Sweet Home

You'll have to excuse us for checking out these last few days. It has been a joy beyond words to be back together and to finally welcome Maxim completely into his family.

Tuesday, the 13th, I was up by 3:30, Maxim by 3:45, dressing and eating a small breakfast prepared for us by Valentina. Pirogi with cherry jam inside and a quick cup of coffee for me. Maxim was duly bleary eyed but didn't seem stressed about the day ahead. Within thirty minutes, Helen and our driver arrived. Valentina and I hugged goodbye with tears and Anya escorted us outside. Thankfully, an elevator was cooperative this day. For a couple of days there had been none available so we were taking the stairs up and down eight floors.

As we said our goodbyes outside, I had one more opportunity to encourage Anya to wait for God's best. We had discussed earlier in the week how much pressure she feels sometimes to marry because everyone expects her to right now, even to someone she sees as immature and not ready. So I took a leap outside my comfort zone and used the moment to encourage Anya to ask God for His best and wait for it.

As we drove in the dark to the airport, Maxim was alert and studying things outside and asking about where we were going. I explained as I had before that we going to go on three airplanes that day and after the third plane, he would see Papa, Cyan, Brina and Joel. We would all be together.

Helen insisted on going to the airport with us and staying inside until she knew we were okay. We walked to the nearest window with a Lufthansa sign above it and I slid my and Maxim's passport to the lady. She immediately passed it back to me and said something I didn't understand. Helen spoke to her and we were told I needed to head to some other Lufthansa counters around the corner where Helen and the driver, Vadim, were not allowed to go. Trusting that I would find necessary help there, Helen and Vadim said their goodbyes and Maxim and I were on our own. At the second desk, I waited in line for about twenty minutes before being told that I had to return to the first window we had visited as that was the proper location for taking care of change fees; $200 for my ticket and $100 for Maxim's (because of the change from December 13 to January 6 to January 13). At first I presented the credit card Daniel left with me but was informed this was not acceptable. Lufthansa accepts change fees at the Kiev airport only in local currency or U.S. dollars. Crucial for adoptive couples to know. I had tried to get rid of much of the Ukrainian currency but I had set aside U.S. currency for the change fee as well. What a blessing of wisdom from above. If we had been depending on just the credit card, I don't know what would have happened.

Once the change fee was taken care of, we returned to the second counter and finished checking in for our flight. We still had plenty of time. As soon as we boarded the plane, Maxim remembered that I had told him there are toilets in planes so he insisted he needed to use one. I had just taken him in the airport so I knew he just wanted to explore. Later, up in the air, we made several trips. Maxim was also thrilled to have breakfast served to him on the little tray and enjoyed every bite of cheese, dark bread, fresh fruit and apple juice. At Munich, I hoped there might be some kind of play area where Maxim could work off some energy and not feel so confined but at the information desk we found out there was none. Unfortunately, even the waiting areas at the gates did not have carpeted floors that he could play on even for a short time, but overall Maxim handled the wait (four hours) pretty well. He drew in a little tablet with colored pencils I had purchased and just people watched. The only time he was obviously stressed and impatient during that wait was when it was time to board. I had presented our boarding passes, which had been accepted, and then walked through some automatic sliding doors only to find a very long downward escalator ahead of us. I spotted an elevator beyond it, but a locked gate blocked our access. I stood there thinking that in a moment, one of the employees from the desk would come and open the gate for us but no one came. Finally, when the sliding doors opened to let another passenger through, I called out to an airline person "Is someone going to help us here?" She replied that we could just head down the escalator, which had a bold sign attached to the top of the rail which specified no strollers (not that I was eager anyway). I pointed that out to the woman and she just said to never mind the sign and hop on. I started to think I must be missing something there, but no, it really does not make sense to send a person down an escalator while pushing an already disabled child in a stroller. Anyway, a man who was headed for the same plane, saw my concern and helped me carry the stroller down.

Considering the fact that the flight was over ten hours, he knows very little about etiquette with strangers in confined spaces, and the language barrier between us, Maxim did incredible on that long leg of the journey. We were especially blessed that the other person seated in our section of the row was a man from Bulgaria who spoke perfect Russian and English, so he was an encouragement to both Maxim and me. He pulled out Russian children's books he had in his carry-on, held Maxim up so he could look around the plane, and was just generally friendly and extremely patient with Maxim and all of his curiosity, all the way to the end of the flight when Maxim has pretty much completely "lost his cool" due to fatigue and undoubtedly some confusion about this seemingly endless trip. Maxim was extremely angry with me the last two hours of the flight because I limited his moving all over at that point so others around us could rest as they desired. Also, we had been fed multiple times, quite generously, on the flight and so at this time I had decided that the next time food was served I would decline it for both Maxim and I. I knew we had already eaten more than we accustomed to and didn't really need it and Maxim was also defiantly disobeying me in things I knew he understood. When he realized I really meant it and he was going to miss something because of his misbehavior, he blew. He was one tired angry boy. Discipline is sure a hard call when neither party is able to fully express themselves to the other, yet I felt I had to try. After we walked around the plane for quite some time with Maxim still furiously crying and trying to pull away, I stood for awhile by the back galley, attempting to rock him to sleep (he had only slept one hour all day). One of the flight attendants asked why he was so upset and I shared not only the reason for the conflict but also the fact that Maxim is newly adopted. She was very compassionate and encouraging which was very humbling because my impression of her earlier in the flight had been anything other than those qualities. I was blessed to see I had misread her. She was very helpful and Maxim and I returned to our seats with a little more peace.

In Chicago, the man who had been sitting with us stayed with us all the way to baggage claim and customs. Having lived in Chicago for eight years since immigrating, working the first four there in the airport, he knew just where to direct us. Another blessing.

Interestingly, in customs I met a couple who had also just returned from adopting in Ukraine. They were from Indiana and had a beautiful little girl with them, about eight or nine years old. In comparing notes, the subject of length-of-stay came up. They asked about the delays in our journey and I shared about discovering Maxim had a brother after everyone we knew thought he had no siblings. In this couples case, they also thought their child had no siblings and it turned out she had five. Definitely some things to be worked out in that area of the adoption issue. If the State Department of Adoption does not have accurate information about these children to share with those who inquire, there is a lot of confusion, if not heartache, ahead. By the time a couple is in Ukraine, they have already made a tremendous heart and financial commitment, not to be toyed with.

Once we were off the plane in Chicago, Maxim was very much himself again. We ate a little dinner and sat by a window watching the airport personnel working outside. What a blessing that the weather was not as fore casted and we had beautiful conditions for flying all day. When the time came to board our last flight home, just a thirty minute jump over to Grand Rapids, Michigan, Maxim was actually excited to get on a plane again. We went to our seat and sat for about ten minutes as others came on board. I began to chat with the woman seated next to me and when I heard the pilots announcement that we were about to take off and turned to buckle Maxim in, I found him nodding his head back and forth with his eyelids fluttering and then shutting completely. He was completely out for the flight. Sooooo tired.

Then of course, the very best part. We came down the ramp toward baggage claim and Daniel stepped around the corner, camera ready. I get a lump in my throat just typing it now. Just behind him were Maxim's new siblings, all wearing lime green shirts. We had discussed before the trip that they would do this and Maxim would wear his shirt of the same color that we brought him. It was meant to be a small way of showing him who he's connected to. As it turned out, he was still very sleepy and it was all lost on him but that's okay.

I can't begin to put into words how good it was to see Daniel and the kids. Especially the kids (no offense to Daniel). At that point, Daniel and I had been apart just over two weeks but it had been ten since I saw the kids. I was really feeling strongly the need to reconnect and have some assurance that nothing precious got lost from our relationship during this time. It was sooooooo good to see them and hold them; I confess I cried like I thought I would, but not the sobbing mess I thought I would be.

On the drive home, Maxim chatted away to the kids and kept looking up to the front seat and re-greeting Daniel, "Hello, Papa. Hello, Papa. Hello, Papa." At the house, Brina carried him in and we all explored with Maxim. Joel sat at the piano and played for him. They towed him around the hallway in a laundry basket and just savored finally meeting him. By eleven, though, we knew we needed to rest. Joel went to the top bunk, Maxim to the bottom with all the stuffed animals the kids gave him and the rest of us headed to our rooms. None of us woke up until the next morning around seven. Maxim and I both slept great and have since then as well. Truly have not felt jet lag at all; thank you Heavenly Father.

On this past Sabbath, I was surprised how emotional I felt walking into church, and throughout the service. Just the power of being back together with brothers and sisters in faith who have prayed and encouraged and helped us in so many ways. The joy of being back in this place that has been an integral part of our lives for many years and Maxim will hear many things of God that start him in his own relationship. It's also the place where I remember contemplating one Sabbath how to pray for Maxim. I knew of him, Daniel knew of him, yet we hadn't committed to adopt him yet. I remember when I knew it was the time for congregational prayer and thinking I would ask people to pray for Maxim, without sharing what we were considering. A part of me was still thinking, maybe this little boy isn't on our minds for us to adopt but just to get us, and others, thinking about the plight of orphans and how we can help in some way. Maybe Maxim is for someone else's household. But then I had a tangible feeling of being held back from making the prayer request out loud and a phrase came into my head; basically "You don't need to request prayer for this little boy. You're the answer." Anyway, coming into the sanctuary on Sabbath just felt like coming full circle.

Since being home, Maxim has been amazingly at ease, it appears. Sleeping well. Eating well. Thoroughly enjoying each of his siblings in different ways (it's definitely mutual. All the kids already ask when we might adopt again or if we can at least start looking at profiles from the agency again). Maxim loves to help with folding laundry, vacuuming (as long as he can direct the hose and not be too close to the actual motor, putting Windex on a cloth and washing the front of the dishwasher and stove, etc. Baths are a fun time and today he even met our dog Sydney, who has been away at my in-laws farm since the beginning of our trip in November. Maxim is half intrigued by and half frightened of Sydney. She is about the same size as him and has quite a lot of energy so I can understand his trepidation. However, by this evening he was enjoying watching from a distance as Sydney drank her water and later he reached out and petted her for the first time.

This week will prove interesting as Daniel has to be out of town on business (please pray for him as his colitis is flaring up again for the first time in a couple of years and medications don't seem to be making a difference at the moment) and Maxim has his first appointment with our pediatrician on Thursday the 22nd. She has been such a blessing of wisdom and encouragement over the years with Cyan's special needs so I trust that we'll receive a good foundation of counsel regarding Maxim's needs as well.