Stuff In General and Stuffy

First, the stuff. We thought we would see Igor last night, after his journey up to Kiev for us and a short time with his family. No sign yet. We do know his mother, who lives here in Kherson, is having a birthday today, and he planned to be back with her for that. He's probably back at the flat as we speak. We'll post his news when we get it. May he have good news from the SDA.

You know how sometimes we learn more about our children when we are furthest away from them? That's when we see things we may not notice when we're all together in a regular routine? Well, please pray that our kids back home will be living at their fullest potential while we wait to be together again. There have been some bumps along the way and our desire is that everyone will have good memories and good relationships with each other when this whole adoption process is complete.

Why the word stuffy? That's what Maxim is today. He has a cold and cough. He was definitely more quiet than usual today and not quite as energetic. The caretakers were quick to tell us he should not spend any time on the floor playing today.

Our visit was just over an hour, as only shorter times are allowed at this point on weekends. Okay, today, since he does have the cold and it's chilly and wet outside so we couldn't go out.

Day Of Rest

Kherson Skyline from the Dnipr River at evening on Thanksgiving.

Just enjoying some quiet time in, for the most part, today. We didn't feel so well last night, so we went to bed at 7:30 and slept for twelve hours. Still dragging a little today, so it's good we did not plan a visit with Maxim. It was a nice relaxed morning of some breakfast together and just enjoying some music (Paul Wilbur on Daniel's laptop) and Bible study together. We decided to go ahead and walk to the Internet cafe, although we have no more news until Igor returns tonight from Kiev. Hopefully, he will have a positive report.

We are really looking forward to the day we can bring Maxim back to the flat with us, although we know it will be interesting and challenging in many ways. On Thanksgiving, we went to visit him for a shorter time than usual. Normally, we stay right up until his lunchtime at 1pm, but we had to leave earlier that day to go and join others for the holiday. Maxim was so sad. He cried which made us sad. We are tired of saying goodbye. The day we get to take him with us, I will be a puddle of joyful tears (Daniel might be too).

Right now, Maxim knows we are Papa and Mama but that just means happy people who come to see him everyday, and leave at lunch. We try to teach him a little English and beginning numbers each day (he would rather eat and play, but generally is very good at these things, sitting in Papa's lap). If something comes up occasionally where he needs to be corrected, he is usually pretty quick to respond, but still he is a long way from seeing the whole picture of a parent/child relationship.

Please pray with us as we make the transition (very soon hopefully) to being with him 24/7. Although we can't wait to be home with him and together with all of our children, this will be a good time to get used to each other full time before we leave Ukraine. That is probably a blessing, actually.

Almost A Month

The greenhouse at the orphanage.

No news in particular for the week. We are getting used to the bus system, and aside from some longer waits than expected at times, we haven't had any problems. The stops are a quick walk from the flat and the orphanage, so very convenient to get back and forth this way. As far as grabbing a bus to just take off around the city, we haven't tackled that, and don't really need to. The Internet cafe, grocery market, museums and anything else we're really needed/wanted is close enough to walk. It's nice to get the fresh air and exercise anyway.

This morning, we took Maxim into the greenhouse on the orphanage premises. We have noticed it many times but never stepped inside. It's not very large, but there were some really neat plants inside. Cactus, lilies, a lemon tree, and several other things that were beautiful but we would need my sister-in-law, Shannon the trusty master gardener, to identify (Shannon, Daniel took several pictures for you). Maxim liked this and wanted to go back inside when we were finished.

The other day, Daniel pulled a coin out and did a little slight of hand with Maxim, making it appear that the coin had somehow gone from Daniel's hand to behind Maxim's ear. He really liked that. As soon as Daniel was done, Maxim used the coin to "repeat" the trick back to Daniel. He didn't miss a beat. Just went right into it and had obviously watched closely. Of course, we could see the coin while Maxim was doing it, but it was fun to see him try. He really has a sweet personality and very quick sense of humor.

We have also noticed that he enjoys music. He hums a lot when we're just doing something simple like coloring together on the floor. Sometimes, he gets up on all fours the best he can, raises his little bum in the air as far as he can, and just happily wiggles and hums. Love it.

A couple of days ago, a man that Daniel and I sometimes call the mad scientist (wears a white lab coat and has a wild frenzy of white hair) came to Maxim's group. He played his accordion and the boys sang with him for quite awhile. I think just some traditional folk songs. They sounded really good, singing very loud and happily. They were asking for more. When the boys have things to focus on, they're happy and well behaved. Things get more complicated when they are bored. Makes sense, right? Anyway, we enjoyed hearing them sing and I hope the man comes to their group again sometime while we're here.

We enjoyed a very nice Thanksgiving with several other Americans. Thank you to James and Julia Thornton for welcoming us into your home, and to everyone else for including us so warmly. It was a really pleasant time together. A piece of the U.S. for just a little while.

Blessings to you all.

Anniversary

The Happy Couple

Wow! It's our 19th wedding anniversary! Where did the time go? Didn't we just walk down the aisle in Seattle yesterday?

And who would have thought we'd be spending this anniversary adding a wonderful little boy to our family? Who knows what life will bring from our Sovereign God?

We visited Maxim again today and will again tomorrow, although probably not as long since we're joining others for Thanksgiving at 1:30.

We feel truly thankful to God for His blessing over this last year in so many ways, in our lives and those of family and friends. May you all have a wonderful time tomorrow with your households.

To our family, we miss you but will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope you have a really nice day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Progress!

Our last stop of the evening; the Tsurupinsk Courthouse

Well, as I write, Igor is in Kiev with our local papers. Praise to God in the Highest! What a day yesterday. Our morning started with going to see the local administration building first, thinking papers would be ready at a.m. We were told to come back later. So we headed to the orphanage to see the director, hoping she would be ready to put her necessary signature on some papers. After much conversation with Igor, she reached for a pen and signed. After that, we went to visit with Maxim. Igor left us with the understanding that he would be back to pick us up for a 1 p.m. appointment back at the administration building. At 2, he had not come. At 3 he had not come. Around 3:10, he arrived, and said okay, let's go. He whisked us to the courthouse and we signed papers there, then off to the administration building again. The people there told us to come back tomorrow, as the papers there were not yet prepared. Igor boldly but civilly insisted that since we had been told we could come back and get the papers that day and he had already purchased a train ticket to Kiev, we were not leaving until the job was done. Forty-five minutes later we met the top woman there. She had concerns about the issue with Maxim having a half-brother, but after discussing the situation with Igor and us, and how the boys' mother made the split years ago, she signed the paper.
Next, a mad dash back to the court to drop off a paper. Then Igor rushed to a copy place (they just happened to be working late that day, as this was after five). It took him at least an hour there to make three copies of our entire dossier and the local paperwork. During this time, Daniel and I were waiting in the car, hoping the people at the courthouse would really stay there for Igor as he was expecting. He assured us they would but we couldn't quite believe it. Around 6:30, Igor had the copies in hand, rushed around the corner to the courthouse, and they were there ready to receive everything. Igor says that if you're told you're the last client of the day, it really means the people will wait while you run back and forth and get the job done.
When Igor came back out of the courthouse, he had a judge's assistant with him, who he had offered a ride to, since she'd stayed late for us.
Last of all, Igor drove very fast back to the flat, so he could quickly pack and make the 8:00 p.m. train to Kiev.
So now that you've read this hair-raising update, you can all breathe a sigh of relief. We certainly did.

Right now, we expect the court date will be Monday, December 1 (preliminary introduction to the judge) and Tuesday, December 2 (actual hearing). Then we are into the 10-11 day waiting period with Maxim at the flat.

More loose ends to tie up in Kiev after that, but we feel like the hurdle is not quite so big now.

Today, Daniel and I took the bus to Tsurupinsk by ourselves (we're on our own while Igor is in Kiev), which went fine. We're still trying to figure out the payment system. Basically, if the driver has no assistant to take payments, there's a flat fee of 4 Rivna (about $.75) but if he has an assistant to walk through the bus taking money and giving change, we may ride for about 3.80 Rivna. These are one prices for a thirty minute ride. Not bad.

We may be joining some other Americans for Thanksgiving. Debbie, an email friend, put us in touch with someone here who knows of a gathering and we received an invitation. Hopefully, this will work out, but knowing our way around town without Igor and figuring out complicated transportation will be what determines our day. We'll see.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Hopefully, we'll post again tomorrow.

God Is Bigger Than........

Just a quick post today. Please be praying for timing in our process. We know we are not the only couple in Ukraine trying to complete an adoption and we are not more important than those other couples. Please just be praying that all will be handled with integrity, and in a timely manner. We are trusting that God is bigger than any bureaucracy and His timing is perfect (not like the ball park figures that we keep hearing from humans who are sincerely trying to help).
This week, if everything goes well tomorrow morning, Igor will take our papers to Kiev and be gone through this coming Saturday (he is also taking a couple of much needed days to see his own wife and children in Odessa; we're glad he can). We are given rough time estimates for every step along the way, and of course hoping for the shorter times. Currently, unless something miraculous happens, we will return to Michigan one week later than we'd already been expecting. We'll see. Daniel may have to leave before Maxim and I if this is the case and we are not comfortable with this. Generally, I have a travel bug and I like adventure, but this would be outside even my comfort zone and Daniel's too. Please pray.
We will post more tomorrow.

Mmmm Mmmm Good

No real news today, although having the letter in hand is great. Igor has a train ticket for Monday night, planning to head for Kiev with all the signed and notarized local papers. Please pray that all the signatures will truly be completed on Monday. Once he gets the papers to Kiev and State Department of Adoption okays them, we're ready for our date with the local judge.
The sooner we get this, the sooner we receive the final decree and can officially welcome Maxim into our family.

Last night, I tried my hand at some home made borscht. I have to admit I did buy a couple of packets at the store meant for making a type of Cup 'O' Borscht. I put these in a pot with 4 cups of water, a 3" diameter beet chopped up, half a yellow onion diced, 4 small chopped potatoes, a tablespoon of butter and a little poultry seasoning. It didn't look very impressive (very deep red) but we realllllllly enjoyed it.

Today for lunch, we had some fresh bread from the next door market and some spreadable cheese from the Netherlands. Nice and quick and so delicious. I had also discovered some little desserts. Chocolate covered layers of crisp and nuts in a 1" by 3" bar. Tasty. A good treat for Sabbath. This meal cost approximately $1.50 for the two of us. I haven't calculated the borscht but it would be inexpensive and very healthy. The food in the markets is generally around half the price of U.S. stores, unless you're looking for a specialty item or toiletries. Electronics are more expensive than in the States, as well as clothing and fuel.

Today it is raining, so quite dreary, but not very cold. I wore my "new" coat and had to take it off and trade it for my original later in the day as I was too hot.

Daniel and I took the bus by ourselves to the orphanage. It's important for us to be comfortable doing this as Igor prepares to leave for Kiev. It went fine although we waited for awhile to be confident that the bus we were choosing was correct. A trip to the orphanage and back costs 8 Rivna per person (about $1.70).

Basically, another good day, with high hopes for things to move forward in the coming week.

We've Got Mail..........

Today, the letter finally came. Great news. Now all the local paperwork can be completed and sent to Kiev. Hallelujah. But...............it's a national holiday, many offices closed at noon, and we'll have to wait until Monday to sign papers, get things notarized, etc.
Our facilitator/translator says that because of the delay over this past week, he will personally take the local papers by train to Kiev next week. This is actually what I'd been hoping. Originally, he had spoken of sending them by mail (by train) and that made me really nervous.

Everyone is doing a great job. There are just bumps along the way, unexpected by all of us. Our heart for this adoption and our thankfulness for this opportunity have not changed at all.

I would not be honest if I didn't say the process is wearing on us a little. It is hard to be away from our other children and family right now. Thanksgiving is coming up, of course, and we will miss Joel's birthday (turning 13 on December 7), possibly. There just isn't anything that can replace being together. Brina is turning 15 in December, and I'm itching to get home and help her learn to drive. Daniel started teaching her a little before we left for Ukraine. Cyan turns 17 soon and I would really enjoy a bit of time with her too.

Please continue to pray for an efficient speedy process. We know that many are praying and we appreciate that so much. Keep it up. We know that God hears and His timing is perfect.

By the way, Igor took us to an outdoor market this morning which sold everything from nice used clothing to cottage cheese. I have a warm jacket now.

Our Flat

Welcome to our Kitchen; no, I am Not a Giant


Our Mod Living Room; Lots of Lacquered Wood


This is the Way We Wash Our Hands (w/ Daddy at the Orphanage)

While we wait to post something really exciting one of these days,
I thought I'd share some detail about our living arrangements, the general area we live in, 
and some history.

Our flat is a Soviet era one-bedroom, one bathroom unit.  The building is five stories tall and quite long and we have not quite figured out the layout overall so I don't know how many units total.
It is a concrete structure, but all of the plumbing is visible in the flat (makes for easy repairs).

At one base corner of the building, their is a very small grocery store where we can get fresh bread every morning, and other basics.  

Out our kitchen window, we can see the Dnipr River (largest river in Ukraine) and off to the left, the Park of Glory, where there are several monuments related to various wars, including WWII and the Soviet/Afghanistan war.

The city is quite a mix of old and new.  We see Toyota and Subaru SUVs mingled among the little Lada sedans, and many elderly babushkas (grandmas) going about their traditional roles while very modernly dressed younger people stroll about.

I was reading more about the babushkas this morning while we waited for our ride to the orphanage.  Basically, they are all the elderly widows of Ukraine (and other former Soviet areas).
Their husbands were among 20,000,000 people lost in the Soviet areas during WWII.  The monthly pension these women are expected to survive on is 750 Rivna ($120 US).  Obviously, this is not possible, so they are out all the time, working in different ways to make a little more money.  We see them sweeping the gutters and streets with hand-made brooms, selling various items such as flowers and sunflower seeds, or just holding cups out in busy stairways, hoping for donations.  Very sad.  Here in Ukraine, it is expected that both parents will work outside the home, so children are raised primarily by their grandmothers.  Newly married couples almost always start out living with parents.  We are struck by the fact that there is obvious poverty and the nation as a whole, for many reasons, hasn't really gotten on its feet since gaining independence in 1991, yet  most younger individuals have a cell phone, expensive western items such as name brand clothes, etc.  Quite a contrast.

Okay, now for my most embarrassing moment (so far) in Ukraine.  Yesterday afternoon, while Daniel got started at the Internet cafe, I headed for an indoor/outdoor market nearby to find a new coat.  Overall, I've been pretty comfortable here, but the temperature is dropping.  Anyway, you have to know that prices can be a little confusing here for the novice.  In the morning we had gone to a pharmacy and asked for cold medicine.  The lady brought us two boxes, one of nose spray and one of some tablets, and then showed us the price on her calculator.  2'670  Daniel and I looked at each other wondering.   The exchange rate is 5.8 Rivna to the dollar.  Surely, she was not charging hundreds of dollars for these two little boxes.  So we guessed where the decimal ought to be, handed her a bill, and she gave us our change.  The actual price came out to about $6.
Fast forward to the market, now, as I attempt to buy a coat.  I saw one that was quite nice and asked to try it on.  After the lady found the right size, I indicated that I didn't know the price and needed her to write it down for me.  She put 2250 on her calculator.  Once again, I was trying to quickly sort this out.  One way was too good to be true; another was more than I'd ever pay for a coat even back home.  So I guessed.  I handed her 300 Rivna, thinking this was appropriate (the actual price was US $600).  She started laughing, and turned to another lady to explain what had happened.  That lady started laughing, and so on and so on.  I provided much humor for these vendors.  To make matters worse, I tried to say "I don't understand. I'm sorry" (like this wasn't already obvious) and instead, I said "I don't understand. Good morning."  Let's just say I left the market very quickly and I have no new coat.

There you have it.  Are you still on your chair?

Daniel was even embarrassed when I told him, and he wasn't with me.  I told him that if we pass a little Asian lady on the street and she bursts out laughing, he'll know who I dealt with.

It's good to laugh in the middle of all the adoption ups and downs.

No new news as far as paperwork.  May the standstill end today so we can say something productive happened by the weekend.  Otherwise, this is sort of our lost week in Ukraine.

Blessings to you all.

Waiting Waiting Waiting

Well, the wait continues. We are still waiting for that one envelope to come in the mail. Yesterday, for some strange reason, there was no mail delivery to the orphanage at all and today, when Igor went to the post office to find out if the mail was there, he still hit a dead end. From what I understand, we know the paper was posted in Maxim's birth town. There's some way Igor was able to confirm that, but it hasn't arrived here yet. Soooooooo, we wait.

Sometimes, when we finish our visits with Maxim at 1 p.m. (lunch time, followed by a nap/rest from 2-4), we have to stay at the orphanage until Igor can come pick us up. This has given us the opportunity to get to know several of the teenagers better each day.

They like to come see us out on the grounds and when they see us sitting in the lobby area. I pull out my "trusty" phrase book and they are so patient with us. Sometimes, they'll gather around another teen who knows a little English, ask how to say something, and then come back to us. They are really neat kids. Very friendly.

Getting to know them better makes me rethink in some ways what they really need. A family is a wonderful blessing and definitely God's ideal design. No doubt. Yet these kids who either have no contact or very little contact with their birth families are still blessed to be where they are in some ways. They don't live a life of physical abundance but they have three meals a day (although they sure are rushed in and out of the cafeteria), shelter, fellowship with each other and several caretakers who genuinely care about them, etc.

Today, we looked through our little photo album with some of the teens and they came upon an exterior shot of our house. Understand that our house is small by American standards, originally built as a three bedroom, one bath ranch. Nothing fancy. But they were visibly and audibly impressed when they saw that picture. They see we are abundantly blessed even though a typical American might not see it that way. Good to have these kids set our perspective in place.

One suggestion for those coming to Ukraine, do not depend on a phrase book to get you through. These can be helpful, but mostly for tourists. A good English/Russian (or English/Ukrainian depending on what region you're headed to) dictionary is a must.

With Maxim, we are spending a little time recognizing numbers, both written and spelled, as well as starting to look at the alphabet. I wrote these out this morning and he likes to repeat the numbers with us. We did better, too, just balancing how we use our time with him. Sometimes Daniel chose where to go outside. Instead of letting him eat every food item we brought today, we encouraged him to split the banana with us which he did.

Blessings to all of you as you head into Thanksgiving week soon. Enjoy.

First Fit

Today, another milestone (?).  Everyday, we enjoy being with Maxim and we like to know what his interests are, of course.  At first, with the language barrier, we were just content to see what he would like to do and go with the flow.  However, we realized today that we have to be more careful because he can take this as meaning he can direct everything we do.  That would not set a very good foundation for life at home.

When we went out to the playground this morning, Daniel found a new place to play; what looked like a big playpen with a gate on two different corners.  Maxim enjoyed "locking" one of us in.  We would pretend to try to escape and he would make a big deal out of either keeping us in or letting us out.  He also wanted to be lifted out of it by Daniel over and over.  Not a problem and fun for  awhile but at a certain point, this was wearing especially on Daniel's back.  So Daniel picked up Maxim and headed in a different direction.  Boy, was Maxim upset!  He has tremendous upper body strength for such a little guy and he flailed in Daniel's arms, tried to hit him and cried loudly.

Our limited Russian didn't equip us at all to communicate what was needed.  But Daniel held Maxim and walked with him, sat on a bench and held him firmly when he tried to hit or throw his hat and scarf on the ground, etc.  Then I took him and walked with him, just speaking to him in English everything he needed to hear, even if he doesn't understand yet.  As we walked, he was still upset, but stopped crying.  Would not look at Daniel for awhile, would rather do something for himself than have to ask "please", etc.  After about fifteen minutes of gradually quieting back down and watching Daniel and I continue to play in different ways, he joined us again, and his happy self returned.

A learning experience for all of us.  I don't know what to think of different psychology writings, but some say it's a good sign in a way when a child shows that much emotion because it indicates they are starting to feel safe with their new parents.  Maybe that's true.  After we got past this scene outside, we enjoyed the rest of the visit.

Another type of encounter which can be perplexing for those entering an orphanage, including us, is dealing with other children.  The more time we spend here, and the more Maxim calls us Papa and Mama, the more other children hear this and want to connect.  Sometimes, these are children who crave wrestling with Daniel (not a bad thing), but today it turned into a frenzy of violent hyperactivity with two of the boys in  particular.  One started throwing heavy wooden objects at Daniel, trying to demand his attention and not understanding any balance in how to do so appropriately.  They really wanted to be with Daniel but we couldn't stay in the middle of it so we had to send the boys back with their caretakers.  It's unfortunate, because it's really good for them to have contact with us when behavior is acceptable.  The language barrier makes it difficult too.  It's hard to reestablish authority when behavior starts to slide.

We were contemplating more today the fact that every child here needs a home.  Friends told us before we came that this would be one of the hardest things about the process.  To walk out the door with one child, knowing that all the others will wonder why we didn't take them.  One child already asked Igor why we didn't choose him, and asked Igor to find him a family too.

We have a bit of a delay right now with paperwork.  Last week, we got the fax reassuring us that Maxim alone is available for adoption and his brother is being cared for.  We are not expected to adopt both.  However, we have to wait for the official copy of that same paper to arrive here in Kherson by mail, before everything can be signed and sent to Kiev.  The paper was mailed last Thursday, so it should arrive at the orphange today.  We'll see.

Laundry Day

This is our Laundry Room; reminds me of a Barbie Townhouse

We are in the tedious portion of the adoption process, pretty much the same thing goes on every day. We visit Maxim in the morning, return to the flat for lunch, walk to the Internet cafe and/or market, walk back home, eat dinner, study Bible, chat with Igor and go to bed.

It is surprising that we do not have much free time. Today we did not visit Maxim. We decided to not visit him so we could do our laundry. (Wow what a job doing it all by hand. I am afraid it will not get dry by tonight). Our flat is now decorated with wet clothes on every radiator. We do have a neat retractable gadget that stretches five drying lines over the tub. Very handy.

Last night we watched a French movie on TV (first TV we've really spent any time with since we got here) that was dubbed in Russian (or Ukrainian). It was a comedy about two guys who both wanted to marry Julius Caesar's daughter and fought for her by both going to the Olympics. Very silly and easy to follow because of the plot. We only actually understood a few words. It was just good to relax and laugh together. American movies are usually dubbed in Ukrainian with one man speaking the part of every male character and one woman speaking for every female character. Very little emotion is apparent in the dubbing voices. Last night's movie was a national premier so they went all out and had a separate man dubbing each male character's voice; same for female parts.

Tomorrow, we'll go back to our usual routine of visits with Maxim.

Thanks to all of you who've been following the blog. We really like hearing from you and any news from friends and family.

Weekend Visit

We were blessed to have a visit with Maxim again today, even though it is Saturday. Generally, we're told, visits are not the norm on weekends.

This time we rode the local bus with Igor instead of riding in his car. Until now, he has been driving us back and forth each day from the flat he found for us to rent here in Kherson. He felt it would be good to get used to the bus for several reasons; mainly, on Monday the 17th, a new law takes effect here that everyone must wear seat belts. The police will be paying more than their usual attention to drivers. Igor says there is already a bit of corruption and he doesn't want to draw undue attention, even though we're not doing anything wrong. Also, it's good for us to get used to the bus so if Igor needs to be elsewhere on a particular day, we can still see Maxim.

This morning, we played with several boys so Daniel was especially wiped out when we left. One boy in particular has the energy of ten and really wanted to wrestle and just rough house a lot. Another boy, who is very friendly, came up to me with all his energy and clearly said Jackie Chan and then tried some of his "martial arts" moves on me. Another was simply delighted that I sat down with him and drew his picture. I can see where the ladies who work at the orphanage do not have the masculine, energetic touch that these boys crave. Everything was pretty quiet when we walked in but as soon as they saw us, they wanted to go straight to Daniel and play hard.

Some of the things we have enjoyed here are excellent quality yogurts and kefir, fresh bread from the market, cheeses, regular access to the Internet cafe (a fifteen minute walk from the flat), and unusually warm weather here right now (although the temperature has dipped a little the last couple of days). We have found food in the markets to be much less expensive than in the States while fuel is more expensive (about $4/gallon). The grocery carts are very small (think Little Tike's size, only taller), which makes sense as most people shop daily for what they need. The store we shop at has pretty much every thing we need, like a mom and pop store in the U.S.

Great News!!!

Good news this morning. Thank you to everyone who has been praying. Do not stop. The fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much. We are living it.
Last night, Daniel and I both slept very well, having put the situation in God's hands. Today, Igor said he had a terrible night, worrying.
As we walked into the orphanage this morning, Igor suggested that instead of going directly to see Maxim, we should at least say good morning to the director, Tatiana. He said he felt she still had something weighing on her heart about this adoption. When we stepped into her office area, she invited us in although she was very busy, and Igor boldly asked her to express whatever concern she still has. She admitted that part of it is that Maxim is loved by the staff and they will simply miss him. Also, it breaks her heart that the reforms in Ukraine for taking better care of their own orphans are taking so long. To have a better life, Maxim has to leave the country.

Yesterday, Igor faxed a letter to Maxim's birth town, asking for clarification of the situation with his brother. We needed to see official word on whether Maxim's brother is also waiting to be adopted. This morning, Tatiana had already received the response. Maxim's brother is in the good care of a woman near their birth town and is validly not registered as an orphan. We are free to adopt Maxim alone and the process can move forward. Hallelujah. As soon as Igor told us this, Daniel and I were both struggling not to cry in Tatiana's office. It is so amazing to see God's hand.

As early as Monday evening, the local papers will be completed and ready to be sent to Kiev by train.

Right now, in the evenings, Daniel and I are reading "The Heavenly Man", by Brother Yun, a house church network leader from China. His accounts are very difficult to read sometimes but the Christians in that country have paid a tremendous price for their faith. But his testimony also proves that in the worst situations and conditions, it is still possible to feel God's presence and peace. It also proves that no matter what politics and bureaucracy say, God is bigger. From reading this autobiography, I am encouraged that if this adoption is God's will (we believe it is), we will receive every signature and stamp we need to complete it.

Another milestone today; Maxim accepted many kisses from us, and as Daniel flipped him over his head and back, Maxim would kiss me when he came back my way. Daniel received some too.

We also got to sit in his classroom as he worked with his teacher and see some of the things he's been working on. He has many of the skills of a typical five or six year old. Still gets some number and alphabet order mixed up but we can see that he is a very observant, detail oriented boy when he's with us. He does not miss a beat. I believe his skills will grow just fine as we work with him.

We met the German teacher again today, out on the playground. When we saw him the other day, he said he knew we were Americans right away by our smiles. Ukrainians are not, in general, very smiley people.

Here are a few things of interest in Kherson: the traffic lights are set up so after a light turns green, it blinks a couple of times and then turns yellow, then red. After red, it again turns yellow before green. This way there is a warning before it's time to stop as well as before you can actually go. Yet, the traffic is a little crazy, with people passing in very tight spaces as someone coming the other direction is trying to do the same. We occasionally see people walking along with a goat or cow, right down the street. Typical dress for women at this time of year is a very warm coat along with short (sometimes extremely short) shirts, dark pantyhose and stiletto boots. I am just not going to fit in with my cords and white tennis shoes. Yikes. The men typically wear very dark clothes and do not have beards. Daniel has a very nice beard, so there you have it. That's okay.
A common site along our walks through town are groups of stray dogs and spit on the sidewalk.
The dogs are a tremendous problem because, Igor says, programs to collect strays were stopped as soon as Ukraine gained its independence from Russia. We saw a pack of ten or twelve go past our kitchen window this morning.
That's all for now. We still have to get to the market and back to our flat (typical soviet era apartment complex; double entry doors with the interior one padded) before dark.

P.S. The government controlled heat was turned on yesterday morning so we are staying warm.
Generally, from April through October there is no heat and as winter comes, they turn the heat back on in different areas according to how cold it has become.

Delays?

Picture of Orphanage entry walkway. The building is very large and currently has at least 180 children, from age 6 to 20.

Well, we are hearing a little more information each day about our case and how it is perceived by others. There are a few concerns that have come up.

First, we found that Maxim has an older brother and there is concern about not separating them. Our understanding is that there is a new law in Ukraine that orphan siblings must not be separated. The twist for us is that Maxim was given up at birth, he and his brother have never been together, and another Ukrainian household has taken in his brother. The brother is not even listed with the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption. We have court papers stating that not only was Maxim immediately given up at birth but his mother's parental rights were also stripped as far as his brother is concerned. She abandoned them both. So please be praying for direction. We know God is sovereign and if we are to bring Maxim home, nothing will stop that.

But we have to wait for extra court papers from the birth city stating that the brother is not up for adoption. If he is, we have a decision to make. Both or none. Right now, everything we have seen indicates the brother is not available to adopt.



Second concern is just with the director of the orphanage because she is not familiar with the idea that anyone would home school their children. We had to carefully explain this morning that we have books and materials just as children in a school would and that our children can still go to college someday if desired and we are not the only ones in our nation doing this.

The third thing that came up is that just a couple of days ago, an American woman went into the Kiev airport with a twelve year old Ukrainian girl, intending to leave the country with her. After they got through security and headed for a gate, the girl began to cry. Authorities asked if she wanted to go with the woman and she said no. It turns out, the girl was being kidnapped. So of course this draws national attention to the possibility that this can happen and Igor is having to reassure many people that we really love Maxim and do not intend any harm.

Please pray for discernment, a spirit of love and compassion rather than fear for everyone involved, and that everything will move forward as God wills, in a timely manner.

Today, we met two more of the teachers who work with the children; a woman who teaches the younger children and a man who is a German instructor to the older children. They were both very friendly to us and quick to switch to English so we could get to know them better. Olesya was the second person to express how loved Maxim is here and that she knows of one woman who has spoken of adopting him but will not pursue it because we are here. The German instructor asked if we could meet for a short time with his students because they would like to practice their English as well.

Maxim is using a lot of Daniel's energy especially because he is starting to really enjoy piggy back rides, flips, and anything that involves wrestling with his daddy. When it was time to stop today, Maxim went into the playroom "doctor" area, got a toy syringe and gave us both more shots. That is our reward for having to leave this morning. Maybe it was to give us more energy.
He shared his delicious homemade bread and honey with us too. Very good.


Maxim but will not pursue it because we are here.

Day 10

A Picture of Maxim Coloring in his new book in the orphanage playground.

A monument of Lenin with fresh flowers in the city of Tsurupinsk

While we were with Maxim this morning, Igor our translator/facilitator, met with the director of the orphanage, the local goverment representative and the psychologist who observed us with Maxim a couple of days ago. Igor is doing a great job of helping us and taking care of all the paperwork. After conferring with the psychologist about our bonding with Maxim at this point, the local rep seemed satisfied and they all met on our behalf with an attorney.

During these times when Igor is running with paperwork for us, we have the chance to know the workers at the orphanage and some of the other children a little better. The workers are always very kind to us. This morning, I asked one woman, Ludmilla, where I might purchase some knitting needles. She told me I could find them at any department store and then went upstairs with me and got some from another worker. To keep, she says, but I will bring them

back after I get to a store.

Today, we discovered that Maxim enjoys coloring and being thrown up in the air by Daniel. Quick squeezes are acceptable to him but not a full-out hug and although he obviously lights up when we arrive and comes right over to be picked up or held, he is not ready to give hugs. That's okay. Time will change all of that. He is a very sweet and generous little boy and I think as he learns to trust us, he'll open up.

Interestingly, at one point we were in the playroom and another boy who is quite rude and rambunctious (craving attention, no doubt) came in and "took over". He was very agitated himself and Maxim started to become harder to handle. After the boy left, though, Maxim settled right down. I had very mixed feelings because the other boy really needs as much love and attention as Maxim (all the children do) but we could not let his behavior go. There is another little boy (Victor) who is usually with Maxim when we arrive. They seem to spend a lot of time together and he is also very sweet. Today, Daniel spent some one on one time with him and you can sure tell he craved that attention from a man. He liked stroking Daniel's beard and then checking his own face.

This is not an easy place to be in many ways. Finances do not allow many things to be regularly repaired, for example, so conditions are not going to be what a typical American is accustomed to. Buildings often appear quite run down. Roads are generally very rough. You might compare it to certain areas of Mexico if you have been there. But the people are proud of their country and there are many monuments showing their pride in what their countrymen have accomplished. For those of you who are coming here for you own adoptions, just know you will be out of your comfort zone at times.

We don't know what is planned for tomorrow at this point, but Igor always fills us in each evening.

With Gas

Today we had the opportunity to talk to the doctor about Maxim's birth and background. We had been told that he has no siblings. This was the best information available to the agency. It turns out Maxim does have a brother (four years older) out there somewhere. Maxim was born in a town on the Crimean Peninsula and given up immediately because of his disabilities. In addition to the club feet, Maxim also deals with a condition which has caused problems in his hips and knees. Many surguries ahead, unless there is divine healing. The doctor commented that Maxim is a very loveable boy (we can already see this) and some of the employees at the orphanage have even considered adopting him (perhaps this is said to all parents). They are hopeful that we have access to the medical help needed and he will go far in life. They feel that because he has to work so hard to do day to day activities, he is building strong character.

We were so glad to see him again today and enjoy his humor and zip. He has a lot of energy.
When we challenge him from time to time with English words, he's very quick to repeat them.
Enunciation is not terrific but that will come. He's dealing right now with a whole new language and some dental issues that probably effect speech as well.

Yesterday, another milestone. Maxim kissed his papa and mama. Yippee! We also went to the local notary yesterday to sign papers confirming we are pleased with Maxim and definitely want to adopt him.

More paperwork tomorrow. The goal is to complete local paperwork as soon as possible, send it to Kiev to be acknowledged by the State Department of Adoption, receive it back here in Kherson and have our appointment with the judge.

Please pray that everything will be handled with integrity by each official, and that there will be no unnecessary delays. We are anxious to be home again with our whole family.

Sorry, no pictures today. We'll post more when we have WiFi set up. It will make dealing with USB so much easier.

Why today's title, you may ask? Well, let me tell you a little story. Daniel and I went grocery shopping Sunday night, just picking up a few things to get us by. We needed more bottled water and Daniel grabbed what looked like the biggest container for the best price. After we got back to the flat, I was going to make tea. I quickly opened the water bottle and got sprayed (so did the kitchen). We sheepishly admitted this to Igor and he showed us where to look on the label for "without gas". That's the whole story. The title has nothing to do with our personal condition, one way or the other.

Introducing Our Little Boy

Maxim climbing on the playground equipment.

Yesterday, we had our second visit with Maxim. A beautiful, sunny (although cold) day so we bundled up and headed for the orphanage playground. We can go anywhere with Maxim on the premises. As we walked past the different things, I would ask him (ZDEES?) "Here?", to see what he wanted to do. He wanted to go straight to the tallest climbing equipment with a big slide. As soon as his wheelchair was at the base, he hoisted himself out and headed up the steep steps. No small feat when your upper body is where your strength is.

We had a great time playing with him. He loved having one of us at the top of the slide with him and sending the truck we had given him down to the other person, followed by himself. We would catch him at the bottom and start over. He enjoyed just playing in the leaves, loading them in his little truck, and eating the yogurt and juice we brought for him (fresh produce is rare for the children here).

For now, we are not allowed to post facial shots on the internet. When we have the judge's decree, the adoption will be final and we'll post a picture head on so you can really get to know Maxim.

As we visited yesterday, a child psychologist accompanied us. It was her job not to influence our time with Maxim but to document how the attachment is going. While we were all together on the playground, we showed Maxim a little photo album of our family. He looked at Daniel's picture, said "Papa" and kissed it. Then he said Mama when he saw me and kissed my photo. So sweet.

The psychologist let us know at the end of our visit that she sees a good connection between us and Maxim. He feels safe and even tried to copy English words as we played.

We noticed quite a difference between Maxim's reaction to us the first day and then yesterday. When we arrived yesterday, he was in class and as soon as we walked in, he began to chatter about Papa and Mama, and looking back over his shoulder at us, smiling. He always tells us not to leave.

At one point, Maxim needed to eat his lunch, so we sat with him at the table. His meal was cooked cabbage, potatoes with just a little bit of meat, soup, a drink that smelled similar to coffee and black bread. He didn't eat all of it by any means. We thought it was a lot for a little child and it was definitely more than was served to another child nearby. Maybe for appearances?

Before he could eat, Maxim needed to go and wash his hands. Igor, our facilitator, who carefully reminds us about every little thing, said "Now, Jenna, don't forget that his sleeves must be rolled up when he washes his hands". I said, "Ya Mama", (I'm Mama), just meaning that I a mother and I won't forget such a thing. Igor thought I meant "I'm the Mama, back off." We ended up having a nice laugh about it though, after we both apologized, and Igor is not as pushy now.

After we left the orphanage yesterday, we realized that the truck we gave Maxim was back in my bag. He and I had been playing with everything in there (he loved the retractable tape measure) and he had put the truck in there. We feel bad because he will be looking for it and probably wondering if we are coming back, but no visits are allowed on Sundays. Actually, they made an exception for us to even visit Saturday.

We really do appreciate Igor's help. We could never accomplish this task without assistance. He took us on a tour this morning; a very old church (dedicated in 1806 to Catherine the Great) on the grounds of a castle, and through a park with many monuments. He is quite a history buff and could tell us a lot about the area, especially during WWII.

This area has a very different feel as far as safety. In Kiev, a huge city, we felt fairly comfortable walking together and looking for things, even after dark, as long as lots of other people were out too. Here in Kherson, Igor is always telling us to be back at the apartment before dark, to not speak very loud to each other when we're out walking, and even Igor shys away from police. While we toured the park today, we looked across and saw the police had stopped by Igor's car and were looking it over. In the states, we'd probably walk right over and ask what's going on. Today, Igor just wanted to sort of roam in the park a little longer until the police were gone. Interesting. Ukraine is still a police state with a great deal of corruption, so we do have to be careful, but it feels like no one trusts each other much.

What a Beautiful Boy

We have now met Maxim face to face. After a long, overall sleepless, night on the train, we were introduced to him this morning. Shy for maybe three minutes tops, he then warmed right up. He is tiny and fragile yet full of joy and energy. And all around us, more children waiting for homes.

Sorry no way to post pictures at the moment. Daniel has disappeared with the camera and the jump drive.

Debbie, we had the pleasure of meeting Ola for just a few minutes and presenting the package to her, and Igor sends his greetings.

Off To Kherson

This is the day we will head for the Kherson region (tonight at 8, our train leaves Kiev).
Yesterday, we were nervous, as our SDA appointment was scheduled for 2 pm, Helen our translator was to meet us at 1:30 and was nowhere to be seen, (she told us to ready on time). 1:30 came and went so we went outside figuring she may have forgotten the code to our gate. Finally she came at about 1:45 and was very calm, because, she said 2 pm doesn't really mean 2pm prompt. Anyway, we walked with her up many windy hills to a very non-descript old building and our appointment was finished in about fifteen minutes. Helen stayed with us during the meeting, unexpectedly. We had thought we would go in alone.

We learned that Maxim was born near the southern coast of the Crimean. We also received his sweet baby picture which will be a treasure.


Above you can see a shot from the underground mall near our apartment. As you go down the sidewalks, you encounter stairways that go under the street to allow safe crossing of busy intersections. But there is also the mall to pass through. Here you see the more open area with western looking mall stores but as you get closer to the stairways back to the street, you pass shops that are about three feet deep. You do not go in. You look at closed displays and then go to a window (small hole?) and tell the vendor what you would like. This could be jewelry, a whole list of groceries, knick-knacks of all sorts, etc.

Here we are in our tiny elevator in our apartment building. This photo doesn't really capture how very small it is. Probably about 3' by 2 1/2', with a mirror on one wall. As we rode in it, I was thinking I'm glad I don't weigh any more and Daniel was looking around thinking about if there was a fire, he would not have the right tools to get us out. Even if we could pry the door open, the floors are so tall, we'd probably just encounter a concrete wall. Encouraging, eh?

The cell phone and wi-fi have been a mystery to us. Helen helped us buy a domestic (Ukraine calls only) and an international calling card but we have not been successful with either one. We can't figure out how to use our world phone to call anyone in Ukraine. What numbers do we include and what to leave off? Whatever we have tried has not worked. Helen is mystified too. Maybe Igor will know better how to help us when we meet him tonight.

The SIM card we bought must have been printed wrong because the pin code to unlock it did not work. This morning we went to restaurant across the street from our apartment, via six blocks of circling :) , and found wi-fi access. This too was unsuccessful. It would not assign an IP address. Oh well, we got a great bowl of chicken soup, borscht, and espresso out of the deal. And there's always the internet access at the post office. So here we are.

We were trying to avoid the post office, because when we use the jump drive, we pick up viruses.

Daniel removed one this morning.

We are having fun, despite issues we run into. We are able to call home (at $2/minute+ or -) so it's not like we have no contact.

We are excited to be going to Kherson tonight. They say we'll arrive around 5:45 a.m. Friday and hopefully meet Maxim the same day.

Our Entry Way

This is the entry way to our apartment building. You are looking back through to the street. We found a grocery store just around the corner last night and bought some delicious cheese, bread, apricot nectar and kefir milk. All of this was available to choose by ourselves in the basement part of the store. I found out the hard way that each floor of the building was a separate store so I was emphatically informed on the top floor that the tea I had just chosen must be paid for on that same floor. They were not happy with me. Hmmmm.

We go to the State Department of Adoption at 2 p.m. (6 a.m. Michigan time) and head for Kherson tomorrow evening on the 7 pm train.

It won't be long 'til we see Maxim face to face. Hallelujah.

The Campaus Have Landed

We made it. What a blessing to be here in Kiev and settling in. Okay, first of all, I have to make the confession that after visions of some romatic little day trip during our ten hour layover in Munich, it was not to be. We were so tired we just window shopped and took turns sleeping in the airport. Our consolation is that we have both been to the city before so we didn't waste a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The apartment we have been provided here in Kiev is very old but very nice. Nice little kitchen, full bathroom like you would see in the states, extremely tall ceilings and a nice view down the street to the main square. We can see beautiful cathedrals, the music conservatory (I'd love to be fly on the wall in there; always nice music flowing out the doors and windows), and there is an underground mall nearby.

What, you may ask, did we eat today. Well, breakfast was a delightful spread of chocolate and trail mix left over from our journey. Lunch, we felt adventurous but not very capable. As we are accustomed to following biblical food laws/principles, and are not familiar yet with what's what, we gave in to the McDonalds sign. Oh well.

Blessings to you all. I will post pictures tomorrow.

This is the Day

This is the day
That the LORD has made
We will rejoice
And be glad in it.

Today, we fly out at 4:13 p.m. est, and head to Chicago. From there, we go to Munich and "enjoy" a 10 hour layover, before hopping another flight to Kiev. Whew!

The joy of the LORD is our strength. All praise to HIM.

Praises to God in the Highest

Prayer is powerful. Last night, at an ER, Carolanne finally found a knowledgable, compassionate advocate. I know who the Most Knowledgable and Compassionate is, of course, but we had just prayed that she would find a knowledgable, compassionate, faithful professional to come along side her. The pieces finally came together as the right person saw past test results and understood how desperately she needs help. God accomplished this and we are so encouraged. Don't stop praying. Carolanne is a beautiful, thoughtful, talented woman with so much to offer and it's such a blessing to hear of her getting some real help as we get ready to leave the country.

Tonight, we will:

celebrate the close of Shabbat with family
praise God for hearing and answering prayer
help Joel fold his papers for tomorrow's route
laugh together
play together
get the kids packed
try to sleep
marvel at God's hand on our lives