Done Deal

Well, the orange cast is a thing of the past. Sort of. It is currently standing up in an opaque white trash bag at the back door, waiting until the trash man comes tomorrow. There's no more room in the dumpster at the moment and Joel confirmed my opinion that it's just too weird an item to lean against the dumpster at the end of our driveway. I've seen lots of things people put outside on trash day but seeing a used body cast would be a little unsettling for drivers passing on their way to work.

Things did not go as I thought they would today but it was not necessarily discouraging. As soon as our regular nurse came in to start removing the Spica cast, she announced that Maxim was getting a break from casts altogether for now. That's what I had expected. I let her know about our August travel plans, thinking she and the doctor would immediately decide to put Maxim in the typical little leg/foot casts until our departure date. However, the teams consensus is not only that they won't cast Maxim between now and our trip, but that they will not cast him at all until after we have returned from Washington State. They are still of the opinion that since they are planning to remove the talus from each foot and fuse what remains however they feel best, casting is not as crucial in the meantime as it would be if they had some ideal current position they were trying to maintain until surgery. Although this is exactly the mindset I did not want to settle for, I am at peace for one reason. God does not need continual casting to move Maxim's feet into position. He can do whatever He sees fit regardless of the doctors' decisions. I have no ill feelings toward the doctors. They are not giving up in some pessimistic defeatist way. They really feel that the most that can be accomplished has been done. I see it as an opportunity to continue praying and watch God do things in such a way that no one can deny His hand is at work. This whole thing is a done deal when He says so.

It was wonderful to get home and let Maxim enjoy a nice warm bath with no casts. He requested bubbles and really loved being in the water again. He is absolutely skin and bones so that was quite alarming to see when the cast first came off; I nearly cried right there in the doctor's office. But Maxim is such a trooper as usual; he was stretching and wiggling when tickled, scooting as best he could on the floor to reach markers, trying to roll over, etc. There are certain positions that are obviously uncomfortable/painful but he is already trying to adapt how he moves so he won;t be too slowed down. He has a foam wedge that is placed between his legs, then wrapped with a wide velcro strap so that the spread position of his legs can still be maintained somewhat. They worked hard during the surgery to give him more flexibility for opening his legs and they don't him to lose that. He is not too thrilled with having to keep that on at all times except during toilet use and baths. He actually ditched it once this evening and started crawling away which was bitter sweet. I know he really needs the cushion for positioning right now and I have to enforce that, but it was really neat to see him crawl in a normal position for maybe the first time in his life and it said a lot that he would even want to get up on all fours and try so soon after getting the cast off. After all, he has been in leg casts constantly since February 18 & the whole Spica cast since May 15, so his lower extremities are very weak and stiff. But Maxim has such a will to move forward, in more ways than one. I'm sure that persistence will be a wonderful blessing in many ways as he faces more surgeries and therapy ahead. Maxim is also able to comfortably sit in a regular booster seat at the dining table again, which is really nice too. I think he liked sitting up like everyone else instead of reclining in the wheelchair and trying to balance his bowl on the ridge of his cast.
We have a little piece of normal back in that respect.

Cast Off

This is it. The Spica cast comes off today. Good-bye beat up, scuffed up, grass-stained, smudgy orange cast. Yippee! The last few days, Maxim has really liked being scrubbed as much as I could reach with cool washcloths and then rubbed with anti-itch lotion. I am concerned for Maxim right now because during this time in the Spica cast he has obviously lost weight, especially in muscle mass. He has gotten quite good at pulling himself around the house and yard with just his arms but still they are stick thin. The only bulges of any kind are at the joints. Another concern is that before the hip surgery, Maxim's doctor and her team had already concluded that the weekly casting of his feet up to that point had accomplished all the re-positioning they felt they would be able to and they had no intention of attempting any further manipulation. In other words, they think they have gotten his feet as far as they are going to be able to. I should clarify for those who do not understand that when a child has club feet, you don't just surgically set everything back in place. You go through a series of castings in which the feet are continually moved into slightly more correct position. When doctors conclude they have gotten as far as they can, surgery is done to set the feet in that position. In Maxims case, they have not accomplished the ideal position at all but far enough that if they remove a bone called the talus (sp?) on both feet and then do some fusing, they can at least get him into a position where he will be able to walk someday, although lacking much flexibility in his ankles. The foot surgery is currently scheduled for Friday, September 11. The last comment from our doctor was that we could have a break from all casts during the part of the summer we will be traveling, but outside of that they will keep Maxim's feet and lower legs casted right up until that surgery. No further manipulations. Just casting to maintain the position they're already reached. Today, when I take Maxim in to have the Spica cast removed, I will be petitioning the doctor and her team to continue manipulating his feet as far as they can right up until surgery. We will travel for three weeks in August (to see my family in Washington State - wooooohoooo!) during which Maxim will be without casts, but I would really like them to do everything they can during the rest of the period before September 11 to gain the optimum position. My thought is what does it hurt to keep trying when we have all this time left before the surgery. If we don't have them keep manipulating Maxim's feet little by little every week, just like they have been since February 18 (with the exception of time in the Spica cast of course), I will always wonder if we could have accomplished more. Anyway, please pray for us when you read this. That the x-rays will look encouraging today, showing Maxim's hip is still holding good position (pray boldly if you believe that his hip could be in even better than expected position); that I will have wisdom in speaking to the doctor and she will be receptive and cooperative with whatever is God's will for Maxim; and that Maxim will start gaining weight; that things will go well as Maxim starts some physical therapy. Thanks for stopping by. Have a terrific last day of June.

The "Less Than A Week To Go 'til Casts Come Off" Gallery

First Fathers Day

Yesterday at church, Maxim's class made Fathers Day gifts, of course. Their teacher, Diane, was so generous and thoughtful, providing them with mugs to decorate with stickers that she thought would fit each daddy's interests. For the mug Maxim would make for Daniel, Diane gave him an airplane, a bicycle, a car loaded with luggage, and "are we there yet" dialogue bubble, and so on, because one way or the other Daniel does travel quite often.

After the mugs were finished, each child was given a little packet of peanuts, a chocolate biscotti and a packet of coffee or hot chocolate mix to place inside. Maxim carefully eyed those items and I could see he was formulating a plan.

I had explained that this was a gift to surprise Papa with for Fathers Day, a time when Papas receive presents.

Sure enough, by last night, Maxim was expressing that he would give the present to Daniel, Daniel would open it, say "yummy" and then Maxim would smile and say "please". What a plan!

Anyway, when he woke up this morning, he got the vision in his mind that since we were talking about all of these gifts being only for papas on Fathers Day and Maxim would not be receiving until his birthday next month, Maxim would not be sharing any of Daniel's gift today. He immediately got very grumpy and did not want to give the gift. Fortunately, Daniel was outside making some repairs after our great rain and flooding on Friday night, so he didn't witness the bad attitude for the most part.

Maxim informed us, emphatically, that "Father's Day broken!!!"

Later he was able to watch as Joel presented a gift to Daniel. It was a bar of Ghiradelli dark chocolate, which Daniel promptly opened and shared. He slid a piece toward Maxim, and our little guy put his head in his hands, surprised yet unconvinced that the chocolate was really being shared with him. Finally, he came over and took it and enjoyed it. Now he was ready to present his gift to Daniel, who also shared that with him right away. I asked him if Fathers Day was broken now, and he smiled really big, kind of sheepishly, and said "no".

I saw a spiritual lesson. God really wants us to take the time to present our best to Him. He wants everything we can offer, with a glad heart. This requires trust that if we give Him absolutely everything, He will provide everything we need (and could possibly want). It's just so easy to get a certain vision in our minds of what we want right now, and we foolishly focus on that instead of the very best which can only come from the Father as we completely yield.

Fathers Day will make much more sense to Maxim next year. Hopefully the give and take between my Heavenly Father and I will make more sense too. We all have a lot to learn.

Happy Fathers Day to all the papas. In particular, I want to extend a special encouragement and thanks to my husband Daniel and all the other adoptive daddies out there. It took a certain courage to go down the adoption road. It changes and enriches our family legacies in such a wonderful way. May God continue to bless the journey for each household.

Dear Maxim - Again

Dear Maxim,

Just thought I'd drop you a note since it's been awhile since I wrote directly to you.

You will soon be seven years old. Your older siblings have been trying to prepare you and explain what a birthday is in the first place. You are excited that soon Brina will make you a delicious cake (you already know what a terrific dessert baker she is) and she has promised it will have rainbow frosting.

In less than two weeks, you will be free of any cast for the first time since February 18. Wow! Won't that be exciting! I know you are really looking forward to going in the lake with your yellow swim ring. That will be quite an adventure for you, having never been swimming before in the first place. What an initiation - straight into Lake Michigan.

The garden is growing and you have continued to look for the corn and other goodies to be ready. Be patient, buddy. All those fresh things will be worth the wait.
I love that, with few exceptions, you figure all vegetables are simply called salad.

We have been sooo excited to here your English skills grow although I also feel it's bitter sweet to know that we might not hear certain words and Russian phrases anymore. Some of your well-used phrases are "Okay, sorry", "I no know", "I like it", and so on. You are really coming along, and we are continually amazed that your reactions to us prove you understand more than you can express verbally.

You like to do things for yourself, and sometimes you don't understand that someone coming along side you in your activity means they like to be with you rather than that they don't think you're capable. But that is changing somewhat.

I love stepping away from my Mom busyness, stretching out on the living room floor and doing puzzles for awhile with our heads cheek to cheek.

I love that if I say ouch or express that my back hurts as I carry you (which actually happens less than I would have thought), you say "Oh, sorry Mama" and reach around my shoulder to give me a feather light "back rub".

I love that when you make things, you often think right away of someone you can present your project to as a gift.

I love that, while you have always been pretty free with quick hugs and kisses, you are much more comfortable with just sitting and snuggling/rocking for a length of time. It tells me you are learning to trust that someone else really can be a comfort to you.

I love that you have such a positive attitude about your future. You obviously trust us completely that many things will be possible for you later and right now you just have to wait. Your patience is really inspiring. Keep dreaming of walking and of driving a yellow car someday. Keep dreaming of taking a running leap onto our rope swing. Keep dreaming of riding your own bicycle down the street.

Like all of us, you are imperfect, Maxim. That's okay. Keep listening, learning, striving and giving. You are a delight.

Love ya, buddy.

Mama

Maxim's First Five Months At Home

He Believes

These are things even a little boy in a body cast can still believe:

1. God made Him, God loves Him and God is helping him.

2. Surely there is still a way for him to help mow the lawn (I had to assure him there will be someday, but I cannot mow the lawn and carry him at the same time in his present state, no matter how much he would love to be a part of mowing)

3. If everyone else in the household has at least one bicycle, there must be one here for him too. (I told him he will have one someday and he immediately requested yellow)

4. He is confident he is already capable of driving a car and that when he is out of his casts he will own one (yellow again), since Joel has explained the purpose of various parts in Daniel's vehicle.

One Neat Little Boy

Lest you think Maxim has no bad moments in the middle of adjusting to family and recovering from his surgery, I must say there have been ups and downs. I'm not sure how much is related specifically to adoption, or if any of it is. The last 5 1/2 months have simply inevitably included Maxim testing his limits at times and finding out where the boundaries are. DOWNS: shoveling food fast and furious into his mouth at meals. this habit has virtually disappeared. in fact, many times he would not come to the table if we didn't pick him up and set him there. he is curiously exploring other things and doesn't want to stop. refusing to speak when he is mad about something. it is tempting to stay there and try to coax words out of him but I have realized this is counter-productive and it's better to set him in a safe place and walk away. pretty soon, I hear him muttering to himself, then playing again, and the day goes on. being loud and responding in disrespectful ways. Maxim is getting better at simply saying "no thank you" when he does not want something that is being offered to him or wants someone to stop a particular thing they're doing with him. Being loudly bossy is also not accepted and I get right in his face and quietly but firmly insist he say please, mind his own business, or whatever is needed. on rare occasions, Maxim loses his temper completely when a certain practice or standard is insisted on with him and he has to be disciplined. when this has happened, I get in his face so he pretty much has to look me in the eye (this is a must; kids need eye contact when they're being corrected), tell him that what he is doing is not acceptable and when he stops throwing the fit, I will be glad to listen to him. then I leave him on his own in a safe spot and walk away. I do not feel any obligation to sit around while someone persists in a fit, adult or child, trying to somehow negotiate with them while they "spew". Life is too short. Anyway, Maxim is finding out that we love him bunches but he is not the center of the world. UPS: Maxim loves to copy what he hears. Yes, this is a positive as long as we are careful what we say, which we should be anyway. He echoes everything and is continually using longer strings of English words. So far, very few have been completely grammatically correct phrases, but he gets his gist across. For example, he says "Mama, doing?", meaning "Mama, what are you doing?" He loves to help. Yesterday the kids and I were at Walmart grocery shopping and Maxim was in his wheelchair. The wheelchair is nothing new to him since he had one in Ukraine and was very independent with it. Anyway, inspite of his somewhat reclined position in the body cast, he can still propel himself, and at the store he went back and forth in the produce section, taking the things I had selected and putting them in the cart Cyan was pushing for me. He enjoys praying and looking at the Bible. He is full of questions about what God made. He loves to make things and while he does often want things hung on the fridge for display, he regularly gives things away to others as well. Tonight is a piano recital for Cyan, Brina and Joel, as well as several other students. Another marker at the end of the school year. Summer is coming. It will be nice to hear what everyone has worked on and celebrate together. Daniel is off to Kentucky on business for the next few days. I love it when he's home but I'm not taking lightly that he has a job and I have no room to complain. We are just blessed that he is employed at all. Our area of Michigan has a 13% unemployment rate. Our little raised beds garden is showing signs of life. Lots of lettuce and spinach up, little tomatoes forming, healthy potato plants, etc. Cut worms have picked off some of my new bean plants but I got some great input off the internet for putting a stop to that. As soon as bean shoots appear above the ground, shimmy an empty toilet paper tube into the ground a couple of inches as a shield around the plant. Hopefully, this will do the trick. I love this time of year when so much is in bloom, everything is so fragrant and fresh outside, and there are great harvests to look forward to in the coming months.