Gotcha Come and Gone

We celebrated Maxim's gotcha day quietly on December 23. It was the one year anniversary of the day we received in our hands the Ukrainian judge's decree, finalizing our adoption of Maxim Matthew Campau. I can't believe it's already been a year in some ways; on the other hand, so much has happened since bringing him home, how could it possibly have only been a year?!

We kept the acknowledgement of the day low key since all of the rest of us have actual December or January birthdays and we didn't want to confuse Maxim at this point. Birthdays were not acknowledged regularly at the orphanage he spent so much time in, so the whole concept is still something of a mystery to him. I think it's beginning to make sense though, and next July when he turns eight, I'm sure he will "get" why we're making such a big deal out of him.

A lot of interesting things have played together in the last few day in surprising ways, giving us a glimpse of how Maxim is feeling after a year in his very own family.

On Maxim's gotcha day, we watched a slide show of all the photos Daniel and I took while we were in Ukraine. Then we switched over to the videos we made, and that is what really grabbed his attention. He has wanted to sit and watch them all again several times in the last few days. We asked him if he remembered certain teachers and such, but it seems to be more a feeling than actual people and places that mean the most to him. Obviously, when Daniel and I were there to begin the adoption process and get to know Maxim, the attention we could give him was undivided; fun and loving and focused on him. I think watching these videos has reminded Maxim that it can't be that way within our home now. Love and attention, yes, but probably never again as focused and undivided just for him as we could then, until his older siblings leave the nest. Seeing this, I realize it was a blessing to have to stay in Ukraine as long as we did before bringing him home. As much as I disliked much of the confusion and corruption around us in the country, and those things make it hard to wholeheartedly recommend Ukrainian adoption to anyone, Maxim personally needed the time it took to bring him home.

Just a few days before his gotcha day, we had selected several dvds at the library, one of which was from the National Geographic series, In The Womb. This particular episode dealt with pregnancies with multiples. The computer generation and 4D imaging is incredible and we were all really intrigued watching it. Amazed again at God's perfect hand. I checked it out just thinking it would be interesting but Maxim was really amazed. He asked many times about who had been inside me and did the doctor help them come out? He asked about being in me, and I explained as I have before that he had a mama before me, far away in Ukraine, and he grew inside her.

In addition, a few days ago, we borrowed a baby doll for a completely unrelated purpose, and Maxim has wanted to pick it up and care for it regularly since then; it liked taking it in the tub and washing it. He kept it with him while he ate more than once and assured me he only let the baby have chicken,turkey and gum. I have seen him sit and rock the doll.

All of these things together let me see him processing what it's like to be a baby cared for by others; what it must have been like for him. It drills it into my head once again that we can't get that time back for him, but we have to love him like crazy now. Not spoiling in any way, but doing our best to make sure he knows he is absolutely loved. He will always have questions about what happened before he became a Campau, but may he never doubt love and security where he is now.

His physical therapy is going very well. He really likes Jenny, who works with him twice a week, and tries hard to do everything she asks of him. They are working not only on getting up on his feet with the aid of his little blue crutches, but also on building up core strength so he can increase his balance and endurance.

Looking at all of the pictures/videos from last year was bitter sweet to us for one particular reason: it was really shocking to realize how much mass Maxim really lost due to all of the castings and surgeries he has gone through. His legs at this point are about half the diameter they were when we brought him home. The process that is leading to him being able to walk soon really took him to the brink of what he could afford to lose. It makes me sad to see what he's lost in healthy roundness, but I know Who the Restorer is; the Giver of every good thing; the Redeemer. I know there are good days in the hands of the Author and Finisher. He knows what He's doing.

Along with Maxim's progress, our other children are reaching major milestones. Cyan just turned eighteen, so we are officially the parents of an adult now. God is continuing to give her vision for life ahead, even if she doesn't see the fulfillment of healing from CP yet. She is setting goals and pressing on.

Brina turned sixteen on the 25th and just got her braces off a month ago. Her ears are newly pierced, which she has waited a long time for, per Papa's wishes. Driver's ed is sounding very appealing to her, and just looking for what God has for her in the days ahead.

Joel is fourteen now, as of December 7, and has changed so much this year. No more buzz cuts, thank you very much. He is at that stage where wrestling and building treehouses and such still hold great appeal, but he's searching for greater challenge too.

I love that all the kids still love hugs and time together. May this never change, even though they must spread their wings a little more every day. One doesn't have to negate the other.