Maxim asked if he was going to have a big cast (spica) or little cast, I assured him that it would just be a little one, only on his leg. However, the doctor opted for the spica cast, to immobilize both of Maxim's upper legs, and I thought for sure Maxim would be angry when he woke up from surgery. He wasn't at all. He has had such a good attitude and has also been sleeping really well, a definite answer to prayers.

Joel was happy when I put Maxim on the phone to talk to him. "Maxim, do you still love me?", he asked.

Maxim just wanted to talk about the cool movie he was watching. TV is a big deal to him since we don't have one at home.

Joel said, "That's great Maxim, but do you still love me?"

"Yup." as the reply.

Joel was soooo relieved.

I would not wish this on anyone, but I see blessings in it already. I met and could pray for people I wouldn't have connected with otherwise. Nurses who saw Maxim before, at past surgeries, could see him again and hear about all the progress he's made over the last year. They don't often get to see kids again and know they've made a difference. In my prayer time during the surgery and afterward, God taught me about being patient even when I'm tired, and that it's important even in the thick of care giving to take care of ourselves. It's the first time I have felt at peace to just go take a shower after Maxim was settled comfortably in his bed, and lie down myself to sleep that night. At one in the morning, Maxim was awake and watching Shrek and I said, "Maxim, I have to go to sleep now. See you in the morning." He said, "Okay Mama; Maxim watch movie." I layed down in the bed next to his and he watched the end of the movie. Then we both went to sleep. He had a great sleep that night and last night as well.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for walking us through the unexpected and showing us bright spots within it.

The Walker Is In the Building

2010-05-04T22:26:00.003-04:00

Maxim's walker finally came! After a wait of about eight weeks, easily. I've explained it before, but our insurance for Maxim works in this manner:

A claim is first submitted to our primary insurance, which Daniel has through work.
Whatever the primary insurance will not fully cover is then submitted to our state insurance for disabled children. So more people involved equals longer wait. I don't remember such a long wait for equipment with Cyan and all of her CP paraphernalia years ago, but I guess I would rather have the state go over our claim with a fine-toothed comb to make sure we're legitimate than be throwing funds every which way without discretion.

So how is the little man with his new wheels? Wonderful! The walker was delivered by UPS this past Friday. We had guests over for Shabbat dinner (Uncle Timothy and Aunt Shannon who Maxim really likes to see). Maxim wanted to make extra trips to the bathroom during the meal just so he could use the walker.

On Shabbat, we took the walker to church with us figuring he would enjoy it part of the time. He used it all day long, with the exception of lunch time after the service and inside Grandpa and Grandma's house in the evening, since they have white carpet and Maxim had already used it outside.

On Sunday, he spotted Daniel's Uncle Roy and Aunt Laurie out for a walk with their dog. They came over for a moment as he was walking up the sidewalk and agreed he should walk right over for a visit when they returned. He sat outside watching until they were finally back and made the trek across the street with me. They presented him with a little beach chair they thought he would enjoy and he sat their eating hot buttered corn in a bowl while informing them that he really likes their blue house and is going to come live with them. He still believes that if he tells enough people what he wants that he will always get it. So much for that plan. He will still be living with Papa and Mama.

I know it's pitiful that I don't have a whole slew of photos for this occasion. It really is exciting to see him standing his tallest and taking off. Today, for the first time, I had to tell him to slow down and just walk. He already has the desire to take off running toward whatever appeals to him. So I guess you can say we're off and running.

Praise God, the Most High, our Heavenly Abba Daddy! Thank You for some wind in our sails!

The View from Today

2010-04-14T08:16:00.004-04:00

After a long hiatus, here I am writing again. It's good to be back.
So what might you find in a home that is now one year and three months down the pike from an international adoption?

Here's a snapshot of our home at the moment. Maxim is holding his own and gaining in every way. He has gone from 31 pounds when we brought him home in January 2009, to 40 pounds today. He continues twice weekly physical therapy sessions to build up strength, endurance and flexibility. He has learned how to ride a trike and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of his walker. He has been working really hard with the one available at therapy and the order is taking a really long time to get through all the insurance hoops. Having said that, I feel so blessed that we are where we are. Michigan has a very generous state insurance for kids with disabilities up to at least age 17, depending on the severity of their condition. Whatever our primary insurance does not cover completely, the state insurance takes care of. It is, I believe, one example of a good use of taxes. It saves many families from having to choose whether or not to provide a special needs child with what they really need or not. At the same time, the state does not want to waste the money so they take a long time to evaluate orders so only real needs are tackled.
Anyway, we are in the wait for Maxim's wheels. He is also making good progress in his schooling now. The day before yesterday, he read to me for the first time. He is very good at word searches, I Spy, and Where's Waldo? type things. I'm excited, as well, that he is getting up and crawling in a good pattern, when walking is not an option. I know that patterning is very important, even for a child who can't get on his feet at all, because it's intricately connected to how we process all kinds of information. For example, it has been proven that children who don't learn the proper patterns of movement for crawling have greater difficulty with reading later in life.

Cyan continues to grow too. She is eighteen and still finding her way with CP as part of the picture. We are experimenting with making videos of her worship dance for YouTube. I can't find much in the way of special needs dancers out there, but I know that it's an inspiration to watch Cyan. It's one of the times she feels most free and it touches others to see how physical limitations don't have to hold us back from praising the Father. As Cyan enters adulthood, I find myself second guessing myself a lot regarding choices we've made for her education and care over the years. I know all parents second guess themselves along the way, but maybe we parents of special needs kids are worse about it. I can only say, it crosses my mind more often in the last few months that maybe we didn't make all the best choices for Cyan, so what is best now? To her advantage now, I am more focused these days on not only looking at the options available for her, but also (and more importantly) asking the Heavenly Father for wisdom and actually expecting Him to lead us. He really is faithful to direct us beautifully when we acknowledge Him in everything we do. That's what He promised He would do. One of Cyan's favorite things to do besides dancing, is making videos. She bought a Flip video camera a couple of months ago, after looking for a long time for something easy for her to use with only one easily functional hand. I recommend this camera highly. Anyone can use it with one hand and the flip-out drive makes is extremely simple to load video on your computer. She has really enjoyed it.

Brina is on the mad dash to finish up this school year which has been very full for her. She has blossomed in her fiddling, her braces are a thing of the past, and braved debate class, even though she never would have chosen it. It's been a good way to stretch her, as she is definitely the most shy of all our kids. She is also finishing up College Plus Prep, which is a great Christian organization which coaches high school students to CLEP out of as many college course as possible so they can get their degrees sooner and at a lower cost. At this point, Brina is not sure she wants to actually go away to college, but this allows her to further her education at that level in the mean time.

Joel continues to thoroughly enjoy the trumpet. The concert band is in will be participating in will be at State Festival at the end of the month, as will Symphony Orchestra where Brina plays violin. Their Spring concerts are on back to back evenings next week. Too bad Daniel has to be in Germany for a show, so he'll miss it this time. Joel bought a camera too and is clicking away at anything and everything. His camera also impresses me, as Cyan's did. It takes both video and still shots; especially good for arranging panoramas and a terrific zoom. Joel is also doing College Plus and is now the tallest individual in our household. Daniel was especially bummed to find this out right before his travels. Seems such a short time ago (no pun intended) that we were peering down at all our children. Oh well, such is life.

We are all excitedly anticipating the year ahead. God has opened the door wide for us to buy a ten-acre parcel of land about thirty minutes south of our present home, with a vision to grow good food, raise some animals, bond even more thoroughly as a family, and stay completely open to any way God wants to bless others through the place too. We close on the land May 12.

Daniel has more international travel ahead after Germany. Canada in May and Israel in June, as it stands right now. The teens and I are looking into an opportunity to serve in Haiti while Daniel is away in Israel. Maxim will most likely spend that time at Grandpa and Grandma's house, as he loves being there (anticipating a ride or two on the tractor) and the sights and sounds of Haiti at the moment would be too much for him to process yet. It may be for us too, but God has been impressing on us that it is important for us to see what others experience from day to day so we can learn from them, help them and also more fully appreciate all that we have.

The icing on the cake, as far as travels, will be seeing my oldest niece, Naomi, walk down the aisle out in Washington State on August 8.

Wow, what a year this will be!

So you see, life post-adoption is about much more than adjustment and surgery recovery and such. That is just one important thread in the giant fabric of our family and all that God is doing in it and through it.

15, 20, 35, 46, 77

2010-01-29T08:43:00.004-05:00

I promise these numbers have nothing to do with a lottery. They are not the "get rich quick" numbers of the day, but we feel rich because of them. They are the numbers of seconds that Maxim has stood with only his crutches and no other assistance on different occasions in the last couple of weeks. Progress little by little. On January 14, he took just a few steps, both at home and at therapy. Although he has taken no steps with the crutches alone since then, we are so encouraged. On November 10 last year, I was praying for him and asking God about his walking; wanting to know, as his mom, what Maxim can hope for. As I was praying, God impressed on me that Maxim was going to walk on January 14. I hesitated to tell anyone but our household about it, specifically, because I have heard so many people say they heard times and dates from God about all kinds of things, and they have been wrong. I don't like to get into discussions about when someone thinks something is going to happen, and the speculations that can swirl around. I apologize now, for not being more courageous in sharing the gift I received of encouragement from the Heavenly Father, right down to the date. I was pridefully afraid of being looked at as some kind of wacky woman instead of concentrating on "Look what God is about to do! Watch this!" We need to hear each other's testimonies of how He is working in our lives, so we don't forget He is the same awesome One who has always performed miracles and will never stop. Anyway, when I heard what I heard (in distinct thought rather than audible) back in November, I went ahead and wrote it down in ink in my prayer diary and began to hope and look forward. At the time, Maxim wasn't even out of his last casts yet, so I knew it could only be by God's help. On January 13, I started to feel anxious. I felt like I needed to wrestle and remind God what He said; sort of fight for Maxim. But at a prayer meeting that night, the thing that kept coming up in conversation and the prayers I heard was "Be still and know that I am God". We need to be quiet and see what God will do sometimes. And trust the promises He has already made. He is not a liar. So I began to relax. The next day, Maxim took those first steps. Both times, I or the therapist had our hands in contact lightly with the crutches but knew that Maxim was absolutely doing everything. The thing is, because he saw that we were still touching the crutches, I don't think he really gets what he accomplished. He sure understood, last night, however, when he stood for Papa for 77 seconds. It was even while he wasn't feeling terrific (he has an ear infection) and the dog hurried by and startled him. He maintained his balance and began to beam. What do you think you can't stand in the middle of? God is right there to steady you and let you know that someday you really will be able to throw away all of your crutches and stand on just the Rock. Isn't that an awesome thing to look forward to? Let your heart rest in that today. And when those crutches do fall away, and you realize what you can do in Him, turn around and tell someone else your story.

Gotcha Come and Gone

2009-12-28T07:29:00.002-05:00

We celebrated Maxim's gotcha day quietly on December 23. It was the one year anniversary of the day we received in our hands the Ukrainian judge's decree, finalizing our adoption of Maxim Matthew Campau. I can't believe it's already been a year in some ways; on the other hand, so much has happened since bringing him home, how could it possibly have only been a year?!

We kept the acknowledgement of the day low key since all of the rest of us have actual December or January birthdays and we didn't want to confuse Maxim at this point. Birthdays were not acknowledged regularly at the orphanage he spent so much time in, so the whole concept is still something of a mystery to him. I think it's beginning to make sense though, and next July when he turns eight, I'm sure he will "get" why we're making such a big deal out of him.

A lot of interesting things have played together in the last few day in surprising ways, giving us a glimpse of how Maxim is feeling after a year in his very own family.

On Maxim's gotcha day, we watched a slide show of all the photos Daniel and I took while we were in Ukraine. Then we switched over to the videos we made, and that is what really grabbed his attention. He has wanted to sit and watch them all again several times in the last few days. We asked him if he remembered certain teachers and such, but it seems to be more a feeling than actual people and places that mean the most to him. Obviously, when Daniel and I were there to begin the adoption process and get to know Maxim, the attention we could give him was undivided; fun and loving and focused on him. I think watching these videos has reminded Maxim that it can't be that way within our home now. Love and attention, yes, but probably never again as focused and undivided just for him as we could then, until his older siblings leave the nest. Seeing this, I realize it was a blessing to have to stay in Ukraine as long as we did before bringing him home. As much as I disliked much of the confusion and corruption around us in the country, and those things make it hard to wholeheartedly recommend Ukrainian adoption to anyone, Maxim personally needed the time it took to bring him home.

Just a few days before his gotcha day, we had selected several dvds at the library, one of which was from the National Geographic series, In The Womb. This particular episode dealt with pregnancies with multiples. The computer generation and 4D imaging is incredible and we were all really intrigued watching it. Amazed again at God's perfect hand. I checked it out just thinking it would be interesting but Maxim was really amazed. He asked many times about who had been inside me and did the doctor help them come out? He asked about being in me, and I explained as I have before that he had a mama before me, far away in Ukraine, and he grew inside her.

In addition, a few days ago, we borrowed a baby doll for a completely unrelated purpose, and Maxim has wanted to pick it up and care for it regularly since then; it liked taking it in the tub and washing it. He kept it with him while he ate more than once and assured me he only let the baby have chicken,turkey and gum. I have seen him sit and rock the doll.

All of these things together let me see him processing what it's like to be a baby cared for by others; what it must have been like for him. It drills it into my head once again that we can't get that time back for him, but we have to love him like crazy now. Not spoiling in any way, but doing our best to make sure he knows he is absolutely loved. He will always have questions about what happened before he became a Campau, but may he never doubt love and security where he is now.

His physical therapy is going very well. He really likes Jenny, who works with him twice a week, and tries hard to do everything she asks of him. They are working not only on getting up on his feet with the aid of his little blue crutches, but also on building up core strength so he can increase his balance and endurance.

Looking at all of the pictures/videos from last year was bitter sweet to us for one particular reason: it was really shocking to realize how much mass Maxim really lost due to all of the castings and surgeries he has gone through. His legs at this point are about half the diameter they were when we brought him home. The process that is leading to him being able to walk soon really took him to the brink of what he could afford to lose. It makes me sad to see what he's lost in healthy roundness, but I know Who the Restorer is; the Giver of every good thing; the Redeemer. I know there are good days in the hands of the Author and Finisher. He knows what He's doing.

Along with Maxim's progress, our other children are reaching major milestones. Cyan just turned eighteen, so we are officially the parents of an adult now. God is continuing to give her vision for life ahead, even if she doesn't see the fulfillment of healing from CP yet. She is setting goals and pressing on.

Brina turned sixteen on the 25th and just got her braces off a month ago. Her ears are newly pierced, which she has waited a long time for, per Papa's wishes. Driver's ed is sounding very appealing to her, and just looking for what God has for her in the days ahead.

Joel is fourteen now, as of December 7, and has changed so much this year. No more buzz cuts, thank you very much. He is at that stage where wrestling and building treehouses and such still hold great appeal, but he's searching for greater challenge too.

I love that all the kids still love hugs and time together. May this never change, even though they must spread their wings a little more every day. One doesn't have to negate the other.

walking masterpiece

2009-12-07T22:56:00.003-05:00

Maxim is taking his first steps these days, with help. He is eager to keep trying and to take a little more weight on his feet and legs with each passing day. His crutches should be ready by the 11th and his first physical therapy appointment to begin training with them is set for the 15th. A great adventure ahead for him, no doubt. I thought you might enjoy seeing the beginnings of his new life up on his feet.

Made New

2009-12-01T08:16:00.015-05:00

It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me
Daniel 4:2

BEAUTIFUL FEET

FIRST SHOES

Finally, I can post some pictures. Our camera was out of commission and it wasn't in the budget to repair it. However, Daniel had wisely purchased the two year warranty for it last year, so off it went to the manufacturer. Once I sent it to them, they were very quick to fix it and send it right back. It arrived back at our house in tip-top shape the day before Thanksgiving. What perfect timing.

The day Maxim's last little casts came off, all the other kids decided to go too so they could see his "new feet" as soon as possible. Actually, some of them didn't stay in the room with him the whole time because, once again, he was really freaked out by the cast saw. He has definitely had it with that process. I'm sure he will be a very happy camper if he never has to see another cast saw. Us too. Anyway, once the casts were off and his feet were unwrapped, he was smiling. A little concerned at first because of some tickly feelings, but he seems to have gotten used to the new sensations for the most part.

We were very excited once Maxim received his afo's (ankle-foot orthotics - plastic braces that fit down the back of his lower legs and into his shoe for support). They are such a great fit. Cyan has been through them many times in the past so I've seen a lot. These looked perfect right away. Maxim was a little scared at first, about moving his newly freed legs and also that the braces would hurt. Once they were on though, he was good with it.

We couldn't resist heading to the stores right away to buy Maxim's first shoes. Target first, but nothing wide enough. Based on past experience with Cyan, we headed to Payless Shoes. They are good about carrying wide widths and styles that allow the tongue of the shoe to be folded back further too; key factors when you're trying to fit shoes on a child with afo's.

I was feeling a little guilty about spending so much on shoes, but after we saw how each of the three pair looked on Maxim, how well they fit, how happy he was to see them on his feet, and Joel said, "Just think, Mom, this is a lot less than you've spent on all of our (older kids') shoes over the years.", I went to the cash register with all of them. Now I don't regret it at all. He really enjoys deciding which ones to wear to which place.

I will admit that the picture I have posted here is the most flattering of the shots we took of Maxim's feet at this point. They are by no means perfect. To give you an idea, they basically look like the feet of a baby who has never born weight on their feet. Straight, fat, and still a little curved on the bottom. However, the curve is in the opposite direction that his feet were turning when we first brought him home. Last January, his feet turned severely under and toward each other. Now, like I said, they are kind of chubby and curved in the proper direction. We are thrilled because now they can slip into the afo's and then into shoes.

The next day, we were off to Dr. Reinhart, the specialist's, office. Maxim wanted to show her how he could take some steps with Mama's support. That was what he had wanted to do over and over the whole evening before. He really wants to take off!
She looked at new x-rays of his right hip, his level of upper body strength, and his drive and decided to prescribe lofstrand crutches (Sp?) instead of a walker. She feels he is ready. These are the crutches that do not come all the way under the arm. They have a cuff at the top that wraps around the forearm and a handle on each one for the hand to grasp. Maxim's are now on order. He asked for silver ones and they should be ready on December 11.

The best part is that the evening after we had been to the specialists, Daniel and I were with the kids at a prayer meeting we enjoy attending on Wednesday nights. Enjoy is an understatement, actually. We have been soooooo refreshed and stretched at the same time by these gatherings of people who can testify to God's transforming power in their every day lives and pour the resulting exploding faith into prayer. Fervent effective prayer. Anyway, while we were there, listening to testimonies, Maxim just wanted to walk walk walk. I walked him as long as my back could stand but I finally had to sit down. While we sat there, listening to others, Maxim quietly slid down off his chair and, hanging on tightly to chairs and knees around him, he walked himself down the row from me to Daniel. Such an awesome thing to see. I really believe he is going to do much more, go much further, than many people think. Between God's healing love and Maxim's own persistence, his potential is incredible.
I believe Maxim will continue to be a testimony that God cannot be contained in our boxes.

conformed

2009-11-17T08:09:00.004-05:00

This a day like any other in that we're getting up, eating breakfast, preparing for work and school and some scattered afternoon appointments.

This is also a day like no other because by tonight we'll all see Maxim's new feet. The fruit of almost a year of castings, and surgery. Great anticipation.

This morning I'm thinking of the scripture that says how beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God Reigns!".

I'm thinking about the scriptures that call us to be conformed; transformed from head to toe, inside and out, by the One Whose love is perfect and Who is Almighty.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is; His good and pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the LORD's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the Spirit." II Corinthians 3:18

However God chooses to manifest healing in our lives, we get to be tools in His hand to proclaim the goods news, the peace, the One Who is salvation.

I think it's going to be really neat to see how Maxim's life continues to unfold. He will have such a testimony of God's generous mercy. We all will. May he stand on those two feet, always ready to give an answer for the hope that is in him, and ready to tell Who his help came from.

I will post pictures as soon as I can. We have no operating digital camera at the moment.

Walls and the Conquerer of Them All

2009-11-09T22:43:00.008-05:00

Today is a milestone in many ways.

It is an anniversary of many things. Two stand out in my mind. One year ago today, Daniel and I had our first several hour visit with the little boy who would become our son. Our Maxim was just a little guy we'd met face to face for the first time only two days prior and we were off on the road to getting acquainted with him. It never occurred to us that anything would keep us from bringing him home. It never occurred to us how long it would take to accomplish the task. It was simply a matter of being set on a particular road by the Almighty and just walking it out with naive confidence. Weeks later, our faith would be tested and become a little wobbly because we were learning that the road God puts us on is not always comfortable. It's not always the neat little package of predictability we assumed we would receive. But one year ago today, we were just marvelling at Heavenly goodness and this charming little boy God connected us to. Who knew the bureaucratic walls of red tape we'd need to scale.

Today is also the anniversary of the crumbling of the Berlin Wall, that monstrous monument of the Cold War which divided and depleted and degraded countless families for years under the shadow of the Soviet Union. Twenty years ago, that wall came down.

In the summer of 1986, Daniel and I had just met as we traveled throughout Europe, and we found ourselves on an organized tour of the Bundestag, West Germany's parliament. Someone in our group asked the official leading the tour if he envisioned that the Iron Curtain would ever fall. He stated that he couldn't imagine such a thing happening in his lifetime.

Three years later, the wall came down.

Ten years after that, we brought our new son home from a former Soviet country.

Isn't it amazing how God brings down walls! He is powerful powerful powerful. He is merciful merciful merciful. Nothing nothing nothing is impossible for Him. He is the absolute Almighty. I know I have sung countless hymns and praise songs proclaiming this truth over the years but, honestly, I have not really taken it all the way to my core.

What's the "wall" in your life you haven't thought He can conquer? What's the thing you still believe is too big?

Yes, there will be unanswered questions. That's part of the faith road. We don't get to see the whole vision of what God is doing; every little detail. It would be too much for us to comprehend even if we could see it. Sometimes, because we don't have the entire scenario, from beginning to end, laid out in front of us, we begin to make assumptions and we well up with fear.

At the end of September, Maxim had to be recasted because the cast he had after having his club feet straightened just didn't fit quite right. He had had countless casts taken off and replaced over the last year, as I've mentioned before, but this time he was full of fear. Overwhelmed and terrified. I realized, after he was able to calm slightly and express himself, he had been thinking that when the casts came off he would have no feet. He thought they were gone. He had been running on faith for weeks, thinking his feet were going to be gone but Daniel and I seemed pretty cool and collected so it must be okay. But when it came to the moment where he might see for himself, he couldn't take it. Isn't it amazing that he would think such a thing?! Even more amazing that he was not visibly bothered by it at all until the day of the recasting. What a burden to be carrying all by himself! He didn't know the big picture; he assumed he did and he was overcome.

In our relationship with God, even though He is not going to give us the complete, down to every speck, blue print of what He is doing, we know from scripture that He is love and that what He as planned is better than anything we could ever imagine. Challenging, yes. Uncomfortable sometimes, definitely. Worth it? More than we can possibly know.

Maxim didn't know how to fully express what was on his mind as we approached the recasting in September. He didn't know how to ask for comfort, or if he should, for some reason. With God, we have the blessing of being able to ask Him for wisdom, peace, healing, patience, and all those things that make our journey bearable. Knowing we can commune with Him and He will incline (the image in scripture is like a daddy bending down to listen to his child) His ear to us, brings tremendous comfort along the way. We never have to carry the burden of uncertainty alone

Today, the last of Maxim's full length casts were removed. He was sedated so he didn't have to watch the process. When he woke up in the recovery room, he reached down with his hands to touch his legs. He has peered down many times to look at his toes and say "hello" again. His knees, which have been cooped up in casts for the majority of this year, are tender and will take time to regain strength and flexibility.

One wall of fear has collapsed on Maxim's road to recovery. Something deemed impossible by those around him at this time last year is now just around the corner; walking.

Nothing is impossible for the Heavenly Father.

Today, as we were driving home from the hospital, Maxim suddenly said, "Hey, God help Maxim today!" I replied, "You're right; did you tell Him thank you."? Immediately Maxim said Thank you Yahweh (God). Then he paused for a moment and said "God said You're Welcome."

Back from the Brink

2009-10-13T09:04:00.005-04:00

What a month this has been. Once again, writing has fallen by the wayside as we just make our way day to day.

The road after Maxim's last surgery has not been easy. It has reallllly humbled me but God is so merciful and kind.

Going into September, I had noticed in myself a lot more fatigue and having a harder time keeping a good attitude. Harder time being patient with the kids and it was coming out in ways that were not helpful to Maxim as he was dealing with his own discomfort and not sleeping well. Aware, as I said in the last post, that God is supplying us but just plain tired and not handling it in the most constructive ways.

Something about Maxim's surgery on his feet, which of course changed the location of the nerves in his feet along with everything else, made him hyper sensitive to all the new sensations. At first, it seems the cast on the left was to tight at the knee (these casts go all the way to the upper thigh, just like his original weekly casts did from February to May) so they had scored (slightly cracked) it down both sides to relieve pressure while we were still in the hospital. Then he began to be absolutely beside himself distracted with how his left foot was feeling. He insisted it did not hurt, but tickled or itched. I tried three different anti-itch ointments to no avail. He literally could not eat or sleep without touching/massaging his feet or having someone else do the same almost constantly. His appetite actually went down to nothing and it was becoming a point of battle which I didn't want it to be and yet he was just disappearing on us. More stressing was the fact that he wasn't loking forward to walking someday and doing whatever it took to get there. He even told Joel he didn't think God was helping him anymore.

That is a really scary place for someone you love to be. You can't make them believe God is with them and cares. They have to latch onto it for themselves, but Maxim had truly lost his resolve.

Finally, it clicked that he was just plain tired of the whole process (wouldn't any of us be after months and months in casts and multiple surgeries with painful recoveries) and most likely experiencing some different physical sensations either due to the new position of everything in his feet, and didn't know how to process it mentally or emotionally. So I called the specialist and explained what was going on.

On the 26th, Daniel came home from work to find me emotionally shot, Maxim in his bedroom crying uncontrollably and knew we had hit a wall, so to speak. Knowing that in my own physical and emotional fatigue I had to find some quiet time to cool down, I had put Maxim in his room to "cry it out". I know not everyone agrees with that idea and I did not do it with any of my other kids, but I knew that it was the best thing for both of us. God was going to have to speak into both our hearts separately before we'd mesh well together again.

So Daniel, knowing that I had had some time to pray and felt willing and eager to receive God's leading, sent me in our room with pen and paper to write in my prayer diary, while instructing our kids not to bother me and doing what he could to restore calm in Maxim.

God really spoke quiet, gentle but pointed, direction into my heart during the time. I wrote down the impressions He gave me about how no adoptive parent can make up for the time our child has lost before joining our family. Sometimes we have to set aside all of our well-intentioned ideas about how to parent that child and be willing to take a different course than expected. I felt that He spoke right to my heart about what Maxim actually needs versus what I thought he needed. He needs love, order, peace, opportunities to explore and observe, patience, reassurance that he does not have to be perfect. God reassured me that Maxim is very smart and he is going to do just fine catching up on academic basics in time. He does not me to invent some rigid regiment to "fix him" or make up for what he never had before. God spoke into my heart and mind that Maxim (and all of our children) belongs to Him, He has a perfect plan for him, and I need to stop behaving like the responsibility is all mine. I am just a simple tool in God's hands and if I get my pride out of the way and rest in that, things will fall into place.

By the time I came out of that prayer time, Daniel was at the dining table with Maxim finishing the homework I had asked him to do earlier and everything in the house was at peace.

I felt so humbled that we can be very burned out and truly not even recognize it. But God is so good to scoop us up and refresh us.

We were able to go in to Grand Rapids on September 29 and she recasted both sides. She also put Maxim on a different medication to calm his nerves overall so the new feelings would not be so overwhelming.

Let me tell you about the recasting first. It was really intense and so intriguing; I think it will help other dealing with reconstructive issues in their children.

After all the castings Maxim has already been through, he knows exactly what to expect when a cast is coming off. Basically the drill goes like this: pants come off but undies stay on, doctor/nurse gives Maxim headphones to protect his ears from the loud noise of the vibrating saw, the machine goes on and the cast is removed. The saw looks really scary, but the nurse always shows Maxim how she can put it on herself and not be cut. We always tell him if it starts to feel hot, that's when he needs to tell us "hot" and they'll take a break to let the "blade" cool. Soon the cast is off and his feet and legs get washed and new casts are put on.

This time was quite different. Maxim completely lost it crying and screaming desperately. I had propped him up a little so he could see, because he normally wants to watch the whole process. However, he was so upset this time, I pulled one side of the headphones away from his ear and asked if he was hurting. He said "No, scary scary scary." I asked if he still wanted to watch. He said yes but he really was so terrified, especially the closer they got to actually opening the casts and taking them off. I realized he was scared of what he was going to see. Of course he knew the doctor had opened his foot and helped him. That's all he understood but now was the time to see what that meant.

When the casts came off, he had to keep his feet very still because the pins are still in until November 9 and his knees were very tender at the slightest movement because joints are always that way after being locked up for long periods.

His feet look BEAUTIFUL! Straight and the incisions were clean and healing well. As soon as the new casts were on (Red and Orange), he was back to himself. He turned to Cyan who was next in line to see Dr. Reinhart (to repair ongoing issues in her right foot due to the CP) and said "Okay Cyan, your turn"

It has taken a couple of weeks since then, but through the prayers of people who have prayed for us, not even knowing fully what was going on, we have greater peace and optimism back again. Maxim is full of such a great attitude and confidence again, excited to try new things, sleeping better, etc.

Through many prayers and through a very refreshing time away from home celebrating Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles) in Missouri with many old and new friends, God has brought such comfort back to us. Thank You Father!!!! And, of course, that appointment to be recasted right before our trip helped tremendously. Maxim's specialist was so quick to see what he needed and accomodate him. These were terrific blessings over the last couple of weeks. Maxim really enjoyed his very first Sukkot as we had hoped.

We are just three weeks now from getting these last casts off (November 9). During the sedation, Maxim will also be fitted for his very first leg braces to support him as he learns to walk. He will be starting physical therapy by December, so this is a really exciting time. Demanding, challenging, but absolutely worth it if we're keeping our eyes on the big picture.

Maxim, as you prepare to stand on your own two feet for the first time very soon, don't forget the words to the song all the little children learned at the Feast this year: Thy Word is a Lamp Unto My Feet
And a Light Unto My Path

The true Redeemer of the years the locusts have eaten is with you. Walk on.

2009-09-21T07:50:00.003-04:00

Sorry to be so delayed in updating. What a busy, exciting, draining, invigorating, challenging time this has been. Yes, all of those words are appropriate.

On the 11th, I headed to Grand Rapids with Maxim. We arrived at Devos Childrens Hospital at 6:50, ten minutes late technically, but really with plenty of time for signing in and getting prepped for surgery.

Dr. Reinhart came to the surgical waiting area about twenty minutes before the scheduled start time of 8:30 to just go over the details one more time. She said to anticipate at least four hours, maybe even up to six, depending on what they encountered in Maxim's feet. She said that her partner, Dr. Hotchkiss, was confident that they could even be finished in three, but she was not confident in this at all.

Well, just shy of three hours after the surgery began, it was finished. Dr. Reinhart came out and said that in the operating room, Dr. Hotchkiss convinced her to bet on the time in which they could complete the work. She lost and now owes him a Chinese dinner. I am not alarmed at having our doctors doing things like betting how fast they can complete a surgery. It was not a race. It was one doctor's level of confidence, based on more years of experience, over another's. Also, an indicator that they can keep a relaxed light heart while they work, which is not a bad thing.

Maxim requested glow in the dark casts again and once again enjoys seeing those when the lights go out at night.

Recovery has not been a piece of cake by any means but better in a few ways than his hip surgery in May. Overall, his appetite was better right away, although we still desire that he will consistently eat enough to start gaining weight. His weight is still not even a pound more than when we brought him home in January.

His digestion is better too than last time. These strong pain medications are generally extremely constipating and he really struggled with that in May. This time, he was almost back to normal the day we brought him home.

We were admitted on Friday the 11th and came home on Monday the 14th.

Not being able to come home on Sunday was discouraging because we knew Daniel would have to leave for business in Virginia on Monday and be gone most of the week. No fun to come home from the hospital and not see Papa. Also, Brina and Joel were starting some new co-op classes in a new challenging setting on Monday morning and I had really wanted to be there to encourage them (Cyan spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa's house, doing homework and witnessing the production of their amazing applesauce). Grandma and Grandpa and Great Uncle Roy ended up being chauffeurs for Brina and Joel (thank you every one of you for pitching in that day).

Anyway, just having the majority of us together again was great. Daniel and left me a really silly hand made card of encouragement and the kids had made welcome home cards for Maxim and/or me, and left Little Debbie oatmeal creme pies out for each of us.

On the way home from the hospital, I told Maxim we would stop at a store and I would let him pick out two helium balloons to enjoy. Three stores later, we found a place that actually carried them and had a working machine for blowing them up. I had told Maxim he could pick ANY two, so we came home with a giant Winnie the Pooh head and a huge multi-colored umbrella that says Happy Baby Shower on it. Too funny. I guess it's fitting since we didn't know Maxim as a baby and missed the typical festivities that go with preparing for a biological son or daughter.

Here are a few things to help others going into the surgery/recovery experience:

1) pray pray pray before the day
2) get good sleep before the day; hospitals are NOISY; not restful places at all
3) take more toiletries/changes of underwear than you think you need
4) bring things you like to do to pass the time when your child is in surgery and during rest times in the days before you go home.
5) bring things you think your child might enjoy doing to pass the time during those first days after surgery. Sometimes the pain will be such that they just won't be able to really focus well on other things. Sometimes they will be too groggy from medications. However, there will be times when they are alert and ready (they'll let you know) and certain activities can be terrific distractions from discomfort and pain.
puzzles, coloring books, magnetic board games,DVD/CD's from home

Even now that we are home, I find night is the worst time for Maxim. During the day, his mind is on different activities he's is involved or helping/watching others. For example, yesterday he was busy with a Veggie Tales movie, helping make bread and wind yarn, going to Walmart for a few things we needed to prepare for Sukkot, building with Legos, etc. He didn't really have time to think about his legs/feet for the most part.

At night, however, when he is just lying there waiting for sleep to come, every little discomfort, itch, pain in keenly noticed. The timing of his pain meds is better balanced now and he is feeling more independently mobile again so this helps, in that pain is better managed and when he does feel uncomfortable, he knows to get himself into another position he likes instead of being solely at the mercy of what I think he might need.

Two other things to think about if you're on a similar journey with your child or any loved one:

1) I can't emphasize enough, do what you have to do as the caretaker to stay healthy. Sometimes as parents/caretakers, we are so busy attending to someone else's very really needs, we don't think about our own valid requirements for strength and a sound mind. So make yourself sit down, make yourself get the exercise you need, eat real meals (not just quick maybe not so healthy snacks). If you let yourself wear down, it will show up in lack of patience, mindless decision making, and general fatigue.

2) pay close attention to how prescriptions are written out, filled, and labelled. We almost couldn't get refills for Maxim the other day because the original pharmacy noted they had given us a ten day supply when it was actually only 5 1/2.

One really neat thing that makes all of this craziness, pain, stress, worth it (not that I want Maxim to have to go through this or wish it on anyone else) is our awareness that God is teaching us very specific lessons right now in faith, prayer and healing. He is obviously aware of what we're going through and is supplying our needs, as a family and as individuals.

The other night, Cyan was feeling terrible with the flu. Tired, congested, sore throat and violently upset stomach. She had asked me to pray for her so I went into the living room. Maxim was there as well, and when I held Cyan's hand and began to pray, Maxim came over and took her hand as well. When I finished praying, he asked if he could too. I didn't discourage this, but I expected his typical thank you list prayer for every item he has noticed or learned about on a particular day. However, he prayed a very sweet prayer specifically for God to help Cyan feel better and he also thanked God for helping his feet. Wow! How neat to see that milestone of growth in his prayer life and thinking about the needs of others.

Surgeries is no fun. Shy of the miracles we believe in coming to pass, there are more down the road. We so desire Maxim to not have this road but it is his right now. He has a family around him to share it with. Not with perfect skill or attitude at every moment but we are there for him. To adjust his pillows one more time. To carry him to the bathroom. To tip things and lift things at odd angles so he can see and participate, whatever it takes. To give the pain medicines every four hours. To pretend his stuffed dog Lucy needs medicine too and to be turned on her back like him. Etc. To keep praying out loud for him and anointing him with oil and speaking hope and vision into his life.

God is using what Maxim needs to remind us what we all need. Healing of body, mind and spirit from the Only One Who can supply. Maxim is learning to thank God for the little things, and pray boldly for the big things. This happens to be what God is teaching our whole household right now.

So all the words at the beginning of this post fit.

Ready for Miracles

2009-09-10T14:17:00.003-04:00

Dear God,

Give me the strength to be present at my child's pain.
Help me to have faith in his competence.
Help me to be honest with him.
Help me to convey the confidence I have in him.
Spare me the necessity of using force.
Keep me from denying or minimizing what he is experiencing.
Don't let me abandon him in any way because of my own fear and weakness.
Don't let me be overpowered by my frustration and feelings of helplessness.
Remind me that pain is survivable.
Remind me that he knows that I would not permit this if it were not necessary.
Help me bear my suffering with strength, dignity, and honesty and so provide an example that will calm and reassure him.
Remind me that my touch, my smell, my presence are all to him.
Help me to stay here beside him.
Amen.

This was the prayer on another mom, Christine's, blog this morning. It is the perfect encouragement going into Maxim's surgery tomorrow morning. I have so wanted to teach Maxim, as with all my kids, not to be a whiner for no good reason. At the same time, I obviously need to exercise patience and compassion because his journey does include some real pain and discomfort during and after surgeries and therapy.
I don't want to minimize, or blow off, his real need for comforting and encouragment along the way. When a child is disabled, there is an extra challenge that affects the entire household; how to attend to the real needs without making that needy child the center of everything.

Last night, Daniel and I took Cyan and Maxim to a prayer meeting with a group of people who are, like many believers, striving to more fully understand listening to God and nurturing a true two-way communing with Him. Deepening our belief that this is even possible because of the shed blood of Christ affects the confidence and boldness with which we pray. Scripture dictates that we pray without ceasing and without doubt. Hearing the testimonies of others who have experienced God's working in their lives in response to prayer helps us grow in our prayer life.

Anyway, by the time we went to the meeting, I have to admit I was feeling completely spent emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Being fatigued in any of these areas makes praying effectively a challenge.

I learned that when we are tired, we need to be in fellowship with others who are not at the moment. As others prayed for Maxim and Cyan, I realized that they were sensitive at that time to things I was not thinking to pray for because my energy has been stretched in too many directions lately. It was such a relief to hear how God was leading them to lift up certain aspects of our children's lives, even though we had never met before last week. They prayed what needed to be prayed, not because they personally knew us so well, but because they were responding to God's leading of what to lift up for His care.

We are not going to Grand Rapids tomorrow alone. We are going there with the Most High as our High Tower of Strength, Strong Refuge and Healer. It is His will to reveal Himself in places where He has been forgotten or never acknowledged at all. Wouldn't it be amazing if it were in a hospital through the feet of a little boy named Maxim!?

Anticipation

2009-08-25T10:09:00.003-04:00

August is fast coming to a close. In less than a week, the kids and I will be headed home to Michigan. We are enjoying the time here in Washington State with my parents and siblings, but know that there's a lot to look forward to when we're home.

The day after we return, Maxim has his first appointment with his specialist since July 14. He has had such terrific freedom outside any casts since then, but according to the plan, he will again be casted from just over the knee to his toes starting September 1. Then they will do the surgery to correct his feet on the September 11. I will definitely take more pictures of his feet just before that so we can make good comparisons later. After the surgery, the doctor has said we should anticipate between 8 and 10 weeks in casts of some sort, so it will be awhile before we can see the results.

Please pray about Maxim's range of motion specifically. During these pasts many weeks outside casts, he has been able to regain strength in his abs which was lost during his recovery from hip surgery in May, and range of motion in his knees and hips has really improved with the physical therapy and just ability to move more anyway. Once he goes into the casts again in September, his knees will suffer from being locked up for a while. His future walking is not just dependent on correcting his feet; the strength/flexibility of his hips and knees are also crucial.

We are also anticipating a really challenging but exciting school year. Cyan has asked for more challenge in her academics which I'm so glad she is feeling driven toward. It will be a test for all of us, because certain things are really tough for her without extra effort anyway; physically and academically. So this year we'll be starting earlier each day and likely going later into the afternoon so that she can take in more subjects and really be stretched as she desires. One of her greatest obstacles to academics is that she reads extremely slowly for her age (17).
I'm interested in any input in resources that will allow her to listen to text rather than having to read the typical textbook for every subject. She loves to read but it takes so long that it is not a practical approach for all of her schooling. Can any of you suggest resources that are appropriate for middle school/high school level learning but based on audio?

Brina is looking forward to orchestra once again. She will not hear until after August 26th whether or not she made it into symphony orchestra or not, since some students will not have auditioned until then. Hard to wait. We're excited to see what she'll do. She is also taking the fiddle class again. One exciting sideline is that she and I have been able to work on some my own compositions together lately. I arranged a part for her so we can play together (me on piano) and present a particular piece at Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles - see Leviticus 23 and Galatians 3:26-29).

Joel is also preparing for band this year. In addition to concert band, which he thoroughly enjoyed last year, he will also be participating in brass choir again and is hoping to be included in the Big Band ensemble as well. In the latter, he will attend the first couple of weeks of class and that will be considered his audition. After that the director will consider each players skill and decide who will continue. This will be a great challenge and privilege for Joel to even be considered. Even if Joel is chosen based on his musical skill, we will still have to find out when the outside commitments are scheduled (such as festivals and competiitons) since we will not want to compromise on our commitment to Sabbath. We always trust that if God has given us any talent at all, in any area of our life, He will also provide a way/place to use it for His glory without compromising any other area that He has commanded us in. We have been convicted on the issue of the seventh day being the Sabbath, set aside and holy and not to be blurred with other things in life. A day of delight, no doubt, but not one to purposely pursue things for our own gain. Soooooo, may Joel and all of our kids have many wonderful and rich opportunities to grow in their God-given abilities, and may God give us wisdom to see which opportunities will truly allow us to honor Him more fully.

I am still a little up in the air as far as how to approach Maxim's schooling this year. His comprehensive skills in English are amazing after being home for almost eight month now, and expressive has come a long way as well. Being in a very structured group setting even a couple of times a week would be really good for him socially and academically but I haven't found the right place yet. There is an excellent program that our other kids participated in a few years back; a co-op school, just on Thursdays. Homeschool moms, who also happen to be certified teachers, lead classes for kids K-8, all day, and then assign homework for the week. It's really a neat program and I think Maxim would do very well except for the fact that this program uses space at a church which is quite old and the classrooms are not handicap accessible. I would have to stay there all day on Thursday to remain available for getting Maxim from one class/activity to another since he does not yet have a wheelchair to take himself and it's not accessible anyway. Sooooo, I want him to have that group opportunity but can't commit an entire day of the week of my own time comfortably. Maybe there is a way to accomplish it that I'm just not recognizing at this point. Anyway, the challenge in homeschooling is to make sure each student is adequately stretched in their learning (actually developing a love of learning hopefully) while maintaining the strength and integrity and peace of the family. Again, I have to trust God to lead.

Brina and Joel will have the added challenge this year of a program called College Plus. It is available to anyone, but a wonderful tool in the home school community for sure. Basically, it allows students, starting at as young as 13, to thoroughly prepare for and then test out as many college level courses as possible. There are certain colleges and universities that will accept any of these positive test scores as credit for those particular courses. By reading all of the required texts and then testing out our courses, rather than actually enrolling in college on a campus and sitting through classes, students can save a great deal of time and money while pursuing college degrees. By the time they are finishing high school, they will also be finishing an Associates Degree. At that point, they can continue to complete their Bachelors through College Plus, enroll directly to certain colleges/universities as distance learning students, or apply to finish their schooling on campus somewhere, with their completed course credits transferred there.
It will add some great incentive this year to be especially structured and wise in how we use our time and help each other stay balanced.

Once we are home from Michigan, it will be just a month until Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles). It is such a special time of year for us. We enjoy traveling to different places and renewing acquaintances from past years as we celebrate. It is eight days of studying the scriptures, singing, dancing in worship, teaching the children, and just enjoying the company of others who desire to celebrate these times set aside by the Heavenly Father. We see each of the holy days (Sabbaths) set aside in the scriptures, as gifts from Him so that we are continually reminded, all through the year of Who we belong to and that He has an amazing plan for His children. The Sabbaths are simply weekly and annual markers for His people as we wait for Christ's return. Sukkot is the joyful culmination of the year's holy times, set at a harvest time so we see all around us the evidence of crops sowed and now reaped, and pictures the time when Christ completes the ultimate harvest which we want to be included in, along with those we cherish. It is a time to look forward to finally being in complete reconciled fellowship with the Heavenly Father and Christ our King. No more tears. No more dying. No more mourning. A time when full healing has taken place for all and we are rejoicing with Him. Isn't it amazing to confidently look forward to that, even with all the craziness of our present world. We are His, so there is hope.

Anyway, this is our upcoming year in a very large nutshell. May you blessed as you plan ahead for your households too. May His peace, wisdom, strength, and clear leading be evident to you and your families as we all press on.

More Travel Pics

2009-08-19T13:08:00.010-04:00

Browsing At the Poulsbo Arts Festival - Lots of Local Craftsmen Exhibited Their Wares - Maxim Does Not Like Shopping
Cousins Galore at Dungeness Spit - Olympic Peninsula
Maxim's First Ride In A Kayak
A Meal With G'mo and Bubeleh

Family Reunion Photos

2009-08-18T21:24:00.015-04:00

Family Portrait at Dungeness Spit - Olympic Peninsula

Daniel - Ever the Creative Engineer, Even on Vacation
Wheelies in the Waves with Cousin Kirk

We are really enjoying our time here on Bainbridge Island, in Washington State. We packed for hot weather, remembering the reports we had heard of record high tempuratures and were surprised during our first week with some unexpectedly cool days. Lets just say the heat is back. It feels good to keep the doors open for the breeze off Puget Sound and to get out on the water.

Yesterday, we went kayaking with G'mo (my dad). First, Joel, Brina, Maxim and I headed up the bay with G'mo, passing several spots where I remember such things as the site of my first successful waterski attempt, a dock where I remember jumping into the water with cousins at night and seeing the phosphorescence from the plankton, and just generally beautiful scenery. Dad and I were in the double with Maxim in an extra middle seat. I occasionally passed my paddle back to him so he good try paddling as well (fortunately the paddles float so if he dropped it we could easily retrieve it). After we came back to the beach in front of the house, Brina and Joel took their kayaks back to the house, along with Maxim, and Cyan got in the boat with Dad and I. Heading north this time, we enjoyed seeing three otters playing in the water a little ways further out.

The only thing that would make it better would be if Daniel were still here. He had to fly back home on Sunday morning to be ready for a business trip into Canada this week. What was supposed to be a 5:55 a.m. flight to Denver, followed by others to Chicago and Grand Rapids, turned into four hours sitting on the tarmac in Seattle because of mechanical issues with the plane, and not getting home until 12:40 a.m. Tuesday. Yuck.

The girls are over at my sister Heidi's place tonight for suspense movies and a sleepover. Joel spent part of this afternoon with his cousin Geordie and G'mo picking up firewood for G'mo and Bubeleh about a half hour south of the island. Geordie will spend the night here at my parents'. Maxim and I enjoyed stretching out on the living room playing his favorite games (Match Game, Bingo, and Go Fish). This morning, some of us helped Bubeleh pick fresh plums and blackberries.

Time flies too fast out here, but it is a treasure to have time with family.

Latest Journey

2009-08-14T02:03:00.004-04:00

What a joy to see O again, recently adopted from same orphanage Maxim came from. Her brother Z was adopted two years ago, also from Tsyurupinsk. So neat to meet their Mom who encouraged and mentored us even before we went to Ukraine.

We are in Washington State now, on a long overdue visit to my home area. Maxim has been able to meet many more relatives from my side of the family. We are staying at G'mo and Bubeleh's house (grandparents) and Maxim has really enjoyed being with so many others. He is such a people person anyway, and eats up the attention. We have played Jenga and Apples to Apples at Uncle Bruce and Aunt Kadi's house, looked at crabs on the beach, picked a few blackberries and enjoyed a hike out on the Dungeness Spit, up toward the north coast of the Olympic Peninsula. Such a beautiful area. Yesterday, Daniel and I drove down to Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma to meet up with the Walker family. When they went to Ukraine two years ago to adopt their son Ty, they took pictures of other children at the orphanage and shared them with the adoption agency later. It was one of those photos that I later saw, launching us on the journey to adopt Maxim. That little face just grabbed us. So of course, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet the Walkers face to face. It was a really nice day to be outside. Along with Ty, we also met the Walkers other son and their adopted daughter, who also came from the same orphanage. We had met their daughter O during our time in Ukraine, knowing that they were trying to get back there to adopt her yet not having the prerogative to tell her. It is so neat now to see her with her new family, really thriving.

The Walkers live in an area where there are quite a few Russian speaking immigrants, so Debbie was able to stop at a couple of Russian grocers on her way to the zoo to pick up some candy, chocolate and eggplant paste (very yummy) from Ukraine that she knew Maxim would enjoy. Thank you Debbie for your thoughtfulness.

With all of the things to see at the zoo, the three children from Ukraine didn't really connect right away. By the time we went for ice cream later, however, Ty was wanting to make sure Maxim sat by him.

Another thing I thought was really special was seeing how our daughter Cyan connected with their new daughter O. O was in her wheelchair for the day and when she noticed how tired Cyan was toward the end of our visit, she let Cyan sit on her lap so they could share the benefit of the wheelchair. O said Cyan reminds her of her friend Sveta back in Ukraine, who has similar disabilities.

Tonight, after returning from our beach hike, the day was topped off by witnessing the baptism of a new friend, Christy, in Puget Sound. She has been a friend of my Aunt Vivian's for about twenty years and has been intently seeking God's leading in her life. She also happens to be boldly fighting cancer right now, so it was an extra privilege to get to meet her and share in such a special occasion. Maxim watched the whole process of Christy walking out into the water as my dad supported her. He saw Dad dip Christy under the water and then help her up again and wondered what this was all about. As he sat there on Aunt Heidi's lap, Uncle Dean explained in very simple words how this is part of new life in Christ. I'm sure it will be a while before Maxim understands the depth of what he saw today, but I'm glad he could be there anyway. It's another seed planted in his mind of coming to Christ for the washing away of sin and being a new creation.

By the way, our flight out to Washington involved two layovers; one in Chicago for two hours and one in Phoenix for an hour. I wondered how Maxim would do with flying in the first place since the journey home from Ukraine wasn't without great drama, and I knew it would be confusing to him getting off one plane after another and having to be told the trip wasn't complete yet. I needn't have worried. He did beautifully. He ate every bit of the lunch we bought (gone are the days of complimentary meals and entertainment) and was content to stay in his seat and draw or just observe things around him. The older kids and I explained to him that we would go on three different planes and after plane #3, we would see G'mo and Bubeleh. He was content with that and the journey really went smoothly.

Jumping the Gun and Backtracking

2009-08-04T22:28:00.002-04:00

The English language is full of such interesting expressions. I've often thought these must be such a challenge for those who come to the States and must learn the language relatively late in life. Where did these expressions come from?

Anyway, I have been jumping the gun and we have been backtracking as a result. Out of fear I have wanted to bring the scheduled surgery (September 11) to a screeching halt. Usually when I am stressed out about something, I stuff it and process it privately and then make some kind of choice. Daniel and I are very similar this way and it gets us in trouble because we don't always communicate our concerns as clearly as we should.

I made phone calls to consult with different professionals regarding Rolfing (a type of very specific intense massage) and acupuncture, and then proceeded to make appointments for Maxim. It has not been unusual as we've dealt with Cyan's special needs over the years for me to get information about different approaches and then press forward. Daniel has trusted me to make good decisions and we both realize that because of his responsibilities as the soul breadwinner in our household, I need to be willing to carry the job of making appointments and getting each child to whatever appointment is necessary for him/her. However, this scenario combined with Daniel's fairly frequent travel and such, can lead to him being clueless as to what exactly has been scheduled for the kids.

Some interesting things have happened lately to turn the tide in all of this. God has been teaching me some things through the writings of two women in particular who have the courage to teach others about proper man/woman roles in a family. So I have been more alert to my own need to look for God's leading of me through Daniel. At the same time, Daniel has been reading a very loving but "in-your-face" book called Sons of Abraham, which helps today's men get an accurate Biblical picture of their responsibilities to their families. As a result of all this, I had not truly been at peace with making the appointments without Daniel's input so I told him all about it and asked for his take on the idea; I also told him about all my fears about the upcoming surgery and how much I hate the idea that the best option for Maxim at this point really does mean removing certain bones entirely. Over the same weekend, Daniel brought us all together for a family meeting and openly confessed that he has been weak as a leader in our household and that sometimes when I make decisions he hasn't been pleased with, it's because he didn't address it himself in the first place, so I kind of had to make the choice on my own. Daniel apologized and asked our forgiveness and encouraged all of us to be more open when we need help with anything or have something bothering us. This was such a powerful thing for him to do. After that, we were able to talk about everything together, look at the results of various longterm studies of patients who've already experienced the particular surgery Maxim will have, etc. Together, we decided to go ahead with the surgery as planned, and cancel the alternative treatments for the time being. After exploring those more fully, we agree that the Rolfing and acupuncture will probably have greater benefit for Maxim during his rehabilitation after surgery. I can't tell you what a relief it is to work as a team. Just imagine a really long sigh of peace.

On a different note, Belinda came to see us yesterday. She is our adoption caseworker and it was time for her second follow-up visit since Maxim has been home. It has now been almost seven months. Hard to believe. Belinda asked us questions, observed Maxim, played with him, and asked him lots of questions. She also asked the kids and I what have been the greatest things as well as the most difficult in our adjustment since the adoption. Frankly, it has been easier to answer the second part of that question lately since Maxim's strong will has been openly expressed more frequently. We are very much dealing with the effects of Maxim spending his early years in an orphanage where there were few caretakers in ratio to children and although they were cared for and there was some definite discipline/order maintained, no doubt, certain issues that an parent would surely have corrected were let go because there wasn't the time or energy to address them. For example, if a child didn't feel like staying in class during school time, they were allowed to leave and do their own thing. As I juggle the needs of each child, I'm trying to recognize that Maxim will not always understand the decisions/disciplines/boundaries we make for him right now and we must be patient with him while also teaching him he is not the center of our household and rules/obedience do matter. I am simultaneously trying to balance my occasional anxiety about how much catching up he has to do with the fact that the most important thing is to nurture in him a confidence in God, in our love for him, and a love of learning. No matter what he's already missed, there is no way we can backtrack and do those days over. We have to pray for the wisdom to start with today, and make the most of the days ahead. Was it Paul or Peter who wrote "forgetting what is passed, I press forward"? Yes, I know we cannot forget what Maxim's early life was like; it will always be a part of him and we don't pretend something different. However, in God's graceful hands, we won't dwell on the past or let it excuse pursuing less than the best from today on.

A LITTLE HUMOR - Last night I had a funny dream that was strangely encouraging. We had just moved into a house at the top of a hill with a curving road descending into the neighborhood. As I was putting things away, I glanced outside, I saw Maxim exploring the neighborhood on his belly ( his occasional mode in real life, although he is primarily up on all fours these days). I was at ease with this as he appeared safe and I was glad he wasn't afraid to explore a new place. A little while later, I glanced out again just in time to see an amazing spectacle. Remember the old style double wide garage doors that were just one big panel you had to raise up? Well, I saw Maxim just as he crawled smoothly onto the end of one of those down the street and rode on it as it raised up. He then crawled smoothly off onto the roof and place a big load of laundry on the steep roof, which already had a lot of clothing on it. Then, to my horror, Maxim lost his balance and fell off the roof. I needn't have worried, though, because he landed in a nice soft pile of laundry that had not yet been delivered to the roof. Too funny. Don't even ask me about the significance of a dream involving a lot of laundry. I was just smiling when I woke up because the whole scenario summarized the best and the most difficult things in loving Maxim. He is very inquisitive, stubborn, brave, persistent, confident, naive, smart, funny. As with any child, the things you love most can also irritate the most depending on the context at the moment. May God continue to give me and all moms (dads too) the patience and perspective to bring out the best in our kids and direct their strengths and weaknesses to good end.

Here is an excerpt from Maxim's bedtime prayer this evening: "...thank you Sydney lady dog, thank you Sydney good dog dog, thank you dog food....." One of the very best things about being a parent is getting to hear kids pray. It's a happy treasure to tuck away at the end of the day.

photo update

2009-07-29T23:15:00.012-04:00

Latest Look At Maxim's Feet - Do They Appear to Be Regressing to You?
Compare to the May 3 and February 27 Posts

Building a Fort in the Living Room With Joel

Hardhat In Place for the Big Job

Countdown and Concern

2009-07-28T08:58:00.004-04:00

We are enjoying the summer thoroughly. I continue to be amazed at how productive our little raised garden beds have been so far. Certainly, some plants have not yielded what I would have hoped (spinach and peas), but we have tasted the incomparible first fresh homegrown tomato (cut in six wedges so everyone could enjoy), lots of yummy leaf lettuce and some beautiful red potatos have been poking up so I had to bring in more soil to keep them covered for the rest of their season.
The corn has tassles on it already but is not as tall as we would like to see, so I'm not sure how truly productive each stalk will be; time will tell.

Tomorrow is the big day for Joel and Brina, auditioning for various music programs in the area.

Brina continues to pursue fiddling and homeschool orchestra and is now hoping to join the local youth symphony. She and I are also working on some violin/piano pieces we can share at church or Sukkot soon.

Joel is hoping to become part of a jazz/big band ensemble which graduated three trumpeters last year and he's is also considering the local youth symphony.

Cyan is preparing a dance to present at Sukkot in a couple of months. Sorry if I have posted this before, but I'm so excited for her. Her grace in movement has really changed over the last year and she can concentrate more on the worship words she hears in a particular song and how to move to it, instead of working so hard to just keep her balance.

Meanwhile Maxim is into a regular routine now with weekly physical therapy and continuing to stretch in his command of English. The physical therapy is not easy for him, but we do the stretches every day at home too and I do notice a difference in his flexibility. He has definitely regained a good bit of his previous trunk strength and can sit up much straighter without support. We are encouraged that he will consistently get all the way up on all fours and crawl rather than moving on his belly everywhere as in the past.

The whole family is counting down the days until we are on our way to Washington State. Just thirteen more days. We of course love love love our family and friends in Michigan but if you are a household with loved ones far away, you understand the feeling. Time with the distant ones, when you can achieve it, is precious.

Our time between now and the trip is absolutely packed. The auditions as I mentioned before. I have some dental work to get completed. Brina is hopefully getting her braces off either this Thursday or next. I have a couple more Sabbath school preschool classes to teach (if you've never tried this, go for it; these little kids are both sweet and challenging) as well.

As you know, the specialist who did Maxim's hip reconstruction is now scheduled to do surgery on his feet on September 11. The plan is to remove the talus from each foot, as I've described before, possibly transfer some tendons, and fuse what is left into the best position possible. The closer we get, the more uneasy I feel about this plan. Not a matter of whether I trust the doctor and her team. It's a matter of how once those bones are removed, there is no going back. The testimonials of others who have experienced similar treatments are not always encouraging. So, I am doing everything I can to get educated on alternative approaches that are not invasive but can encourage Maxim's feet into continuallly better position. I have spoken to several Rolfers (sorry I'm not sure how to do a link, but look this up on the Web; very interesting) and also to a local acupuncturist. We have the opportunity to consult with both types of practitioners next week before we leave for the West Coast. Both of these approaches are based on philosophies of healing that have been around for thousands of years and I do see some encouraging testimonials regarding both as they relate to clubfoot.

Since the specialist we have been seeing feels from her own understanding that the next step is surgery and she is not planning any more casting to improve Maxim's foot position, it makes sense to me to pursue anything else we can that will continue his progress without surgery. Why rush into the surgery simply because it's the specialist's "last card to play" as far as Maxim's feet go? My gut says look for all other options first and then if bone removal is truly necessary, we'll at least know we left no stone unturned.

When you are parenting children with special needs, it is often a challenge to explore everything you can do for them while maintaining family balance and not tearing yourself apart if you later realize you could have done something different.
I guess all parenting involves some second guessing of self and some "hindsight is 20/20" revelations along the way. When your special needs child is also adopted and needing to catch up because of early life neglect, the parental sense of urgency is heightened. So I am finding that I have to be careful to balance wanting very much to help Maxim catch up to his peers however possible as soon as possible, with the very real need to take our time with medical decisions so we make the right choices. When he is already seven years old, after all, a couple of extra months to explore options is not a terrible thing.

Does any of this make sense to you readers? I covet your prayers as Daniel and I press on in Maxim's care. I would love to hear from those of you who read this blog because of your own journey related to clubfeet. What have you attempted and found success with?

Milestones

2009-07-20T22:34:00.009-04:00

Sunday, July 19 was Maxim's seventh birthday, his first as a United States citizen. It was so much fun anticipating it with him, although I'm sure everything will make much more sense next year.

He often told people he was meeting for the first time "Maxim seven soon". For weeks, he was looking forward to the "rainbow cake" Brina said she would make for him. He knew there would be gifts and the happy birthday song he had heard sung to other children from time to time.

The big day arrived. Brina got up extra early, a really big deal for her, especially on a weekend, and started making the cake. She used a basic white cake recipe but divided the batter and tinted each portion a different color. Then she put them back together, barely blending them at all, and baked two layers. Next came the frosting, just cream cheese frosting tinted yellow. I had completely forgotten about candles but Brina spied some in the kitchen cupboard.

While the finishing touches of multi-colored sprinkles were put on the cake and plates and forks set out, Maxim stayed with Daniel at the computer watching games.

Finally everything was set and we brought Maxim to the table to see his cake, with the candles lit. He blew every one out after about five tries and we all enjoyed Brina's handiwork together. She really does make delicious desserts.

Afterward, Maxim enjoyed opening his gifts. All of the teens had picked out different things for him. Brina found a starfish made out of something that expands when set in water, so Maxim will enjoy watching that grow. Cyan found him a set of beach toys that are all Thomas the Tank Engine themed. Joel purchased a Mr. Potato Head set that is Bumble Spud, inspired by the Transformers. G'mo and Bubeleh (my parents) sent a Harry the Dirty Dog book, several classic stories on DVD, and a generous monetary gift. Grandpa and Grandma bought Maxim a little yellow toy Porsche ( he loves any yellow car), a yellow truck, a really nice toy boat, and also gave a generous gift for his bank account. Thanks to each of you for your thoughtfulness. It really was a nice day for Maxim. He especially enjoyed playing with his boat in the tub and watching the stories on DVD while sitting in his Elmo armchair which shakes and giggles.

An interesting twist to the day was that it also included a memorial service for a man named Roy Avery. There were such wonderful testimonies from various family and friends of what a truly unique loving and loved man he was. Hard-working, steadfast in faith, compassionate, unswerving, helpful, faithful. Qualities I hope to see in both Joel and Maxim as they become men.

God spoke to me during that service. During the instrumental music presentations, He spoke to me over and over, "she is healed" and I knew He was referring to my daughter Cyan, who has cerebral palsy. Then during the next set of music, I was prompted not to doubt, not to wonder what someone would say if I told them out loud Cyan is healed. Just say thank you to the Father and I will see the fruits of His promise. Say thank you for what He has already told me is true and then I will see the evidence. And have the courage to not only believe what He told me but proclaim it to others and ask them to thank God for healing Cyan.

During the remainder of the service I heard some speak of how Roy Avery was not the kind of person to back down on what he knew to be true. The thought that others might think him crazy for what he believed and proclaimed did not stop him from walking out what he believed and wearing his faith big and bold on his shirt-sleeve. It all came together as a witness to me to not shy away from saying out loud what God just shared with me. So after we got home, I asked Daniel if we could have a family meeting and I told them what happened.

I believe Cyan is healed and I will thank the Father for it. I hope others will too. Sometimes, we have to just take Him at His word, believe it and the evidence comes later. I'm hanging on to that. This is not a cop-out but I just want to say that I accept what I heard from God yesterday, without doubt. Promises have been proclaimed to His people many times that they had to wait to witness fully. Christ was proclaimed King and fit everything that had been prophesied about Him, yet He didn't fit the "mold" that others had in mind for the Messiah. Many things had to materialize for people to believe and many still don't.

Like one of those inexpensive little children's drawing sets where you tell the child to color everything in but the marker does not appear to be accomplishing anything. As a parent you insist that the child trust and keep coloring every space. Then you set it out in the sun, and only later after that exposure to the sun do all the colors appear. The picture really is complete. God walks with us as we keep coloring and from time to time He says okay now stand back and watch this. That's where I feel we're at with Cyan. We have been coloring and coloring and now, exposed to the Son, we're going to see the picture. The catch is we have to thank Him constantly before we even see the picture, not just when it's actually unveiled. I know this is very wordy and maybe sounds like complete gobbledy gook to some. That's okay. Just thank God for what He has already done. Thank Him for what He is doing right now. Thank Him for what He will do. Know that healing is available through Christ (Yeshua). He is able. For Cyan. For Maxim. For all who are in need of healing. For you.

Happy Birthday to You, Maxim. You are blessed and a blessing.

Diagnosis, Hope and Transformation

2009-07-15T19:08:00.006-04:00

Well, the genetics appointment was pretty calm cool and collected yesterday. I thought we might be late since the freeway has some areas under construction and there were also emergency vehicles making their way ahead of us. However, although we were indeed seven minutes late, it all worked out fine.

Dr. Toritelli, the genetics specialist, felt it was only necessary to observe xrays she already had of Maxim and see him in person for a short time in order to conclude the diagnosis of arthrogryposis. I have a lot to learn about this disorder, but it's basically an umbrella term for bundles of weakness, malformation and/or dislocation of the muscles and joints which may or may not be genetic. In some cases, the disorder stems from lack of sufficient room to move in the womb and in some cases it does indeed have a genetic basis. She felt it was unnecessary (and I agree) to go through actual blood work and testing at this time to determine the cause of Maxim's arthrogryposis. She says if Maxim wants to know for sure someday, for the sake of any future children, whether or not his particular case is due to a genetic disorder, he may choose to do the testing then and frankly the genetics testing will be so much more sophisticated by then, we'll probably get more answers in the long run. It is just satisfying to get the definite label and know that this is not a progressive disease of any kind. Like Cyan's cerebral palsy, this results in certain weaknesses and challenges but it is not going to get worse and a lot of progress can be made through surgeries and therapies.

Right after our appointment with Dr. Toritelli, we zipped down Michigan Avenue in Grand Rapids to Dr. Reinhart's office so she could get a good look at Maxim in his new brace. She tweaked it a little so his right leg is pulled out to the right a little further, wanting to make sure the top of his femur sits in the hip socket more securely. He will remain in just this brace (24/7 except for toilet, bathing, and swimming) until September 1, when they will again cast his feet and lower legs in preparation for the September 11 surgery.

Keep praying for God's divine moving and softening of Maxim's feet. I believe a lot can happen between now and the planned surgery.

I was reading an article recently by Ken Burns, the very talented historian and film maker. He was talking about the National Park system in the United States; how breathtakingly beautiful each park is and what a special gift it is that several people who came before us thought to preserve these areas so all people could continue to enjoy them. One comment that struck me is that Mr. Burns felt that when one takes the time to visit these areas and takes several days (even weeks) to explore and observe, it is a life-changing spiritual experience. He felt that by spending concentrated time in such beautiful places, away from all the frenzy and distraction of typical American life, one's very molecules are even reordered, it is that intense. It's like becoming someone new because of where we've spent that time.
I will write more about this on my other blog (www.onedaughteroftheking.blogspot.com) but in conjunction with the appointments this week, it just left me pondering how mighty our God us to give us reminders all around us in His creation of who He is and that He is able. He is our Fortress, our Refuge, our Comfort, our Healer. Through time spent with Him, wherever that may be, we really are transformed, physically and spiritually. He sees Maxim's need and in His hands, anything really is possible. For Maxim. For Cyan. For you. Rest in that. Press on in that.

More Appointments Tomorrow

2009-07-13T23:18:00.002-04:00

It's hard to believe the appointment with the genetics specialists is tomorrow already. This appointment was set up by Dr. Reinhart months ago and seemed soooo far away.

We will arrive at the clinic in Grand Rapids at 8:30 a.m. and expect to be there at least an hour. They will probably send us somewhere for additional blood work as well. The whole point is to find out if the club feet and other joint issues evident in Maxim are the result of any genetic disorder. It is apparently not unusual for club feet and other things to come in clusters and they like to track causes so hopefully future generations can benefit. If we find that Maxim's problems have a genetic root, it won't change how we deal with it but he will have information valuable to him in the future.

From that appointment, we will go straight to Dr. Reinhart's office right down the street so she can see Maxim in his new brace and better evaluate the proper focus for his therapy.

He did have his first physical therapy appointment this past Thursday. We were surprised to see that the doctor's prescription specified the brace could not be removed during therapy even. However, Shelly the therapist gave some really valuable advice and instruction on how to support one area of Maxim's body while stretching another. Maxim handled it really well which was a relief since he has been a little more argumentative lately. Really testing his boundaries and struggling with the fact that children have to obey parents and not vice versa. Debbie, another blogger, shared some wonderful insights about this very issue at www.jerdebwalker.blogspot.com. I really appreciated another parents perspective in this same scenario.

We have yet to get Maxim out to Lake Michigan. The time that he is allowed to be out of the brace is limited so we have limited him, so far, to just playing in the tub when he craves water play.

From those of you who have dealt with extremely underweight adoptees, I would really like to hear your input on what you did nutritionally to help build them up.

We are especially excited to be going out to Washington State next month. We always really enjoy spending time with family there and this year will be even sweeter because Maxim will be meeting everyone out there for the first time. My dad will have just finished his rounds of radiation ( he has handled it remarkably well and is staying super active and upbeat)too, so that adds to the blessing of getting to go there this year. One icing on the cake, as well, is that we will finally be able to meet the Walker family. They live about an hour and a half from my parents and adopted two children from the same orphanage Maxim was at. When they adopted their son in 2007, they took a lot of pictures although this was greatly frowned upon and shared them with the adoption agency later. It was one of their photos that allowed us our first glimpse of Maxim. So, you see, we really must meet them face to face, don't you think?

Maxim in America - the Blessed of the Blessed

2009-07-03T22:28:00.003-04:00

Today, everyone in the extended family had the day off since tomorrow is Independence Day, also known as the 4th of July. America's so-called birthday. We enjoyed hamburgers and hot dogs with all the fixings at Daniel's parents' place and Maxim finally enjoyed the tractor ride with Grandpa he's been hoping for, now that the body cast is a thing of the past. Cousins shot nerf-type rockets up in the air, tossed baseballs back and forth, rode Uncle Brian's go-cart around the farm and down the dirt road and just enjoyed each other's company. Aunt Carolanne, who was recently hospitalized again due to colitis was up on her feet and able to enjoy the festivities too. There is nothing like family together. We don't do it nearly enough.

Really interesting to contemplate as we celebrate the holiday with Maxim for the first time.

Things I may not have noticed before strike me intensely this year because of our experience overseas during Maxim's adoption, as well as different things that have transpired since the election of our new president last Fall.

In Ukraine, where Maxim was born, they have only been independent of outside rule since the early '90s. After release from the former Soviet Union, certain freedoms were achieved but at a great price. The Soviet Union was extremely orderly. Parks were precisely designed and well maintained. Now they are run down, with the pools emptied of any water and the fountains turned off. Public and government buildings are slowly falling apart because there are no funds dedicated for their up-keep. A large number of stray dogs run wild, sometimes in dangerous packs, because there are no longer any dog catchers. In general, families have only one or two children and both parents work full time (very long hours, often far from home), while the babushkas (grandmothers) raise the children.
Stadiums, once the pride of the Soviet Olympic training system, stand silent. Many people we spoke to admitted there is such corruption in their government, they don't really expect any of this to change, so it's everyone for himself. Overall, people do not trust their leaders or each other. Freedom from the Soviet Union was achieved but no one knows what to do with it. First hand accounts from former slaves in our country indicate not all knew what to do with the freedom handed to them after the Civil War. Scripture tells us the Israelites didn't handle their freedom from Egypt so well in many ways. Maxim is no longer tied to the Ukrainian orphanage system, which is wonderful, but he still needs boundaries. Daniel and I are entrusted with the task of teaching him certain boundaries so the freedom he has been blessed with will actually be enjoyable and beneficial.

Here in the United States of America, we are uniquely blessed. Not because we are such great people, but because God is God. Long ago, He made promises of blessings and cursings to those who would obey or choose to disobey His ways. The blessings were promised to multiple generations. In short, we have what we have in great part because of choices made by those who came before us. Yes, our choices make a difference in our own personal lives, but I think we have forgotten to be thankful for the fact that many of those who came before us were obedient to God's ways to the best of their ability and we are reaping the benefits. We have forgotten that the choices we are making now are not supposed to be focused only on what we can attain and achieve but on what effect we may have on future generations.

This country is not perfect. We all know that. However, maybe we have individually and nationally been so focused on ourselves at times that we don't realize how abundantly blessed we are. Take a look at this quick comparison with Ukraine.

In America, you can call 9-1-1 and someone will come to help you, quickly and efficiently, eith few exceptions. There is no such system in Ukraine. In fact, if you are not willing/able to immediately pay the ambulance driver whatever they feel like charging at a given moment, forget calling for help at all.

In America, if you're lost, you can flag down a policeman and he'll actually assist you and want to help you on your way. In Ukraine, people do what they can to avoid the police if at all possible due to fears from the past and knowing that there is still great corruption. The thought that a policeman might be someone to seek out in time of need is mind-boggling to them.

In Ukraine, people don't seem to smile very much. We were told that people who "smile too much" are viewed as completely stupid or suspicious.

Our nation has an amazing system of roadways, libraries, public universities, medical facilities, national parks, etc., which afford every single citizen opportunities for constant new learning, exploration, pleasure, safety and education.
Yes, we sometimes treat each other poorly and need to re-learn some basic etiquette in getting along, but we are sooooooo incredibly blessed.

If you are an American yet believe that as such, you have somehow been completely cheated in life, I hope Maxim, who became a citizen of this great nation just a few months ago, doesn't meet you anytime soon. You see, through his eyes, this place is still amazing. To him, trash trucks are beautiful. When he sits in his booster seat in the van and surveys all the things we pass as we drive through town, it's all positive to him. He doesn't care that many "more mature" people wouldn't want to be a trash man and look down on those those who are. He just sees this terrific vehicle that comes down the street, lifts and empties each dumpster and whisks the trash away. He doesn't care that the bright yellow house is in a rundown, questionable part of town. He just sees a house that is his favorite color and hopes he can live there some day. He thinks all things really are possible.

Ukraine has beauty and weakness. America has beauty and weakness. Both are full of faults. But by God's grace, this really is the "land of opportunity". We experience it today because someone before us recognized that fact and tended the freedoms wisely. Someone treasured the resources we have and carefully nurtured and multiplied them. Someone taught their children to be polite, faithful and hard-working and those children taught their children. Someone prayed, took good care of their possessions and were quick to lend a hand to those around them. Someone thought of those generations coming up behind them and tried to leave their little corner of the world better than they found it.

Happy birthday America! Appreciate what you have and tend it well. Pray to discern what is broken and what is not. Fix what is truly broken and vehemently protect what is not. Acknowledge sin and turn from it. Acknowledge God in all you do and He will direct your paths. What better Director could there possibly be.

Maxim, it will be your birthday soon. May you continue to see the blessings all around you and be a good steward of each. Give God all the credit and honor for the opportunities that come your way. It is truly His hand that has brought you to this land and to this family. Welcome to America!

God's Encouraging Hand

2009-07-02T13:13:00.002-04:00

We have really seen God at work already since Maxim's cast came off on the 30th, just two days ago. Although we are still amazed at how truly shrunken his legs are right now due to such prolonged time in casts, he has a long way to go in catching up to some semblance of normal body weight (he is even swallowed up in 2T pants right now), and he has lost some of his great upper body strength because the cast did all the work for him the past 6 1/2 weeks, we have so much to be encouraged by.
He has not required more than the typical tylenol or motrin for the expected joint pain. He has not needed any at all since 3am today and it is now 1:30pm. Although he is fragile when lifted and we have to be really careful not to bump his hip or legs, he actually rolls over and will get up on all fours and move a little on his own.

When the cast came off, I think I mentioned they put a foam piece between his legs to keep them somewhat apart until his new brace is ready, expecting it would take until at least the 20th. Well, I called Mary Free Bed Orthotics, where we have been many times in working with Cyan's CP over the years and they were able to fit Maxim in for measuring yesterday afternoon. At first the woman at the front desk said it could still take quite some time to receive the actual brace due to frequent delays with our particular insurance companies. She said that neither company is good about giving approval over the phone. However, by the end of the day yesterday, we not only had the phone approval from both insurances, but a confirmation that if we didn't mind driving to Grand Rapids again, we could have the brace TODAY! It is ready now. So that's where Maxim and I are headed right after Brina's orthodontist appointment this afternoon. What a whirlwind, but soooo encouraging.

Dr. Reinhart did not intend to prescribe any physical therapy until the brace was ready, so we are now two weeks ahead of the game. I called her office to let her know the brace is ready and she immediately faxed a prescription for Maxim's therapy to begin ASAP at our local hospital's rehab department. Very exciting. These are people that have worked with Cyan a lot over the years too, so we already have a good trusting relationship with them.

Done Deal

2009-06-30T22:58:00.005-04:00

Well, the orange cast is a thing of the past. Sort of. It is currently standing up in an opaque white trash bag at the back door, waiting until the trash man comes tomorrow. There's no more room in the dumpster at the moment and Joel confirmed my opinion that it's just too weird an item to lean against the dumpster at the end of our driveway. I've seen lots of things people put outside on trash day but seeing a used body cast would be a little unsettling for drivers passing on their way to work.

Things did not go as I thought they would today but it was not necessarily discouraging. As soon as our regular nurse came in to start removing the Spica cast, she announced that Maxim was getting a break from casts altogether for now. That's what I had expected. I let her know about our August travel plans, thinking she and the doctor would immediately decide to put Maxim in the typical little leg/foot casts until our departure date. However, the teams consensus is not only that they won't cast Maxim between now and our trip, but that they will not cast him at all until after we have returned from Washington State. They are still of the opinion that since they are planning to remove the talus from each foot and fuse what remains however they feel best, casting is not as crucial in the meantime as it would be if they had some ideal current position they were trying to maintain until surgery. Although this is exactly the mindset I did not want to settle for, I am at peace for one reason. God does not need continual casting to move Maxim's feet into position. He can do whatever He sees fit regardless of the doctors' decisions. I have no ill feelings toward the doctors. They are not giving up in some pessimistic defeatist way. They really feel that the most that can be accomplished has been done. I see it as an opportunity to continue praying and watch God do things in such a way that no one can deny His hand is at work. This whole thing is a done deal when He says so.

It was wonderful to get home and let Maxim enjoy a nice warm bath with no casts. He requested bubbles and really loved being in the water again. He is absolutely skin and bones so that was quite alarming to see when the cast first came off; I nearly cried right there in the doctor's office. But Maxim is such a trooper as usual; he was stretching and wiggling when tickled, scooting as best he could on the floor to reach markers, trying to roll over, etc. There are certain positions that are obviously uncomfortable/painful but he is already trying to adapt how he moves so he won;t be too slowed down. He has a foam wedge that is placed between his legs, then wrapped with a wide velcro strap so that the spread position of his legs can still be maintained somewhat. They worked hard during the surgery to give him more flexibility for opening his legs and they don't him to lose that. He is not too thrilled with having to keep that on at all times except during toilet use and baths. He actually ditched it once this evening and started crawling away which was bitter sweet. I know he really needs the cushion for positioning right now and I have to enforce that, but it was really neat to see him crawl in a normal position for maybe the first time in his life and it said a lot that he would even want to get up on all fours and try so soon after getting the cast off. After all, he has been in leg casts constantly since February 18 & the whole Spica cast since May 15, so his lower extremities are very weak and stiff. But Maxim has such a will to move forward, in more ways than one. I'm sure that persistence will be a wonderful blessing in many ways as he faces more surgeries and therapy ahead. Maxim is also able to comfortably sit in a regular booster seat at the dining table again, which is really nice too. I think he liked sitting up like everyone else instead of reclining in the wheelchair and trying to balance his bowl on the ridge of his cast.
We have a little piece of normal back in that respect.

Cast Off

2009-06-30T07:57:00.003-04:00

This is it. The Spica cast comes off today. Good-bye beat up, scuffed up, grass-stained, smudgy orange cast. Yippee! The last few days, Maxim has really liked being scrubbed as much as I could reach with cool washcloths and then rubbed with anti-itch lotion. I am concerned for Maxim right now because during this time in the Spica cast he has obviously lost weight, especially in muscle mass. He has gotten quite good at pulling himself around the house and yard with just his arms but still they are stick thin. The only bulges of any kind are at the joints. Another concern is that before the hip surgery, Maxim's doctor and her team had already concluded that the weekly casting of his feet up to that point had accomplished all the re-positioning they felt they would be able to and they had no intention of attempting any further manipulation. In other words, they think they have gotten his feet as far as they are going to be able to. I should clarify for those who do not understand that when a child has club feet, you don't just surgically set everything back in place. You go through a series of castings in which the feet are continually moved into slightly more correct position. When doctors conclude they have gotten as far as they can, surgery is done to set the feet in that position. In Maxims case, they have not accomplished the ideal position at all but far enough that if they remove a bone called the talus (sp?) on both feet and then do some fusing, they can at least get him into a position where he will be able to walk someday, although lacking much flexibility in his ankles. The foot surgery is currently scheduled for Friday, September 11. The last comment from our doctor was that we could have a break from all casts during the part of the summer we will be traveling, but outside of that they will keep Maxim's feet and lower legs casted right up until that surgery. No further manipulations. Just casting to maintain the position they're already reached. Today, when I take Maxim in to have the Spica cast removed, I will be petitioning the doctor and her team to continue manipulating his feet as far as they can right up until surgery. We will travel for three weeks in August (to see my family in Washington State - wooooohoooo!) during which Maxim will be without casts, but I would really like them to do everything they can during the rest of the period before September 11 to gain the optimum position. My thought is what does it hurt to keep trying when we have all this time left before the surgery. If we don't have them keep manipulating Maxim's feet little by little every week, just like they have been since February 18 (with the exception of time in the Spica cast of course), I will always wonder if we could have accomplished more. Anyway, please pray for us when you read this. That the x-rays will look encouraging today, showing Maxim's hip is still holding good position (pray boldly if you believe that his hip could be in even better than expected position); that I will have wisdom in speaking to the doctor and she will be receptive and cooperative with whatever is God's will for Maxim; and that Maxim will start gaining weight; that things will go well as Maxim starts some physical therapy. Thanks for stopping by. Have a terrific last day of June.

The "Less Than A Week To Go 'til Casts Come Off" Gallery

2009-06-24T23:21:00.017-04:00

First Fathers Day

2009-06-21T13:36:00.002-04:00

Yesterday at church, Maxim's class made Fathers Day gifts, of course. Their teacher, Diane, was so generous and thoughtful, providing them with mugs to decorate with stickers that she thought would fit each daddy's interests. For the mug Maxim would make for Daniel, Diane gave him an airplane, a bicycle, a car loaded with luggage, and "are we there yet" dialogue bubble, and so on, because one way or the other Daniel does travel quite often.

After the mugs were finished, each child was given a little packet of peanuts, a chocolate biscotti and a packet of coffee or hot chocolate mix to place inside. Maxim carefully eyed those items and I could see he was formulating a plan.

I had explained that this was a gift to surprise Papa with for Fathers Day, a time when Papas receive presents.

Sure enough, by last night, Maxim was expressing that he would give the present to Daniel, Daniel would open it, say "yummy" and then Maxim would smile and say "please". What a plan!

Anyway, when he woke up this morning, he got the vision in his mind that since we were talking about all of these gifts being only for papas on Fathers Day and Maxim would not be receiving until his birthday next month, Maxim would not be sharing any of Daniel's gift today. He immediately got very grumpy and did not want to give the gift. Fortunately, Daniel was outside making some repairs after our great rain and flooding on Friday night, so he didn't witness the bad attitude for the most part.

Maxim informed us, emphatically, that "Father's Day broken!!!"

Later he was able to watch as Joel presented a gift to Daniel. It was a bar of Ghiradelli dark chocolate, which Daniel promptly opened and shared. He slid a piece toward Maxim, and our little guy put his head in his hands, surprised yet unconvinced that the chocolate was really being shared with him. Finally, he came over and took it and enjoyed it. Now he was ready to present his gift to Daniel, who also shared that with him right away. I asked him if Fathers Day was broken now, and he smiled really big, kind of sheepishly, and said "no".

I saw a spiritual lesson. God really wants us to take the time to present our best to Him. He wants everything we can offer, with a glad heart. This requires trust that if we give Him absolutely everything, He will provide everything we need (and could possibly want). It's just so easy to get a certain vision in our minds of what we want right now, and we foolishly focus on that instead of the very best which can only come from the Father as we completely yield.

Fathers Day will make much more sense to Maxim next year. Hopefully the give and take between my Heavenly Father and I will make more sense too. We all have a lot to learn.

Happy Fathers Day to all the papas. In particular, I want to extend a special encouragement and thanks to my husband Daniel and all the other adoptive daddies out there. It took a certain courage to go down the adoption road. It changes and enriches our family legacies in such a wonderful way. May God continue to bless the journey for each household.

Dear Maxim - Again

2009-06-18T07:46:00.003-04:00

Dear Maxim,

Just thought I'd drop you a note since it's been awhile since I wrote directly to you.

You will soon be seven years old. Your older siblings have been trying to prepare you and explain what a birthday is in the first place. You are excited that soon Brina will make you a delicious cake (you already know what a terrific dessert baker she is) and she has promised it will have rainbow frosting.

In less than two weeks, you will be free of any cast for the first time since February 18. Wow! Won't that be exciting! I know you are really looking forward to going in the lake with your yellow swim ring. That will be quite an adventure for you, having never been swimming before in the first place. What an initiation - straight into Lake Michigan.

The garden is growing and you have continued to look for the corn and other goodies to be ready. Be patient, buddy. All those fresh things will be worth the wait.
I love that, with few exceptions, you figure all vegetables are simply called salad.

We have been sooo excited to here your English skills grow although I also feel it's bitter sweet to know that we might not hear certain words and Russian phrases anymore. Some of your well-used phrases are "Okay, sorry", "I no know", "I like it", and so on. You are really coming along, and we are continually amazed that your reactions to us prove you understand more than you can express verbally.

You like to do things for yourself, and sometimes you don't understand that someone coming along side you in your activity means they like to be with you rather than that they don't think you're capable. But that is changing somewhat.

I love stepping away from my Mom busyness, stretching out on the living room floor and doing puzzles for awhile with our heads cheek to cheek.

I love that if I say ouch or express that my back hurts as I carry you (which actually happens less than I would have thought), you say "Oh, sorry Mama" and reach around my shoulder to give me a feather light "back rub".

I love that when you make things, you often think right away of someone you can present your project to as a gift.

I love that, while you have always been pretty free with quick hugs and kisses, you are much more comfortable with just sitting and snuggling/rocking for a length of time. It tells me you are learning to trust that someone else really can be a comfort to you.

I love that you have such a positive attitude about your future. You obviously trust us completely that many things will be possible for you later and right now you just have to wait. Your patience is really inspiring. Keep dreaming of walking and of driving a yellow car someday. Keep dreaming of taking a running leap onto our rope swing. Keep dreaming of riding your own bicycle down the street.

Like all of us, you are imperfect, Maxim. That's okay. Keep listening, learning, striving and giving. You are a delight.

Love ya, buddy.

Mama

Maxim's First Five Months At Home

2009-06-09T20:10:00.001-04:00

He Believes

2009-06-06T00:05:00.002-04:00

These are things even a little boy in a body cast can still believe:

1. God made Him, God loves Him and God is helping him.

2. Surely there is still a way for him to help mow the lawn (I had to assure him there will be someday, but I cannot mow the lawn and carry him at the same time in his present state, no matter how much he would love to be a part of mowing)

3. If everyone else in the household has at least one bicycle, there must be one here for him too. (I told him he will have one someday and he immediately requested yellow)

4. He is confident he is already capable of driving a car and that when he is out of his casts he will own one (yellow again), since Joel has explained the purpose of various parts in Daniel's vehicle.

One Neat Little Boy

2009-06-02T05:50:00.006-04:00

Lest you think Maxim has no bad moments in the middle of adjusting to family and recovering from his surgery, I must say there have been ups and downs. I'm not sure how much is related specifically to adoption, or if any of it is. The last 5 1/2 months have simply inevitably included Maxim testing his limits at times and finding out where the boundaries are. DOWNS: shoveling food fast and furious into his mouth at meals. this habit has virtually disappeared. in fact, many times he would not come to the table if we didn't pick him up and set him there. he is curiously exploring other things and doesn't want to stop. refusing to speak when he is mad about something. it is tempting to stay there and try to coax words out of him but I have realized this is counter-productive and it's better to set him in a safe place and walk away. pretty soon, I hear him muttering to himself, then playing again, and the day goes on. being loud and responding in disrespectful ways. Maxim is getting better at simply saying "no thank you" when he does not want something that is being offered to him or wants someone to stop a particular thing they're doing with him. Being loudly bossy is also not accepted and I get right in his face and quietly but firmly insist he say please, mind his own business, or whatever is needed. on rare occasions, Maxim loses his temper completely when a certain practice or standard is insisted on with him and he has to be disciplined. when this has happened, I get in his face so he pretty much has to look me in the eye (this is a must; kids need eye contact when they're being corrected), tell him that what he is doing is not acceptable and when he stops throwing the fit, I will be glad to listen to him. then I leave him on his own in a safe spot and walk away. I do not feel any obligation to sit around while someone persists in a fit, adult or child, trying to somehow negotiate with them while they "spew". Life is too short. Anyway, Maxim is finding out that we love him bunches but he is not the center of the world. UPS: Maxim loves to copy what he hears. Yes, this is a positive as long as we are careful what we say, which we should be anyway. He echoes everything and is continually using longer strings of English words. So far, very few have been completely grammatically correct phrases, but he gets his gist across. For example, he says "Mama, doing?", meaning "Mama, what are you doing?" He loves to help. Yesterday the kids and I were at Walmart grocery shopping and Maxim was in his wheelchair. The wheelchair is nothing new to him since he had one in Ukraine and was very independent with it. Anyway, inspite of his somewhat reclined position in the body cast, he can still propel himself, and at the store he went back and forth in the produce section, taking the things I had selected and putting them in the cart Cyan was pushing for me. He enjoys praying and looking at the Bible. He is full of questions about what God made. He loves to make things and while he does often want things hung on the fridge for display, he regularly gives things away to others as well. Tonight is a piano recital for Cyan, Brina and Joel, as well as several other students. Another marker at the end of the school year. Summer is coming. It will be nice to hear what everyone has worked on and celebrate together. Daniel is off to Kentucky on business for the next few days. I love it when he's home but I'm not taking lightly that he has a job and I have no room to complain. We are just blessed that he is employed at all. Our area of Michigan has a 13% unemployment rate. Our little raised beds garden is showing signs of life. Lots of lettuce and spinach up, little tomatoes forming, healthy potato plants, etc. Cut worms have picked off some of my new bean plants but I got some great input off the internet for putting a stop to that. As soon as bean shoots appear above the ground, shimmy an empty toilet paper tube into the ground a couple of inches as a shield around the plant. Hopefully, this will do the trick. I love this time of year when so much is in bloom, everything is so fragrant and fresh outside, and there are great harvests to look forward to in the coming months.

Post-Op Check

2009-05-27T07:55:00.010-04:00

Yesterday was Maxim's first post-op check with Dr. Reinhart. It has been 1 1/2 weeks now since the hip reconstruction. The x-rays look very good but did confirm the doc's gut feeling that they will need to go back in later, sometime in the next 6-9 months. At that point, Maxim's femur, which was shortened, will have healed well and it will be time for the plate in it to come out. This will be the perfect time to go back in and further shape a sort of shelf on his right hip socket so that there will be the best cap over his femur as it fits in there. Right now, everything is just barely in place there, and Dr. Reinhart wants to "tweak" it so dislocation is no longer a worry. Okay, that's all very wordy, but basically it all looks very good after just one surgery. Maxim is a work in progress, and we are happy with the achievements so far.
We are scheduled to go in on June 30 for removal of this cast. Yeah! Somehow, knowing it will be in June is a psychological boost to this Mama. A blessing to Maxim as well, since we will most likely avoid the hottest days of the summer.
Although the spica cast, which extends from mid-rib all the way to the toes, limits Maxim a lot, he is able to roll himself over (but needs help often to get back in the other direction). He can scoot himself forward on his belly a little; for example to adjust position on his bed of pillows while resting on the floor, or reaching for an object a very short distance away from him. We are thankful for any mobility independence he has at the moment but concerned about how he is sort of disappearing. Maxim's greatest strength has always been in his upper body because that is what he has used to do everything. Incredible abs from hauling himself up and down off of furniture, arm strength from the same thing plus propelling himself on the floor, etc. From lack of motion aggravated (necessarily) by the casting, he is losing any muscle mass left in his legs (very little even when we brought him home) and we are noticing his arms decreasing in size. He does not have nearly the appetite he had when we first brought him home so I have to be careful that whatever does go in is both enjoyable and most beneficial for healing and strengthening this little guy. It's not that he has been completely refused to eat in any abnormal way (only when he wants to keep playing or when he is not feeling good to begin with) but he just doesn't want the quantity he did at first. In the beginning, he would observe how much Daniel ate and if he took seconds, and want the same portions. Maxim would ask for as much as Daniel had and put it all away. Now he seems to have a more appropriate guage for when to stop (with the exception of the day one of the older kids left a candy basket friends had given Maxim just a little too close, and he ate five different items before I realized what was going on).
Anyway, if you have suggestions for putting great nutrition into Maxim, I am open to ideas.

Here is Maxim waiting for Papa so they could go on a bike ride together on Memorial Day. Daniel made the trailer for Cyan originally and created a special harness to keep Maxim in.

Here are some things I notice as we are into Maxim's fifth month in America.

1. He still resorts to rocking himself for comfort occasionally. I take it as my cue to cuddle a little, chat or rub his back. Something that lets him know there are others who can comfort him. He is not alone anymore.
2. He is still looking to see if no means no. Does it only stand when Mom says it but not Dad? He tests this regularly.
3. When he cries, which is not very often, it is very much like a small baby. Cyan, his big sister, has a certain infantile startle reflex that has remained becuase of her cerebral palsy. Things that would not make the typical seventeen year old jump out of their skin still cause her to do so. Maxim does not have this startle reflex but his body language when he cries is sort of infantile. He curls up his fists, stiffens up and and the sound is not exactly like a newborn by any means but not what you might expect from an almost seven-year-old either. I can't quite put my finger on it, but when an older child or adult cries, they usually move somehow and there is some kind of obvious release achieved and then the crying subsides. In Maxim, and in little babies, there is sort of the winding up for the big cry, but they almost need some kind of encouragement to let it out and then actually relax again. Does that make sense? Anyway, of course, I hope Maxim feels the need to cry as little as possible, not because I don't want to put up with it, but because I wish him as little sorrow as necessary.
4. Maxim really likes to help, even in the spica cast. We have figured out places to put the blender, mixer, etc. so he can reach them and help with baking and other food prep. I am learning, the same way we are continually learning with Cyan, that there are a million things the disabled can accomplish. We must not be too quick to say no when they want to participate in some activity, out of some crazy assumption about what they are and are not capable of.
5. While he does not hide it if he's mad about something, he very rarely holds a grudge for long.
6. He is listening to and watching EVERYTHING.
7. He remembers the names of relatives he has not even met face to face yet (i.e. G'mo and Uncle Dean) and thanks God for them in almost every prayer.
8. Riding in the van while lying on his back in the special sling, he can still tell when we have made the turn onto our street.

Pain meds are down to about ten hours apart, if that, so considering how recent surgery was and all that they did, even into bone, Maxim is doing really well. I do sometimes wonder how much is the pain meds, how much is a truly high pain tolerance, how much is just the tough "go-it-alone" coping of a post-institutionalized child, etc. But then I remember Who our Mighty Father is and I choose to give Him all the credit.

Last night, Cyan and Brina had a dance recital. They have been learning Hebraic worship and folk dance for the last two years, with Aunt Shannon as their teacher. The class performed for about one hour solid, with refreshments served afterward.

As Maxim relined in his wheelchair, he noticed balloons from a recent graduation party caught in the rafters above. A very kind dad who happens to be quite tall, stood on a bar stool and stretched to bring them down for Maxim. He always likes seeing them at the store but this is the first time he's had his own to play with. He really enjoyed them before bed last night and wanted them right away when he woke up this morning. Right now he is conked out on his pillows with them. Sweet sweet.

ON ANOTHER NOTE: I recently mentioned my desire to write in a more broad way, not sure of the proper venue. Well, I'm off on another blog. You can take a peek at it by going to my profile and looking at the list of my blogs.

Home

2009-05-18T21:12:00.006-04:00

Maxim came home from the hospital today. We have now been thoroughly educated in the coordination of seatbelts for people who are lying down, drive through pharmacy mega orders, and how many dvds an eager little boy in a wheelchair can carry out of the library (ten, with help from sister Cyan).
After running these errands to make sure we have all the prescriptions (pain killers, stool softeners, etc.) and a good supply of on-screen entertainment for his most down times, we came home and just enjoyed sitting outside in the sun. Our newest neighbor, Beth, came over to introduce herself. She is a special education teacher for emotionally disturbed teenagers in the Grand Rapids public school system, and this is her first year teaching at all. Now there is a young lady with a special mission!
Maxim is doing pretty well. I hope we can find good ways to keep him comfie without the handy hospital bed that was adjustable. It's gone okay this afternoon and evening, as we have switched from couch to bed to wheelchair to pillows on the floor. For awhile, after Daniel got home from work, he and Maxim and Joel were all huddled on the living room floor (Maxim well padded in all the right places)playing with Magnetix, given by friends. A little bit of normal.
Maxim has been a little out of it at times with the fatigue and medications. Sometimes if we say hello to him, he responds as if we just asked how he's doing, "Good". Overall, he's pretty alert though and wanting to engage in whatever is happening. Still loves to butt into conversations with whatever is of interest to him at the moment (bowling, legos, Elmo and Cookie Monster). Tonight, he said he did not want to eat dinner and was planning to play on the floor in the living room while the rest of us went to the table. But I encouraged him to come and be with us with or without an appetite. In the end, he couldn't resist having a little something to eat, since he saw everyone else enjoying roast chicken, corn, and baked potatoes (brought by a generous friend). He suddenly decided dinner was a good idea after all and ate very well compared to the last few days.
Now we have no visits with the doctor until the 27th. Unless something unforeseen comes up, we are free of any runs to Grand Rapids until then. A welcome reprieve.
So there you have it; as astronauts did amazing work on good old Hubble over the weekend, tinkering in mind-boggling ways 200 plus miles above the earth, our Maxim was also experiencing a bit of an overhaul, transformed by the blessing of the Father through the hands of doctors with some pretty amazing skills. And if this work in progress takes longer than we expect/wish, we will have had more opportunities to practice patience and compassion, and if there is anything God wants to do in and through Maxim, there is certainly a myriad of opportunities to cross paths with people we wouldn't have otherwise. I am going to believe that no encounter is an accident. Each is for our benefit, the other party's benefit, or both, and ultimately for God's glory if we are yielded to Him at all. So thank You, Father, for however long You take. Your will and your way are perfect.

Doing Much Better Today

2009-05-17T08:07:00.002-04:00

Last night was a huge improvement over the previous. Daniel brought Cyan, Brina and Joel to see Maxim after church and his parents came later as well, with Uncle Timothy and Aunt Shannon. At that point in the day, Maxim wasn't feeling the greatest. He was already off the IV pain meds and had not needed any orally for awhile but the discomfort was starting to kick in again. He was so tired to but he always hates to miss what's going on around him. Anyway, he was not terribly outwardly grumpy or anything like that; just didn't engage with everyone as much as I think he was hoping to earlier. Just too out of it.
Later in the afternoon, however, he was doing much better. The nurse agreed to go ahead and give Maxim the two oral pain medicines on a four hour rotation that will keep things even and help him sleep better. Sure enough, he rested very well (so Mama did too) and he is more himself this morning.
He is enjoying some toys that I brought with us (Elmo activity book with lots of stickers, unlike the typical ones kidsfinish in mimutes). He also has a really neat set that Grandma gave him yesterday. It's a case that opens up into a little magnetic board on an easle-type stand. It has a built-in storage area that slides out as a tray at the bottom so kids have easy access to all the magnetic pieces. They provide a deck of cards with pictures of how the pieces can be arranged to make all kinds of vehicles.
If things continue to go well today, we will most likely head home tomorrow (Monday).
Maxim has been quite the trooper. I know that he gets uncomfortable often, even if actual pain is absent at the moment. Sometimes, he grabs hold of the be railing and pulls until he has himself on his side and just holds himself in that position for a little while. Occasionally, I will prop pillows behind him so he can stay that way a little longer. It's pretty much like seeing a big pair of orange scissors open and laying on it's side. This gives Maxim some temporary relief from the monotony of being on his back so much. He has also discovered the buttons that adjust his bed and is glad to adjust it to his liking from time to time.
Last night, Maxim turned himself all the way over onto his belly, hoping for comfort in that position. I asked the nurse if that was okay and she was fine with it as long as certain parts of his body were elevated as needed. Unfortunately, Maxim was not as comfortable as he had hoped he'd be and in the end the best position was still on his back. With one leg slightly more elevated than the other, he was happy to not be completely flat and slept very well.
I know the coming weeks recovering at home will present certain challenges but last night was definitely encouraging and it will be good to get the family back under the same roof too. Looking forward to moving ahead on the road to healing.

First Day Post-Op

2009-05-16T08:08:00.003-04:00

Well, it was rough night as expected. Dr. Reinhart came to get us at 6:30 last night to let us know the surgery was finished. So from entrance into OR until her reappearance in the waiting area was seven hours. Whew!

Several tendon releases were completed, and then the intense work of bringing the right femur down into a new socket. They took about three centimeters off the femur to allow it to be pulled down into place more easily. This sounds drastic, and it is, but it's good because Maxim's knees are now even with each other and that will allow optimal stability later. The most complicated work was to try and shape the modified femur top to fit as well as possible into the new socket. Maxim's tendons and joints are so tight in some ways (most likely due to arthrogryposis, which I'll have to explain later when I understand more fully), it was really a challenge to get everything into place and frankly, Dr. Reinhart is troubled. I could see it on her face when she first came to get us and then late last night she came to see me again at Maxim's room. Daniel and the older kids had gone home earlier in the evening (I'm so glad we were all together during the surgery; it makes a great difference emotionally even if we were just sitting around waiting for updates).

Anyway, Dr. Reinhart took me into an office area and showed me the CT scans they got after the surgery. It shows the femur in a much better position, with a plate and screws holding it in place. Dr. Reinhart explained to me how she had hoped to be able to shape the top of the femur better for a solid fit into the hip socket. There just wasn't enough bone to do all she wanted to. So she wanted us to be ready for the fact that we will not only do the anticipated removal of the plate/screws in about six months, but she and her partners may seriously consider further work in Maxim's hip depending on how things heal from yesterday's surgery. Dr. Reinhart had tears in her eyes while she was explaining all of this.

I look at it from a little different perspective. If I thought for a moment that someone didn't do their job, I would be beyond disappointment. I would probably be angry. But this is just a matter of the doctor setting really high and valid goals for her work on Maxim, really wanting to do everything possible, and not being able to achieve all of it yesterday. I told her not to be so hard on herself. We have all gone into this, knowing that Maxim is a work in progress (aren't we all in one way or another?).

Really, the progress of this surgery, although not everything Dr. Reinhart hoped for, is remarkable. Maxim's legs will now have much great range of motion where they meet his torso, there is not nearly the level of tension between his hip and spine which existed before so we don't need to be as concerned about future problems with spinal curvature, and Maxim has hip sockets that are in line with each other. Now the tissue growth will be happening in the proper location instead of at some odd dislocated spot, so we have a lot of reasons to be optimistic that Maxim will get on his feet someday.

Please pray for Maxim's recovery. He has a lot of pain, off and on, as they sort out the best balance of pain meds, and also ran a fever during most of the night last night. Pray for the doctor and her team; especially that they will continue to be reminded that all their skills are a gift from God and He is the one with the perfect plan for Maxim. That's what we want to be in line with.

For those who like to keep up with Maxim's latest color scheme, his body cast is a bright orange, almost fluorescent. There is no way anyone could lose track of him.

Thanks for prayers and encouragement.

Shabbat Shalom.

In the Nitty Gritty

2009-05-15T14:27:00.002-04:00

Scheduled for 11:15, the surgery actually started at about noon today. I explained a little more to Maxim on the way to the hospital that even though he says his hip does not hurt, it is "broken" inside and that's why the doctor needs to help him today and build the big cast. Maxim wanted to know if it would hurt, of course, and I answered him honestly that it will hurt, probably a lot for the first couple of days. I could see some anxiety in his eyes, but then being the brave little guy that he is, he just started chatting away about the special things he knows he'll have to look at and play with after surgery. I know that chatting about something "off-subject" is a way of coping for him. It's not that he isn't phased by what's going on at all. Even if he does not understand all that is happening, he is very intelligent and not completely unaware either. In other words, I know we have to give him credit for hearing what is planned and taking it in in his own way.

Anyway, He and I arrived at Devos Childrens at 9:15, and went through all the typical procedures to fill out papers, get blood work to determine his blood type, etc. Dr. Reinhart went over the plan once again and I had a chance to speak with the anthesiologist as well. He will be giving Maxim an epidural after the surgery, just before they make the spica body cast, to get him through the first ten hours after surgery as pain free as possible. After going over the plan, Dr. Reinhart asked if I had any concerns/questions. I had the opportunity to say what I've been thinking all morning. I said, "I just want to tell you that we trust you but we also know that today you are a tool in Someone Else' hands." She smiled and said that she and one of the doctors had acknowledged and discussed that very thing in a meeting together earlier this morning. What a blessing to see them going into this procedure with confidence but no cockiness.

An hour ago, they called us from the O.R. to let us know they are into the hip. I assume they had been working on the simpler tendon releases in the region up until then, and so now they're prepared to go to work on the actual reconstruction of the hip. Right now it's 2:45, so we still have quite a bit of time ahead of us, having been told the total surgery would be at least 5 hours.

Thank you for all the phone calls and notes to let us know you're thinking of Maxim and lifting him up in prayer. Don't stop. The power and healing are truly only in the Father's hands.

Last Day Before Surgery

2009-05-14T22:38:00.002-04:00

Well, this is it. The last evening here at home before Maxim's first major surgery. We are scheduled to arrive at Devos Childrens Hospital in Grand Rapids at 9:15 tomorrow morning, with the surgery beginning at 11:15. Dr. Reinhart confirmed that they will remove Maxim's current casts (glow in the dark has definitely been a hit)after he is sedated.

A wheelchair that reclines well and can also be easily folded for transport has been delivered, along with a sling that adapts our present seatbelts in the van for use on a child who won't be able to sit up for awhile. So Maxim will be able to lie on pillows on the middle seat in the van and be well-secured. The list goes on, of things we've tried to cover as far as being physically ready for what's coming.

Aside from knowing that any healing Maxim is to experience will be according to God's will and by His hand, I know we are also completely dependent on the Heavenly Father for peace and emotional/spiritual strength in the middle of this process.

Whenever I am anticipating some major event in our household or just as an individual, I am always moved to search for some reassurance that I've done everything to be ready. I try to get the house in good order because that's always so much better to come back to. I find myself thinking about whether everyone in the household has had what they needed from me lately. Right now, I have been pondering if I have measured up these last four months since Maxim came home to us, not just with Maxim but with all the kids during the adjustment. Does Maxim really know we love him? Has my attention to him and level of patience been adequate? If he had any picture in his mind before, at all, of what having a Mama might be like, do I measure up? Silly, prideful questions, maybe, but that's what crosses my mind. This is a common thread in my thoughts lately, anyway, as our other children journey through the teen years, and there's just a realization that our intense parenting opportunities are not unlimited.

During these last few days, Daniel has been out of town on business. Thankfully, he got home early this evening so we're all in the same house again. He called us together tonight to just pray over Maxim as a family and that is always encouraging.

We have had some really beautiful weather during the last week (with a couple of thunderstorms as well), so Maxim has had several occasions to play outside. He has a certain spot in the backyard where he's allowed to take all the beach toys (shovels, rakes, etc) and dig to his hearts content, as long as all the dirt gets left in that same spot when he's finished. We also hung a Little Tikes disk swing from one of our trees (all the older kids have loved having a swing back up too)and thinned the apple tree blossoms (better apples in the end if you leave just the center "king" blossom from each cluster). Maxim enjoyed watching the ants on the ground under the tree and having petals rain down on his head as Brina and I worked. Maxim just had a really great time exploring the yard and collecting some good scuffs and grass stains on his casts. It's actually comforting that even though he has been confined to the casts for the last few months, he has still be amazingly mobile. I know things won't be as easy while he's in the spica cast after tomorrow, but trust he will still find ways to accomplish what he likes. He a pretty resourceful little guy.

I'll do my best to give updates during the next few days. Thank you again for encouragement and prayers.

Dear Natalia - A Letter On Mothers Day

2009-05-09T23:33:00.004-04:00

Dear Natalia,

You and I have never met and most likely never will, unless the Messiah wills it someday. But we share something incredible in common, nonetheless. A little boy named Maxim. You gave him birth and I, along with my husband and our other children, have taken him under my wing. And I am under the wing of the Messiah.

Here in America, we celebrate Mothers Day; a time to acknowledge and honor our own mothers and to be honored as mothers. This year I want to acknowledge and honor you.

I know very little of your story and that's okay. I am aware that you were born in 1977 somewhere in the Ukraine and that twenty-one years later you gave birth to a little boy named Vladislav, followed by our Maxim in 2002. Somewhere before or between these sons, I know you carried another child but lost it before birth. I'm sorry. I have never experienced the loss of an unborn child but I've seen the pain of it in other eyes. I hope you have found comfort since then.

When Maxim was born, you quickly decided to let someone else care for him. Maybe you saw that he would need special help you didn't know how to give and you were afraid. I understand. It is an awesome thing to hold any new child in your arms and know they depend on you, whether they are healthy and whole in the first place or not.

I trust that if you made your decision out of genuine desire to give Maxim the best, God will supply you peace in that. I trust that if your choice was made out of cold selfishness, one day the Messiah will lovingly open your eyes, and you will cry, out of both repentance and joy, because the Master loves you enough to show you where you are right now as well as your huge potential in Him. He loves you right where you are but loves you too much to let you stay there. It's the same for all of us.

If you ever wonder where Maxim is and if he is okay, I hope you come to know the only One who can miraculously reassure you.

I suppose you still have an certain image in your mind of the last time you saw Maxim. Limbs weak and twisted and vulnerable. If, God willing, you see him again some day, it will most likely be when we stand before the King. May you and I and Maxim all be counted worthy to do such an awesome thing. We will have brand new hearts; we will be new creations in Him, singing a new song given by Him. And Maxim will be standing straight and strong and completely confident in the Master.

Blessings to you, Natalia, Maxim's first Mama. Thank you for giving him birth.

Come and See

2009-05-08T07:30:00.005-04:00

Last night, as I was making dinner (taco salad), everyone was spread out through the house comleting different things for the day. Daniel has the older kids taking a computer keyboarding course and they were really enjoying that. Much more exciting then the notebook typing course I had them do a couple of years ago; several built-in incentives for both speed and accuracy. Cyan was dancing, as usual, and also talking quite secretively with Daniel about some Mother's Day plan she has up her sleeve.
Meanwhile, Maxim was stretched out on the living room floor, chatting away as he played out some imaginary scenario involving a long plastic chain (100 links for counting/math practice), a toy truck, and an American flag someone gave him yesterday at a National Day of Prayer gathering we attended. Anyway, when he had everything arranged just as he liked, he called to me and then said the first full sentence I have heard from him in English. "Come and see." It struck me as a really powerful. More than just a little boy wanting Mama to admire his handiwork. I remembered that the same phrase is in scripture more than once and when I looked it up this morning (Online Bible is a wonderful tool!), Psalm 66:5 was especially beautiful. "Come and see what God has done; how awesome are His works in man's behalf". I am overwhelmed just thinking that because I will keep this record of Maxim's first sentence in his new language, we will always be reminded in a special way of God's amazing and perfect hand. His works really are awesome, on behalf of all mankind and on behalf of one lone boy, set in a new place for a new beginning ( Psalm 68:6 "God sets the solitary in families....").

Glowing Report? Yes and No

2009-05-06T22:29:00.003-04:00

Well, today was Maxim's last casting of feet for awhile now. We are now in full get-ready-for-surgery mode. Dr. Reinhart gave quite a reality check today, as she and the team of doctors have all taken another look at the latest info on our little guy and have to concur that the casting of his feet has produced as much progress as it's going to. In other words, Maxim has truly reached a plateau in progression of foot position. They are no longer going to attempt further correction of position. They are simply going to cast his feet to maintain the progress which has already been achieved, to hold it until foot surgery is scheduled. The plan with Maxim's feet is the one we were hoping would not happen; a bilateral talectomy (sp?). The Talis will be removed on both feet. Picture looking at your foot from the top. The talis is the bone of the foot which fits right between the points of your leg as they meet the foot. Maxim's feet, although much progress has been made, are still positioned in such a way that the talis is still off to the side. So the plan is to remove that particular bone and then set each foot into proper position with pins. This will result in being able to walk still, but not with normal flexibility in the ankle. A stiff walk.

Bittersweet. Of course, we have hoped for more. I asked every question I could think of, not wanting to leave any stone unturned, as I feel I have unintentionally done in the past with regards to Cyan's special needs. Dr. Reinhart listened respectfully to everything I had to say but also reminded me that a whole team has looked at the evidence, and some of these doctors have been in practice over 35 years. They have seen pretty much everything and have good base on which to go with this decision. And I am truly excited to still look forward to Maxim getting on his feet in any way at all and walking. To do that at all would never have happened in Ukraine. So thank You, Heavenly Father.

We are nine days and counting from the hip reconstruction surgery (May 15) and Dr. Reinhart says the foot surgery will most likely be sometime around the end of August. This will give us a window of time, between recovery from one surgery and the onset of another, to take a break from any casts for a couple of weeks and travel if we want to, or just be free to go out to Lake Michigan and swim unencumbered for a little while this summer. When my sister Heidi was here in April, we went out to the lake with her and Maxim expressed wanting to go into all of that "big water". He is such a water bug.

One of the highlights today was that as we were waiting for Maxim's casting to begin, Brina noticed on the list of cast color options that "glow in the dark" was available. As soon as I explained to Maxim something of what that meant, he had no doubt this is what he wanted. So we haven enjoyed turning lights on and off this evening, letting him enjoy this new look. Unfortunately, if I use the flash, I don't get a good shot of the glow in the dark effect and if I don't use a flash in the dark room, I get no image at all of his legs. Sorry folks. The debut of Maxim's handsome night light legs will just have to wait.

Day to Day Activities and Crying In the Night

2009-05-03T20:51:00.012-04:00

Latest Picture of Maxim's Feet - Look Back At February 27th Post to See the Progress Made!
First "Signature"

Helping To Prepare the Garden

We continue to be amazed at how Maxim has adjusted these last almost four months since becoming a Campau. Lately, he has been busy in many ways, including helping to plant some of the things in our little raised beds that Daniel built. I am so glad he can experience even a small garden. We usually have several long rows planted on Daniel's parents' acreage but this year they are resting their land so we're learning about raised beds and square foot gardening right here on our urban lot. Daniel's parents brought us some wonderful manure/sawdust from a nearby farm where there are many horses, so we could add that to our sad soil. I guess we'll see how it goes. The thought of having some produce right outside our door is very appealing but I don't think we can come close to the elder Campaus' fertile land on our first go-round. Anyway, Maxim will get to see the whole process. The girls explained to him while he was eating breakfast this morning that Daniel and I were outside getting ready to plant. Maxim expressed delight at growing corn, noodles and chicken, but of course had to accept from the girls that, out of those three things, only corn would be planted here. Then, like many little kids, he wanted to go right out and see the corn growing. He will have to learn, like everyone else, that gardening is a lesson in patience.

Joel shared with me this morning that Maxim cries quietly in his sleep sometime almost every night. I feel bad that I have slept too deeply to hear it. I asked Joel what he does when this happens and he said he felt it was better to let Maxim sleep, but he lies in his own bed just feeling bad for Maxim. Who knows what's going through this little guy's head during the night. I wonder if it's during the night, when he has no wakeful contact with the rest of us, that his mind goes back to the orphanage in Tsyurupinsk. I wonder what he misses, if anything. I wonder what he envisioned when the idea of having a Mama and Papa was first broached with him and how we have measured up. In our busyness, I'm sure we are not always the Maxim-centric household he may have thought we'd be. When we discipline him, as every child needs at times, I'm sure we don't convey everything as clearly as we would like to and he must be confused at times. I hope that he always sees, hears and feels love and encouragement from us. When we are just seizing teachable moments to fine-tune his pronunciation, for example, there are occasions where we ask him to repeat something more than once, not to frustrate him, but to grow his ability to express himself clearly, for his own benefit. He doesn't always like this, and is sometimes not cooperative. Later, though, I hear him stopping himself mid-word and correcting a particular pronunciation on his own. He wants to please, no doubt. I just hope that as time goes on, he comes to know that he doesn't need to work hard to please us in order to be loved. Maybe that has crossed his mind. Who knows. These are just some of the things I have been pondering today since Joel shared with me.

The other day, Maxim was painting with water colors, which he really enjoys. I had turned away for just a moment and when I looked his way again, he had just finished writing his name (MAXIM), unprompted, all by himself. I was so proud of him. After that, he wrote it a couple of more times on other artwork, sending one of them to his Aunt Heidi. Not many days after that, our friend Thelma came over with her grandson Quinten so the boys could meet each other and as Maxim was drawing, he wrote his name again but in a completely different way. Starting at the right side of his paper, the completed writing was in this order: MIXAM. Interesting.

The casting of Maxim's feet continues although Dr. Reinhart has not seen much improvement for awhile. Maxim will be casted one more time this week and then not again until his hip reconstruction on the 15th. It sure is coming up quick on us now. One bit of good news is that our Michigan State disabled childrens insurance has now officially started for Maxim, retroactive to his very first appointment with Dr. Reinhart back in February, so we know we are covered completely for all the upcoming surgeries. Thank you, Heavenly Father, our awesome Provider!

On another note, no pun intended, Brina and Joel are finished with band and orchestra for the year. Brina was in Advanced Orchestra and it was so neat to hear them play at their last concert. They really blended well. You can never get the whole feel for the music until then, as a parent, because all that is heard at home is one individual student's practice all year. Next year, I'm just going to park outside their classroom more often and listen in. Joel's concert band went to State Festival this past Friday and they got a rating of "I" which is the highest possible rating. For those who have not experienced these festivals, it's not a competition. It is an opportunity for musical groups to be evaluated by skilled judges and then rated on several different aspects. First they go to district festival, to be evaluated at the same time as other bands in their section of the State. If they do well there, they are invited to go before judges once again, at state festival, with the best from various districts across the state. So it is always an honor to go to State, let alone get a good rating.
We're always bummed, though, because State Festival means the year has ended and there's no more band for us until next Fall. It creates a beautiful empty spot on all of the Wednesdays on the calendar for the summer, which is nice in a way, yet we miss it.
Brina's Final Fiddle Concert for the Year

As I write this, I have to say the biggest reason for taking so long for an update once again, is I have way too many things on my mind. This blog is meant to be a picture of one household's journey to adoption and beyond; intended to continue, most likely, through Maxim's main surgeries and recovery. I hope that it is an encouragement and mostly a testimony of what God can and will do. It's not about us; it's all about Him. That's all I have hoped to convey. Yet as He continually teaches me and molds me and stretches me, there are things that come up which I think must be written down, yet I'm afraid this blog is not the proper forum. I may be wrong; not sure. Maybe what He teaches and reveals to each individual, is all meant to be proclaimed, interwoven, together somehow. Maybe if we try to compartmentalize what He gives us, too much, we only end up adding to the confusion this poor old world already deals with.

What do you think, any readers out there? As I ponder specific deep social issues, what it is to live an authentic follower-of-Christ life, learning to be a good steward of time and talent and relationships, etc., may I just pour it out here or is it best to write on another blog/other forum? I do not claim to know all the answers to the things that weigh on my mind at times, but if the Giver of Wisdom, who promises to provide wisdom when His people ask, blesses me with even a tiny taste of it, I am afraid I would be dilinquent if I chose to be quiet. I am afraid that too much of what we see around us in this crazy world is due, in part, to true followers of Christ being too quiet. I am afraid to be a part of that and yet I know I already have been. Maybe the extremes we are seeing in policies and the society at large are a symptom of us having been a weak or completely invisible witness. Heavy stuff, but I want to hash it out thoroughly in my prayer life, for sure, and definitely in writing, maybe here.

As Maxim's mom, and the mom of all my children; as Daniel's wife; as a professing follower of Jesus Christ (Yeshua), with brothers and sisters throughout the Body, am I adequately conveying love, commitment, compassion, patience, generosity, diligence, and all of those qualities one would hope others see/hear every day? Can others see/hear boldness and faith and love? May it be so, only by God's grace.

TO KATIA, who wrote a few days ago, thank you for sharing your son's story. I would love for you to send a photo of him. It is so true that some things in life are terrible, but then we find strength (a gift from God) and even start to laugh sometimes in the middle of it all. May Fabian continue to be blessed with courage and strength.

Family Portrait At the Farm

2009-04-20T08:23:00.005-04:00

Thank you, Shannon (one of my many super talented sisters-in-laws)for this portrait

photos photos photos

2009-04-17T22:45:00.015-04:00

Scooter With Some Help From Brina
Rolling Out Play-Dough Lefse While the Rest of Us Worked On The Real Thing
The Real Finished Product - Labor Intensive But Worth Every Second
Maxim Has Fallen In Love With Matzo - Especially Onion/Poppy SeedMet His Aunt Heidi Who Came to Visit During Passover, From Washington StateGetting Ready for His First Ride in the Bike Trailer Daniel Built

April Update

2009-04-12T23:55:00.004-04:00

Wow, how time flies. Sorry for such a long spell of no news. Actually, so much has happened in the last month, I hardly know where to start.

We are into the Passover week, enjoying extra fellowship with friends and family, and just contemplating in a more concentrated way the weight of what Yeshua, the Passover Lamb, has done for us. He is truly the One Who brings us up out of sin and into new life.

As we go through the week, Maxim has seen us watch each others feet, take part in the special meal, and spend more than usual time at church. He has enjoyed trying all kinds of delicious unleavened breads and treats. We have talked more about how when he prays he is talking to Bogu, Yeshua. He is quite taken with that, at first a little taken aback and even frightened that there would be anyone who never sleeps, but then comforted by the same thing. Now Maxim likes to talk from time to time about what he knows Yeshua made, including him. Someday, we will be able to explain more to him about how it was all done at the will of the Father. Maybe all the earthly circumstances of Maxim's arrival into this world will never make beautiful neat sense to us, but there is no mistaking that the Father knew exactly what He was doing when He gave life to Maxim Matthew Campau. We are so blessed he is our son.

Maxim continues to be casted each week and although there is still progress evident, Dr. Reinhart seems a little discouraged that not as much is happening now. She would definitely like to see more each week than she has lately.

On April 2, Maxim went in to Devos Childrens Hospital in Grand Rapids for an MRI of his hips and CT scans of his feet. He was quite the trooper. Scared at first of the CT scan machine, but once he knew I would stay with him, not so frightened. It was finished in less than ten minutes and then we were off to the MRI. The sedation was administered by IV and lets just say Maxim is not thrilled when he sees a large needle heading his way. Once the port was set up though and I explained that he was going to sleep for a little while and I would still be there, it went fine. The anesthesioligist told me that once they started running the sedation fluid, he would be out in about twenty seconds. I had Maxim start counting and he barely made it to three. The MRI took about 1 1/2 hours.

On April 8, we were back at Dr. Reinhart's office to review the results. The general consensus of the team is that Maxim's right hip especially is in terrible condition. It is both dislocated and malformed. Then have scheduled reconstructive surgery for May 15. This will be an approximately 6-hour surgery in which they will move and remove bone, create a proper hip socket for the ball of the joint to fit into, try to make the most of good cartilage in the area, release specific tendons to give Maxim the best possible range of motion, and place a plate in the right hip region. He will be in a cast from the bottom of his ribs down for 6-8 weeks after the operation, in a reclining position. At some point they will modify the casting so that the hip cast stops somewhere above his knees, with enough space left for a break between it and the casts they will continue to do for his feet. I hope my description is not too confusing. Basically, you can just imagine we have a very interesting summer ahead of us. I am not quite sure how we will accomplish what is needed but I know Who is the Provider of wisdom and healing, so at least right now I can say we are not full of anxiety. I have explained to Maxim that in just four weeks he will have a cast that covers much more than just his legs. I have a brochure with pictures of other children in the same type of cast, so he can look at it and not be surprised when he wakes up in the same thing.

Meanwhile, I wouldn't say we spoil him, but honestly I am more mindful right now of what we need to let him be free to explore at the moment while he has the chance. For example, he is really quite swift scooting around the house in his leg casts. My sister is here visiting from Washington State, and she and I went the other day to the neighborhood park. Maxim loves all of the different slides and this playground has various ramps that are sort of a rubber-coated mesh, making it easily accessible for children with disabilities. So he had an absolute ball there, hoisting himself all over the equipment, casts and all. At one point, he wanted to crawl around the whole border of the play area, which meant going down the rubber-coated ramp and onto a short length of regular sidewalk. I decided to let him go for it even though I figured he would surely wear out the knees on his overalls. Part of me just wanted to let him go for it and and actually have permission to be scruffy and messy for awhile. He loved it and indeed went home with holes in his pants.

I have no doubt after observing Maxim for the last three months since we got home, that when he goes into the next casts, he will find yet another way to adapt. I am so amazed that he has not once complained about the leg casts. He is just too busy learning and soaking up being part of a family to focus much on this limitation. He has faced limitations all his life and I am sure he just doesn't see it the same way most of us would, having never been held back by any disability. He is already used to modifying how he tackles various tasks.

So go for it Little Guy. It will not always be an easy road ahead, but we have confidence it will be worth it, and your Papa and Mama, big brother and sisters will be with you all the way.

Maxim and the "W" Eggs- An Account By Cyan

2009-03-22T18:29:00.005-04:00

One day, Joel was making deviled eggs. Maxim was watching and asked what they were. Joel said "These are deviled eggs". Maxim, who has been listening to a lot of Sesame Street ABC videos, thought they were called "W" eggs and so he still calls them that.

I went a couple of weeks ago to see how they cast Maxim's legs. I helped him by holding his hand and telling him it would be okay while they worked on his legs. Many years ago, I had to have my legs casted too; for correcting my feet and legs because of my cerebral palsy. So I kind of know how Maxim feels sometimes.

Sometimes, I am tired of cerebral palsy. I think Maxim will get tired sometimes too, of his disabilities. I hope that he understands the casts will be good for him and I hope that anyone who is out there will read this and will pray for him. Maybe seeing Maxim's road will help other people believe in God better.

2009-03-15T22:36:00.004-04:00

Wow, how fast time is flying! Into the second half of March now. The older I get, the faster every year seems to pass. Makes me want to learn how to savor everything fully and properly. Haven't mastered that yet.

I'm trying to acknowledge the reality of this coming week without getting overwhelmed. Someone has an appointment every single day except Friday. Cyan's dentist says it's a good idea to consult with someone about maybe removing wisdom teeth now since they are growing forward on their sides just as mine did, but their roots are just buds yet. That's tomorrow. Brina has another adjustment at the orthodontist on Tuesday. Just a few more months to go with that and she will be free of her braces. Maxim heads back to Dr. Reinhart on Wednesday for another casting.
Thursday, I have my annual check-up. Good to stay up on that. We moms spend a lot of time, effort and love tending our families and can easily forget or put off taking care of ourselves in the blur. Don't make that mistake.

The casting is still going well but the doc did give me a reality check this last week that wherever he plateaus with progress in the casting is where they will set his feet surgically, if I'm understanding correctly. So as much as I hate seeing him have to be in casts on and on, every additional casting means his feet are into a little better position and his chances of getting up and walking sometime in the future are a little more likely. Maxim has never once complained about his casts. It always hurts some as they stretch his feet each week but once the latest set of casts is on, he just takes off at whatever he wants to do and doesn't let them hold him back. He is persistent and that will be a blessing to him for sure, just like it has been with Cyan and her cerebral palsy. Yes, wanting to be doted on from time to time but usually craving independence too. This morning, Maxim needed to use the bathroom and usually one of us will carry him in and get him all set and then he calls us when he is finished. However, this time I set things up in the bathroom so he could try climbing onto a bath chair we took out of the tub and set by the toilet, holding onto a bar we installed on the wall there for Cyan. Everything was placed right next to the toilet so I watched to see if he could get him self up onto the chair and from there onto the toilet seat. I stayed there and coached him not only where to put his hands for the best leverage but also to avoid using inappropriate things like the actual toilet seat as his handles. It took him a few minutes but he figured it out and then got himself down afterward as well. He was so proud that he called Papa to come in and see what he had accomplished. I think Daniel was afraid Maxim wanted to show what had been achieved inside the toilet; he was pretty hesitant to go in there. Anyway, this is one of the things I am hoping to balance; showing Maxim how to do things for himself as much as possible while also cuddling and loving and helping him in ways he has missed all his life. There are some people who promote the idea of really babying newly adopted children to varying degrees, even encouraging them to go back to babyhood for a time, but I can't see it. No offense to those who choose this route, and maybe it depends on the emotional scarring in a particular child, but I think there is also something to be said for loving a child like crazy while gently encouraging them to move forward in life. None of us can go back and do things over. If we try too hard, we miss living the present in the best possible manner.

Today was so beautiful out; in the low 60's and sunny. Friday was also very nice. I took all of the kids to a park called Van Raalte Farm, less than a mile from the house. It's a park with wetlands, walking and cross-country ski trails, a terrific sledding hill, all on property that once belonged to a doctor who was an original settler in the area. In the spring, it's just a delightful place to go for fresh air and stretching out if you don't have a lot of land of your own. So we headed over there and introduced Maxim to rolling on the hill. Maybe someone else does this too, but we've never witnessed it. Sometime during the day, when chores and homework are done, or we just know we need to blow off steam, we go over and walk Sydney, our Australian shepherd and we go rolling on the hill. Maxim couldn't quite tackle this because of his casts being at the angle they are, but he loved being out there and it was a pleasure to see him hustle around on the grass (and yes some slightly muddy spots too) and get nice and dirty. He really loves being outside and there was just something sweet about coming home and seeing that his pants and his jacket desperately needed to be washed. He got to just thoroughly enjoy being a child that day. He loved the playground too, with it's multiple slides and a tunnel to climb through.

Today, Brina spent quite a bit of time outside with Maxim, digging in the dirt with beach toys and shovels, drawing with chalk on the pavement, and taking him for a wagon ride through the neighborhood (she said he sang most of the way).

Several months ago, I recorded a harmony on our digital piano for an arrangement of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" that I was toying with as an intro to something else I'm working on. I had kind of forgotten about it until this last week. A few days ago, I sat down at the piano with Maxim and helped him play the melody with his index finger while the recorded harmony was playing. He wanted to do that over and over. I think in time he will really enjoy learning to play for himself.

Passover is just three weeks from this coming Tuesday, and we are looking forward in a special way since my sister Heidi is coming to spend that time with us. It's been a long time since she's been able to come our way and I haven't seen her since the fall of 2007. Wish their whole family could come but I know it's not practical. Can't wait for some together time. My girls, who are fifteen and seventeen, still made the charts where you "x" off days until the thing you're looking forward to comes. And of course, Maxim will get to meet another relative who has been anticipating and praying for him for a long time. I'm sure they will like each other a lot.

Please keep praying for those families who are still in various stages of the adoption process. Every step toward it and stage during it is in need of prayer saturation. Debbie, I'm thinking of you and Ola, hoping you will be back home this time next week and enjoying settling in under the same roof with the rest of your family. Hang in there.

Full Tilt and the Latest Look

2009-03-06T09:20:00.004-05:00

Ever have one of those days - I mean ooooooone of thooooooose days? With the school year continuing at full tilt and added running for Maxim, there is definitely an increase in time on the road.

Last Wednesday, Maxim was scheduled as usual for the re-casting process. They were also planning to do the hip pull where they would put Maxim's right hip in temporary traction during an x-ray to better evaluate the best plan for that particular issue.

Wednesday is also a day full of band and orchestra practices and piano lessons. So the kids and I all hopped in the van at 8 a.m. and headed for the Homeschool Building in Wyoming (a town about twenty-five minutes from home between us and Grand Rapids). I pulled into the parking lot there, Brina going right into orchestra practice and the rest of us finding an empty table at which to tackle other homework.

At 10:30, I left the older three there, having made lunch arrangements for them and knowing that during Maxim's appointment, they would be well occupied with either continued music practices or homework assignments yet to be finished. So off Maxim I went in the van. We pulled into the doctor's parking lot with a couple of minutes to spare, Maxim having taken the prescribed valium dose thirty minutes prior. As I reached into the van to lift Maxim from his seat, I spied Joel's trumpet in the back seat. My mind began to spin. I was the one who had suggested that Joel leave it locked in the van until he really needed it at 11:30, so it wouldn't be taking up unnecessary space at our study table on a typical Wednesday morning. Without even thinking, we had done the usual and now here I was with Joel's trumpet, needed in less than an hour, with Maxim about to go into a 1 1/2 hour appointment, minimum. Yes, I had just given Maxim the painkiller, but I also had Joel getting ready for his last practice before the District Festival, scheduled for Thursday.

I carried Maxim into the doctor's office, sheepishly explained my dilemma, and they were able to reschedule him for Thursday morning at 11:15. We then raced back to the Homeschool Building and delivered Joel's trumpet to him just in time for practice. He was so relieved. He said he had been praying that I would notice it there in the van.

I noticed during those hours after the valium dose, Maxim didn't not seem any different, so I hoped it would actually make a difference on Thursday, to help him relax for the hip pull as intended.

After, piano lessons were complete and a good moms visit at the same time, we were home by about 5:30. Long day.

Thursday arrived and after a little more calm early morning, we were all in the van again, except Brina who wasn't feeling well. The plan was to take care of Maxim's recasting and hip pull, and then go to District Festival to cheer on Joel's band and others participating.

Maxim was not afraid at all this time as the green casts came off. He had already planned that the third casts would include yellow on one side and orange on the other, and that's what he asked for.

Once the casts were off, the hip pull was completed within minutes and we were back in the casting room. During the pull, which the doctor had implied could be quite painful, Maxim had obviously hurt but was not overwhelmed. During the casting of his right foot/leg, however, he cried with gusto. Poor little guy. Earlier, when I had mentioned to Dr. Reinhart that I didn't see a great difference with the prescribed painkiller, she suggested I give Maxim some of the children's tylenol in my purse. Once this kicked in on top of the prescription, he was very relaxed during the casting of the last foot.

We finished the appointment with plenty of time to drive to Grandville High School where the District Middle School/ High School Band Festival would take place. It is an honor to be a part of and a great opportunity for all of our home schooled musicians to be critiqued by skilled judges. Joel's band ended up with a rating of "I", which is the best you can achieve there and this gives them the opportunity to now go to State Festival in April. Good job!

Yesterday, we were already back at Dr. Reinhart's office for another re-casting, as no other large enough time blocks were available later in the week. Each time we go, she looks at the position of Maxim's feet and continues to evaluate and ponder the best approach as time goes on.
Yesterday, she commented that maybe taking care of the right hip first would be most beneficial. This will be seriously considered after the MRI on April 2 to see how much cartilage he has there.

Dr. Reinhart also said the re-casting will continue weekly until they see progress reach a plateau. As long as the feet are continuing to improve in position, they will keep doing it. If Maxim's feet plateau sooner than hoped for, the doctor says the only thing they can do surgically is called a tailectomy (sp?), which is considered a "salvage measure"; sort of a "there's nothing else we can do for you" measure. In other words, PRAY. God knows the plans He has for Maxim and he also knows that Maxim desires to walk. We are trying to make the most of help available while learning also to put our true trust and hope in the actual Great Physician.

Maxim has been taking the initiative to pray all by himself over the last week and it basically a long thank you list. Wonderful to listen to, since he lists everything from pizza to cars to Grandpa, and if something comes to his mind more than once, he thanks God for it each time. The other day, he thanked God for Cyan three times in one prayer.

Maxim is not awake yet this morning, but later today I will take a picture of him again with his latest colors (red and blue), along with pieces of the casts that were removed yesterday. Wouldn't want you to miss what a little rainbow he has been these last few weeks.

Green Legs and Ham

2009-03-03T21:48:00.005-05:00

Modelling green casts and the Thomas Tank Engine blanket, a gift from our friend Jamie. I dare say Maxim has stolen her heart. Thank you Pam for your beautiful work, as usual, on the blanket. It is already one of Maxim's favorite things.

I can't believe we have come through the second week of casting already. Maxim has slept wonderfully, found ways to do everything he desires despite the extra weight to lug around and if there have been any bumpy spots in attitude at all, I can safely say they haven't had a thing to do with the process he is going through to correct his feet.

Last week, he chose green for his casts. Joel is determined to sign every set Maxim has to wear, so he is sporting big brother's signature as I write.

As we go through the days, Maxim is of course picking up on more language and definitely notices when we are talking about him, so we have to be sensitive to not making him feel uncomfortable that anyone would discuss him in any way that he can't understand. He is so comical sometimes, both intentionally and unintentionally, that the others are frequently running to each other to report the latest antic. For example, today Joel was making devilled eggs at lunch time and Maxim was observing from his chair, which Joel had positioned nice and close. As he worked, Maxim watched every detail and wanted to know what these interesting items were called. Maxim is absolutely convinced now that they are called W eggs. Onion rings are onnun dings. Tacos are thank yous. It is hard not to laugh sometimes, and Maxim is quite a ham who revves right up for drama if he knows he has our attention. However, I don't want him to ever feel mocked as he tackles this new language or other challenges ahead.

Last night, at meal time, Maxim asked if he could pray by himself. Understand when I say this that all he did was put his little hands together in a typical prayer position and ask "Maxim?"
I said yes. He said, "Dear Gah, tankooo Mama, Papa, Joel, Cy--------anna (Cyan), Beeta (his version of Brina), Lamma (his version of Grandma), Lampa (his version of Grandpa), Anya, Valya, Dada (last three are the people we stayed with in Kiev), machinas (Russian for cars), Ninny (his version of our dog Sydney), Jesus name, Amen.

Daniel is travelling a lot for work since Maxim came home. Just part of the territory right now since there have been so many layoffs. He is an electrical engineer by experience rather than degree. He has worked for the same company since 1984 and we have been so blessed to have such consistency. He has worked there in many capacities which is a good thing right now. At the moment, they need him on the road frequently since the majority of service guys are laid off. Going to various plants to help set up or trouble shoot machines he programmed is not unusual overall but now that responsibility is spread between far fewer guys. Anyway, this week Daniel and his dad are working over in Ontario, Canada. Maxim often asks where Papa is and when I tell him "business", he just sighs, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Again?" Yup, that's life right now. No complaining here, though. To have consistent work and income is never something to take for granted.

Tomorrow, Maxim will have the green casts removed and new ones constructed within minutes afterward. At the moment, he is leaning toward asking for yellow.

Dr. Reinhart also intends to do something called a hip pull to try to manipulate Maxim's right hip into a more correct position. She anticipated that this will be difficult and possibly quite painful so wrote a prescription for a carefuly set dose of a valium-type medicine to relax Maxim beforehand. May we actually experience and recognize peace straight from the Father.

The Road We Are On - No Looking Back

2009-02-27T09:20:00.005-05:00

Close Up of Maxim's Feet (Pre-Treatment)

First Set of Casts

We are off and running with the casts, as you know. I thought it might be good to show some pictures at the beginning of the journey so you can see the progress. It is an interesting road trying to make the most of the knowledge and skill that those in the medical community have been blessed with by God, while striving to put our focus most fully on God's perfect healing hand.
Of course, we desire that Maxim's feet, knees and hips just be miraculously set into place by the Great Physician Himself. We have heard testimonies of parents whose children were born with deformities, and after anointing and prayer, miraculous healing occurred. We desire that when additional x-rays are taken in the next month or so, the pictures will show changes for which Dr. Reinhart cannot possibly take credit. Not because we don't like her or appreciate her, but because we want all of the glory to go to God.

Maxim is actually into his second set of casts now. He chose green this time. He has slept great every night since they were put on. When the first ones were taken off on Wednesday morning, he was petrified. The tool that is used looks like an actual power saw, although the "cutting" of the cast is actually accomplished by vibration rather than slicing. Maxim was not convinced of this at first and the noise was scary as well. However, the nurse put the "blade" on her own palm while the machine was on to show Maxim that it did not hurt her. He cried loudly when she started working on the casts until I got right in his face with a smile on my face and asked him if the machine was hurting him. His eyes got big with surprise as he realized it actually wasn't painful at all. Then the process became simply intriguing to him.
After the fiberglass coating and plaster were removed, he really enjoyed removing the cotton cushioning fuzz underneath. For some reason he loves to repeat the word "fuzz".

There was a bit of a reality check for Maxim as he realized a short time later that I had been right in telling him there would be more casts after the first came off. There was some pain involved as his feet were manipulated into an even more correct position and the casting began again. However, I could tell he was glad to choose which color he would like this time and he even volunteered that next time he would like yellow. Some tears rolled out of his eyes as the doctor casted him, but he was very patient and cooperative. Such a good boy.

Helping Mom Make Bread - He Was So Proud to Say He Did It With Mom

Maxim really loves to be a part of what we are doing in the kitchen, and other chores as well. During school time, he usually stays on the task, although sometimes his mind wanders and he gets a little goofy. Not unlike his brother Joel when he was that same age. Joel used to hang upside down off the edge of the couch when I was reading to the kids, and I would wonder if he was even listening. Then later he would repeat back to me what I had been teaching. Not that I think the kids shouldn't be taught to sit up and sit still at appropriate times, but there are times that we have to recognize different learning styles and the way each child is wired. They don't have to all fit into the same box to still be learning productively. Anyway, Maxim has already finished one of his workbooks, learning some eye hand coordination working through several pages of mazes. His other workbooks are dot-to-dots and beginning counting and number recognition. Other than these, which take maybe forty-five minutes each day, put together, he is learning by watching us and hearing us repeat things over and over. All through the day, he asks us what different things are and whether or not they are his. And lately, he has been repeating the names of different items without asking us what they are, and also naming the color of various things in the house, in English. Sometimes if I revert to Russian to name something or explain it, he will repeat it back to me in English.

Imitating Papa Praying At Mealtime

This whole process of experiencing adoption has been an amazing tool in God's hands to set us thinking about our family life from this day forward. Our time with our teens to continue instilling a strong foundation is slipping by quickly and training Maxim is a tremendous privilege and responsibility at the same time as well. It has provoked a lot of thought, prayer and conversation at our house about what would glorify God in our family. The other night, Daniel called a family meeting and asked each of us to tell what we felt we could be praying for that would truly honor God. In the end, all but Maxim had given an answer. Brina wrote out the list on an index card for each one of us, so we won't forget to pray for the things that God brought to our minds that night. Joel suggested praying for wisdom, however God wants to give it. Daniel said we should be praying that we will always be people of integrity. Bravery to do the right thing was on Brina's heart. My mind went right away to wanting God to put us exactly where He wants us. Cyan wanted to pray that we will know how to praise God in everything we do.
It was really powerful to hear what God had put on everyone's mind and as we continue to pray for these things now, because we are learning to want to honor God first, won't it be interesting to watch for the fruits. Not what we can get get get because we "said just the right words", as if God is our genie, but because a little more each day, we want to be counted among the righteous and pray in His will.

Casting

2009-02-22T10:09:00.003-05:00

Sorry to take so long in updating. I was hoping to post some photos alongside the latest news but have misplace a necessary cable. Oh well, I will do my best to add those as soon as possible.

On Wednesday the 18th, I took Maxim to Grand Rapids for his first visit with the specialists. Dr. Donnie Reinhart is in charge of his care on the road ahead but is part of a team who will review all of the x-rays and work together in deciding the best approaches for helping Maxim.

Daniel and I knew before we even went to Ukraine that Maxim has club feet and issues of some sort with his hips. Obviously, through the x-rays, we have a much more detailed vision of Maxim's condition.

First of all, the doctor could see, with the x-rays and scars on Maxim's feet and heel-cord areas, that surgery was attempted at some point in Ukraine but was not successful. We had noticed some, but not all, of the scars and wondered about this.
Dr. Reinhart says that the techniques used were probably done with the best of intentions but without the knowledge available in more advanced medical communities, and therefore was of no benefit to Maxim. It is actually now to Maxim's disadvantage because it created scar tissue that our local doctors will have to work through/around at some point later this year.

None of our translated medical history papers from Ukraine noted any surgeries so we will never know whether certain papers were never transferred from the baby house to the orphanage or if certain details were "conveniently left out" of Maxim's history by the people we dealt with in Ukraine. Either one is a real possibility but it's okay if we never know the answer. It is enough to just start from what we know now and look to the Great Physician for wisdom, strength, and healing for Maxim.

After seeing the x-rays taken, Dr. Reinhart spelled out for me that Maxim has severe club feet, a condition in both knees causing certain parts to be pushed to the outer side of each one, a slightly dislocated left hip, and a severely dislocated and mal-formed right hip.

Dr. Reinhart explained that the best approach with the club feet is to cast Maxim's feet repeatedly into progressively more correct position, and then do surgery after as much as possible has been accomplished through the casting manipulation. Because there was a time spot available that same day, Daniel and I decided to go ahead and let them start the casting process on Wednesday. So Maxim is now in full leg casts and will have them taken off and reapplied in a slightly different position every Wednesday morning for the next four weeks at least. During these weeks, Dr. Reinhart and the rest of the team will be evaluating how Maxim's feet are progressing and the maximum amount of correction that can be made for Maxim's feet, knees and hips under one anesthesia when surgery is done later this spring.

As expected, Maxim had trouble sleeping very well the first few nights. Uncomfortable from the casts themselves and likely experiencing some muscle spasms due to his feet being forced into a little different position. Wednesday night I put him on the living room couch and slept on the floor next to him. He woke up every half hour to hour, hurting. I had explained to him that the casts would be on for many days and then the doctor would take them off and build new ones. Several times, Maxim asked if maybe he could just have the casts on for one day and I had to explain again that many days were necessary. Thursday night, we put him in his usual bottom bunk in the room he shares with Joel and when I woke up on Friday I realized I had not heard a sound out of him during the night. I figured he must have rested well. However, Joel told me Maxim had once again wakened several times during the night and Joel, not wanting to disturb Daniel and I, had comforted Maxim over and over through the night. I felt bad that the boys didn't sleep well, but really proud of Joel for being so thoughtful to Daniel and I, and encouraging to Maxim. I felt like that was such a mark of maturity in Joel. He is really growing up. Certainly, imperfect like all of us, but some pleasant evidence of taking the initiative on being more responsible. Good job, Joel!

Friday and Saturday nights, Maxim slept so much better. During the days, he has been pretty much himself and quite the trouper. The casts are heavy, of course, so this slows him down but the fact that they are full casts in a slightly bent position (properly bent about twenty degrees so he can still sit easily) is actually allowing him to be pretty active. He won't be enjoying boats in the bathtub for awhile but still has a good time scooting around to gently "wrestle" or play tag.

We have really noticed an increase over the last week in how many English words Maxim remembers and repeats. Toilet paper, shampoo, dishwasher, dancing (he loves to watch Brina and Cyan practice), car, van, church, "Come on, Ninny" (calling our dog, Sydney), etc. I keep telling myself I need to get more of his voice on video and/or our digital voice recorder. It will be so neat to listen to later.

The Continuing Saga - Life Moves On

2009-02-16T07:41:00.011-05:00

Our Fabulous Four - Don't They Look Like They've Always Been Together?

As February races by, it is hard to believe Maxim has been home with us for over a month already. At the same time, it seems like so much longer. I think of everything our family has experienced in the last six months and it is mind boggling to believe it all fit into that short time period. Some recaps and updates are definitely in order.

My dad, who you may remember was diagnosed last spring with prostate cancer, joined us in Tennessee last fall, with my mom, to celebrate Sukkot. He seemed to be doing so well until just a few weeks before the trip. However, by the time they flew to Nashville from Seattle, things were not looking good at all. He was extremely weak and declining the entire week we were together, and besides praying fervently that Mom would be able to get back home with him all right for a surgery scheduled soon after, we were pondering whether we would see him again at all after that trip.

Of course, it was during that same trip that we received the exciting news from Bethany Christian Services that it was time to head for Ukraine and bring Maxim home.

Also adding to the unique rollercoaster of last year was our realization last fall that Daniel's youngest sister Carolanne had health problems that were snowballing downhill and we thought we might lose her too.

As we took off for Ukraine, my dad had come through his surgery well and was recovering at home, and Carolanne had finally been admitted to a hospital for much needed water, nutrients, medicine and just plain rest. It was still really stressful to leave the country at that point, but things were at least looking up.

Well, long story short, my dad is doing so well that when I call home, he is sometimes doing such things as working up on the roof of their house, or out kayaking which he so enjoys. He and mom were able to go on a trip to Mexico in January that Dad won through his local Kiwanis Club. The doctors say there is no need to do radiation as was expected at this point, and he doesn't need to go back in now for a few months. Thank You, Most High Father!

Carolanne received a diagnosis of ulcerative colitis and, through medicines, steroids and experimenting with different nutritional approaches, is doing much better. Still some bad times (don't stop praying) yet when I got home last month with Maxim, she had finished a beautiful knitted blanket just for him and presented us with some wonderful homemade jellies as well. I felt like our Carolanne is really coming back. Praise to the LORD the Almighty!

Maxim is doing soooo well. He went to the dentist again this last week. The first time was just a general checkup. This time, they sanded the malformed brown enamel on his left front tooth and paved over it with a tooth colored filling. It looks very nice. I had thought we would not do this for awhile as it would probably be looked at by our insurance as cosmetic. But they will cover the majority so we went for it. Maxim was thrilled when I pulled into the dentist parking lot and he realized where we were going again. He had to have the mask over his nose for the nitrous oxide gas (I think I'm namingthat correctly) but when the dentist, her assistant and I reassured him, he seemed to totally trust us and relaxed. After we were finished, he went to the treasure chest once again, this time choosing a rather ugly pink plastic pig finger puppet with giant googly eyes. He insisted that it is Papa. Yikes!

Some of the great things we are seeing in Maxim these days are that he is continually picking up and appropriate English words. No full sentences yet but naming things accurately, like shampoo, toilet paper and dishwasher. He counts items accurately in English up to twelve. Actually up to twenty but with some mispronunciations after twelve. He remembers various people's names accurately. No matter where we have been on a particular day, when we leave a place in the van, Maxim almost always waves and shouts "Bye bye, thank you!" Wrestling with Daniel and Joel is still a highlight of any day and this passed week, I introduced him to bread making. We have a chef hat the older kids were given years ago and Maxim got to where that and help me put all the ingredients into the bread machine. He was very proud when I told Daniel later that Maxim made the bread, but noticed that I had mentioned myself in the sentence. Maxim was quick to say "and Mama".

Once in awhile, there are moments of temper, but short lived. I have seen this come up primarily when he has to go to bed before the other kids (not every night but if their "teen" activities/responsibilites have them up later than usual), has a mistake pointed out to him in his workbook during school time (he is really doing well but I think he just so wants to get everything right the first time), and occasionaly when he has something I ask him to share (like the Cheezit crackers from Sabbath school; every little one should know that sharing one cracker with each of their siblings is not going to kill them). This week we reached another milestone; Maxim decided he does like salad after all. A LOT of salad. Once he took the chance to eat a bite that had a little ranch dressing on it, that was it. There is no stopping him now.

On Wednesday this week (the 18th), we go to Grand Rapids with Maxim for a two hour (minimum) exam and consultation with the specialists regarding what the necessary treatments will be for his feet and legs. Please pray for peace of mind on Maxim's part and wise counsel from those who see him.

Yesterday, I really enjoyed getting back on track with some things that were on hold for several months or more. The girls and I were able to grate a whole bunch of soap that didn't turn out properly last summer, melt it down and produce about fifty new bars of several different scents.
We enjoyed experimenting with various combinations of essential oils and I told Daniel that he is our official "company nose". I have almost no sense of smell and he has an extremely sensitive sense of smell, so he gets the last say in whether a scent is just right. Anyway, it will be neat to see some good product come out of what looked lost last year.

I made sourdough starter for the first time a week and a half ago, and yesterday Brina used some to make our first sourdough bread. The loaves are on the small side (think 8" round artisan bread) but really delicious.

Something about being home again has me praying and pondering what it is to be a virtuous woman; truly a woman who lives a Christ-like life in front of family, friends and community 24/7. No shred of hypocrisy. I realize this is not what Daniel and the older kids have seen consistently in me. For them, and now for Maxim, but most of all for the glory of the Father, I have to lay down in the palm of His hand and let Christ truly live in me. Some would say I'm too hard on myself about that and/or trying to be "good enough" in and of myself. But then I look at Christ's prayer and promise in John that after He died and ascended to Heaven, there would be others who came after Him who would "do even greater". That is not a blasphemous thought. It is the exciting promise of our King who knows what He wants to do in and through each of us, and that most of us have much longer physical lives ahead of us than He did on Earth, in which to be tools of the Father's in the physical realm. If we get to the end of a day and realized we have failed in a particular way, physically and/or spiritually, it's a good thing to honestly self-examine (asking the Father to let us see ourselves the way He does) and crave doing better the next day. I figure, after letting go of one tiny piece of our lives and seeing God bring the beautiful fruit of adopting Maxim out of that surrender, I want to come to the place where I am obedient in even more of what I know of His ways; willing to let go of even more so there is room for more fruit.

Thoughts From Cyan, Maxim's Oldest Sister

2009-02-07T15:39:00.006-05:00

When Mom and Dad were in Ukraine, I stayed at Grandpa and Grandma's house. I feel like my relationship with them and with God grew. I had the chance to spend time with Naomi and Nathan, my two youngest cousins, as well.

Just to be with Grandma and Grandpa every day seemed to be good. I have cerebral palsy and sometimes it takes longer for me to talk and to speak clearly. When I was at Grandma and Grandpa's home for seven weeks straight, Grandma asked me if I really desire people to understand me. My Aunt Shannon asked this too. Of course, I said yes. I want people to understand me clearly. So I tried to slow down and over the time, Grandma and Grandpa could understand me much better. This was a blessing that came out of having to stay with them so long.

One day, my mom and my dad emailed me from Ukraine and Dad said "read your Bible every day and pray every day". Before, I knew that God is there but I thought that my parents sort of believed in God for me. Now I know that's not right. While Mom and Dad were gone, I had to trust that they were going to be okay and I had to start believing that they were okay and I would be fine too, even though we were not together. God helped me stay peaceful about that.

I believe I have more confidence in God and a better relationship with Grandma and Grandpa now.

Having a new brother, Maxim, has been really neat. Sometimes it's hard because he does not know very much English yet, but he can tell us already if he needs to use the bathroom or he is thirsty or something like that. My favorite thing about Maxim is that certain things are difficult for both of us. Even though he is a lot younger than me, we can listen to each other and I can help him.

At first, Maxim did not like the vacuum or our dog, Sydney. Now, he often wants to know where Sydney is so he can pet her. With the vacuum, it is noisy of course, but now Maxim likes to help Mom vacuum by holding the hose down on the floor and sucking up stuff like dog hair.

Maxim looooooooves pizza. Yesterday, we went to the grocery store and Mom bought pizza. Right away, when we went to the van, Maxim wanted to know where the pizza was. Same at the house. Where's the pizza? Today, at the church potluck, he chattered away about pizza, although there was none served. I would say, without a doubt, pizza is Maxim's favorite food so far. He absolutely does not like green salad, although he is willing to eat some of the same vegies by themselves.

Dentist and Details

2009-02-02T08:28:00.003-05:00

This past week, Maxim saw our family dentist for the first time. It turns out he has quite a unique mouth. Remember, Maxim is six years old (will turn 7 in July) but is currently the size of a three-year-old. However, the dentist says he has the teeth of an eight-year-old (even one molar that would typically be present until age 11). All set in a little boy mouth. For the most part, everything looks healthy, with the exception of one cavity just beginning and a malformation of the enamel on one front tooth, causing a brown stain. They say he will be a candidate for early orthodontics in the next couple of years, but really our bank account will be the deciding factor in that.

Maxim loved the dentist experience. I had tried to prepare ahead of time for some anxiety on his part but he showed none at all. The dentist and her assistant were great about showing Maxim each instrument and it's sound and motion before actually placing them in his mouth. He was so cooperative and of course happy to retrieve a toy treasure as a reward after his appointment was finished.

On Sabbath, Daniel and I had the opportunity to share the details of our adoption story in a one hour presentation to our congregation. Although we struggled to put it all in a nutshell and there is so much that will just have to be shared in individual conversations as God leads, there were different people who were moved by the account and I can see that God is already using what He has done for us to speak into other lives. Not necessarily about adoption specifically, but to reveal that He is Almighty and will faithfully walk us all the way through whatever He has asked us to do. I have felt from the beginning that whatever He accomplishes in our household is not just for us, but meant to ripple out to others. I can see those fruits already developing, not because of us, but just because He is at work.

Pictures From The First Two Weeks At Home

2009-01-29T23:16:00.020-05:00

Thought you might enjoy some pictures. Sorry it has taken me so long to post any. I am just not very techy and Daniel, who is, is out of town on business. Anyway, enjoy.

Arrival in Grand Rapids, January 13. Daniel snapped the photo as we were heading to baggage claim.

As planned, Cyan, Brina, and Joel all wore green to the airport, and I had dressed Maxim in a green shirt for the trip, wanting them to somehow feel immediately connected when they first met each other.

Way back on Thanksgiving, with lots of relatives helping, this banner was created to welcome Maxim. Here, the kids are getting ready to hang it up for our arrival.

The following Sabbath, Maxim met Grandpa Campau at church. Don't they look happy to be together?

Riding around the house in a laundry basket pushed by siblings, wearing his handsome knee guard "helmet".

Brina remembered her supply of face paints and treated Maxim to "the works". He chose the colors.

The finished look.

Enjoying some time at the computer watching a Sesame Street numbers DVD. He loves to try singing along.

Working on his project in Sabbath school.

Wrestling in the living room with big brother Joel and Papa.

Maxim always looks forward to this when Daniel gets home from work. He loves to be loud about it and shout "One, two, three, pin!"

Having his hand traced by Brina.

Okay, we just got this little guy home, child #4, and look what he wanted to hold for the picture. Hmmm.

Maxim tries to be helpful in many ways. One of his favorites is using the hose on the vacuum, as long as the actual machine is a comfortable distance away.

Being puzzled with Papa and Joel.

Snuggles.

Welcoming Sabbath with sister Cyan and meeting Uncle Timothy and Aunt Shannon.

At the Doctor

2009-01-22T13:26:00.002-05:00

This morning, Maxim met our pediatrician, Charlotte Worpel. She is an excellent doctor as well as woman of faith. We are so blessed to know her. She gave Maxim a thorough exam from head to toe and is already in touch with orthopedic specialists in Grand Rapids who will see us soon.

Dr. Worpel said she is impressed at how many things Maxim has figured out how to do for himself and that he is persistent and generally willing to keep trying. He does have many issues that will need to be dealt with, physically, and we will need the orthopedic specialists' wisdom to sort out priorities.

I was encouraged that there is no obvious indication that heart problems mentioned in some of our Ukrainian medical papers actually exist. To be on the safe side, we will get some chest x-rays, but Dr. Worpel found no glaring reason to think anything is wrong. Maxim's energy, color and the sound of his heart are all good.

Although his club feet are severe, Maxim's right leg can be straightened all the way and he does bear weight on it when pulling up to furniture, seemingly without any pain. His left leg does not extend all the way. Dr. Worpel felt that his spine is in good condition and alignment at this point, in spite of sitting with his legs curled up all the time.

We anticipate that in addition to surgeries to correct the club feet, Maxim will also need work on his left leg to allow him full extension.

In Michigan, we have access to a state insurance for children with disabilities (up to age 21) which covers things related to their needs not fully covered by a family's primary insurance. We have this for our daughter Cyan as well. For example, if a special needs child is determined to need a walker and the primary insurance will only cover part of it, the state insurance pays the balance. The only time the state insurance will not do this is when the primary insurance has been unwilling to cover any portion of a particular bill. We have only experienced this once, when we decided to pursue some experimental treatments for Cyan's cerebral palsy. Those particular approaches were not FDA approved at the time (hyperbaric oxygen "dives" twice a day all summer in 2000), so our insurance company wanted nothing to do with it.

Anyway, we feel blessed that although our primary insurance has covered less and less in the last few years, as long as they cover something, state insurance still kicks in and special needs children don't need to fall through the cracks.
Having talked with parents in other states who have limited primary insurance and no state insurance, I more fully appreciate not having to choose constantly what to pay for out of pocket or not have at all. I can't imagine how difficult that would be. The set-up we have here in Michigan is not perfect by any means, but we are still blessed.

Maxim handled his check-up very well. Overall, his whole first week home has been remarkably calm. He is having to get used to some of the running we have to do on certain days in order to get his siblings where they need to go, but he likes meeting other people and seems fine as long as someone tells him where we're going and why. He is very persistent about not being "left in the dark". Explain things to him, and he's good to go.

Maxim is still figuring out our dog, Sydney. He sees the rest of us pet her and hears us speak to her without fear, but he also sees her exuberance and her size (10 lbs. more than him) and prefers to be well up off the floor, preferably somewhere like Daniel's shoulders, when Sydney appears.

Sleep continues to be going smoothly. Maxim rests very well and the only time he's been concerned in his room (shared with big brother Joel, thirteen) is once when he fell off during the night (Joel heard him, comforted him and he went right back to sleep), and once when Joel got up early and closed the bedroom door tight when he left the room. I think Maxim figured he was being left behind and he does not know how to reach our doorknobs. As soon as I realized he was in there crying, I scooped him up and brought him into my room where Daniel and I were having our morning prayer and Bible reading time. Maxim really likes to pray and enjoys carrying around a little children's "bible" given by a friend of ours. Daniel arriving home from work is a highlight of the day for him, because they always wrestle together (Joel joins in as well). Maxim loves to make lots of noise in the process and shout "1,2, 3!", even though he can't come close to pinning Papa.

As we enjoy welcoming Maxim and getting back to "normal" at our house, I am mindful that some families who were in Ukraine with us are still there. They have a journey yet ahead of them just to get home. Other families are freshly home as we are and in the adjustment period as well. Then there are the couples getting ready to travel soon (Debbie and Jerry, can't believe the day is almost here for you. Happy prepping. Hope it's going well). At every stage of adoption, prayer is the key. I cannot imagine how we would do any of this, the delights or delays, without being able to lean on the Almighty. He it is Who has adopted us and leads us through the process of adopting. During the process, families get weary and/or discouraged from time to time, so don't forget to lift them up in prayer. What is brought to your mind to pray over them may be something they've never even thought of, but God uses you to bring it to His throne on their behalf. Isn't it neat to think of how He uses us to help and encourage each other even if we've never met face to face?

One thing I have found interesting in my own adjustment being back home has to do not so much with how I interact with Maxim and the others as how I adjust to being back in the Amerian culture. There is a rush rush rush that I feel the pull of, although we have never been the something-every-evening-for-each-child kind of household. There is a part of me that wants to jump right back in to our own day to day routine (just get back to life) while another part of me is saying I have to give myself permission to be tired and time to process everything we have just experienced. Also, although our home is small and we have always had to regularly re-evaluate what we have and whether we really need it anymore, I see all our "stuff" from a different perspective now. I am in an intense season of weeding out and the kids are helping. After writing earlier that I was looking forward to coming home and no longer living out of a suitcase, I have to say that the suitcase scenario was actually more comfortable than what I sense right now. The amount of clothing we have, unnecessarily, stands out especially. I can't really put it into words. I keep trying but than I have to erase what I wrote because I just can't express it. Americans simply have too many choices available for things they don't even need. Our shopping carts are about six times bigger than the carts we used in Ukraine. That we keep filling them up is kind of shocking. I don't want to be part of that anymore.

One encouraging factor in this is that I lost over twenty pounds while in Ukraine so giving away those larger sizes has a certain sweetness to it.

Having to get rid of things is not the hard part; it's the realization that we have been mindlessly collecting too much stuff that is daunting. The realization that too much "stuff" clouds our vision of order and peace in a way and if we're not careful, it can happen without us even noticing. Having been away from all our things and then seeing it for the first time in ten weeks, I think I've been given the opportunity to see our home as someone else sees it for the first time. I have a lot to learn about organization and about balancing the enjoyiment of blessings from God without being tied down by what we own and too focused on the material.

Sweet Home

2009-01-18T22:42:00.002-05:00

You'll have to excuse us for checking out these last few days. It has been a joy beyond words to be back together and to finally welcome Maxim completely into his family.

Tuesday, the 13th, I was up by 3:30, Maxim by 3:45, dressing and eating a small breakfast prepared for us by Valentina. Pirogi with cherry jam inside and a quick cup of coffee for me. Maxim was duly bleary eyed but didn't seem stressed about the day ahead. Within thirty minutes, Helen and our driver arrived. Valentina and I hugged goodbye with tears and Anya escorted us outside. Thankfully, an elevator was cooperative this day. For a couple of days there had been none available so we were taking the stairs up and down eight floors.

As we said our goodbyes outside, I had one more opportunity to encourage Anya to wait for God's best. We had discussed earlier in the week how much pressure she feels sometimes to marry because everyone expects her to right now, even to someone she sees as immature and not ready. So I took a leap outside my comfort zone and used the moment to encourage Anya to ask God for His best and wait for it.

As we drove in the dark to the airport, Maxim was alert and studying things outside and asking about where we were going. I explained as I had before that we going to go on three airplanes that day and after the third plane, he would see Papa, Cyan, Brina and Joel. We would all be together.

Helen insisted on going to the airport with us and staying inside until she knew we were okay. We walked to the nearest window with a Lufthansa sign above it and I slid my and Maxim's passport to the lady. She immediately passed it back to me and said something I didn't understand. Helen spoke to her and we were told I needed to head to some other Lufthansa counters around the corner where Helen and the driver, Vadim, were not allowed to go. Trusting that I would find necessary help there, Helen and Vadim said their goodbyes and Maxim and I were on our own. At the second desk, I waited in line for about twenty minutes before being told that I had to return to the first window we had visited as that was the proper location for taking care of change fees; $200 for my ticket and $100 for Maxim's (because of the change from December 13 to January 6 to January 13). At first I presented the credit card Daniel left with me but was informed this was not acceptable. Lufthansa accepts change fees at the Kiev airport only in local currency or U.S. dollars. Crucial for adoptive couples to know. I had tried to get rid of much of the Ukrainian currency but I had set aside U.S. currency for the change fee as well. What a blessing of wisdom from above. If we had been depending on just the credit card, I don't know what would have happened.

Once the change fee was taken care of, we returned to the second counter and finished checking in for our flight. We still had plenty of time. As soon as we boarded the plane, Maxim remembered that I had told him there are toilets in planes so he insisted he needed to use one. I had just taken him in the airport so I knew he just wanted to explore. Later, up in the air, we made several trips. Maxim was also thrilled to have breakfast served to him on the little tray and enjoyed every bite of cheese, dark bread, fresh fruit and apple juice. At Munich, I hoped there might be some kind of play area where Maxim could work off some energy and not feel so confined but at the information desk we found out there was none. Unfortunately, even the waiting areas at the gates did not have carpeted floors that he could play on even for a short time, but overall Maxim handled the wait (four hours) pretty well. He drew in a little tablet with colored pencils I had purchased and just people watched. The only time he was obviously stressed and impatient during that wait was when it was time to board. I had presented our boarding passes, which had been accepted, and then walked through some automatic sliding doors only to find a very long downward escalator ahead of us. I spotted an elevator beyond it, but a locked gate blocked our access. I stood there thinking that in a moment, one of the employees from the desk would come and open the gate for us but no one came. Finally, when the sliding doors opened to let another passenger through, I called out to an airline person "Is someone going to help us here?" She replied that we could just head down the escalator, which had a bold sign attached to the top of the rail which specified no strollers (not that I was eager anyway). I pointed that out to the woman and she just said to never mind the sign and hop on. I started to think I must be missing something there, but no, it really does not make sense to send a person down an escalator while pushing an already disabled child in a stroller. Anyway, a man who was headed for the same plane, saw my concern and helped me carry the stroller down.

Considering the fact that the flight was over ten hours, he knows very little about etiquette with strangers in confined spaces, and the language barrier between us, Maxim did incredible on that long leg of the journey. We were especially blessed that the other person seated in our section of the row was a man from Bulgaria who spoke perfect Russian and English, so he was an encouragement to both Maxim and me. He pulled out Russian children's books he had in his carry-on, held Maxim up so he could look around the plane, and was just generally friendly and extremely patient with Maxim and all of his curiosity, all the way to the end of the flight when Maxim has pretty much completely "lost his cool" due to fatigue and undoubtedly some confusion about this seemingly endless trip. Maxim was extremely angry with me the last two hours of the flight because I limited his moving all over at that point so others around us could rest as they desired. Also, we had been fed multiple times, quite generously, on the flight and so at this time I had decided that the next time food was served I would decline it for both Maxim and I. I knew we had already eaten more than we accustomed to and didn't really need it and Maxim was also defiantly disobeying me in things I knew he understood. When he realized I really meant it and he was going to miss something because of his misbehavior, he blew. He was one tired angry boy. Discipline is sure a hard call when neither party is able to fully express themselves to the other, yet I felt I had to try. After we walked around the plane for quite some time with Maxim still furiously crying and trying to pull away, I stood for awhile by the back galley, attempting to rock him to sleep (he had only slept one hour all day). One of the flight attendants asked why he was so upset and I shared not only the reason for the conflict but also the fact that Maxim is newly adopted. She was very compassionate and encouraging which was very humbling because my impression of her earlier in the flight had been anything other than those qualities. I was blessed to see I had misread her. She was very helpful and Maxim and I returned to our seats with a little more peace.

In Chicago, the man who had been sitting with us stayed with us all the way to baggage claim and customs. Having lived in Chicago for eight years since immigrating, working the first four there in the airport, he knew just where to direct us. Another blessing.

Interestingly, in customs I met a couple who had also just returned from adopting in Ukraine. They were from Indiana and had a beautiful little girl with them, about eight or nine years old. In comparing notes, the subject of length-of-stay came up. They asked about the delays in our journey and I shared about discovering Maxim had a brother after everyone we knew thought he had no siblings. In this couples case, they also thought their child had no siblings and it turned out she had five. Definitely some things to be worked out in that area of the adoption issue. If the State Department of Adoption does not have accurate information about these children to share with those who inquire, there is a lot of confusion, if not heartache, ahead. By the time a couple is in Ukraine, they have already made a tremendous heart and financial commitment, not to be toyed with.

Once we were off the plane in Chicago, Maxim was very much himself again. We ate a little dinner and sat by a window watching the airport personnel working outside. What a blessing that the weather was not as fore casted and we had beautiful conditions for flying all day. When the time came to board our last flight home, just a thirty minute jump over to Grand Rapids, Michigan, Maxim was actually excited to get on a plane again. We went to our seat and sat for about ten minutes as others came on board. I began to chat with the woman seated next to me and when I heard the pilots announcement that we were about to take off and turned to buckle Maxim in, I found him nodding his head back and forth with his eyelids fluttering and then shutting completely. He was completely out for the flight. Sooooo tired.

Then of course, the very best part. We came down the ramp toward baggage claim and Daniel stepped around the corner, camera ready. I get a lump in my throat just typing it now. Just behind him were Maxim's new siblings, all wearing lime green shirts. We had discussed before the trip that they would do this and Maxim would wear his shirt of the same color that we brought him. It was meant to be a small way of showing him who he's connected to. As it turned out, he was still very sleepy and it was all lost on him but that's okay.

I can't begin to put into words how good it was to see Daniel and the kids. Especially the kids (no offense to Daniel). At that point, Daniel and I had been apart just over two weeks but it had been ten since I saw the kids. I was really feeling strongly the need to reconnect and have some assurance that nothing precious got lost from our relationship during this time. It was sooooooo good to see them and hold them; I confess I cried like I thought I would, but not the sobbing mess I thought I would be.

On the drive home, Maxim chatted away to the kids and kept looking up to the front seat and re-greeting Daniel, "Hello, Papa. Hello, Papa. Hello, Papa." At the house, Brina carried him in and we all explored with Maxim. Joel sat at the piano and played for him. They towed him around the hallway in a laundry basket and just savored finally meeting him. By eleven, though, we knew we needed to rest. Joel went to the top bunk, Maxim to the bottom with all the stuffed animals the kids gave him and the rest of us headed to our rooms. None of us woke up until the next morning around seven. Maxim and I both slept great and have since then as well. Truly have not felt jet lag at all; thank you Heavenly Father.

On this past Sabbath, I was surprised how emotional I felt walking into church, and throughout the service. Just the power of being back together with brothers and sisters in faith who have prayed and encouraged and helped us in so many ways. The joy of being back in this place that has been an integral part of our lives for many years and Maxim will hear many things of God that start him in his own relationship. It's also the place where I remember contemplating one Sabbath how to pray for Maxim. I knew of him, Daniel knew of him, yet we hadn't committed to adopt him yet. I remember when I knew it was the time for congregational prayer and thinking I would ask people to pray for Maxim, without sharing what we were considering. A part of me was still thinking, maybe this little boy isn't on our minds for us to adopt but just to get us, and others, thinking about the plight of orphans and how we can help in some way. Maybe Maxim is for someone else's household. But then I had a tangible feeling of being held back from making the prayer request out loud and a phrase came into my head; basically "You don't need to request prayer for this little boy. You're the answer." Anyway, coming into the sanctuary on Sabbath just felt like coming full circle.

Since being home, Maxim has been amazingly at ease, it appears. Sleeping well. Eating well. Thoroughly enjoying each of his siblings in different ways (it's definitely mutual. All the kids already ask when we might adopt again or if we can at least start looking at profiles from the agency again). Maxim loves to help with folding laundry, vacuuming (as long as he can direct the hose and not be too close to the actual motor, putting Windex on a cloth and washing the front of the dishwasher and stove, etc. Baths are a fun time and today he even met our dog Sydney, who has been away at my in-laws farm since the beginning of our trip in November. Maxim is half intrigued by and half frightened of Sydney. She is about the same size as him and has quite a lot of energy so I can understand his trepidation. However, by this evening he was enjoying watching from a distance as Sydney drank her water and later he reached out and petted her for the first time.

This week will prove interesting as Daniel has to be out of town on business (please pray for him as his colitis is flaring up again for the first time in a couple of years and medications don't seem to be making a difference at the moment) and Maxim has his first appointment with our pediatrician on Thursday the 22nd. She has been such a blessing of wisdom and encouragement over the years with Cyan's special needs so I trust that we'll receive a good foundation of counsel regarding Maxim's needs as well.

We Made It - All Birds Are Back In the Nest

2009-01-14T06:28:00.002-05:00

Just a quick note, the shortest ever here, to let everyone know we made it home! Praise the Heavenly Father. I will leave more details later today (it's now Wednesday; our flight got into Grand Rapids at 9:02 last night).

Thanks again for all the prayers along the way.

Headed Home

2009-01-12T11:39:00.003-05:00

This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

In my human weakness, it has been harder to say this on certain days in the last couple of months. But I have frequently wanted to say it and mean it. To rejoice, no matter what, is a choice we have to consider daily. Isn't it so much easier, to be honest, when the day goes smoothly in our opinion?

Today He gave us a beautiful sunny morning here in Kiev, though cold at -10 C. Maxim woke up in a great mood, he generally does, and was excited to go in the car with Sergei and Helen once again.

At 9:30, we were off to the medical center, where Helen went in a picked up the doctor's report from Maxim's check-up. They only release this once they see the true passport of the adopted child. This took only minutes and then we hurried across town to the American Consulate. That is actually where I have been running to several times, and I was mistakenly calling it the Embassy. Anyway, there was a huge line of people standing out in the snow waiting to go inside. The majority were people wanting to just visit the U.S. , some were immigrating, and a small number appeared to be American men who had married Ukrainian women and were obtaining visas. As I am an American citizen and adoptions are one of the things that the consulate makes a priority for expediting, I went right in with Maxim. Inside, I presented Maxim's passport (like handing over pure gold) and the medical report. About twenty minutes later, a consular officer went over the documents with me, had me sign certain papers and also verify that my signature on others was authentic, and within ten minutes my interview was over. Maxim and I went down the hall to the waiting area with toys and books, anticipating the completed visa soon. Sure enough, in less than half an hour, I had it in hand, along with papers to turn in when we land in Chicago.

After laboring and wondering and waiting for such a long time, I kept asking different people, like the consular officer and the clerk, "so that's it?" It was just so hard to believe there was one more requirement they were going to drop on us out of the blue. But they just smiled and congratulated me. We are truly finished.

Tomorrow at 4:20 in the morning, Helen and the driver will pick us up and take us to the airport. Helen will stay with us until we are cleared to get on the flight.

This is it folks. We are really heading home tomorrow. Praise God.

The Passport Has Landed

2009-01-10T12:47:00.002-05:00

This morning at about 9:20, Helen picked up Maxim's passport at Kiev's main railway station. She has it in safe keeping for Monday morning's appointment. I was writing to my parents earlier this evening that being able to feel truly confident about the timing of anything has been a long lost treasure for the last couple of months. Ukraine is a beautiful country in many ways, with an amazing and complicated history, yet we were so caught up in the adoption, we never saw it through the eyes of tourists. I don't regret focusing as we needed to on adopting Maxim, but it does feel strange to be heading home in just a few days without feeling like I have experienced in Ukraine what I would have under other circumstances. I suppose people will here in the future that we have been to this land, and they will ask questions we are not prepared to answer. I am thankful for the resources available so that after we're all home, we can continue to learn about Maxim's home land. It will be important to share with him.

Yesterday, I received several documents that I can finally read in English and the details are necessary to be aware of but it will be a long time before Maxim's ready to see any of it. That his mother walked away four days after his birth and never came back. Signed him away the day he was born. That he has a brother and does not get to know him for the time being; maybe never. A myriad of details that should not be part of any child's history. How I wish none of this were part of Maxim's story.

May his days from now on be filled with peace, love, security, confidence in those around him, a blossoming relationship with his Creator, and all the things a child is meant to experience. What a wonderful thing it will be to see him grow, learn, experience lasting friendships, and find out what it is to be in a family that stays along side him for the long haul. Finally, someone in his life that is not going to give up on him; instead he has friends and family who have praying for his well- being, healing, peace of mind and so many other things for a year now. Before we were ever face to face. May this be a tiny picture to him of how our Heavenly Father knew all of us and loved all of us before we ever took a breath. If he grows in wisdom from God as we pray he will, Maxim will understand that concept better than most of us maybe.

Adoption is the process of being hand-picked to enter a family (let me clarify that we did not hand pick Maxim; it appears that way to an outsider but he was chosen by God for us). God has hand picked each of His children. There is no way to fully take that in. I posted before about how I understand this a little better after meeting so many here who have not been exposed to the idea of a real God and the possibility of being in a two way relationship with Him. But for the grace of God, any of us who call ourselves believers could just as easily be completely unaware of Him or unconvinced that He is anything unique from the gods of the world. To have Him reveal Himself and work in our hearts and minds everyday, both encouraging and correcting, is a miracle. A miracle. A miracle. If I really get that, I ought to be dancing in the streets like David (danced with joyful abandon in praise to the Heavenly Father). If I really get that, how can I be quiet and not proclaim the existence and power and love of the Almighty?

Homecoming will have its own interesting twists and unexpected nuances, but I am really looking forward to seeing what God has in store. To be His is to be in the perfect hands of the King of the Universe. How exciting is that?!

Just a note to warn all people who will be in or near the Kent County International Airport on Tuesday January 13 at around 9 p.m., there will be an unashamed blubbering idiot reuniting with her hubby and children and introducing a little boy to his family. You might want to wear waders.

Once Upon A Train

2009-01-09T12:27:00.002-05:00

Within the next thirty minutes, a train will leave Kherson with a little package on board that we have been longing for these last two weeks. Igor called at about 6:30 this evening to let me know he finally got the passport. It will leave on the train from Khersonn at about 8:00 p.m. This morning, they had allowed him to go ahead and fax it to the Embassy and medical center here in Kiev, so I did accomplish the appointments at these places, but without a mysterious missing stamp I still don't understand, they would not allow him to actual leave their office with it. That's okay. I am just so thrilled that Maxim could still see the doctor today and I have now turned in all of our documents at the embassy. We won't fly on Sunday as hoped since the medical center won't release it's report for the embassy until we present the actual passport, and the embassy won't release the visa to us without seeing the actual passport. Yet I am sooo excited, knowing the passport is real and not a naive figment of my imagination which will never materialize. It is the perfect gift as we go into yet another Sabbath. I think I may sleep better tonight than I have in the last week.

I know Cyan and Brina and Joel and Daniel will all be disappointed that we can't get home on the weekend, but hang in there, my love and my kiddos, homecoming is just about tangible. This has been quite a road, and as a friend recently reminded me, when we are all finally together again, God is going to have to help us figure out what our new normal is. Nothing will be exactly the same as it was before this journey began, but that's okay. It's not supposed to be the same year to year for anyone. We are always supposed to be moving forward, looking for what God's will is as we press on. Daniel has told me that coming home and being home is a challenge, frankly, after such an intense last year. From his discription, it sounds something like post-partum doldrums. Our case worker talked to us about that months ago, letting us know this is a possiblity. after being so focused on something life-changing, it's occasionally hard to recalibrate life after the longed for event finally comes to pass. I don't want to believe I will feel this way, but I have to be ready. Please pray for us as we make this transition. Getting to the point of bringing Maxim home is not the end of the journey. It's the end of chapter one.

I am hoping to continue this blog , with some regularity, for the next one or two years. I have learned so much from other adoptive families online and I want to be a resource for others. It is important for families considering this same step to know that no two household experiences will be the same. It is important to be able to see how different couples handle travel, preparing siblings, working with disabilities and insurance, and just helping a child who has never known family life to mesh with everyone else. We are going to be learning and blogging at the same time, so others will hopefully see humbling mistakes as well as revelations along the way that help us weather those mistakes and become better for the experience.

Hey, I'm sounding like I'm already home. There's a hopeful streak breaking through here, no doubt.

On the Maxim front, our driver today gave him a Rubiks Cube and he has been mesmerized with it (now our hostess is trying to sort it out). I never did get passed completing three sides with those. May Maxim have greater success with it. His favorite passtimes here are doing somersaults off the couch and then being gently tossed back up to start again. When he goes to bed, he likes to have at least one book with him and the Super Man doll. When I do my exercises before bed and sometimes in the morning (push-ups, sit ups, stretching; you would be proud of me Daniel), Maxim likes to make Super Man exercise too. Sometimes Maxim tries to mimic me as well. Little does he know how much hard work and exercise he has ahead to help him with the feet and hip issues. He has great potential though. It will be worth the road ahead to see what he can accomplish in the years to come.

For those of you who remember your days of learning to drive or teaching your children to drive, maybe you have mixed feelings about that. I myself am really looking forward to helping our daughter Brina learn to drive after I am back home. Truly one of the things I can hardly wait to do. It's a milestone for her and I just see it being that helps us all see that everything is changing in our family in good and exciting ways, not just the adoption that has taken necessary center stage for awhile. Joel, can I pleeeeease go on your paper route with you? I don't care what the weather is like. Cyan, yes I would love to go grocery shopping and cook with you. Hearing the kids practice their instruments, and playing the piano myself (I have a ton of music in my head that there is no outlet for until I am home) is going to be a joy too. I am looking forward to Saturday nights at Mom and Dad Campaus. Shannon's dance classes and scrapbooking with my friends is going to be wonderful (or whatever I end up doing while I'm there). Stretching out with a good book. Etc. Just getting back into life at home. What do you enjoy in your family? What have you forgotten or neglected to do for or say to a loved one lately? Do it now. I can tell you there is nothing like lengthy time being kept away from family to make one appreciate these things and long to get home. Savor each other. Savor each other. Savor each other.

Meanwhile, blessings to you all. Shabbat Shalom.

The Passport That Is and Is to Come

2009-01-08T12:07:00.002-05:00

Igor just called me. He has seen and held the passport but the office in Kherson will not let him have it yet! They say it is lacking one official stamp which will not be available until tomorrow due to a "holiday delay". Soooooooo, no passport on tonight's train to Kiev. Here is the encouraging thing though; as soon as he does have possession of it tomorrow (may it finally be so), he can still fax it to the Embassy as planned. We might still accomplish the hoped for appointments tomorrow, albeit with a delay of about three hours. The actual passport could then simply be picked up from the Kiev train station (a ten minute walk from the flat here) on Sabbath morning allowing travel on Sunday. Still doable. Don't stop praying and lifting this up and knowing it is possible with God's hand in the middle of it.

As I am sitting here typing, the American National Anthem is playing on the tv nearby. A boxing match is about t0 begin between an American and a Ukrainian. I am not a boxing fan but how nice to here that music; it brings tears to my eyes. The United States of America is not a perfect place but I know I am blessed to call it home.

Whirlwind

2009-01-08T10:33:00.002-05:00

For those who were wondering, yesterday was Orthodox Christmas here in Ukriane; really quite secular for the most part. There is a great deal of ritual and tradition involved in the Mass, which we saw part of as we ate the meal. Actually that was the night before last. The actual Christmas day here involves visiting with family and friends and little children singing for treats. Overall, Christmas celebration is not nearly as elaborate here as New Years Day. The Soviet system was very effective in replacing religious observances with secular replacements.

Today, I delivered the "paper boots" to the Embassy as hoped. Our hostess went with me by metro and by bus and we were able to make it to the Embassy before they closed for the day at noon. Thank You Heavenly Father. Last night I was lying awake thinking and praying about how I had a certain plan for today, but even if it all went smoothly and helped things along in any way, I cannot take one shred of credit. Everything that works out for the successful completion of this adoption can only be attributed to the power and love of the Almighty. I want only to get home with our new son and a measure of both humility and sense of humor.

Anyway, at the Embassy they were encouraging about the things I was able to turn in and I have my official appointment there tomorrow morning at 11 a.m. If the passport arrives in Kherson today, Igor will put it on the night train which leaves at 8 p.m. and it will arrive in Kiev at 9:20 a.m. tomorrow. Plenty of time to present it wherever we need to and be done with everything in the afternoon. I am trying hard to be optimistic (although I have not heard from Igor yet, who was going to let me know when he picked up the passport in Kherson for us) without being completely crazy inside about this. Actually, Anya just told me that she called Igor for me to ask about the status of the passport and he told her he couldn't speak at the moment because he is at the passport office right now! He assured her he will call us here at the flat as soon as he has news. Oh, it is soooooo hard to wait.

While Valentina escorted me heroically through every stop I needed to make this morning, Maxim stayed with her daughter Anya. He helped with all kinds of chores and by the time we returned to the flat, Anya had helped him overcome his fear of vacuum cleaners. I think he now wishes the flat were larger so he could vacuum some more.
He also enjoys helping in small ways like wiping the table after meals and folding his sheets and blankets when it's time to close up his chair/bed each morning.

Today, he slept very soundly in the afternoon, having worked off lots of energy with chores and playing and consuming a terrific lunch served by Valentina. Cole slaw, tuna fish on rye toast, carp filets and juice.

We will have some interesting adjustments as we leave the Belokha family soon. Maxim likes them very much (as do I) and he has expressed that he would be very happy if I would agree to live in the apartment above with Daniel and the other kids while Maxim continues to live with these friends. He really believes that if he keeps asking, he can successfully negotiate such an arrangement with all of us. I am pretty sure there will be tears on the day we actually leave. From all of us. This place and this family have truly been a blessing in countless ways. God truly walked ahead of us to put us here with exactly the assistance and encouragement we needed. Yet a time will come to go home, and that is a very good thing; something to look forward even with the attached adjustments.

Just a Quiet Day

2009-01-07T13:09:00.003-05:00

Today was exactly what Maxim and I needed; just a quiet day at the flat. I had prayed about learning to relax more in these last days. Although I feel responsible to take necessary steps to finish up in Ukraine, I don't want to forget that the fact that I am here at all for an adoption is all God's doing. This is not about me "getting the job done"; it's about witnessing the Almighty complete wHat He began. Daniel and I talked together before we even got here about how blessed we felt that things leading up to our travel had gone so smoothly. We knew this could not have happened without God's hand on the process. I am remembering that when things are challenging, I also have to acknowledge God's hand in it all. If I never saw any difficulty, if I never felt helpless along the way, I would not have the same opportunity to see His strength. So the bumps along the way can either be looked at as infuriating irritations or the perfect window of time for learning new lessons.

I used to read the Psalms and wonder about how in one he wrote joyfully and full of praise, and in the next was perplexed or angy or downhearted in some way. I wondered about all those ups and downs. As I have read through the Psalms again on this trip, I understand this rollercoaster better. It is the expression of one who is dealing with all of life, transparently, while constantly trying to see God in all of it and pursue a relationship with Him. I hope that as I share things in the blog, I come across with even a sliver of that, rather than a wishy-washy complaining heart.

By the way, I got a phone call at about one o'clock yesterday afternoon that the "paper boots" are ready. Hooray!

This time in Kiev has actually been valuable in many ways I cannot deny and I don't want to forget. Here with the Belokha family, Maxim has had the opportunity, in his native language, to know a grandpa and grandma figure for the first time. He is going to love my parents and Daniel's parents and I trust his relationship with thiem will be beautifully blessed, but I am so thankful that as soon as we left Kherson, Maxim could be welcomed by people who have the grandparent heart toward him. He has made quite a connection with them. Part of me is a little apprehensive about what it will be like when he realizes they are not going to America with him, yet I think it's been a delight too for him to receive that kind of affection right away.

Valentina is an excellent cook of traditional Ukrainian foods, which for the most part consist of ingredients any frugal American household would also use, but in different combinations. For example, she makes a very tasty creamy layered salad with grated beets, carrots, chopped boiled eggs , tuna and mayonaisse. It is delicious. She also prepares pirogi which many of you may already be familiaк with. They are basically a bread dough filled with anything from a vegetable mixture to apples and ricotta-type cheese. Soups of all sorts too. Maxim and I have not gone hungry. In the morning and afternoon, I generally prepare breakfast and lunch for he and I with ingredients I have puchased (although we are frequently offered more of whatever was served the previous evening) and then we share the evening meal together with the family. Conversations have been very pleasant and interesting. The general culture and also the personal stories of this particular family are very humbling. Very few Americans truly know hardship like many have experienced in Ukraine even in recent years. We are, for the most part, at least a couple of generations removed from having $3.00 to get through the week. This family knows what that is like. They have been there, they know it's possible to get by on very little and still be generous. Their home now is small but beautiful. They have worked very hard and waited a long time for each thing of value they own. They patiently search for the best quality they can afford. And they are quick to extend hospitality (in our case, they immediately opened their home to us, having no idea how long we would stay). They do charge a minimal fee, but we feel like the most welcome guests. God definitely set us in this place for this time. May Maxim and I be used to somehow bless them as they have been used to bless us.

For those of you who know my email and would like to write, ask any questions, etc., feel free. I check my email every day.

Last night at the grocery store, I found a soft (except for the plastic head) Super Man doll. Maxim has really enjoyed that today. He has called it everything from Super Man to Maxim to Papa, depending on the game he is playing in his imagination at the moment. I have a great shot of him holding Super Man proudly. He likes to make sure Super Man has proper opportunity to use the bathroom.

Today was a tough day as far as Maxim's stubborn side. Overall, this side hardly ever comes out, thankfully, but he was pretty hard-headed today. Trying to balance the fact that he is six years old with the fact that he is the size of a three year old, with a lot of catching up to do in many ways, I have been having him take a nap after lunch every day. It gives him needed rest and also gives me and our hosts some quiet time. With the exception of the first days we had him in Kherson, Maxim has been really good about taking a nap each day. Today, however, he put up quite a fight. He was what I call quietly stubborn. Playing around on his bed, sitting up over and over, telling me no and complaining. None of it loud at all, but he was just being quietly insistently defiant. So I explained to him that I was not going to leave the room, I would be right there. Usually, knowing this is enough for him to sleep. Not today.
So I massaged his back for awhile. He played around poking me and blinking his eyes really fast, the kinds of things I remember doing when I was little and did not want to have to go to sleep and miss anything. I explained to Maxim that we would play after he had a little sleep and he just became more stubborn. In the end, I told him that I was not going to argue with him but that since he had been disobedient today, certain things that he really enjoys (namely three different containers of treats that were given to him, which need to be limited anyway) would not be available today, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. This was the simplу way I could think of to show him that disobedience
has lasting consequences. The next days will be the test in whether or not he really gets it. If I had just recognized that a nap was not necessary today, that would be one thing, but I feel I have to nip outright defiance immediately.

Maxim has a wonderful personality overall. So much potential. Often generous without being asked, happy when he wakes up, willing to keep trying when his speech or some other action is corrected by me or our hosts, etc. Like any little boy, he also has a lot to learn. I can say it is an incredible blessing to be a part of it. It will stretch all of us exactly as the Father wills.

Paper Boots

2009-01-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

This morning, I became the owner of "paper boots", translated for a fee from Russian to English.

You see, during this trip, Daniel and I have admired the nice leather boots that most of the women wear, and Daniel suggested that I should purchase a pair as a practical souvenir. However, what I ended up with this morning is not crafted of fine leather, does not have a finish that will last for years to come, and actually will not even fit comfortably on my feet. Yet the value of these "paper boots" will extend far past what I could have worn on my feet.

I had to make a choice this morning between the boots I would have imagined and the "boots" that I believe are more important at the moment, for about the same price. Based on my last post, you can probably figure out what I did and what my "paper boots" really are. They will be ready for me on Thursday morning. Praise the Heavenly Father.
Peace of mind and His blessing through others around me means much more to me than other material items at this point. May I not only have wisdom in the choices I make in order to finish the process here, but also not cause offense in the process. I really want to leave Ukraine having been a light and example of patience overall, although I have not always felt it. I do realize that the staff here is doing the job as they know how to, and the time and methods are not always of their choosing.

Sorry no pictures today either. Daniel, did you accidentally take the connection wire home with you? Anya does not have a port that is the right size to directly insert our memory card.

Anyway, I will keep clicking away each day, and post more photos as soon as I can. I got a great shot last night of Maxim enjoying a tin of crackers in the kitchen. Let me tell you, this boy eats with great pleasure. So many things are new to him that all of it is an adventure. It is fun to see him experience things for the first time. I do realize it is going to take some special focus to help him understand balance and moderation (don't we all need reminders in this?) but we can also learn from how he enjoys "the little things" we take for granted. To him, a ritz cracker with a bit of cheese is a morsel of gourmet delight.

Hope the first days of 2009 find all of you knowing you are blessed, no matter what. I heard prayer requests today from people who have lost loved ones, are suffering serious health problems, worried about finances and shaky employment situations, etc. These are real things that test us and weathering them well requires continually going to the Throne of the Most High for healing, wisdom and peace. This last Fall, I really thought I was about to lose two relatives in a very short time. My father and my sister-in-law. In my prayer life, I had to lift them up and also make a conscious decision at the Throne that I will praise God and trust Him no matter what. Neither of those relatives is without illness at the moment, but in the last couple of months, both have experienced His miraculous refreshing in different ways that can't be denied, so I am convinced again that no matter what is going on around us, His mercy is unfailing, He loves us and He is the Giver of life and every good thing. Every day, it really is possible to find things to be sincerely thankful for. I am thankful for knowledge of the One True God Who loves me, family and friends, technology to stay in touch, a terrific new addition to our household, hosts right now who extend themselves in hospitality in a way I am humbly learning from, good health, and the list goes on. If I get on my knees to do nothing but thank God for every way He has blessed my life, I can be there for a very long time. Not because of me but because of Who He is. Isn't that amazing to think about?

Daniel says that now that he is home, some of the frustrations he felt during the time in Ukraine have already faded and he wonders now why certain things even bothered him at all. Like the pain of childbirth, he says I will get home and life will go on and I will not even think so much of the "birthing" of Maxim. I will just enjoy what a neat little boy he is, marvel at the things he accomplishes, pray for him, snuggle and encourage him, and all the other things a mom treasures with her children. The things required to welcome him into our family will seem too small a price for such a blessing.

Blessings on your week.

Yes My Camera Still Works

2009-01-03T13:53:00.003-05:00

I am so sorry I have not been posting pictures lately. I will do my best to get to that tomorrow. Right now it is almost time to put Mr. Maxim to bed so I'm trying to be quick on the computer.

Today, I had hope to go to a synagogue service in an area called Podil (northwest east neighborhood in town). Helen, my local translator and Sergei the driver took me there a few days ago and the peoplу were so welcoming and assured me we would be free to join the congregation today. However, I ended up not sleeping well at all last night (too restless) and with our hostess (Anya's mother Valentina) feeling poorly with a sore throat and congestion, I decided not to to wake them for help with the taxi. It would have been so interesting. The short time I was there on Tuesday, I had such an interesting feeling. Even Helen commented on the drive back to the flat that she had an overwhelming sense of peace she has not felt anywhere else, as we stood in the synagogue. Because I completely accept Christ as my Redeemer, Master and Savior, a synagogue could not be my worship home, so to speak, but I did feel like I was among brothers and sisters. Hard to explain. I have have heard different teachers in the last couple of years comment that the Jewish community has a pull to the Torah that professing Christians need to consider and embrace, and committed Christians acknowledge that Christ is indeed the Messiah, which is the piece (peace) missing in a typical Jew's life. So as I stood there the other day, I felt at home yet aware that God has not yet completed the reconciliation of all peoples, tribes and nations to Himself.

Maxim has thoroughly charmed this household. He is generally polite, when reminded, although he has stubborn moments like any small child. For example, he does not like to go to sleep if everyone else is up. The other night, I planned to shower before going to bed. Having already washed Maxim that morning, I explained to him that I would put him in bed, quickly shower, and then come to bed myself. He sleeps on a fold out chair by himself and I pull out the couch in the same room. Maxim did not like this idea at all. It was quite a test for both of us. I want Maxim to learn that he is not King of the World, that he cannot expect to direct what everyone else does, and I especially want him to trust that if Daniel or I or one of his siblings say we are going somewhere but we'll be right back, he can trust us. Maxim does not understand this yet, so he began to cry. I decided to let it go this time. I climbed into bed and showered the next morning while Maxim still slept. When he awoke and saw my wet head, he figured out what had happened and was again unhappy. The good thing, however, is that for the most part when I correct him, he gets over these attitude issues pretty quickly. I don't think that holding a grudge will be a problem for him in the long run.

I am really looking forward to getting him into some good therapy when we are home. The family we are staying with recognizes issues with Maxim's speech that Daniel and I could not as easily discern with the language barrier.
Also, there is a lot ahead as far as surgery on feet, possibly on knees as well, and some dental work. Maxim is pretty tough though. Daniel and I have seen enough of his personality and persistence to believe that he can handle some of these treatments pretty soon after we settle back at home. I feel bad that Maxim is so tiny for his age (basically half the size he should be at six years old) but at the same time, I think this will be to his advantage as treatments begin. We have prayed countless times for God to touch every inch of Maxim with healing and strength so he can reach his greatest physical potential. I believe that will happen.

Tomorrow, we are going to take advantage of the time we have here and just go exploring. I figured out where some great markets and book shops are, within easy walking distance, so I'm hoping to find some nice but relatively light-weight gifts to bring home.

Without going into more detail than I should, I am really frustrated with the translation process of our final documents. Basically, there are Ukrainian documents, such as the new birth certificate with Maxim's new name, which have to be turned in at the Embassy, along with English translations. I desire, and have requested several times, that these be translated as quickly as possible so I can turn them in early, even before Maxim's passport is ready. By doing this, I can avoid multiple trips to the Embassy after the passport is ready. I have explained this multiple times and either my reasoning is lost in translation or they are just determined to do things as they believe necessary. I know that whether they fulfill my request or do it their way, Maxim and I will eventually step onto a plane and fly home. I am just thinking that getting everything that is ready turned in early will allow me the possiblity of getting home just alittle sooner. Hence, my goal on Monday is to go to the Embassy first thing and turn in what has been completed and also take other originals to another translation service next to the Embassy to see if they can expedite the other translations. Daniel, my dear husband, if this sounds sensible to you, please let me know. If you think I'm just being frantic, help me chill out. I just have a gut feeling that I should turn in as much as I possibly can before the passport arrives. I will save everything else I am thinking about the tale-end Kiev aspect of this journey for another time and another forum. "Enough said".

Meanwhile, Kiev is snowy but bright, and Maxim and I are going out tomorrow to just get some fresh air and explore.
The little stroller we found at the market place in Tsyurupinsk (after leaving our first on a train) is holding up remarkably well considering the slushy sidewalks and Maxim seems to enjoy the rides overall.

Blessings to everyone in the coming week.

Blessings in the New Year

2009-01-02T11:31:00.003-05:00

Here we are in 2009. Have you all hung up your beautiful new calendars? I am afraid our house is in a time warp at the moment since I am the one who generally takes care of changing calendars.

Remember the whole Y2K thing? Seems like yesterday, yet almost ten years have passed. As the century turned, I was a mom busy with three little kids eight and under, shuttling them to school, juggling what it is to live a faithful life as wife, mommy and child of God. What is that supposed to look like? I thought that to live a life that bears the Fruit of the Spirit required work work work and I could not figure out how to achieve consistency in it. I found that sometimes I could recognize God's peace in someone else but I was not sure how I could find it in myself.

I still do not understand everything yet but I can testify that I am learning all the time. God is great. He is Perfect and Sovereign. He is Love. He is Mercy. He is All Powerful. He is Salvation. He is Peace. He is Hope. He Was and Is and Is To Be. He is Truth. Like the law of gravity, established by God Himself, dictates that when an ball is thrown into the air, it must come back down, certain spiritual laws have automatic, God-established results. It is such a principle that says He is the Vine and believers are the branches and if we remain in Him, we will automatically bear the Fruit. We are grafted in. A healthy branch on a tree just automatically bears fruit because of what it is already a part of, not because of its independent straining to produce something. Yielding yielding yielding. Resting in the process that is already taking place in His hands. Of course, as humans, this is a choice we have to make every second of every day. A choice to yield. Clay in the Potter's hand that does not keep asking what He is doing.

I have, in my mind, been a lump of confused complaining clay lately. Not constantly, but just trying to figure God out. I know we came to Ukraine completely at His leading. No doubt. I do not doubt what He is doing. I sometimes doubt His methods and timing. Pretty arrogant when you think about it. I am one person, living on a planet that is so small it can fit into Jupiter several times, and Jupiter can fit into the sun multiple times. Now figure in the fact that our planets are part of one galaxy in a vast universe containing countless galaxies. God Himself set it all in motion, and chose to give us tiny human specks the breath of life and the Way to an eternal life with Him. He does not owe us anything, yet offers us the Ultimate.

God does not owe me any explanations for the length of this adoption process or the bumps along the way. He may graciously reveal some later, but now He just wants me to RELAX and let Him finish what He has begun. I do have His promise, as does everyone, that what He has begun He will complete. And not miss the blessing in the middle of the questions. Every extra day Maxim and I wait to come home is another one watch God provide for us and work through us. How I conduct my day with Maxim, how I approach the wait outwardly, how I express Biblical principles to the best of my understanding through words and actions, are all being watched by more people than I would have thought. This is truly a place where there are indeed faithful believers, but they are surrounded by a nation who for the most part has no concept at all of a real God at all, let alone One Who desires to relate to and lead them personally.
No concept of that at all. I have not encountered that before. Its one thing to live in a society where the idea of a real God is at least still floating around if not embraced by all. It is very sobering to be in a place where so many have had the concept completely erased from their realm of thinking. At least the time I spend with others here can be used as potential seed in a few minds. Not to my credit. Only God's.

Igor will be going back to the passport office in Kherson on the 8th of January. They have told him it will likely be ready that day and should be to me by the morning of the 9th. May it be so. I believe it is truly likely since our friends the McGowans already received theirs and are now settling back at home in the States (Martita, hope you are all recovering well from the journey and His peace is with you in all the adjustments; congratulations on the completion of adding your new son). On Monday the 5th, I will make a second visit to the U.S. Embassy to turn in more papers I have ready. It means paying a driver multiple times but in the end it will be worth it because when the passport comes, I will only need to spend about an hour at the Embassy to turn in the passport and Maxim's medical report from the doctor he will see here in Kiev. If the passport does indeed arrive in my hands on Friday the 9th, I will not want to waste any time filling out forms I can be taking care of now. I am going to be in "get this done and get on a plane" mode. God knows and He is already walking ahead of us.

So tonight, as we are into another Sabbath in Ukraine, I can rest knowing I am still in the hands of the Father and He has EVERYTHING under control. I will put our chocolate-loving, wiggly, ever-observant, stubborn, humorous little boy to bed and then myself, and see what tomorrow holds. Blessing and delight for sure, because it is His day.

Hello to new and old friends who have stopped at the blog for the first time. Shelly, I hope we can do some serious catching up. Blessings on your long awaited house full. I am thrilled for you.

I Have Had It!

2008-12-30T06:15:00.002-05:00

Okay, I admit I purposely used a play on words for the title today. Gotcha! Please know that I just meant I have already had chicken pox and I am sooo relieved. My mom emailed to let me know I need not worry. Yippeee. Maxim is fine too, as far as I understand, so our travel should not be affected by this.

Today is my birthday and John and Martita have invited Maxim and me to join them for dinner this evening. It will be a treat to see them again. They too are waiting for their new childs passport and anticipating Martita having to stay alone with their son in Kiev while John heads home with the other kids. I am sorry they may not travel home all together, but it is nice to know a friend is close by.

During our stay here in Ukraine, we have had the interesting blessing of little or no access to processed foods and frequent lack of time to stop and eat during the day. Hence, Daniel emailed me last night that he now knows he lost 20 pounds during our trip! I know I have lost weight as well, since all of my pants are desperately crying out for a belt. Natives meeting me must wonder what the deal is with my baggy look. I feel veryfrumpy. In the Ukraine, it is the practice to dress up even to simply go to the market. When you go out, you wear your best. I think it is an admirable thing to care about being presentable, neatly put together, when going out. However, the American way when travelling, at least in the Campau household, is to pack both lightly and practically. No frills. Usually a very good approach, but I admit I am looking for to getting home and pulling something different out of the closet every day. I will feel like a queen after living out a suitcase for over two months.

Today, after three oclock, Igor will go to the passport office in Kherson, and again ask on our behalf for speed in processing the passport for Maxim. I consider him a pushy tool in Gods hand. We sometimes have a hard time relating to his personality but there is no doubt Igor works hard, cares about the children, loses sleep over different cases and bumps along the way, and wants to see each adoption to its successful finish. Whatever happens, God gets all the honor and glory, yet we will always be thankful for the huge part Igor has played. He has admitted he has been to church only twice in his life and does not get religion at all. We hope that as things unfold in our adoption journey and in the other families Igor works with, that he will begin to recognize the work of God in all of it, and himself as a tool. What a beautiful thing it would be for Igor to become a yielded child of God. He would be an even more effective advocate for the orphans of Ukraine. May each orphanage and staff encountering adoptive families see true love and pure motives in each household represented. May they have no reason to doubt these children will be treasured, nurtured, truly loved members of their new families. May all nations turn to the One True God, obediently loving/caring for their children and widows and oppressed, and then experience the abundance He desires to pour out on His people.

A few days ago, I was chatting with our hostess as she prepared borscht in her kitchen. I had invented my own version in Kherson, but wanted to see hers. It is said that borscht is really something different in each kitchen. As she worked, she invited us to share the finished product. As we must often do, I had to tactfully thank her for the offer while also explaining that in our family, we avoid pork products, shellfish and other such things prohibited in the scriptures. I had noticed a large bowl of what appeared to be seasoned ground pork on the counter and thought she might be adding some to the borscht. Not wanting to offend, of course, but needing to be clear about our convictions. Anyway, she was very friendly about it and quick to explain that the meat I was looking at was a mixture of ground chicken and beef (I later realized she meant lamb for the latter) and then proceded to ask questions about our faith. As we talked, her daughter translated everything I said. In the end, the daughter said she admired our faith and that she does believe in God, but He is not for everyday in her life. Only for special occasions. I have pondered her comment ever since that evening. It made me think of how some people have what they call everyday dishes and then others that are only set out for special events. For this young lady, God is not everyday dishes. I want Him to be in my life. I think Daniel and I have learning something more about that during the adoption. Without looking at everything as being served and sifted through the plate of Gods hand, our focus gets quickly shaken and our anxiety increases. When we again set our reliance on His hand, peace returns and things that would ordinarily trouble us are actually remarkably easy to weather. I am so glad for the reminder here.

May the passport be complete today or tomorrow and on its way to us in Kiev. I crave moving forward.

Blessings to all.

Chicken Pox? , A Safe Journey Home and Memorial

2008-12-29T13:10:00.003-05:00

Daniel made it home to Michigan. What a crazy day yesterday was! He emailed me and said that the flight from Kiev to Warsaw left one hour late and he was stressing since the layover in Warsaw before his flight to Chicago was only going to be one hour. Yet when he arrived in Warsaw, he found that they apparently helв the Chicago flight for him and several others headed that way. Thank you Heavenly Father! Daniel said he even managed to sleep a little which is usually not easy for him when we travel. After about three more hours of sleep at home, he was off to work to test the new machine. Joel and Brina had already arrived back at the house from Uncle Timothy and Aunt Shannon and were sleeping. Cyan is still at the farm with Grandpa and Grandma until Daniel is rested and ready to get into some semblance of a routine. Timothy and Shannon have been so accomodating to Brina and Joel and all that goes with the life of teens. Shannon has driven them back and forth countless times to band and orchestra and piano lessons, science classes and who knows what else. They have opened their home completely and gone way out of their comfort zone to do so. Words cannot come close to express how that has blessed us. I am trying to think of the right ones and they just dont come to mind, it is such a huge leap they took to do this for us. Daniels parents have also opened their home to the kids, sweeping Cyan especially into their routine and looking out for her special needs. I just want the world to know we are so blessed with family and friends, near and far, who have supported us along the entire journey. Encouraging, prayerful, generous family and friends.

Yesterday evening, Anya, whose flat we are sharing (along with her parents Valentina and Anatoli) , realized she was breaking out in spots and called a doctor. He came and confirmed she has chicken pox. We quickly pulled out the medical file I have from the orphanage to see if Maxim had been vaccinated for this. In the space set aside for the chicken pox shot, they had marked and dated it but written the word flu, so try and figure that out. I do not remember if I ever had chicken pox so this adds another measure of adventure to this crazy journey. I suppose if we break out the best thing to do is relax and take pictures of us together with our spots. May it not be so, however. May we get through the next days, unscathed, and may Anya recover quickly.

This morning at nine oclock, Helena and Sergei came for Maxim and me. The goal was to get his birth certificate and the decree from the judge notarized and nationally authenticated (big words for another fancy stamp and hand-stitching along the edge), finish his medical check-up and take the above mentioned papers to be translated into English for the US Embassy. We accomplished the notarization and authentication, and got everything turned in to the translator. However, the doctor said that although he used to do exams even without the childs passport and fill the number in later, the laws are more strict now and we must wait until we can present Maxims passport.

So we wait.

Between stops today and during the lunch hour, Sergei graciously accomodated my desire to see a particular synagogue in an area called Podil and to visit the Babi Yar Memorial, dedicated to the Jews who were killed at a particular ravine in Kiev during WWII. I was surprised at how emotional I felt standing there. The thought of 100,000 people innocently going to that beautiful area, with their official papers and valuables, thinking they were leaving the city for safety and then being naked and slaughtered one week later is mind boggling. I looked around at the older buildings, wondering who saw and heard anything from the windows nearby. What a broken world produced that tragedy and without Christ, it is really that same broken world. That is why we are commanded to pray for the Peace of Jerusalem. To do so is to pray for the return of the Messiah. He is Peace. Come O Redeemer Come.

Praising God Again

2008-12-28T11:00:00.010-05:00

Just five hours ago, Daniel and I were in chaos, wondering what to do with botched travel reservations discovered at the airport as he attempted to board his flight.

After he returned to the flat, we were able to make new plans through Travelocity. At first, this did not seem like it would work as our credit card was denied. Then we realized that the card company was probably suspicious oа a one way ticket being purchased in a foreign country. Sure enough, when we called, this was confirmed. After we assured them this ticket was truly our intent, they cleared the purchase. Daniel took off in a txi summoned by our hostess Anya. Still, I could not know if Daniel made it. He left at twelve twenty for a thirty minute ride to airpot for a two forty-five flight. At three oclock, I was able to confirm through Travelocity that Daniel had indeed checked in a gotten on the flight. This all reminds of saying I heard a long time ago. God is rarely early but He is never late.

Maybe some of you never even had a chance to pray about this situation specifically but I know many are lifting us up whenever we come to your mind. Thank you.

Maxim and I had a delightful afternoon here at the flat and I am confident I will rest well knowing Daniel really is headed home.

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

2008-12-28T06:34:00.004-05:00

We are so blessed to be here in Kiev, with a wonderful family welcoming us and truly opening their home completely to us.

We are in need of prayer however. This morning, Daniel went to catch his six fifty flight home and was told his ticket had been cancelled. Turns out the payment information had never been forwarded to the airline by our travel agent, for his ticket our mine. Only for Maxim! Daniel needs to fly out today in order to be at work tomorrow for a crucial machine testing. Everyone there has been very patient and accomodating but we have already been gone much longer than we had anticipated and Daniel needs to get back to work.

Daniel returned to the flat as fast as he could, really miraculously, as he had left both the cell phone and credit card behind with me, as well as the flat address. We were able to pay for and confirm a two forty five flight (over the phone at twelve eighteen) home, via Warsaw, and Daniel jumped back in a taxi.

Pray pray pray that he might be at peace, safe along the way, and able to complete his journey now without mishaps or delays. He is going to be one bleary-eyed employee when he goes to work tomorrow, so please also be praying that he will have miraculously clear mind to see and hear what he needs to with the machine and it can be confidently cleared for transport.

Of course, it will be important for me to arrange and confirm proper flights for Maxim and I but I would also appreciate your prayers that Maxim and I will just both be proper guests in the middle of all this craziness; that as we run from place to place on Monday for his medical appointment and official document stamping, we will be safe and productive; once these documents are taken care of, we are simply waiting for the completion of his passport. Igor called the day after we arrived in Kherson, saying that he had gone back to the passport office there and spoken to the people on our behalf. When we had our appointment there the other day, they told Igor there was only a twenty percent chance we might have the finished passport by the 30th. He was told at this second visit he made that our chances are now fifty fifty. Go figure. Anyway, he was told to come back to the passport office after 3 on the 30th and he will keep me posted as to what he finds out. If the passport is ready on the 30th or 31st, Maxim and I may still be able to fly home before the 6th. If it is not ready by the 31st, we may have to wait until after the 6th to fly. If I am repeating myself for the umpteenth time about any of this and boring anyone to tears, I apologize. You know my heart to get home. We covet your prayers.

Blessings to all.

Clarification and Two Incredible Days

2008-12-26T06:45:00.005-05:00

Last Night at the Flat in Kherson

I thought I should clarify something today, first of all. In our last post, I showed all of us outside the courthouse this past Tuesday morning after picking up decree. So you understand, this was not another hearing. After the judge gave her favorable pronouncement on the 12th of December, by law we had to wait ten days to pick up the actual printed decree. That is what we were doing on Tuesday. Now I can tell you about the next two incredible, blessed days.

We were disappointed that the decree could not be picked up any sooner because the next step was to head down to the Crimean Peninsula to pick up the new birth certificate and this takes considerable time. Having already set our minds and hearts, prayerfully, on leaving for Kiev Thursday night, there was no time to waste. Daniel and I thought there was only one option as far as trains to that area and that the earliest possible one would not go until five forty five Wednesday morning and return at eight that evening. Anyway, Igor walked in Tuesday evening and said he had gotten tickets to catch a train to Simferopol at one o clock Wednesday morning. It is a six hour ride so this would put them in that town at seven, perfect for being the first customers of the day.

Before I continue, you have to remember that originally, Daniel and I werу under the impression that we had to both go down to Simferopol and it had been suggested that we take Maxim back to the orphanage for a last sleepover to allow us this journey. We hated the thought of this, so when we found out only one of us had to go, we were thrilled.

Well, Daniel and Igor got in a taxi and made the one in the morning train , getting down to Simferopol as scheduled, only to find a long line of people already at the birth certificate office because the computers had been down the day before. There were about ten people ahead of them and they were told that getting their mission accomplished that day was unlikely. But Daniel was praying and Igor was persistent and they received the new birth certificate. Daniel invented a new song to go with this event. To the tune of God Is Bigger Than the Boogie Man, you can now sing God is Bigger Than Bureaucracy, Bigger Than A Government and National Red Tape.

Now it was time to head for another office to have the official stamp put on the birth certificate. Seeing no other available way to get there, and trying to hurry, Igor put his thumb out and hitched a ride for the two of them. When they arrived at the second office, a guard stopped them and after asking the reason for their visit stated that birth certificate stamping is never done on Wednesdays. They would have to come back on Thursday or Friday for such a thing. Igor was flabbergasted to say the least, as was Daniel. Daniel started praying again and Igor told the guard that he was dealing with Americans who could not just come back another day. The guard pointed to a nearby phone with several numbers posted by it, telling Igor he may try calling someone inside the building to gain access. Igor successfully talked his way in. After he explained what was needed, the woman told him that he and Daniel could return at three for the stamped document. The two men walked around town for awhile, ate some lunch and headed back to the office at two. The finished product was ready. Hallelujah!

Now for the trip back to Kherson. As the train would not leave that area until eight, the guys decided to taxi to the local bus station instead. Along the way there were many stops and at one of them, Igor got off for some reason and had not returned when the driver decided to take off again. Daniel is even more limited in his Russian than I am so he did not know how to tell the driver to stop. Fortunately, Igor was able to run along side and bang on a window, gaining a seat once again. Whew!

So by Wednesday evening at eight, the two of them were back with the new birth certificate and ready for more local adventures.

Thursday morning found us with many things to accomplish, most importantly getting Maxim his passport pictures and the application taken care of. But Igor informed us that we must first take a copy of the new birth certificate to the orphanage director, go to a local office to receive the new registration number assigned to Maxim now that his name is changed, have another copy of the new birth certificate notaraized for the passport office, deliver gifts to the orphanage and say polite slow goodbyes. All morning we prayed and tried not to stress out as the clock ticked. Igor had also said the children at the orphanage were presenting their annual holiday show and we should not miss it.

First we went to get the new registration number. The woman immediately told Igor that this could not possibly be available for us until Monday the 29th! So off we went to the orphanage to present gifts to the director and the teacher for Maxims age group. Then it was time for the performance. As I looked around the room, I saw the faces of all the kids who have become familiar and dear to us. I saw tears in the eyes of some parents who had come to visit. I believe now that part of the reason I needed to wait (I cannot speak for Daniel) these days was so I could see those parents tears. Often Daniel and I have looked around the orphanage, trying to understand how people could completely give up their children, or send them to such a place and have contact only once or twice a year. It all seems so heartless. And honestly, sometimes it is, because of brokeness and foolishness and substance abuse and such on the part of the parents. Sometimes, however, the parents really believe this is their only option, not unlike the U.S. forty plus years ago. Just like the U.S. of that era, Ukraine is not an easy place to raise a disabled child. Access is impossible, or at least very difficult to most buildings, etc. So God used that hour I had to watch the parents watch their children to wipe out an element of bitterness I had in my heart. I needed that. Another reason I needed the wait was because after the show, we had one more occasion to see a teen girl who is about to be adopted but does not know it. She is discouraged and tired of being there, and we have really enjoyed her company. Seeing us getting ready to leave was really hard for her. I was able to wrap my arms around her, kiss her head over and over and tell her, through Igor, that God has her in His hands and has a plan for her. That she is not only in our hearts but in the hearts of others as well. We shook as we cried together. It is going to be such a joy to hear of her journey very soon into the very family who made it possible for us to know about Maxim last year.

After leaving the orphanage, we headed back to the office for the registration number. We have no idea what Igor said to the lady, but this time he returned to the car with the number. Now we could go to the notary. She was very kind, welcoming and quick to procuce what we needed. We finally had everything in hand to go to the passport office. At this point, though, it was past one and we knew we were into the lunch hour. Igor drove there anyway. Just as we were pulling up to the passport office, the notary called Igor to inform him of a mistake she had discovered on the document we had just picked up from her. Apparently, Igor had shown her a document from a previous adoption family file as an example of what we needed. When her secretary went to type Maxims birthdate on our document, she instead typed the other childs birthdate and none of us caught it before we left. Anyway, now Igor was really fretting because he knew we wanted to be on that night train and it now seemed impossible. He was so afraid we would be infuriated with him. However, the notary said that she would jump in her car and meet us at the passport office, to make the correction and stamp it again. This was accomplished. Igor did not believe that such a correction would be accepted by the passport people but we walked across the street to the office, and in less than an hour we had taken care (God had taken care of) the photos and application. Everything was complete for us to leave together for Kiev. In fact, we are in Kiev right now. What a miraculous two days!

What a joy to have such things behind us. Igor helped us onto the train last night, connected us with a young doctor in our car who spoke English and turned out to be a delightful travel partner on Maxims first train ride, and we said our goodbyes.

Igor will be continuing to work on our behalf, especially pushing for the passport to be ready by the 30th. This would require another miracle, but we saw several the last two days so we feel encouraged to pray boldly. From January 1 through 7, government offices are closed for New Years and Orthodox Christmas. We signed a waiver which allows Igor to pick up the passport for me, and send it immediately to me in Kiev, so Maxim and I do not need to make that twenty four hour round trip. This is a wonderful blessing which allows me to concentrate on other things that need to be done. However, if the passport is not ready and sent to me by the 31st, I will have to reschedule our (Maxim and I) January 6 flights to yet another date. I told Igor that the 30th is my birthday and the greatest gift would be to have the passport ready. He said he would go back to the passport office today and talk things over with them.

Well, that catches everyone up on the latest pieces of the puzzle. We are delighted to be settled in with a family who are friends of Igor, not far from the Kiev train station. Anna is skilled in several languages and has worked numerous times with Igor. She lives here with her parents. It is a beautiful flat with everything we need either already here or a quick walk away. We feel so safe and welcomed. We can now go into the Sabbath, knowing we are right where we need to be to rest and for Daniel to get ready for his Sunday morning flight.

Thank you for your prayers and notes of blessing and encouragement, once again. Shabbat Shalom.

Two Men and A Train and, Yes, Another Birthday

2008-12-24T04:17:00.004-05:00

Maxim Matthew Campau with his parents and facilitator Igor outside the courthouse. We had just received the judge's final and favorable decree.

We received the judge's decree yesterday. Hallelujah. No one can deny Maxim is a Campau now. The focus now is to gather everything for his passport and travel as well as copies of documents officials need to file here, stating Maxim has been adopted by us.

This morning at 1 a.m., Daniel and Igor took the train to Simferopol, where Maxim was born. While that area on the Crimea is beautiful and has a rich and intriguing history, and at any other time, we might enjoy exploring, now is the time for the men to just get the new birth certificate and head back to Kherson. They should be back this afternoon, leaving time to go to the notary's office, give the orphanage a copy of the judge's decree and the new birth certificate. If not this afternoon, we will concentrate tomorrow on getting Maxim's passport photo and application taken care of. It is still our intention to be on the Thursday night train to Kiev. It is important that Daniel go, of course, in order to make his Sunday flight. I need to go with Maxim as soon as possible, if not Thursday night, so I can get papers taken care of while we wait for the passport. As it stands, we misunderstood some crucial information. We thought that we had to start the passport here in Kherson (which is true) and could then pick up the completed passport in Kiev.

Apparently this is not the case. It is our current understanding that the completed passport has to be picked up in Kherson. So the basic scenario is that Daniel and I would still prefer to go up to Kiev together, allowing him to make his flight and me to do necessary paperwork and Maxim's medical appointment while we wait for the passport. Then, when the passport is ready, we're hoping that our translator can pick it up in Kherson for us and bring it to Kiev. If that is not an allowed option, I will have to travel back down to Kherson myself to retrieve it. Whatever is required, I must go to Kiev soon; otherwise, I will not be able to complete the Kiev things in time for a January 6 flight. So there's a prayer need you can be lifting up. Every region is different, so some offices have forms that can be filled out giving a third party permission to pick up a passport and some do not. As usual, we'll keep you posted.

Brina, our dear second daughter, is turning fifteen tomorrow, so I'm posting her birthday greeting early, in case we don't get to the internet cafe tomorrow. It could be a crazy day. Brina, we will call you either way.

Brina, you are blessed by God with talents that He will direct you in as you surrender to Him and ask for wisdom. Each thing that you enjoy and are drawn to can be used for His glory and for the blessing of yourself and others as well. As our more shy one, yet strong-willed, you have the ability to quietly think things through yet also the persistence to push for what you believe in. May God bless you with discernment to focus these qualities in ways that honor Him. As soon as we knew you existed, I believed you were an answer to prayer. God used you to reassure Dad and I when "experts" were not so reassuring after your sister's diagnosis. Some "experts" said we would be foolish to have more children, but the "wisdom" of man is foolishness to God. He knew you would add zippy energy to our household from day one and humor. God knew you were exactly the right next addition to our family. He knew the sister just right for Joel and Cyan and now Maxim. Who knows what else He is planning for you right now? Brina you are a beautiful young lady blossoming in your relationship with God and with friends. May His peace be with you and may it show in your life so others can see it too. Have a wonderful day, Briny Baby. Happy Birthday.

Around The Table

2008-12-21T06:39:00.005-05:00

Last night we were privileged to be included in a wonderful celebration. The McGowans invited us, among many others, to join them at a delightful restaurant in town, to rejoice to God and feast with them as they welcome a new son into their household. Daniel will have to post pictures later, but it was such a special time. As they recounted their own journey toward adoption, far longer and more deeply tested than ours, we marvelled at how God truly set everything into place for them to be here at this time for a specific child He holds in the palm of His hand. With the best of their wisdom and understanding and obvious desire to follow God all the way, they made plans years ago to have another child/children grafted into their family tree.

God has pushed and pulled and molded them for this time; right now.

As we sat around the tables, we listened to staff from the school their son lives at (he is one of only two orphans at what is actually a school for the deaf) share their love for this child and express both sorrow and joy as they seem him join the McGowan clan. We listened to John tell of praying for years for a child and caretakers they did not yet know. God, through His holy spirit, truly leads our prayers in ways we don't always understand at the moment.

I know of families who took the trip down the adoption road because they had an ever-growing sense that someone was missing at their table. I know of others who realized how abundantly they were personally blessed and couldn't imagine not sharing it with others, maybe an orphan. I know of others who leaped onto this path as the only way to have a family at all.

However adoption is approached and endeavored, there are challenges along the way. Financial.
Emotional. Spiritual. Physical. Questions will arise such as how can anyone come up with the kid of funds required? Why is it so expensive sometimes, when the focus needs to be just facilitating smooth adoptions into loving homes instead of on the business of it? How does a couple committed to integrity accomplish the goal of adoption in a world where corruption is evident? Will biological and adopted children mesh with each other like "real" siblings? Etc.

There are not always easy answers. In fact, sometimes the further into the process one is, the more discouraging it may be. Maybe even second guessing one's decision. Like any other giant leap in life, one may be tempted to say, "wait a minute, I thought this was God's will; why is it so hard right now?" Think of it like pregnancy and childbirth. There are more similarities than I would have thought. The actual day of birth may or may not be the anticipated due date. The length of labor varies greatly from child to child. Life issues come up as the child's arrival is anticipated, such as unexpected financial issues, that add stress. Then, as everything comes to a climax, the pushing stage so to speak, we may find ourselves thinking I cannot do this, even though we know rationally that there is no going back and we can't wait to meet the new little one. After the child's arrival, some birth and adoptive parents may say "that was too hard; I'm glad for this one but I'm never doing that again". And I can say from experience, that sometimes what seems to be a perfect pregnancy can still result in a child with unexpected special needs. Life is just unpredictable.

All of this physical focus takes away from what I could see again at the celebration last night. God has prepared a feast for His people. He does not want us to miss it. He is yearning to birth in each of us something beautiful and to which nothing else can compare: an eternal relationship with Him through the King, Christ. When someone new is grafted in, adopted by Him, it delights Him. He is knocking at the door, waiting for us to open it so He can come into our life and dine with us. It will require getting out of our "comfort zone" and going places we never imagined . It will require going where He leads although He may not even reveal the place or the reason until much later. We could say "oh, that can't possibly be what God is asking us to do" or "how am I going to explain this to everyone else" or any number of other things. Yet if we stopped there at that threshold, what would we miss? God knows.

As we pray for wisdom, acknowledge God in all we do and praise Him, and attempt to replace fear and anxiety with gratitude and rejoicing, won't it be amazing to see to who ends up around our table (through adoption, welcoming the widow or solitary, and wherever else a teachable heart surrendered to Him leads) while we wait to dine at His? Won't it be amazing to see how He will cause our lives to blossom, blessed and a blessing to others? That's the heart-pull that put us on our own road to Ukraine; realizing God was opening a door, asking us to not only peek through and consider but to take the leap and trust Him. Knowing that if we believed He is leading and we refused to surrender, we would miss (and our children including Maxim would miss) something the King of the Universe wants to do in our little house, of all places.

Tomorrow is day ten. I can hardly believe it. Once we set ourselves to focus on and enjoy one day at a time, it has not been so hard. Homecoming is almost tangible now.

I don't know how often we will be able to post, after tomorrow especially , but we'll do our best. Tuesday will be full with going to Simferopol and back for the birth certificate. Wednesday, Igor will walk us through getting Maxim's passport started. Thursday is a buffer day (and our daughter Brina's 15th birthday) for if there is anything else needed locally at the passport office. Then we should be on the train to Kiev with Maxim. So close to being finished. Praise God!

Day of Preparation

2008-12-19T03:48:00.003-05:00

As we anticipate another weekend here in Kherson, we are so blessed. All the added time with Maxim during the wait is enabling us to know him better so our hearts are as "knit together" as possible before the journey home that really is just around the corner.

We continue to find new things around town we'd never noticed before, such as the huge indoor/outdoor market west of the Internet cafe. We thought we'd already discovered it but it's really so much bigger than we knew. A true maze of large and tiny stalls. In this huge city, we only know of one store that would count as a sort of western style department store. The true department stores, it turns out, are the markets such as we saw yesterday. Every kind of imaginable edible and supposedly edible item is sold in the large building in the center of the market. I bought some beautiful leaf lettuce, tomatoes and onions. Just basics. A young lady walked up to us and gave Maxim a gorgeous big apple and complimented what a good boy he is. He thoroughly enjoyed some sections of that later in the day (the rest he wanted us to put away for later). Outside the food building, we found stalls selling wallpaper, lighting, coats, shoes, toys, socks/stockings, leather and fur hats, decorative molded Styrofoam used to embellish the outside of buildings (Daniel would be better able to explain how they do this and it lasts, but it looks very nice), etc. We found some nice gifts to take home to our other children. The exchange rate is continually going up in our favor (9.20 last I looked which means for every $100, we receive 920 rivna), which is encouraging for us while we're here, yet reminds us how desperate the situation is for local people. They are struggling.

Now, as we're into Friday, we are in "getting ready for Sabbath" mode. Maxim will be with us as we begin Sabbath at sundown tonight. Last Friday, I could hear someone in our building blowing the traditional set of blasts on a shofar and I so wished we could figure out who they are. It was a sweet sound. This afternoon, I will clean well in the flat, prepare a special meal to make the evening a different and delightful, we'll play music over Daniel's laptop, and tomorrow will be more quiet than the average day here, reading and discussing scripture, praying and just enjoying each other's company. And, of course, in the evening, we'll celebrate at a local restaurant with the other family joyfully completing the adoption of their new son. What a perfect way that will be to finish the end of a day set aside to honor the One Who has adopted us.

We have just three more days after tomorrow and we can pick up the judge's decree and the start the mad dash for the last required items. Our desire is to head for Kiev together as soon as possible after we have the new birth certificate, as I have mentioned before, and it's tricky as we going into the holiday time which effects what offices are open at what time. There should not be any trouble getting the birth certificate picked up and the passport initiated rather quickly. The challenge will be more in getting to Kiev as quick as possible after getting the birth certificate (in the Crimea), receiving the completed passport smoothly in Kiev and accomplishing required medical and Embassy appointments without any wasted days between. Not necessarily easy tasks in the first place, let alone with Christmas and New Year's sprinkled in the middle of it all.

Please don't stop praying. I look at the weekly Sabbath as a reminder of Who our rest is in, and I'm so thankful that it points us back to Him over and over. We are here in Ukraine, yet ultimately held in His hand. This gives preparing for Sabbath and for heading home with Maxim a level of peace like no other, and we know the source can only be the Heavenly Father, through Christ Himself. I am so thankful for His restoring that peace to my mind and heart as we finish this process in the next couple of weeks. I know there will be more tests, yet also where to turn for refreshing and strength.

PS Dear Daniel had mixed up a couple of details about Brina and Joel and the music program they're a part of. Joel is in Concert Band (trumpet) and Brina is in Advanced Orchestra and the Fiddle Class as well. Don't they look sharped all dressed up for the concert earlier this week (see last post)?

Band & Orchestra Concert

2008-12-18T04:22:00.002-05:00

Our Children Brina and Joel at the Home School Band & Orchestra Concert.

We are blessed to have our children a part of the West Michigan Home School Band and Orchestra. Unfortunately we missed the latest concert but we have enjoyed their concerts in the past. The above picture was taken from their recent concert. It is very fun to listen to the various bands, which start from very young children playing in the recorder band, all the way to Symphony Orchestra. Joel and Brina both (I believe) are in the Concert band, (I can't remember because it seems they are advancing all the time). These bands are very accomplished, and usually some of the bands go to the State Band Festival every year and compete with all the other accomplished High school bands in Michigan. It is not uncommon for the Home School bands to receive an A ranking. Anyway we are happy to have them in this organization.

In other news, Maxim is doing very well. He was happily singing today while dressing himself after a bath. He is a very happy child who is quietly grumpy when things do not go his way. Jenna and I are trying to teach Maxim that we pray before meals to thank God for all we have. I am sure he does not understand what we are saying, but it is interesting that sometimes we remind him to wait before starting to eat, and sometimes he reminds us to pray. He does this, not by words, but he looks at me and holds his hand up (We hold hands during prayer) then he closes his eyes. Today for the first time, he started praying some, he would repeat the names of our children, and himself and Moma and Papa. It was very nice to hear. I also appreciate what Maxim has learned for himself. He usually dresses himself, and then puts his own cloths away. The caretakers try to teach the children to do whatever they can for themselves. The children in Maxim's group have a nap every day around 1:30 in the afternoon, and they are taught to be quite during this time. I have a feeling that most of them don't get much sleep, but they usually remain quite. I am pretty sure it is the caretakers who are really getting rest. It is very hard for us to pick up Maxim all the time, and play and take him to the restroom. I had forgotten how much work this was as our (previous) youngest child is 13. I imagine that it is difficult for all the caretakers to have to lift so many special needs children. Consequently the children get very little "fun" contact with the caretakers. I do appreciate all the caretakers do for the children however, the children are loved and all there needs are taken care of. (This comment is based on what Jenna and I have seen in Maxim's group). There are several other groups that we are aware of but have not seen the interaction between caretaker and child.

Another Birthday and Many Blessings

2008-12-17T05:59:00.003-05:00

We are celebrating another birthday today. Our oldest daughter, Cyan, is now seventeen!

Hard to be apart for such occasions, yet great to look forward to reunion very soon.

Cyan, you precious not only to family and friends, but especially to your Heavenly Father. He has gifted you with persistence together with an overall easy-going nature. He has prompted you to keep trying in spite of challenges you face with your disabilities. He keeps increasing your grace, in your heart as well as when you dance. You are growing a servant attitude and as you keep studying (scripture and school), and acknowledging God in everything you do, He will direct your path. Some may guess that with your CP, certain things are not possible. However, God is the One who holds you in His hand and He has great plans for you. Keep dreaming.

Happy Birthday, Cyan!!!

As we are now on day five of the ten day wait, my attitude about waiting is vastly improved. One thing I realize now is that as we began our journey, we were in "go meet our new son and bring him home" mode. No focus outside that box. And, of course, knowing that our length of time here has some unpredictabilities, we were trying to be very careful and not spend too much. A wise consideration, certainly, but what this turned into, for a little while, was the tendency to stay at the flat and not explore; to not find ways to learn about and enjoy this place we may never visit again, and just be happy tourists for awhile. Who knows where God will lead next?

I really want to be able to tell Maxim about our experience here in positive ways. Yes, there have been challenges. Some culture adjustments. But what a shame it would be if my focus were that of the "ugly American" who wants everything her way, instead of going at all of this with a spirit of adventure and looking to see what we can both learn from and share with the people here.

Here are some things that have been a blessing here:

1)being able to walk almost everywhere we need to go. We need the exercise and fresh air and any other year, we could have had snow on the ground for weeks already, making it more difficult, but we've been blessed with cold yet clear weather.

2)time to know Maxim before bringing him home. I have to admit that the time we have here to spend with Maxim before he goes to the States with us is invaluable. As a small, vulnerable 6-year-old who has not known anything but life in a baby house or orphanage, it is so important for him to get to know us and feel our love for him right now, before we take him to the other side of the globe. It has been a good thing to meet him "on his turf" so to speak and make the transition more slowly. As Daniel and I look forward to being home as quick as possible, we also realize that too quick a transition would be more traumatic to our new son, and we don't want to overwhelm him unnecessarily.

3)we are mindful of how many people here have learned to make due with what they have in a way that is very foreign to Americans, for the most part. We try to be careful how we spend our resources at home but we learn from what we see here. Hand-made brooms (I'm assuming from the reeds of the marsh areas near the river), beautiful floral pictures crafted of anything from various colored seeds to fish bones. Certain aspects of society have become more materialistic since the fall of the Soviet Union (ads and commercials abound for more processed foods, and luxury items such as UV lamps for "getting some sun" indoors), yet there is an underlying culture of making things last and using every resource.

4) there is a history of great hardship over and over yet still trying to make the nation work. Not an easy task for a nation whose present boundaries have only been in place since 1991. We have to be patient with the things we see around us that make us uncomfortable sometimes, as this is an infant nation. And isn't patience something for which to be eager. Aren't we supposed to crave developing discernment between what is wrong and what is simply different?

5)hot water every day, which is not a guarantee here, and our power has never gone out, which is very common in the area.

6)a facilitator/translator who grew up in this area so knows many local things another person wouldn't and who has encyclopedic memory for sharing the history of his own nation as well as others. He has worked hard for us and sacrificed much time away from his family for us.

7)wonderful family and friends back home who have taken our kids under their wings for awhile, sorted through mounds of mail, checked on our house and sent prayer and encouragement. We can't wait to see you all.

So as we go into the last week, most likely, here in the region of Kherson, I don't want to miss seeing what I need to, so Maxim can hear a more balanced account of the land he has come from and also Daniel and I can come away from this experience, glad for the blessing of a new son as well as for the opportunity to see this part of the world. The land we are going home to and this land we find ourselves in now are both precious to the Heavenly Father, and teeming with people who all need Him and have great potential when surrendered into His hand.

In a couple of days, we'll be joining another family as they are celebrating the completion of their adoption at a local restaurant. It is great to share the "grafting in" experience with others and we have also been so blessed by the welcoming and encouraging of local Americans who've given up much more than we can imagine in order to be a light in this area of the world. They've opened their home to us more than once, making Thanksgiving special, accomodating us even when we came knocking at the wrong time, helping us connect with family back home when our phone was not cooperating, etc. Just examples of how God really was walking ahead of us before we came, so all our needs would be met and there would even be unexpected blessings of help and friendship.

Blocks

2008-12-16T07:21:00.002-05:00

Jenna in front of stone wall

Before I explain the title and picture, I would like to say that everything with Maxim is going well as we slog through the 10 day waiting period. I feel like it is slogging. We are not doing any paperwork (we can't legally at this point) we really have nothing to do other that to be with Maxim, (which is great of course). However we are getting a little stir crazy. I currently have things that can be done at work and I feel "Stuck" here. Oh well, I guess they do not call it "waiting period" without a good reason.

Ok now to the picture. Of course the photo shows Jenna my lovely wife, but what I am really taking a picture of is the block wall (Don't tell Jenna), Jenna is in the picture for scale. What are these blocks? Well they are cut out of the mountains on the Crimean peninsula. They are used very often for building around here, both in homes and in walls. They seem to be quite layered and not quite solid. When you examine them closely they appear a little like Swiss cheese with air pockets all over. Apparently these stones are favored for building material as they are cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Stone and concrete is almost exclusively used in build homes, even the second story floors and walls are concrete. I am told that any construction that I see from the yellow stone was done after the fall of the soviet union in 1989-90 time frame. The reason is during the Soviot Era, the destruction of the mountains in Crimea was prohibited. Interestingly, there is some very old construction of this same yellow stone from before the Soviet Era around Kherson. I have walked past truck loads of these blocks for sale at markets. I look at them and think they would never pass inspection in America as they appear fragile and crumbly. Not sure how sturdy they really are, but I have not seen any of the buildings which use this material collapse. The cost of the stone is 5 Grivna each. When we first got to Kherson the cost was just under 1 dollar, but now it has lowered to about 60 US cents each.

When we first arrived in Kiev the exchange rate on the street was 1 US dollar to 5.8 Grivna. It went down to about 5.7 Grivna, but in the last few weeks the Dollar has climbed against the Grivna. I just saw as I walked to the internet Cafe the exchange rate of 1 US dollar to 7.8 Grivna. This is great for buying food here, Jenna and I can eat for about 5-10 dollars per day (If we prepare the food). However our lodging is not receiving any break. We pay 65 dollars per night in Kherson, and it does not change as the value of the dollar rises. (Hmm, somebody is making money). Anyway I have to go now as I am expecting a conference call from work.

Out and About

2008-12-15T07:25:00.002-05:00

Well, time marches on. We are on day three of the ten-day wait and it doesn't seem quite so overwhelming now. I guess I was just feeling emotionally and physically spent and needing a second wind. I think it's coming now.

Maxim is quite a little goofball. Loves music too. We taught him a very easy Sabbath song and he tries to sing it a lot. Very sweet. The other day he burped and I asked him to say "excuse me"; it came out "thank you me".

He has the appetite of an adult and so far has not turned down anything we've exposed him to; tea, juice, pizza, even salad (he was not thrilled but agreed to finish with no argument).

Maxim has so many things that will be brand new to him but he is a people person for the most part, pretty adventurous and has a funny sense of humor, all qualities that I believe will help him adjust.

In certain ways, life at the orphanage forces caretakers to push the kids to do things that are good in the long run. Otherwise, so many children in the same place would be unmanageable.
For example, the children learn very early to put things away, be careful and neat when they are eating. However, questionable methods at times (what would come across harsh to many) and without the staff to really love every child individually. So we'll have an interesting journey trying to help Maxim (and all of us) maintain good habits through encouraging the best in each other rather than the fear motivation I think he feels sometimes. While with us the other day, he spilled some juice and when he looked up, it appeared he was expecting great punishment.

As I write, we have our first snow since we've been here. It started yesterday afternoon. Hardly any on the ground now but is around 25 degrees F. and I expect we'll get more before we leave the region next week.

Igor is visiting with family during the 10-day wait as there's nothing official we are allowed to finish until the wait is over anyway. We've enjoyed visiting with friends, leisurely walks, and much more time with Maxim. When Igor gets back next Monday, we will "hit the deck running" to complete the last details.

Thank you for your continued prayers. For us and many other families. Our friends the McGowans are into their ten-day wait as well and looking forward to travel home on the 31st. For the McGowans and us, please pray that there will be no delay in processing of the passports. We know of another family (hello Walkers) getting ready to come at the end of next month. All of these separate processes have their own special needs involved in addition to just wanting the "grafting" of these children into our family trees to go well.

Thank you for your notes of encouragement (and your e-hug Delanie; you made me cry). They are such a boost.

Blessings to you all.

When He Knows We're Really Family

2008-12-14T06:55:00.002-05:00

It is interesting as we get to know Maxim during this waiting period, to see how limited his understanding is of family. We take our concept of family so for granted. Slowly, he will begin to trust certain things. That a daddy and mommy love each other, enjoying conversation and laughter and kisses. That a daddy and mommy like to help, hold and encourage each of their children, with a smattering of necessary correction from time to time. That a daddy or mommy might have to leave for a little while on occasion but they look forward to and plan on coming back. That a daddy and mommy will not disappear when their child goes to sleep. That having a daddy and mommy means a little one doesn't have to rock himself to sleep any more, and he won't get in trouble for crying kind of loud when he's sad. A loving daddy and mommy means that when juice is accidentally spilled, no one will start yelling and belittling.

Brothers and sisters mean having someone to share one's history with from now on. Brothers and sisters mean not having to work alone when more hands are needed. Brothers and sisters mean sharing, looking out for each other, speaking encouragement to each other, praying for each other.

What an amazing design God has for the family. All of it meant to "flesh out" our relationship with Him. Our household is imperfect for sure. I would do many things different as a mom, if given the chance to go back. But God is merciful to teach us, let us know when we're off track. In fact, He pursues us relentlessly to get our attention, correct us and welcome us back to the Narrow Way. Because He has allowed us three wonderful teenagers (I will be a blubbering idiot in the airport when I see them again) and now this new little son, I know that God's vision for our family is much wider than the little box I have sometimes imagined. That is so exciting and encouraging. I can't wait to see how things unfold.

Daniel will fly home on the 28th so he can take care of work responsibilities he's been trusted with. He is very talented at what he does, and I'm sure they'll really appreciate him being back. Maxim and I will go up to Kiev with Daniel and I will finish the last appointments there on my own (with the help of our translator and driver we had earlier in the trip; it will be nice to see them again). Maxim and I have tickets now for the 6th of January. I would rather be home sooner and maybe we can still grab a standby earlier if things wrap up fast enough, but we had to be realistic in reserving tickets.

Every minute is one more closer to getting home. I am hanging on to this and to Philippians 4:6-8. I will hang on to on-going prayer, with thanksgiving, instead of anxiety. I will acknowledge God in all we are doing, and trust Him to direct our path.